Irishness equation

[muppet]

Mylestheslasher suggested this on a possibly deleted thread. Here is my first attempt but feel free to add or to expand some of the component part of it.

[(P⌃2)*♭) + [(∃⌃-1)*(✞)*(∫)] + [G]
--------------------------------------------  = Gael co-efficient
        [(⦿-∁)*(⩉*♆/ ☘ )]

P - Place of Birth - (if born in Ireland - longitude to the nearest degree/ if born elsewhere of Irish parents - 20)
♭ - begrudgery level (*see below)
∃ - hatred of England (**see below)
✞ - visits to mass per month (self explanatory if you can count - if not you are Welsh)
∫ - number of rebels songs known (precise knowledge not necessary - ability to roar chorus while drunk sufficient)
G - vocabulary as Gaeilge (up to a maximum of 200 focail)
⦿ - times MOTD watched per annum (x2 if watched while wearing an EPL jersey)
∁ - number of Celtic jerseys bought in lifetime (zero if worn while protesting)
⩉ - number of rugby matches watched per annum (1 - if you believe that all Irish rugby players are only any good because they played Gaa when they were young)
♆- Love of Royalty co-efficient (1000 if you keep a picture of the Queen - 1 if you don't know her name and interpolate for everything in between)
☘ - Paddy's Day activity (100 for marching in parade - 25 for watching it - 200 for sitting in the pub all day)

* b-   if nobody does any work except you +100
         if everyone is paid too much except you + 100
         if no one deserves anything except you + 100
         if corruption is a crime for everyone except for you + 100
         if everyone should say sorry except you + 100
         if it is all someone's fault except you + 100
         if champions only win because they are lucky + 100
         
* ∃-   if you protested + 100
         if you didn't protest but wanted to + 20
         if you didn't want to but hoped someone else would + 1000
         if you didn't want to and hoped no one would - 100
         if you protested and turned up at CityWest a week early instead of the Garden of remembrance + 500
         if you weren't arsed and went to the pub + 10000

[mylestheslasher]

An interesting take on my original equation. I think you are missing a variable for ability to sing anthems. A true Irish man can sing amhran na bhfiann. A 50% weighting should be given to those who mime the words and then roar tge last 2 lines. A weight of minus 50% to those who sing irelands call.

[Milltown Row2]

Was it pulled? did the MODS pull the thread?

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

Was it pulled? did the MODS pull the thread?

Ya I was wondering, I'm guessing someone said something about me. Or maybe I'm being paranoid.

[lawnseed]

real irish people have some relation who fought in the GPO... cant understand how the boys got beat there must have been thousands in there

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

real irish people have some relation who fought in the GPO... cant understand how the boys got beat there must have been thousands in there

Millions.

[muppet]

An interesting take on my original equation. I think you are missing a variable for ability to sing anthems. A true Irish man can sing amhran na bhfiann. A 50% weighting should be given to those who mime the words and then roar tge last 2 lines. A weight of minus 50% to those who sing irelands call.

Feck it I meant to put something in about Ireland's call.

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

An interesting take on my original equation. I think you are missing a variable for ability to sing anthems. A true Irish man can sing amhran na bhfiann. A 50% weighting should be given to those who mime the words and then roar tge last 2 lines. A weight of minus 50% to those who sing irelands call.

Feck it I meant to put something in about Ireland's call.

or "take it down from the mast"

[andoireabu]

Was it pulled? did the MODS pull the thread?

Wasn't pulled, I got rid of it because it didn't seem that good an idea in the light of morning and couldn't have caused annoyance.  Should be a breathalizer on my computer so I can't post when I come in from a night out!!

[Milltown Row2]

Was it pulled? did the MODS pull the thread?

Wasn't pulled, I got rid of it because it didn't seem that good an idea in the light of morning and couldn't have caused annoyance.  Should be a breathalizer on my computer so I can't post when I come in from a night out!!

I liked it, some twats on here bite every time on issues like that

[hsthompson]

I thought it was a decent topic, did somebody act the dick?

[dillinger]

 A true Irish man can sing amhran na bhfiann.lines. A weight of minus 50% to those who sing irelands call.
[/quote]

Of course some Irish men and women can sing God save The Queen. 

[ardal]

Has any body attempted the equation yet?

Really fecked off.

Thought about it for a while, then discovered that I'm Lizzie's secret love child and a blatant Fenian hating, rangers supporting, sweet charity loving, tosser.

Remember the theme tune to M.A.S.H.

[mylestheslasher]

A true Irish man can sing amhran na bhfiann.lines. A weight of minus 50% to those who sing irelands call.

Of course some Irish men and women can sing God save The Queen. 
[/quote]

We don't have a powerful enough pc to churn out the results of the equation if you put in crazy data like that

[michaelg]

As someone from a unionist background, I do consider myself to be Irish.  However, as proven in this thread it seems Ulster Protestants will never be considered to be as "Irish" as their catholic, GAA playing, Irish speaking Celtic supporting neighbours.  If these are the qualifications required to be considered a true Irishman, is it any wonder that unionists are no nearer to being convinced that their futue lies in a UI?