Top five regrets of the dying

[Olly]

There has been a lot of talk about dying and people seem to be dying more than ever this year. I've seen in various publications a table of regrets for people on their deathbeds. Although I think it's a sinister questionnaire they're filling out at a time of looking into the light but it does raise some interesting observations:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."


Personally, if I was dead now I would have these regrets.

1. I wish I had run a marathon, a half marathon, 10k, 5k or even a mile. I wish I had run.
2. I wish I had found out the cure for my itching.
3. I wish I had tasted a woman
4. I wish I hadn't reacted badly to bad news. When my father told me of the non-existence of Santa I burnt down his shed with his car and wolf in it.
5. I wish I was more open about my liking of Nazi memorabilia.

Does anyone have a regret?

[seafoid]

I wish I didn't pass that ball to John Casey

I wish I was born in Kilkenny

I wish I knew how to get tickets for the all-Ireland

[SLIGONIAN]

There has been a lot of talk about dying and people seem to be dying more than ever this year. I've seen in various publications a table of regrets for people on their deathbeds. Although I think it's a sinister questionnaire they're filling out at a time of looking into the light but it does raise some interesting observations:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."


Personally, if I was dead now I would have these regrets.

1. I wish I had run a marathon, a half marathon, 10k, 5k or even a mile. I wish I had run.
2. I wish I had found out the cure for my itching.
3. I wish I had tasted a woman
4. I wish I hadn't reacted badly to bad news. When my father told me of the non-existence of Santa I burnt down his shed with his car and wolf in it.
5. I wish I was more open about my liking of Nazi memorabilia.

Does anyone have a regret?

Thats the thing we think we have choices in life but really we dont, we are not in control at all. As soon as we are born we are conditioned and then our conditioning makes the choices for us.

[Olly]

I hope not Sligonian. If this turns out to be the real Truman show I'm going to be mightily pissed off when I find the way out.

[ballinaman]

I wish i was a little bit taller,
I wish i was a baller,
I wish i had a girl who looked good,
I would call her,
I wish i had a rabbit in a hat with a bat,
And a six foot lmpala

[Milltown Row2]

If I were to die tomorrow I'd have these regrets.

Not taking the chance of a job a few years back, offered to me on a plate and I thought I wasn't experienced enough at the time!!

Making the same mistake last week when a friend offered to triple my wages in 3 years WTF!! Sales job not my scene

Not picking myself for the All Ireland hurling final, and dealt with the shame of it after I stayed on for the whole match 

Agreeing with my mate in leaving off our star player in Senior hurling semi final against Loughgiel a few years ago, he came on after 20 minutes and nearly won the match FFS

Opting out of buying a house 21 years ago when I had chance, I'd have had it nearly paid off by now.

In general though I'm a happy man. Couple of things i would like to do yet and providing I don't croak it soon I should get the chance, I hope

[southdown]

Id imagine a lot of people have regrets over women, money and sport etc -  I know I have.

There are lots of ifs and buts when you think of things over the years but Im yet to meet somebody who has no regrets.

I do agree sincerely with what was said about good health, its something a lot of us take for granted.

As a wise poster on here once said, "life is a ticket to the greatest show in earth."  You can only do your best.

[Shamrock Shore]

Refusing the free ticket to see The Beatles in The Adelphi in Dublin in 1963
Calling Seamus Darby a "pushing hoor" in a pub in Tullamoe in 1984
Trying the auld auto-afixiation in the same hotel room as Michael Hutchence, just for the craic. Later I realised it was probably disrespectful
Not paying a parking ticket on time, and having to pay €20 extra
Turning down a part in 'Far and Away' with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman as a stupid looking gom in the corner of a pub

[The Iceman]

Thats the thing we think we have choices in life but really we dont, we are not in control at all. As soon as we are born we are conditioned and then our conditioning makes the choices for us.

Our conditioning and where we are born or what we are born into does not define us. If it did, the majority of the most successful people of our generation would not be where they are, or achieved what they have.

[seafoid]

Thats the thing we think we have choices in life but really we dont, we are not in control at all. As soon as we are born we are conditioned and then our conditioning makes the choices for us.

Our conditioning and where we are born or what we are born into does not define us. If it did, the majority of the most successful people of our generation would not be where they are, or achieved what they have.

if you had been born in Saudi Arabia do you think you would have become a Christian? 

[The Iceman]

Thats the thing we think we have choices in life but really we dont, we are not in control at all. As soon as we are born we are conditioned and then our conditioning makes the choices for us.

Our conditioning and where we are born or what we are born into does not define us. If it did, the majority of the most successful people of our generation would not be where they are, or achieved what they have.

if you had been born in Saudi Arabia do you think you would have become a Christian?

Every conversation does not need to turn into a religion debate.

My point still stands. If what Sligonian says is true then people like me and you could never be successful. And I don't subscribe to that.

[Maguire01]

Every conversation does not need to turn into a religion debate.

Especially when it poses tricky questions.

[Olly]

Trying the auld auto-afixiation in the same hotel room as Michael Hutchence, just for the craic. Later I realised it was probably disrespectful

Fair play to you for your courage in bringing that up. I tried it in a B&B in Lusk but it was such an inglorious setting that I pulled out.

[The Iceman]

Thats the thing we think we have choices in life but really we dont, we are not in control at all. As soon as we are born we are conditioned and then our conditioning makes the choices for us.

Our conditioning and where we are born or what we are born into does not define us. If it did, the majority of the most successful people of our generation would not be where they are, or achieved what they have.

if you had been born in Saudi Arabia do you think you would have become a Christian?

Maguire, in fairness you're a bit of a wee bitch at times.

The answer to the question is I don't know. And neither do you.

[Maguire01]

Maguire, in fairness you're a bit of a wee bitch at times.

How very un-Christian of you.

The answer to the question is I don't know. And neither do you.

Although on the balance of probability, you could have a good guess.