Top 10 movies quotes of all time

[Mac hinery]

True Grit

    Rooster: I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned, or see you hanged at Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?
    Ned: I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!
    Rooster: Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!

[Bogball XV]

From South Park (it's on at the minute).

Garrison has had a sex change operation, hasn't had a period yet, so reckons he's pregnant, then heads off to the abortion clinic to take care of matters:

Doctor: Mr. Garrison

Garrison: MRS. Garrison

Doctor: Mrs. Garrison you can't have an abortion.

Garrison: Don't you tell me what I can and can't do with my body. A woman has a right to chose!

Doctor: No I mean you're physically unable to have an abortion because you can't get pregnant.

Garrison: But I missed my period.

Doctor: You can't have periods either. You had a sex change Mr. Garrison but you don't have ovaries or a womb, you don't produce eggs.

Garrison: You mean I'll never know what it feels like to have a baby growing inside me and scramble it's brains and vacuum it out?

Doctor: That's right.

Garrison: But I paid $5,000 to be a woman. This would mean I'm not really a woman I'm just a....I'm just a guy with a mutilated penis.

Doctor: Basically, yes.

Garrison: Oh boy do I feel like a jackass.

[Fluffy Che]

         M.A.S.H.

Col. Blake-'Hawkeye Pierce, l have a report from Headquarters that you stole a Jeep!'

Hawkeye-'No Sir! No, not stolen. lts right outside..'


Col. Blake to Radar as they watch Hawkeye drive off..'Did Hawkeye steal that Jeep son?'

Radar-'No Sir. Thats the one he came in.'

[hitzelsperger]

'what are you looking at f**k face' (To a 5 yr old kid) Me Myself and Irene

'stupid is stupid does' forest gump

'im goin out the fuckin front door wey gerry' In the name of the father

[The Real Laoislad]

ADRIAN - ROCKY

[Tyrones own]

  -You can't handle the truth.

- What we've got here is a failure to communicate

[Fishbat]

'What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here. I hired you boys to get some track laid, not jump about like a bunch of Kansas City faggots'
Taggart to Lyle, Blazing Saddles.

'What did you expect? Welcome Sheriff? Marry my daughter? You've got to remember, these are simple folk. The common clay of the new west. You know... morons'
Jim to Sheriff Bart, Blazing Saddles.

Taggart - 'I gottit, I gottit, we'll work up a number 6 on 'em'.
Lamarr - 'A number 6? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one?'.
Taggart - 'That's where we go a-ridin' into town, a-whoppin' and a-whompin' every livin' thing to within an inch of it's life. 'Cept the women folks o'course'.
Lararr - 'You spare the women?'
Taggart - 'Nope, we rape the sh1t outta them at the Number 6 dance afterwards'.
Again, Blazing Saddles. I like Blaxing Saddles

"Never mind that shit....here comes Mongo!"

"the sherriff's a Ni...dong"

'if he calls me big nose one more time i'll take him to the f**king cleaners" "shaddup big nose" "right, thats your last warning" Life of brian - way too many in that film alone

[Fishbat]

Jamie: I wish we had time to bury them fellas.
Josey Wales: To hell with them fellas. Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms.

The Outlaw Josey Wales

then the big clocher of tobacco spit between the eyes!

[Fishbat]

"WAY OUT WEST" 1937

Oliver: Well, fan my brow! I'm from the South!
Mary Roberts: You are?
Stan: Well, shut my mouth! I'm from the South too!
Oliver: The South of what, sir?
Stan: The South of London.

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Ollie: We'll all go down to Dixie. Oh, for a slice of possum and yam. Mm!
Stan: Yes sir, and some good old fish and chips. I can smell 'em.
Ollie: [disgusted] Fish and chips!

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Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: Tell me about my dear, dear Daddy! Is it true that he's dead?
Stan: We hope so, they buried him.

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Oliver: This is another nice mess you've gotten me into!

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Oliver: A lot of weather we've been having lately!

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Oliver: That reminds me, you said that if we didn't get the deed back, you'd eat my hat.
Stan: Oh, now you're taking me illiterally.
Oliver: Nevertheless, I'm going to teach you not to make such rash promises. Eat the hat.
Stan: Whoever heard of anybody eating a hat?
Oliver: Whoever heard of anybody doing *that*.
[making as if to light his thumb like a cigarette lighter]
Oliver: Eat the hat!
Stan: I won't do it.
Oliver: If you don't eat that hat, I'll tie you to a tree and let the buzzards get you!
Stan: Would you do that?
Oliver: I certainly would.

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Stan: That's the first mistake we've made since that fellow sold us the Brooklyn Bridge.
Oliver: Buying that bridge was no mistake. That's going to be worth a lot of money to us some day.

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Sheriff: There's one thing in this here town we don't allow! And that's messing with our women. Now if you want to stay healthy, you'll catch the next coach out of town.
Oliver: Yes, sir.
Sheriff: And if you miss the next coach,
[draws revolver]
Sheriff: you'll be riding out of here in a hearse.
[Walks away]
Stan: Goodbye.
Oliver: Let well enough alone.

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Patron: Hey Finn, you're a lucky man to have a swell gal like that.
Mickey Finn: Yeah I... What are you talking about? She's the lucky one to have a swell guy like me!

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Lola Marcel: Tell, me, what did he die of?
Stan: I think he died of a Tuesday, or was it a Wednesday?

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Stan: Do you mind if I have another idea?
Ollie: If it's anything like the last one, yes.

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Stan: Now that you've got the mine, I'll bet you'll be a swell gold-digger.

[THE MIGHTY QUINN]

Marx Brothers - A Night at the Opera

Groucho: "That's in every contract, that's what you call a sanity clause."
Chico: "You can't a fool a me there ain't no sanity clause"

[belleaqua]

The Blues Brothers:

Elwood Blues: Its 106 miles to Chicago, we gotta full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, its dark and we're wearing sunglasses...

Jake Blues: Hit it!

[Aerlik]

"A True Romance"

"Looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down"

(Also has my favourite film title music ever)

[armaghniac]

That's not a knife, THIS is a knife - Crocodile Dundee

[heganboy]

That's not a knife, THIS is a knife - Crocodile Dundee

That bar used to be my local...

[ziggysego]

Clerks.

Randal: So they build another Death Star, right?

Dante: Yeah.

Randal: Now the first one they built was completed and fully operational before the Rebels destroyed it.

Dante: Luke blew it up. Give credit where it's due.

Randal:And the second one was still being built when they blew it up.

Dante: Compliments of Lando Calrissian.

Randal: Something just never sat right with me the second time they destroyed it. I could never put my finger on it-something just wasn't right.

Dante: And you figured it out?

Randal: Well, the thing is, the first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army-storm troopers, dignitaries- the only people onboard were Imperials.

Dante: Basically.

Randal: So when they blew it up, no prob. Evil is punished.

Dante: And the second time around...?

Randal: The second time around, it wasn't even finished yet. They were still under construction.

Dante: So?

Randal: A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.

Dante: Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.

Randal: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.

Dante: All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?

Randal: All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed- casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. (notices Dante's confusion) All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia-this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living. (The Blue-Collar Man (Thomas Burke) joins them.)

Blue-Collar Man: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but what were you talking about?

Randal: The ending of Return of the Jedi.

Dante: My friend is trying to convince me that any contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the space station was destroyed by the rebels.

Blue-Collar Man: Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer... (digs into pocket and produces business card) Dunn and Reddy Home Improvements. And speaking as a roofer, I can say that a roofer's personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.

Randal: Like when?

Blue-Collar Man: Three months ago I was offered a job up in the hills. A beautiful house with tons of property. It was a simple reshingling job, but I was told that if it was finished within a day, my price would be doubled. Then I realized whose house it was.

Dante: Whose house was it?

Blue-Collar Man: Dominick Bambino's.

Randal: "Babyface" Bambino? The gangster? Blue-Collar Man: The same. The money was right, but the risk was too big. I knew who he was, and based on that, I passed the job on to a friend of mine.

Dante: Based on personal politics.

Blue-Collar Man: Right. And that week, the Foresci family put a hit on Babyface's house. My friend was shot and killed. He wasn't even finished shingling.

Randal: No way!

Blue-Collar Man: (paying for coffee) I'm alive because I knew there were risks involved taking on that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky. (pauses to reflect) You know, any contractor willing to work on that Death Star knew the risks. If they were killed, it was their own fault. A roofer listens to this... (taps his heart) not his wallet.