brilliant lies!

[emainmacha]

Once told by a well known character in Armagh area

"It was around the start of the troubles and I was up the country hunting and nothing was moving so went to O'Tooles for a beer, went out the back and we were throwing empty bottles and shooting at them, took a shot at one and a army jet flew over just as I fired. You know the pilot ejected into Seaghan Lough and it crashed in Fermanagh but they hushed it up because they didn't want anyone to know"

[john mcgill]

This may have been posted before but here goes anyway - they held a biggest lie competition in the US and the winner was a man who said he saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

[saffron sam2]

"I didn't post that. Someone else must have hacked into my acoount*. My life is ruined!"

* Phonetic spelling.

[The Gs Man]

One of the Dorans from Kinnego, just outside Lurgan is an awful spoofer.

Told me one time he was at the Country Club in Lurgan on a Friday night.  At closing time he asked the barman for a 12-pack for the walk home.  Barman says he had no plastic bags.  So yer man says he poured the beer into two buckets and dandered on home.....

[The Iceman]

Once told by a well known character in Armagh area

"It was around the start of the troubles and I was up the country hunting and nothing was moving so went to O'Tooles for a beer, went out the back and we were throwing empty bottles and shooting at them, took a shot at one and a army jet flew over just as I fired. You know the pilot ejected into Seaghan Lough and it crashed in Fermanagh but they hushed it up because they didn't want anyone to know"

any clues as to who this well known character is
I gave some clues to my armagh spoofer

[Tony Baloney]

You couldn't meet a bigger liar than a fella I used to run about with at Queen's years ago. I don't even know where to start:
How about fathering a child when he was fourteen at a scout jamboree in South Korea.
Playing guitar with Christy Moore one night his regular player injured himself.
Holding the lap record for the old circuit of Ireland rally lap at Glen in Donegal
The 2 handed upper cut that he hit two boys with outside the Union one night that lifted them off their feet and onto a car bonnet.
Having a pistol put to his head in a bar on the Antrim Road and told if he didn't recite the national anthem he'd have a spare ear hole
Maybe the night he beat Paul O'Connell in an arm wrestle in the Burlo after a match (apparently one of the players recognised him and asked him to the party!)
But I think the piece de resistance was the time he was entertaining two ladies on his bed in Paris when the next thing him, bed and ladies landed in the middle of the hotel lobby bar as he was going so hard the bed fell thru the floor!

[emainmacha]

tony he is not a spring chicken as can work out from time the story dates, and lived in Dalton, think he's still there, well known in red neds for his "F'ing"

Another of his was that he joined the UDR at the outset but left when realised what they were, said he was guarding the electric transformers for the cross border connection next to tandragee, when two men cut their way through the wire to plant a bomb, hs shouted at them to stop and when they didn't he shot them both dead. Again it was all hushed up because they where two UDR men and they didn't want the bad publicity

[Minder]

A fella from home, now in his 40's is possibly the biggest bullshitter i have ever met. If you get talking to him in the bar he just gets straight into it, he told me once he was working in America and got into a bar fight. Needless to say he gave his opponent a thrashing but alas the peelers but him in Attica or some similar jail. He go talking to the prison governor one day and the governor agreed to arm wrestle him for his freedom. There could only be one result.......

[thejuice]

I used to work for a lad who just couldnt resist lying. Used to be 3 of us in the van and he'd be talkin pure shite all the way to the site. By the time we got there the 2 of us jump out and split our sides laughing. You'd ask him did he do anything the night before or at the weekend.

Well he couldnt have just said he'd gone out and had a good night on the beer, no, he was fighting this fella, lifting lads of the ground by their collar and throwing them across the bar, and he'd tell ye he drank close to 40 pints on a Sunday, yet it clearly having no adverse effect on him Monday.

He told me of this time he went to Boston for Paddy's Day, well, he managed to be treated as guest of honour by the Mayor of Boston "because he was Irish" and by our estimates drank 100+ pints of Guinness and 20 dinners over a 48 hour period all on the Mayors tab.

Another time while on a job he had to remove a giant piece of concrete from site. The guy who owned the site, his son was a "world-champion weight-lifter"  and he had a go at lifting the concrete but failed. Well my boss walked up and said stand back, rolled up the sleeves and lifted the concrete and threw in the skip.

The man was a walking bullshit factory, and a bollox to work for, he'd start making up things to criticise your work about too.

[Chrisowc]

A fella I know told me a saw a hammer head shark coming up the Lagan.

[bridgegael]

i know a fella that said he designed the ventilation systems in the twin towers!  same fella said he wrote music for u2!  complete bullshitter!  still lives in a council house and drives a oul ford car bout 20 years old.

[fitzroyalty]

Me and four other mates were in the o'neills shop about 2 yrs ago where there was a sale on. we decided we'd all buy the same antrim tracksuit for a laugh. we then wore them to renshaws, to pull women lettin on we were members of the antrim u21 football team!

[Minder]

Me and four other mates were in the o'neills shop about 2 yrs ago where there was a sale on. we decided we'd all buy the same antrim tracksuit for a laugh. we then wore them to renshaws, to pull women lettin on we were members of the antrim u21 football team!

It must be a helluva status symbol, being a member of the Antrim U-21 football team.........

[youngfella]

Me and four other mates were in the o'neills shop about 2 yrs ago where there was a sale on. we decided we'd all buy the same antrim tracksuit for a laugh. we then wore them to renshaws, to pull women lettin on we were members of the antrim u21 football team!

You could of went as a derry hurler and wore jeans and t-shirt.

[The Real Laoislad]

youngfella why aren't you out riding a quare wan tonight?