News item in today's Sunday Life.

[T Fearon]

A thirty year old church going man who is a Daniel O'Donnell fan admitted abusing his position as a cleaner in a care home by stealing an Olympic boxing medal won years ago by 80 year old John Mc Nally,a resident of the home.He sold it to cash converters but when he saw th distress of the  victim on the tv news,he promptly went back to the shop and bought back the medal and returned it to it's owner anonymously (unlucky for him the CCTV at the shop recorded him selling and buying the medal back).

The absolute shame of it.Imagine if it was splashed all over the paper that you were a Daniel O'Donnell fan.

[BennyCake]

That's shocking! The Sunday Life is still going?!! 

[ONeill]

A thirty year old church going man who is a Daniel O'Donnell fan admitted abusing his position as a cleaner in a care home by stealing an Olympic boxing medal won years ago by 80 year old John Mc Nally,a resident of the home.He sold it to cash converters but when he saw th distress of the  victim on the tv news,he promptly went back to the shop and bought back the medal and returned it to it's owner anonymously (unlucky for him the CCTV at the shop recorded him selling and buying the medal back).

The absolute shame of it.Imagine if it was splashed all over the paper that you were a Daniel O'Donnell fan.

Bit of a long-winded way to get to the joke.

This is more like it:

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was assaulted.

[ziggysego]

Could have been worse. He could have been outted all over the papers as a Spurs fan.

[Hardy]

A man walked into a bar, ordered a drink and, when he finished it, he left.
He had no idea how jokes work.

[Square Ball]

a man walked into a bar, he hurt himself, it was an iron bar


bye

[muppet]

A man walks into a bar,
He says to the barman 'have you seen my horse?'
The barman says 'Nay'.

[Sheedy]

a ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks for a pint of Guinness.
the barman says 'sorry, we don't serve food'.

[ONeill]

Thomas Edison walked into a bar and ordered a beer.

The bartender said, "Okay, I'll serve you a beer, just don't get any ideas."

[muppet]

BallDeBeaver walked into a bar,
he knocked it, built a new house and moved in.
The whereabouts of the barman is not known at this time.

[Tony Baloney]

A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a pub. The barman says, 'Is this some kind of f**king joke?'

[anglocelt39]

Man walks into a bar and orders an elephants tongue sandwich. barman says no can do we've just run out of bread

[ONeill]

Fearon, Hardy and Hardstation walked into a bar.

Hardstation ordered a barrack buster and a crisp bap, sticks a quid into the jukebox and plays Rockall by the Wolfe Tones. Hardy complained about the price of the pint, the loudness of the music, the apostrophe in toilet's, northerners and Hardstation's crumbs. Fearon sent a topical tweet to the Irish News about the UUP/DUP/SDLP. 

[T Fearon]

Not only topical,but witty as well

[muppet]

Micheál Martin walked into a bar,
The barman thanked him for coming and gave him a free drink.
Micheál repaid him by having the barman's business collapse and footing debts of a trillion Euros upon him.
The man gave Micheál another drink.