Rats - any good stories?

[Fishbat]

For the country folk

Anyone here ever sort spuds?  always great craic shovelling spuds into the sorter and having an avalanche of mice falling down round your feet, then the battering begins,....usually killed more spuds than mice though.

Or getting down to the last bale of hay and 20 mice hiding behind it - pure turkey shoot.

My next door neighbour shot a rat in our back lawn - he got the rat alright but also took out 4 panes in the greenhouse then blamed it on the grandkids cloddin stones!....despite the fact a shotgun is fairly loud, pellet holes in glass and a splattered rat on the lawn, he stuck to the story.....and fair play, say nothin and you're out in 24 hrs.

also have a friend who had a rat problem at christmas one year, ended up dead under his christmas tree on christmas morning, nice and plump and black as the ace of spades, trap was set on the window sill but the bastard somehow ended up under the tree across the room........santy's getting to be a quare miserable aul bollix these days

[Bod Mor]

Anyone here ever sort spuds? 

Sort them? We were lucky to get them never mind sort them!!!

also have a friend who had a rat problem at christmas one year, ended up dead under his christmas tree on christmas morning, nice and plump and black as the ace of spades, trap was set on the window sill but the bastard somehow ended up under the tree across the room........santy's getting to be a quare miserable aul bollix these days

Who, the friend or the rat?

[Hurler on the Bitch]

See those squirrels.. 1 in our back garden the other week and everyone's all "Aaaaahhhh!" It's a fecking rat with a bushy tail..! Story I was told at my grandfather's knee etc... Rats are cute hoors and only appears in swarms when there is serious trouble... Is that where Rats of a Sinking Ship comes from? During the Belfast Blitz all the rats in the sewers panicked as the noise etc brought them to the surface. There are stories of swarms - thousands - of them running up towards the hills in search of safety - moral is that you never know how many of the boys there are until the sh1t hits the fan!

[Orior]

I have first hand experience of

1) lifting a bale of hay and finding a nest of mice

2) shoveling spuds into the picking machine. My memory is of finding many spuds which had been have eaten by rats, and having to disregard them

[Hurler on the Bitch]

My grandfather found two rats feasting on the cooked turkey one Christmas morning - my da says he had to throw half it out.

[Orior]

My friend Roland is not happy about this thread!

[Hurler on the Bitch]

Not worried - him and his Durex ears!

[Fishbat]

"Who? him or the rat?"

He was under the tree later that night half dead i'd say!  come to think of it, the reason that rat was in such good shape was it had been gorging itself on dog food - some sheen of its coat, it would have been edible if you were stuck.

"2) shoveling spuds into the picking machine. My memory is of finding many spuds which had been have eaten by rats, and having to disregard them"

Good god man are ye mad? - those spuds go to Belfast..., along with the wasp nibbled strawberries, casualty lamb and shot Icebergs

[3000 miles away]

we set them sticky mats one time to catch a few of the rats and by chance i checked it one morning and there was four feet on the sticky mat but no rat, i looked round the corner of the shed and there was this big black rat like a fuckin cat, wit no legs and blood everywhere, bastard ate his own legs off in order to get away, he didnt get away from the shotgun i fired about 10 shots him, wasnt much left of him then.

[mountainboii]

we set them sticky mats one time to catch a few of the rats and by chance i checked it one morning and there was four feet on the sticky mat but no rat, i looked round the corner of the shed and there was this big black rat like a fuckin cat, wit no legs and blood everywhere, b**tard ate his own legs off in order to get away, he didnt get away from the shotgun i fired about 10 shots him, wasnt much left of him then.

f**king hell, that's like some rat version of Saw.

[Onion Bag]

I would run a f**king mile, detest the bastards, even the word rat, 

[Orior]

I was out for a cycle on Sunday and part of my run was between Newtownards and Comber.

That particular stretch of road is mad and I've never seen so many rats in a long time. They feed on the rotting potatoes and have no fear.

Orior's tip: Not a good place to have a puncture.

[High Wide and Handsome]

Have to admit I hate the things and am scared shitless of them.

Heard a story one time tho from my uncle. He was working out on a site or something to that affect and a rat ran out in front of a fellow co-worker and ran up in trousers. the man caught the rat just above the knee but inside his trousers. he ended up crushing the rat with his hand but it took his co workers ages for him to release his hand as it was locked solid on the thing. dont think the man was in good shape after it

[illdecide]

I used to work in a Galvanising plant and one day we caught a rat, it was injured from the size 10 steel toe boots. A guy i worked with at the time picked it up by the tail (wearing big red waterproof gloves that go up to your elbow) and carried it over to the Galvanising bath that was full of boiling Zinc, he threw the rat into the bath. Remember Zinc is very dense and the rat floated on top like it was on ice but the squeals of that fecker will always live with me as it bounced around the top of the zinc bath. As the heat built up the rat started to swell and then popped to which the squealing stopped...deadly way to finish him off but ya had to see it to believe it

[full back]

Jaysus, some of them stories are rough

If it was other animals the do-gooder brigade would be on the thread giving out stink