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I was queuing at a checkout in my local supermarket this morning.
The queues there were fairly long alright but were moving steadily.
Mine was moving along grand as well until the female in front of me reached the checkout.
She had a very large trolley load and I had resigned myself to the fact that she would take 6 or 7 minutes before I got my fairly modest amount checked out and could get away.
Little did I know what lay in store..
This individual stood to one side as the girl on the till checked her items through; she didn't lift a finger to help, other than manoeuvring her trolley into position. The poor girl soon had the space on the counter to her left piled high with yer wan's goods and finally had to resort into leaning over and dropping them into the waiting trolley as the person in question stood gazing out the window.
Finally, when the girl had finished checking and rung up the total, she took out her purse nice and slow, extracted her laser card and presented it to the operator.
Then she took her time keying in her pin and signing the slip. She paid absolutely no attention to the queue that had built up behind her but what happened next really took the biscuit.
When she had paid for her goods, she reached into a shopping bag she carried and extracted 5 or 6 plastic bags and then slowly and very carefully, she proceeded to pack her goods.   
She made no move whatsoever to get out of the way and did her business there and then, completely holding up the queue behind her until she was good and ready.
I'd have blown a fuse but the young operator was very rattled by the old bags' attitude and behaviour and I didn't want to upset her further.
It took a full quarter hour to get her through!

Sligonian,
I feel bad for you,  you are like a lot of Mayo people at heart. We wish our teams can win and get carried away when we win one or two and cry when it all falls apart like yesterdays game did for Sligo.
By the way Mayo have a very strong u21 side again this year so please give them a little respect and your own lads too, they did their best and maybe the game passed some by but they trained hard enough to be on the team and panel and they can only learn from it.

I've no problem at all seconding that.
The Sligo lads can't be faulted for lack of heart or effort and the game was played at a furious pace throughout. Most teams who are well behind will throw in the towel coming up to the end.
Not so Sligo yesterday.
I was surprised at how hard they kept trying right up to the final whistle.
Mayo have big mobile lads throughout the field and Sligo players just didn't have the physique to match them around the middle third of the field.
Even they lost well, I thought the score did not accurately reflect the exchanges out there.
Mayo's last goal slewed the final score somewhat but it can right at the death when all the lads were waiting for the ref to blow the whistle.
Talking of the ref, I have to say he seems a bit of a prat.  Either he just got a shiny new whistle and he can't resist blowing it or I badly need to have my glasses changed as I couldn't make out what he was up to a lot of the time.
I have one complaint after my visit to Markievicz Park and it doesn't concern the game at all.
For €15 I'd expect a half clean seat to sit on. There was dirt all over the place and the seats and their backs had a film of grime all over them. Many around me were very annoyed as a lot of them had the choice of either standing or needing to go to the expense of a trip to the dry cleaners.
Really, at €15, I'd expect someone to have given the seats a quick lick with a mop. It would be good civic training for a gang of u12s from the local club.

Sin a bhfuil...??

. I felt the Leitrim man in the middle did us no favours until the latter stages when he awarded us a good few dubios frees. Also in the period he produced his first yellow card for a Mayo player who had executed a perfect open hand tackle. He was bad for both sides but the benefit we got was after the horse had bolted. The decision to allow the third goal (which was blatantly a square ball) really angered me. Game was over, result not in doubt so obviously the officials are at best complete idiots.

What is it with those *****s from that Godforsaken County.?
Well Connacht lads do we all support Mayo as our U21 Reps in the All Ireland or do we just say -"Sure Under 21 is only oul nonsense,lets concentrate on proper football and ignore the ****s"  

FFS, What has sheep stealing got to do with 'proper' football?
If ye can't beat the likes of Cavan, yiz all should go back to what you all  do best- and that's stealing sheep to use as mobile leisure centres.  

The elder statesman, no less!
Well, I've been called many things in my time but no one who knows me, have ever come close to describing me as a statesman!!
With regard to the player in question, are we talking about handball here?
I have a feeling you could have Brian Colleran in mind.
BTW: Deel, I last attended a Connacht Final back in '99, a full decade ago. How the years fly by.
Just at the moment, the last game notwithstanding, I don't really have the heart to go watch the seniors anywhere. I'd love to go to see the u21s or maybe the minors or Cora & co. but there have been too many false dawns for me where the seniors are concerned.
I'll hold fire for a while before deciding about going to the next Connacht final at that level.

Don't know about Billy but fairly sure the poor auld fella that died went by the name of Eddie. Could be wrong though.

You are right; the father was Eddie alright. I just wasn't concentrating when I wrote that last post. I had been thinking more about poor Eddie's death than I was about Billy and what became of him.
I hope to make it to the game next weekend and I'm planning to go by Charlestown as I'd like to met up with  a few friends there.
I'm sure I'll find what I'm looking for then.
(Janey, as you get older, the auld memory starts to go a bit funny at times!)

what were they going to shoot him with?  guns were not invented   

spears then 

Nah! Better still, force him to referee a never-ending spat between lynchbhoy and EG, with full supporting casts!

Now that Sligonian seems to have gone off the boil somewhat, I thought I'd sneak in a question about another Bellaghy man who also played for Mayo.     
Can anyone here remember Billy Fitzmaurice?
His father, also Billy, had been a very popular figure in Bellaghy, where he ran a clothing and footwear store.
Some may remember that he died tragically when he was left tied up and unable to move after his premises were burgled. The poor man died of hypothermia as a result. That was about 10 years ago.
Reading comments here about Billy Fitzpatrick, put the other Billy Fitz in mind.

I cannot place him on the Mayo scene however. I know his career was a fairly short one and that he was a tidy comer forward and a ciotog to boot. I can't be sure he played championship football even but he certainly played for Mayo.
In any event, it was a good number of years ago, maybe thirty to thirty five so most here will not recall it personally but there may be some who just might.
Anyone else remember this Billy?

Youse are worse than the teachers.

How 'bout Hardy bein' jealous of teachers? Again!!

[maybe]

Not a bad result for Galway in the grand scheme of things. Kick up the backside that they needed.
Fair play to Mayo, they showed more hunger in the second half then I've seen from them in a long time. Makes for an interesting Connacht championship.
For all my talk about Sunday game analysts afraid of offending anyone with bland opinions I may as well say that I don't think Mayo will make a Connacht final. I think Roscommon will catch them on the hop.

No, he could well be right there. Ros were doing just fine up until a while ago and maybe they're just saving their performance levels for the Connacht semi-final though . Still though it's nice to beat Galway. I have to say Billy Fitzpatrick's analysis on the radio is really annoying. Every foul that resulted in a freee for Galway, he agreed with while if a Mayoman got the benefit of the doubt he'd be saying that it was a bit harsh on the Galway lad. Anyone else get this from listening to MWR games or is it just me??

Yep. It's just you! 

[Scurity]

Is it just me or do any of you get silly mistaakes in letters and emails.  This week I attended a Scurity Trade Show in City West and on one of the stands I visited I left my card because I was interested in their CCTV cameras.  This morning, Saturday, I got an email from "Josephine" in which she apologised for the delay in getting back to me. It ended with the imortal words "so all I ask is that you please bare with me for a few days" !!

I replied immediately telling her that if she was the bird I saw on the stand I would have no problem baring with her at all, for a month if she wanted.

I don't know if the "imortal" should have been immoral or immortal but I am surprised nobody seen the other few mistakes when ye were at it?

Oh, yes I have, Bud.
I was just being nice as I don't weant to pee on you rparade.

This bullsh1t of castigating nifan is a joke
He is far from a bigot & anyone who says he is would do well to back up what they say

10 Polish homes damaged on Saturday night. The worlds greatest fans couldnt possibly be involved 
I see the politicians are weiging in behind the greatest fans ever. Disgrace

A shower of f**king knackers

I've no problem agreeing with you there, FB.
It's a puzzle to me that some posters go out of their way to try and find evidence to label nifan as a sectarian bigot. I noticed this soon after I came onto this board, so I made it a habit to read any of his posts that I'd come across- just to see what the problem was.
Now, I'm not from Norn Iron and I don't get emotionally tied up with carry-ons at Windsor Park or with the antics of Celtic/ Ranger fans either.
From what I read, nifan is one of the soundest posters on the board and the taunts directed at him say a lot about the mindset of those involved.
While I'm at it, I'd regard ChrisOWC and most of the OWC lads as solid posters as well.
FFS; this is a discussion board and one has to expect differences of opinion and opposing points of view at times!
Why I'm going on about this is because I'm afraid that the thread will soon be hijacked by the usual suspects.
Usually, whenever there is a topic that has a Nationalist/ Unionist dimension, the heavies line up on either side and very quickly the discussion degenerates into a tit for tat name-calling session. There aren't too many, I know, but the end result is usually the same; sensible posters from both sides head off and leave them at it.

Sligoper:

I think for safety reasons its just aswell Sligonian is stuck in the desert because if Parsons life the cup in Markievicz then there would be holy war. Wouldnt be surprised to see him turn up with C4 strapped to him

Sligonian:

Probably spot on Sligoper, if the worst does happen, i wouldnt know what id do, but it wouldnt be good.

Jesus, someone notify the Emergency Response Unit and get them with army reinforcements down to Sligo for Saturday week. We have a bomb threat.
I'm upgrading you from deluded to psychotic....
Seriously, you need to let this go and find another hobby to occupy yourself - for your own sanity.
Have you considered camel racing?

Bang goes my promise to behave myself and stop tormenting the poor devil!
Don't worry, Sligonian, I'll be on my best behaviour after we win the title. (At least I intend to lay off but you never know...)

Dear Sligonian,

I dont know who to turn to. I need your help so bad. Ive noticed you have a similar prediciment to my own.

This is my story. I live on the Mayo-Sligo border. I have moved here recently. I have always been a hardcore Mayo fan so I was happy to find a house on the right side of the border. When I moved to the area I was shocked to find out that I was actually living in the parish of Castleconnor.
It took me a while to get over this but I said hey what about it. I can still go to mass in Ballina, support the Ballina team.
Everything was going fine until the other day i noticed a fine strapping young fella walking down the road with a ball at his feet. He had one hell of a sweet right foot. I could see it there and then. A future Mayo centre forward. It near brought a tear to my eye when I taught to the future and could see a neighbour lifting Sam for Mayo.
I spoke to lads father who was proud as punch of his son. He's another good Mayo man and even said he brought the young fella to see them recently in Ballina.
But then suddenly my whole world fell apart. His father told me the young fella would be starting in Castleconnor school next september and probably to Enniscrone secondry school down the road. I was shocked. I pleaded with him to see sense and pointed out the effect this would have for Mayo football in the future.
He laughed at me as if I were joking. How could he call himself a Mayo man. I asked him how he would feel if his son was one day captaining the Black and white against the Red and Green in a Connaught Final. I was really pleading with him. You know what he does next. He tells me to fcuk off. And walks away laughing. Does he not understand.

The reason I am writing to you is I dont know what to do next. I have tried some of the tactics you have carried out. Every time I see my neighbour and his son I shout abuse at them and call him a traitor. I have even put graffiti on his house gable. This is not working for me as all it has resulted in is me getting a hiding from the lads father and the youg fella running of crying. (A bit soft of the young fella but maybe he was upset at the taught of lining out with Sligo). He even had the cheek to call the Gaurds on me.
The Garda arrived out. At first I was relieved because I knew this garda had once played for Mayo. I explained everything to him and pleaded with him to try and talk sense into these traitors. What do you think he says. He's gonna charge me. I always knew he wasnt really up to it when he played for the county.

I note with interset the next steps you are taking in your campaign. I have already tried the teachers in the schools in Ballina and asked them to come to this mans door, but they wont listen. They say the schools are already full. All the neighbours keep laughing at me and telling me Im insane. Where could I round up a few of these "Coaches or Representitives" you talk about. I will need a few big ones as this fellas father wont go down with out a fight.

I will keep you informed of how my campaign is going and maybe we can compare notes.

Please help me Sligonian. Im at my wits end and I feel you are the only person in this world that understands me.

Your Sincerely

Criostlinn

That's is absolutely spot on. Fair play to you, Criostlinn. Here's hoping Sligonian will compare notes with you real soon. You may have given him a few new ideas.

I assume he trying to claim players from   the historical county divide of the river moy . untill the peoples of ardnaree and the quay escaped the mainly soccer county of sligo
i also assume he is doing this in an Ironic manner albeit a hamfisted one

I can tell you I am real sorry that I bothered to answer him at all.
Either the sun out in Dubai has addled his brain or else there is a right smart prankster out there somewhere who is having a good laugh at all of us poor eejits.
I am beginning to suspect that this is just a big wind up.
Now Sligonian, whoever he may be, has been going on about the county boundary between Charlestown and Bellaghy for well over a year now.
You'd think a snatch squad from Mayo have crawled under the barbed wire and crept through a minefield to kidnap Tom Parsons and bring him back to Charlestown against his will.
He gave an article on the Sligo GAA site as a source for his rantings and the two tulips that wrote it were even funnier than himself. According to the pair, Bellaghy was in existence 400 years before Charlestown, as if that meant anything.
Anyway, it's a pity to see this thread being hijacked for this sort of nonsense.

For all I know, Sligonian might turn out to be a 14-year  old schoolgirl in Tubbercurry and could be having a laugh at all of us poor fools who've let ourselves be taken in.