girlfriend - help

[kinghen]

SO we talked a we bit last night and a we bit this morning. We'll talk proper tonight. Shes unsure whats she wants out of the realationship or where its going. We both love eachother but the fizz, spark (cuddles and sex) has gone a bit, I tried to take a less direct line, by having a glass of wine with her then tried a bit of kissin, but she wasnt fooled by my change of game plan. So they I tried to take mayomans advice, but the box was a no go zone, legs were welded shut. So im left with me head up me hole. A bit of fresher action would be fun, but i couldnt cheat on her the guilt eat me. Thanks so for all the replies so far

OMG.  I wasn't sure if this was the right forum for discussing this but now I know it's OK.  I was on a stag party in Amsterdam when I seen this 6ft 2 blond thing with big shoulders and big thighs hanging around a street corner (turns out that's not the only thing that was big).  To cut a long story short now I have syphilis and the wife is starting to get suspicious.  Has anyone got any advice?

it'll porb be harder to tell her you're gay than to tell her about the STI tbf

[The Gs Man]

SO we talked a we bit last night and a we bit this morning. We'll talk proper tonight. Shes unsure whats she wants out of the realationship or where its going. We both love eachother but the fizz, spark (cuddles and sex) has gone a bit, I tried to take a less direct line, by having a glass of wine with her then tried a bit of kissin, but she wasnt fooled by my change of game plan. So they I tried to take mayomans advice, but the box was a no go zone, legs were welded shut. So im left with me head up me hole. A bit of fresher action would be fun, but i couldnt cheat on her the guilt eat me. Thanks so for all the replies so far

Give it a couple of days chief.  The painters are probably in.

[tbrick18]

How can you tell the difference between a male and a female, or does it matter?
(non farming man)

The male has a c*ck.

[ardal]

I'd reckon we'd need a couple of more details about youngfella himself before giving worthwhile advice. I'm guessing he's not a city lad, and that your one is his first roide. She's entered the job market, he's got 2 more years of not going to lectures, getting pished mid week, spending more time on thinking about pranks than dissertations etc etc etc. Your lives are now totally different, let her go, there's plenty more fish in the sea and even more if you've got a large steady rod.

Your mission; if you've the balls to accept it is:
Let the poor girl go; if she really loves she'll come back
Initially keep you aims low, eg a girl from each continent
Then up the antsy, a girl from each EU country
Expand your horizons because after university you'll have feck all time for anything but work and a little football

[his holiness nb]

Fair play to ye lads, some serious comedy on here!!!

Oh and youngfella, I see you mention the sex spark gone, and refer to cuddles and a glass of wine.

Smoothness and romance is all very well, but maybe you just need to grab her and ride the hole of her, a bit of the rough stuff.
Suprise her, but not too much, thats rape.

[SidelineKick]

Fair play to ye lads, some serious comedy on here!!!

Oh and youngfella, I see you mention the sex spark gone, and refer to cuddles and a glass of wine.

Smoothness and romance is all very well, but maybe you just need to grab her and ride the hole of her, a bit of the rough stuff.
Suprise her, but not too much, thats rape.

[Main Street]

Of all the advice on here, you take Mayo mans fingering the box.
Talk about walking into it.
When a relationship that you want to save, is on the brink, you don't try sex as a last resort.
You're out on your ear youngfellow, not a chance now.

[illdecide]

Go home tonight and go straight into the kitchen and bend her over the kitchen table whilst holding her head firmly to the kitchen table. then ride her like a bucking Bronco untill you fill her full of shot, then wipe it of the side of her arse and slap it and say right i'll be seeing you around sometime...When walking back out of the house don't even turn around just walk saan.

It'll be like marmite she'll either love it or hate it...

[The Gs Man]

Desperate times call for desperate measures........

Dirty Sanchez.

[take_yer_points]

Times like this call for one thing and one thing only... The Shocker!



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shocker_hand_gesture

[kumquat]

Fair play to ye lads, some serious comedy on here!!!

Oh and youngfella, I see you mention the sex spark gone, and refer to cuddles and a glass of wine.

Smoothness and romance is all very well, but maybe you just need to grab her and ride the hole of her, a bit of the rough stuff.
Suprise her, but not too much, thats rape.

Desperate times call for desperate measures........

Dirty Sanchez.

Give her the Hoodini 

[wherefromreferee?]

Times like this call for one thing and one thing only... The Shocker!



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shocker_hand_gesture

2 in the pink, 1 in the stink

A great move! 

[ziggysego]

FFS, this is getting out of hand.

Sir, best to delete this thread. Your girlfriend will kick your ass out the door for you, if she sees this.

[fitzroyalty]

having had a quick look at this thread I think the best thing the young man can do is play the field a bit. Go out, get rat up, and do a bit of work. aim really low, boggers, even a fat ride will do. while ur dartin the lass the only thing running thru ur mind will be how the fcuk did i end up with this moose. you will then be left with no option but to go out the next few nights and redeem yourself by pulling a half decent - to good looking blade. not only does this method keep you busy these cold autumn evenings, but it will also keep your mind off the ex. good luck big son

[MayoMan]

How the hell did that not work young fella, it normally does the trick!!  
Only one option left i'm afraid, its a tricky one so be carefull of the banjo string.....
Burst her shit bag..... Bull into it  

I can pick you up a t-shirt with this on it if ya like..... Drives the girls wild!!