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References to drug tests get bonus points.

So with a little insomnia and thoughts of the hunting thread and my sister in laws resemblence to Miss Trunchbull running through my head, I arrived at a discourse Ive had with myself many more times than is possibly normal. It'd be nice to have someone elses opinion.
Im sure many of us read Roald Dahl growing up and Im wondering what the rest of you think is his greatest childrens book. Ive only polled the ones Ive read, as they appeared to be the most mainstream from what I can remember. Ill add any others upon request.

Its impossible for me to pick one, so everyone gets two votes and an honourable mention.
#1. Fantastic Mr Fox
#2. Danny the Champion of the world


Honourable mention - the somewhat biographical Boy.

Who says karma isnt great. Sister in law babysitting, being a little bossy. Insists on the dogs getting off the sofa and so on. So my boy Elvis chewed up her hideous Mildred Hubblesque Boots as she lay snoring while we were out. Hes never chewed anything up before.
The hardest part? Keeping a straight face and pretending to be contrite and scolding the dog. Almost as gratifying as the time he peed all over the father in law.
Attaboy.

Well its all over now and except for Pints who is still receiving christmas presents after the traditional day of giving - did everyone get something they wanted?

Mrs Puck brought home the odessy twoball white hot putter, and a nice new pair of nikes. She is presently returning most of the things I got for her - except Rois - her new handbag.

Not sure if anyone reads these weekly - but this is part one of a two part special of the best sports quotes of the year - some pearls.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7147556.stm


I used to milk 100 cows six days a week, and then go to a place like Newbridge, in Wales, on a wet Wednesday night and have my head kicked in. It was a tough apprenticeship, but you know what? I miss those days."
New England rugby union captain Phil Vickery reminisces about the good ol' days.

"It's a bit like Amsterdam. They look great in the window, but it's different when you go inside."
Comic Bob Mills debates the perils of football's transfer window.


Is Scotland that way?
"I didn't know it was the home of golf. I thought the home of golf was where I was from."
Boo Weekley with his verdict on St Andrews. Weekley hails from Milton in Florida. His nickname comes from Yogi Bear's sidekick, Boo Boo Bear.

"All through the match I just wasn't there, I didn't perform. I played like a fish!"
Mark Williams misses out on a plaice in the second round of the World Snooker Championship after losing to Joe Swail.

"Some players have psychologists, some have sportologists - I smoke."
US Open winner Angel Cabrera.

"I felt the rear end go down, selected first gear and thought I saw the lolly move."
Lewis Hamilton on jumping the gun during a pit stop at Silverstone. At least we think that's what he was talking about.

"Sometimes on a day off I go to the Krispy Kreme doughnut shop. When we play at home, I go there after the game and it's like a doughnut party! Everyone is eating doughnuts inside their cars - it's like a disco!"
Cesc Fabregas reveals his Homer Simpson fitness philosophy.

"I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries. I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That's the closest thing I know to London. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London. I'm sure that's a coincidental name."
Miami Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder ahead of the clash with the New York Giants at Wembley. Americans - gotta love 'em.


Earl shows Khan who's the boss

"It is nice to be recognised for actually achieving something in life as opposed to spending seven weeks in a house on TV with a load of other muppets."
British cyclist Bradley Wiggins has a pop at Big Brother after finishing fourth in the Tour de France prologue.

"I swear on my mother's life, my late mother's life."
Alex Higgins being interviewed by Stephen Nolan on BBC Northern Ireland.

"99% of the letters and e-mails are supporting us and that's not bad. That's as good as Saddam Hussein did and he was fiddling the figures."
Ken Bates after winning his battle to retain control at Leeds United.

"I put the tape in and we all found ourselves watching He-Man Masters of the Universe."
Former world snooker champion Joe Johnson finally decides to watch a re-run of his 1986 triumph on video and finds his kids have taped over it.

"He hit me below the belt, south of the border, south of the equator, everywhere you can imagine. What a filthy fighter."
Alex Arthur reveals his displeasure at the tactics of Koba Gogoladze after knocking out the Georgian during their super featherweight clash.

"I was made to stand on a chair and sing Lulu's 'Shout' to the lads as part of the initiation... it was only after I'd finished - and they'd stopped laughing - that I found out I was the only new player to do it."
Bristol City new boy Lee Trundle is singing from a different hymn sheet to the rest of his team-mates.


Terry or Cudicini - who's your favourite?
"He will find out the hard way on his birthday that he has got a present he never wanted.''
Graham Earl vows to wish Amir Khan an unhappy 21st birthday ahead of their fight in December. Earl was knocked out after 72 seconds.

"You can compare us at the moment to a bit of soft porn - there is an awful lot of foreplay and not a lot going on in the box."
Rochdale manager Keith Hill reflects on their 2-1 home defeat by Stockport.

"Dad's tiny - his passport picture is a full-length shot. He looks like he just hopped off a key ring. Mum is a different matter, she's a bit of a handful to say the least. I love her more than anyone on this Earth. But she's a monster."
Boxer Ricky Hatton lavishes praise on his parents.

He's got quite a bit of rhythm to him but you ought to see me on the dance floor in Manchester on a Saturday night with 12 pints of Guinness inside me - he doesn't even come close."
Hatton poo-poos Floyd Mayweather's appearance on Dancing With The Stars.


FOOTBALL FUNNIES
"I reckon he left the club in a much better state than when he took over."
Text message to BBC Five Live after Leroy Rosenior lasts just 10 minutes as Torquay manager.

"Up front we played like world beaters - at the back it was more like panel beaters."
Wigan manager Paul Jewell on a 3-3 draw with Spurs.

"I look forward to taking the club into a new era."
Comment from new Luton chairman David Pinkney in April - the club went in administration, were hit by a raft of FA charges and docked 10 points in November.

"I am not the 'Special One'. I'm the normal one. But my wife says I am special. What am I like? I am 180cm."
New Chelsea manager Avram Grant has them rolling in the aisles in his first press conference.


View of a T-shirt in honour of Mourinho
"Lampsy, I reckon. The girls like him a little bit. If I was that way I'd see something in him."
Chelsea captain John Terry when asked by the club's TV station to name the best-looking player in the squad.

"There's a few ugly ones. Carlo is probably the best looking."
Lampard plumps for Carlo Cudicini.

"I didn't know it was against the rules."
Cabofriense defender Cleberson after being booked for kissing the referee during a 3-1 defeat by Botafogo at the Maracana.

"I feel OK. The only difference is in training you have the press - and they want to come back home and sleep with you."
Barcelona striker Thierry Henry on his intimate relationship with the Spanish hacks.

"Well I'm the Prince and I'm sort of slaying a dragon - which is something I've never done before, obviously."
David Beckham on his role in Disney's Dream Portrait ads.

"These so-called big stars are people we are supposed to be looking up to. Well they are weak and soft. If they don't want to come because their wife wants to go shopping in London, it's a sad state of affairs."
Sunderland boss Roy Keane says what he thinks - just for a change.

"I had 18 players at Brentford and 20 at MK Dons, but when you see all the players run out at training here it's like a scene from Zulu!"
Martin Allen compares the size of his Leicester squad to the Michael Caine epic...not a lot of people knew that.

"There's more chance of me flying Concorde to the moon blindfolded than there is of you taking Wales to the World Cup."
What Robbie Savage reportedly told Wales manager John Toshack. At least he's not bitter.

"I'll bounce back - I'm not one to lie on a beach."
Former England manager Steve McClaren, shortly before jetting off for a break in Barbados.



JOSE MOURINHO

Wiggins is no muppet
"My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away."
Jose Mourinho uses his post-FA Cup final speech to reassure the population that his runaway Yorkie has left the country.

"The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem."
Mourinho was desperate for Chelsea to scramble a win from somewhere.

"I would love to gather all the fans together to say goodbye but they would crush me with their love."
Jose is as modest as ever on leaving Stamford Bridge.


IAN HOLLOWAY
"I think the Bosman thing is a pile of donkey dung."
BBC Sport columnist Ian Holloway, the former Plymouth manager, after learning midfielder Tony Capaldi was considering his future.

"If I'd have been one of their fans I'd have hit him with a bottle myself."
Holloway after an over-the-top goal celebration by Pilgrims player Hasney Aljofree led to bottles being thrown by Peterborough fans.

"I love the big man, absolutely brilliant. Some of the films were a bit dodgy. That one where he was diving off a cliff, he climbed back up to the top, his hair was immaculate and he wasn't even wet... and for me that's why he's the King.
All shook up over Elvis.


There's only one Ian Holloway - with Leicester chairman Milan Mandaric
"It's still in my body and I'll have to pass it at sometime but my passing's absolutely diabolical. That's what I told the doctor: "What chance have I got of passing anything - did you see me play?!"
Holloway speaks about his kidney stone.

"If we're talking lookalikes he's Toad of Toad Hall, isn't he?"
On new Chelsea boss Avram Grant.

"I was never tempted to become a punk. I was Sidney Serious, I was into George Benson. I was smooth. Smooth as a cashmere codpiece."
His take on punk, after the Sex Pistols announced a UK tour.

"If that was a penalty, I might as well call myself Alec McJockstrap, and put on a kilt."
Holloway, now with Leicester City, on a dodgy penalty decision.

Right lads, Ive gotten (obviously) no clue when it comes to electronics.
My mum is over here at the minute and wants to buy a mobile that will work in america and europe so that when she comes to stay all she has to do is swap sim cards and so on. Can anyone give me some advice as to what she wants/needs? Is this what this tri-band is all about?

[url][http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/internationals/7128801.stm/url]


Wolves to make McCarthy statement 

Reports are linking McCarthy with the vacant South Korea job
Wolverhampton Wanderers are to make a statement about boss Mick McCarthy, who is being linked with the vacant South Korea coach's job.
McCarthy and former Liverpool manager Gerard Houllier have been confirmed as the two candidates.

The Korean Football Association is set to to make a decision by Saturday.

KFA president Chung Mong-joon said: "We have received the final answer from both candidates and now have to agree on a contract."

Korea have been searching for a new coach since July when Pim Verbeek stepped down after leading the Taeguk Warriors to third place at the 2007 AFC Asia Cup.

McCarthy has previous international experience after spending six years in charge of the Republic of Ireland and steered them to the second round of the World Cup in 2002, before taking over at Sunderland.

606: DEBATE
Looks like Mick McCarthy is going to South Korea to be an international manager again. I seriously hope he does

TH8r

The 48-year-old parted company with the Black Cats in March 2006 with the club bottom of the Premiership and took over at Molineux four months later.

Wolves are currently sixth in the Championship, having won nine of their opening 20 league games this season.

Houllier, meanwhile, is available after leaving Lyon earlier this year.

The former Liverpool manager is France's technical director having spent two successful years in charge of Lyon.

The 60-year-old has also been linked with the England job.

Since there appear to be a few renegade gamblers floating around the board and with the global explosion of Poker thanks to the world series, I thought Id open this thread. Any online players out there? Any real time table sharks?

My favourite game, although one I dont get to play too much due to limited ability in Reno is Omaha. There are Omaha high, and Omaha hi/lo split. I try and stick to omaha high, as its a little easier to follow at first.

The basic premise is the same as texas holdem, except each player recieves 4 down cards in the hole. This gives you a multitude of ways to make your hand as the community cards come out. The community cards are the same as texas holdem, with three cards dealt on the flop, followed by a round of betting. When this round is finished, the dealer deals the 4th card, or turn card. Again there is a round of betting. The players left after this round will see the 5th card, or the river.

The trick to omaha is that while the player is dealt 4 cards of their own in the hole, they may use only two of them to complete their hand at the end of the betting. Almost always, the winning hand is a flush, straight or full house. Whereas in texas holdem, you might feel fairly confident holding Ace King, with one Ace on the board, and a bunch of nothing cards, in omaha, top pair, or two pair is very rarely a winning hand when the cards are turned face up.


This is pasted from one poker site concerning omaha:


Omaha players all start with four cards. Each four card hand contains six Hold'em hands when the four cards are converted to all possible combinations of two. ie: ABCD = AB AC AD BC BD CD. (Players must
play two cards from their hands and three from the board). If you are in a pot with five other players after
the flop, it is sort of comparable to a Texas Hold'em game against thirty other players, because each of
your five competitors is holding six Hold'em hands instead of one. So if you get down to the river
with a very good hand, but one that can be beaten by some other two card combinations, brace yourself for a loss because they are likely to be out there somewhere.. . . Your high end straight on the flop runs into serious problems when the board turns up three suited cards or a pair. A flush or a full house will usually pop up to beat you. . . In Omaha, always play for the NUT!


Lets talk poker!

Indian man marries dog/bitch. At least he knows what hes signing himself up for.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/7093422.stm

Man marries bitch to beat curse 

The "bride" wore a sari and a garland.


Enlarge Image

An Indian man has married a female dog, believing the union will help him atone for stoning two other dogs to death.
P Selvakumar, 33, said he had been cursed since the killings, suffering paralysis and a loss of hearing.

The wedding took place at a Hindu temple in Tamil Nadu state. The "bride" wore an orange sari with a flower garland and was fed a bun to celebrate.

Superstitious people in rural India sometimes organise weddings to animals in the hope of warding off curses.

'Tried every cure'

Crowds cheered the newly-weds at the end of the ceremony in Sivaganga district, about 50km (30 miles) east of the city of Madurai.

The "bride", who is called Selvi, was led to the temple in Manamudurai wearing a sari before vows were exchanged in a traditional Hindu ceremony.

A relative of the groom who attended the wedding said he hoped Mr Selvakumar would now be cured.

"Fifteen years back Selvakumar was physically fit. But, once he attacked a pair of dogs and thereafter Kumar could not move his limbs freely," the relative, Ramu, told the BBC.

"He tried every cure for his ailment but could not be rid of his disability.

"On the advice of an astrologer and others, he decided to marry a bitch to get cured. Then we arranged Selvakumar's marriage with a bitch."

Has anyone ever heard of, tried out the crossfit program? One of the co workers does it and swears that its the ticket for improving core body strength and all around fitness. I guess the website gives you a different workout every day.

http://www.crossfit.com/

Came across this workout video by 3 chicks. Its called nasty girls. Its safe for work but feck me, I dont think id be able to complete the exercises!

http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/003118.html

click on the nasty girls link and it will open up the video. Well worth a watch.

Does anyone here actually implement plans for budgeting and saving when their weekly/monthly money comes in, or do we all live paycheck to paycheck?
I was never taught to save, and I think being loose with money is in my genes. Very much a live for the moment kind of family upbringing.
With the newest member of family Puckoon just a couple of months away from arrival, does anyone have any real ideas or pointers when it comes to budgeting out the money for the month?
I realise the golf/poker and sushi dinners will have to be knocked on the head, but does anyone have any real money saving tips for having a first child?
I only have one year to scrimp by as Mrs Puckoon (definitely) and Mr Puckoon (hopefully) will have graduated and moved onto real cracking jobs in sept 2008.

From a few posts on the First/last CDs you bought, I think this might generate some decent interest. Ill run the poll for a week and post the results, if there is enough interest.

Was watching a program last night on the travel channel - Bizzare foods with andrew zimmern. Anyways, he was in great britain as he called it, and travelled from scotland, threw swansea and down into london, taking in some of the more interesting things that are eaten there.
Now I feel like Im cultured enough, and plenty adventurous when it comes to food, but for some reason, my mind draws the line at haggis, and things with blood and offal in it, even though if it was put in front of me, Id probably want to eat it. Also I recognise I probably do eat it when Im eating a burger or a sausage.
Anyone able to give me first hand account of eating things like this so I can get over my mind and just do it? Or has anyone just eaten plenty of weird stuff?

Does anyone know where I could get my hands on a series of three pictures from the 2003 all-ireland final called three steps to glory? The pictures are three in a series of Conor Gormley making "the block" on Steven McDonnell. I was promised a copy by an omagh publican but it fell through.
If anyone knows where I can get a copy, or has a copy and could mail it to the US, or even send it to my family in Omagh - Id be much obliged and willing to pay for expenses.

So its 1am and I hear one of the dogs growling this morning and figure he wants out to go do his business. Stumble out of the bed, pull on some shorts, walk to the door, open the door and come face to face (literally a foot away) with a fecking 250lb bear. At first I thought someone had glued two newfoundlands one on top of the other and stuck it outside my door, then I saw the teeth and realised that no glue is that strong. Managed thankfully to pull the pups back by their tails, closed the door and shit my pants.
Called the cops as it wouldnt leave. Cops arrived after 30 mins (bear appeared to have left) and stand in the driveway shining the light at my front door. I call from the window - "You want to come down"
Cop says, "No way! - someone called in a report of a bear there..."
To serve and protect.

I should note that I dont live in Ireland anymore..