Depression

[STREET FIGHTER]

That is the one thing I've learned about my own battles, I'm not alone. There is at least 20 other people I know with the same issues. Debt, work struggles but one thing I've taught myself is that we need to talk to somebody. You can't replace human connection. We can listen to all the self help podcasts and all these life coaches who have the answers but in my mind, get out and speak to somebody face to face if you can.

My first session of counselling was a nightmare but it was so good at the same time. From I walked in the door until I came out a cried and hardly spoke 30 words, but I felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted. Honestly, it was the biggest relief I ever had and that was 25 years ago. I've been through the mill since that but I've learned to talk again. I went to that place of being a strong man who didn't talk and that's a complete load of balls, nothing wrong with showing emotion and chatting. Keep the circle small and tight and you where you are. I would go to counselling for at least 3months every year since 2001 and it's tough but it's saved my life no doubt.

My DMs are always open for anybody who needs a chat.

Sorry for the long post but I'm just trying to help lol.

Your obviously a good lad PaddyJohn...thanks and great work keeping this thread alive....

[paddyjohn]

That is the one thing I've learned about my own battles, I'm not alone. There is at least 20 other people I know with the same issues. Debt, work struggles but one thing I've taught myself is that we need to talk to somebody. You can't replace human connection. We can listen to all the self help podcasts and all these life coaches who have the answers but in my mind, get out and speak to somebody face to face if you can.

My first session of counselling was a nightmare but it was so good at the same time. From I walked in the door until I came out a cried and hardly spoke 30 words, but I felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted. Honestly, it was the biggest relief I ever had and that was 25 years ago. I've been through the mill since that but I've learned to talk again. I went to that place of being a strong man who didn't talk and that's a complete load of balls, nothing wrong with showing emotion and chatting. Keep the circle small and tight and you where you are. I would go to counselling for at least 3months every year since 2001 and it's tough but it's saved my life no doubt.

My DMs are always open for anybody who needs a chat.

Sorry for the long post but I'm just trying to help lol.

Your obviously a good lad PaddyJohn...thanks and great work keeping this thread alive....

Appreciate that pal. I can get on my soap box for a bit but it's needed.

I've lost 3 close friends to suicide and it's shite.

We'll get there together. One step at a time.

[bannside]

Great very honest post PJ. Dont be a stranger Bud...

[paddyjohn]

Great very honest post PJ. Dont be a stranger Bud...

Thanks BS. I'll give you a bell someday - you were the first to reach out when I posted all those years ago.

[square_ball]

Just to echo above about the phones and social media. It's my downfall at the minute. I need to nip it in the bud as I am doomscrolling constantly and it's doing absolutely no good. The smartphone is one of the best and worst inventions of our lifetime!

Also another one that contributes to the mood is shit eating. Again I am guilty of this particularly the last few weeks and can actually see the effect it's having on me. Stressful day at work = raiding the biscuit cupboard.

So that's my plan heading into the autumn/winter. Get the phone and social media usage right down and get back to healthy eating.

[paddyjohn]

Just to echo above about the phones and social media. It's my downfall at the minute. I need to nip it in the bud as I am doomscrolling constantly and it's doing absolutely no good. The smartphone is one of the best and worst inventions of our lifetime!

Also another one that contributes to the mood is shit eating. Again I am guilty of this particularly the last few weeks and can actually see the effect it's having on me. Stressful day at work = raiding the biscuit cupboard.

So that's my plan heading into the autumn/winter. Get the phone and social media usage right down and get back to healthy eating.

Again, I don't have the answers and I can only talk about what works for me. I've been down that road also as the waistline proves!! 

Chinese on a Saturday and we've stopped buying chocolate apart from a Sunday.

Diet contributes more than we think to our mental health. When I lose a few pounds then I do feel more positive about myself and everything else. 

[Milltown Row2]

It's also ok to take medication, it really helps to dampen the thoughts, obviously a lot depends on the dosage but taking the edge off things can help..

Also its ok to tell staff to work through things more, management or leads is a tough job with the staff coming at you, personally I couldn't do it as I'm not sure how many times I could say f**k off before they get rid of me

[paddyjohn]

I did take the medication for a while but i scared it was becoming a crutch for me. I came off it pretty quickly.

[Would ye whist]

Still here for now and thank you all for your interaction.

Trying to find my way out of this hole, really can't shake it, I have a great life, my ultimate job, beautiful wife, unbelievable children, great house, car and a watch collection I could never have dreamed off as a working class boy...................need to give my head a wobble

[Milltown Row2]

If material things made us feel better then we'd easily find a solution to our ills, unfortunately depression doest care if you are rich famous or just hard working..

Giving your head a wobble is what people think should happen but unfortunately again that won't solve it!

Keep talking! Stay active and involved, feel needed

[Fiodoir Ard Mhacha]

My tuppence worth is damn all, I'm sorry to say, but I did give up the booze in May '23 after 32 years and, while the black dog 🐕 of depression comes sniffing around the odd time, I can control it slightly more effectively now I'm sober.

[toby47]

Still here for now and thank you all for your interaction.

Trying to find my way out of this hole, really can't shake it, I have a great life, my ultimate job, beautiful wife, unbelievable children, great house, car and a watch collection I could never have dreamed off as a working class boy...................need to give my head a wobble

Agree with MR2. Staying active helps massively, do you exercise? If you do could you set yourself a goal? Also keep talking, talk to friends or family. You may think they don't want to hear or find it hard, but i've had friends in similar places and some would say talking saved their lives.

[Derry Haiku]

Not sure what is up, however, finding things really bloody tough right now, have a mood I cannot lift at all. I have spoken to the wife about it but have played it down to her as she will only worry. I am not a man for opening up at all and I am used being the wise one (steady) and the strong one for the wife and children. Main breadwinner and work is so much pressure right now, hopefully I shake it soon and hoping even typing it on here will help.

Hello there, woman here, look remember marriage is a partnership don't feel you have to take it all on yourself. Don't worry about making your wife worry, she's aware you're not yourself, don't downplay it, you'll both feel better for it.
Close to someone who suffers from depression and there's no shame in going to the doctor, it made such a difference in our situation. Depression can happen to anyone regardless of wealth and lifestyle, sounds so cliched but your health really is your wealth, don't ever think because you have x, y and z you should be happy.

[Eamonnca1]

You might think you're keeping it from your wife, but women know stuff about us that even we don't know. She might get more upset with you if you try to keep it a secret, so try to talk to her about it. It's a good bet she already knows something's up.

[Eamonnca1]

Heard a good one the other day. Sleep in a different room from your smartphone. Get a cheap old-fashioned alarm clock. I've started doing it and it's improved the quality of my sleep. There's no urge to look at the phone when I know it's beyond reach.

The thing about phones is they keep our attention even when we're not looking at them.

I periodically go in and review my notification settings so I'm getting as few of them as possible.

Living in Silicon Valley you're in the culture of "tech=good" and it can be easy to forget the harm it does. On our recent visit to Amsterdam we noticed a different vibe. Posters and stickers all over the place reminding us to turn off the brain-rot, and to hell with the soul-killing algorithm.

I think I'm with the Dutch on this one.