Wayne Rooney- A (Inter)National Disgrace

[Minder]

When you are earning £100k a week you don't need tips to get back in the good books. It will be played out along the lines of Colleen will be spotted wearin sunglasses "to hide her pain", she will then go off to a foreign retreat, the "secret destination" will be known by every red top. Wazza will make a "mercy dash to save his marriage". They will be pictured together with Colleen, but their body language will be construed, by a body language expert, as "strained". They will make their way home and will remain together, and their marriage will be described as "stronger" as a result of Wazzas indiscretions. Colleen will get her own chatshow. Wazza will be spotted taking his kid to the zoo and will be voted "Dad of the year".

[Bogball XV]

In fact how will Pele feel? He can't even get it up, and here is this man, who shares his name, giving it large with loads of ladies.

Poor Edson,

I was wondering about that alright, I heard Paudie on talking about the same problem - d'ya reckon that himself and shane byrne suffer from the same thing?  They must I reckon, presumably it's free treatment if you go on the radio and we all need paudie is a hungry hoor

[Bogball XV]

When you are earning £100k a week you don't need tips to get back in the good books.

When you're other half is earning 100k a week and you've a sprog and maybe two (is she preggers again or did this happen last year, haven't actually read the story), you don't need to worry about ever letting him back into the good books.  A divorce is much easier and at least that way she'll get her paws directly on the money and won't end up destitute if he blows what he has.  She'd get a big payout now and a huge monthly payment for the sprogs, everyone's a winner.

[The Real Laoislad]

At least the whore is 21 this time,he must have gotten over his Granny fetish

[Maiden1]

They should set up one of them England select charity matches (Wayne Rooney alimony fund) with the shaggers vs the non shaggers

David James,jt,rio,cashley,David beckham(c),fat frankie,shrek,crouch could all play for the shaggers

Sol Campbell at the back and stevie g(c) in his favourite position up the middle could play for the non shaggers. They might struggle for names after that though.

[Tony Baloney]

When you are earning £100k a week you don't need tips to get back in the good books. It will be played out along the lines of Colleen will be spotted wearin sunglasses "to hide her pain", she will then go off to a foreign retreat, the "secret destination" will be known by every red top. Wazza will make a "mercy dash to save his marriage". They will be pictured together with Colleen, but their body language will be construed, by a body language expert, as "strained". They will make their way home and will remain together, and their marriage will be described as "stronger" as a result of Wazzas indiscretions. Colleen will get her own chatshow. Wazza will be spotted taking his kid to the zoo and will be voted "Dad of the year".

100% correct. The PR people will follow the established template for this sort of thing. Abi Clancy was on the front of hello or ok saying this would make her and Crouch stronger!

Birds know what they are taking on when they get involved with a Premiership player. Shagging around comes with the territory as long as the Bentleys, handbags and shoes keep rolling in.

[thewobbler]

Maiden1, Stevie G is perhaps the most prolific shagger of all. He's probably the best at gagging papers too though.

[pintsofguinness]

Maiden1, Stevie G is perhaps the most prolific shagger of all. He's probably the best at gagging papers too though.

You beat me to it....

They all deserve each other. Why these boys get married when they have no intention on keeping in the trousers is beyond me - and they women who "forgive" them i.e. can't see past the money, the house, the lifestyle and the cars deserve them. 

[Rocky Mc Guigan]

Lookit- I'm of the old adage that what goes on tour stays on tour- fair play to them all-loads of wonga and plenty of the old jiggy jiggy-if vast majority of us were in their jock straps we would be at the same lark

[pintsofguinness]

Lookit- I'm of the old adage that what goes on tour stays on tour- fair play to them all-loads of wonga and plenty of the old jiggy jiggy-if vast majority of us were in their jock straps we would be at the same lark

Any of us could go out and pay a prostitute to sleep with  us....they'd probably give me a freebie, but the rest of you would have to pay...

[Arthur_Friend]

When you are earning £100k a week you don't need tips to get back in the good books. It will be played out along the lines of Colleen will be spotted wearin sunglasses "to hide her pain", she will then go off to a foreign retreat, the "secret destination" will be known by every red top. Wazza will make a "mercy dash to save his marriage". They will be pictured together with Colleen, but their body language will be construed, by a body language expert, as "strained". They will make their way home and will remain together, and their marriage will be described as "stronger" as a result of Wazzas indiscretions. Colleen will get her own chatshow. Wazza will be spotted taking his kid to the zoo and will be voted "Dad of the year".

You're a very cynical man Minder...

[AZOffaly]

So is this the breaking story (yawn) that was being gagged by a premiership footballer, or is this just one of a few? Stevie G and the mistress/16 year old/babysitter/Dalglish/Whelan/Random other Liverpool Hero daughter/Sister in Law hasn't broken yet 

Nicely played though Norf. I presume you've saved the other thread for reference?

[ONeill]

Paul Scholes I'd imagine is a safe bet for avoiding such headlines. Walcott will need to keep his nose clean as they'll be sniffing after him. In fact, if Walcott has hany sense he'll drop her and just let rip anywhere for the next 20 years without fear of tabloid revelations unless he dabbles in something weird like riding trees or something.

[Rocky Mc Guigan]

Hard to credit all these men with the bearded guru preaching syndrome- must be a Sunday morning

[Minder]

Paul Scholes I'd imagine is a safe bet for avoiding such headlines. Walcott will need to keep his nose clean as they'll be sniffing after him. In fact, if Walcott has hany sense he'll drop her and just let rip anywhere for the next 20 years without fear of tabloid revelations unless he dabbles in something weird like riding trees or something.

Racist, reported.