I'm getting married later in the year and we're attending a pre-wedding course which is being ran by accord. It's ran over Friday evening and Saturday.
What can I expect at this? I understand the topics are co-ordinated by lay-people.
Expect to be bored to tears and have nosey bastards prying into your private life, it's the biggest load of horseshite and you can refuse to do it.
Some pearls of wisdom I got - if you are arguing, go for a long walk, never raise your voice, never go to bed not speaking, oh and breed like mad, no contraception allowed! Plus you will be split into groups and have some knob who just want to hear his own voice.
Your marriage didn't last did it though
Happily married - didn't or don't need some nosey halfwit prying into my private life - but if you like that sort of thing, whatever floats your boat.
The one I was booked on got cancelled a couple of days before it was supposed to run so we got to do it online. Handy enough and ticked the box. Bit annoying having to do it at all though. Guides you through things like living together and family stuff even though we had lived together a couple of years and had talked about children etc. I'm sure some people take a lot from it but it seemed a money making thing to me
Pretend your adults and dont do it.
My mother used to facilitate the classes. Wouldn't call her a nosey halfwit.
The course I went to in Ardmore in Derry was fine - pace was a bit slow, could have been done in half the time. No priests in attendance, nothing about contraception apart from guiding you to the right place where you could find out about natural family planning, no mass, it was more about communication, dealing with problems, consideration of the other person etc. Really did not get the feeling that anyone was ramming anything down my throat. My non-mass-going other half was pleasantly surprised.
Nice couple running it (they weren't married to each other).
All you need is a bit of stiffness and it will guide itself.
Didn't do one. The priest that married us said we didn't have to so that was good enough for me.
They are a load of nonsense from what I've heard anyway.
We just got talking about this last night & it seems to be booked up locally into July. We're getting married in September & don't really want it taking up a weekend of our Summer :-\
Quote from: No wides on February 05, 2016, 12:05:43 PM
Expect to be bored to tears and have nosey b**tards prying into your private life, it's the biggest load of horseshite and you can refuse to do it.
Tell me more... do you
have to do it? Our priest never mentioned anything about it but we've just presumed we have to do it as all our married friends did it...
Would people here who have done it say it was worthwhile & there're glad they did it?
Quote from: WeeDonns on February 05, 2016, 01:42:36 PM
We just got talking about this last night & it seems to be booked up locally into July. We're getting married in September & don't really want it taking up a weekend of our Summer :-\
Quote from: No wides on February 05, 2016, 12:05:43 PM
Expect to be bored to tears and have nosey b**tards prying into your private life, it's the biggest load of horseshite and you can refuse to do it.
Tell me more... do you have to do it? Our priest never mentioned anything about it but we've just presumed we have to do it as all our married friends did it...
Would people here who have done it say it was worthwhile & there're glad they did it?
15 years ago I had to do it yes, but I think you can now refuse, I seriously doubt anyone got anything from it, though there was a lovely welcomed mass at the end!!!!
I did the pre-marriage course many many years ago.
My advice is to skip the pre-marriage course, skip the marriage, skip the kids and go straight to having grandchildren.
Biggest load of shite going. 30 years behind the times.
What do you as a couple fall out about? Ok here's a flip chart with another 50 possible areas in case you hadn't thought of them.
Advice- given -in the middle of a blazing row, take each other's hand, look into each other's eyes and say an Our Father together - I kid you not
My advice would be to anyone, if they can avoid it, do so. 10 hours of your life you can never get back again. Cringeworthy!
Quote from: Orior on February 05, 2016, 02:23:40 PM
I did the pre-marriage course many many years ago.
My advice is to skip the pre-marriage source, skip the marriage, skip the kids and go straight to having grandchildren.
It does sound like a load of tripe if that's what you learned on it.
Quote from: Bensars on February 05, 2016, 02:30:28 PM
Biggest load of shite going. 30 years behind the times.
What do you as a couple fall out about? Ok here's a flip chart with another 50 possible areas in case you hadn't thought of them.
Advice- given -in the middle of a blazing row, take each other's hand, look into each other's eyes and say an Our Father together - I kid you not
My advice would be to anyone, if they can avoid it, do so. 10 hours of your life you can never get back again. Cringeworthy!
Sums it up nicely :D
It's somewhere in the middle really between pleasant and boring.
It's pretty much bull but it doesn't do any harm and the people are nice enough at it. We did an evening then an all day Saturday. It was too long I'm pretty sure it could be knocked out in 3 hours really.
It's part of the process. Go do a civil ceremony if you don't want to do it.
So many just want the church wedding for the photos. Hypocrites.
I didn't know so many of you were all from the same parish as mb80b60 and can talk about your shared experiences of the pre marriage course there.
As foxcommander says it is part of the process - if you want married in the church then go through with it....there's always the town hall
I found our course as Rois said a little slow paced but enjoyable nonetheless. We were faced with some questions we maybe hadn't considered about finances, in-laws, boundaries etc.
I don't think too many people have an easy first year as a married couple - whatever help and support you can get going in to it should be welcomed.
Quote from: foxcommander on February 05, 2016, 03:19:44 PM
It's part of the process. Go do a civil ceremony if you don't want to do it.
So many just want the church wedding for the photos. Hypocrites.
And why not the church itself are a bunch of hypocrites.
Quote from: foxcommander on February 05, 2016, 03:19:44 PM
It's part of the process. Go do a civil ceremony if you don't want to do it.
So many just want the church wedding for the photos. Hypocrites.
Its part of a process that's complete and utter scutter, a huge waste of time, jobs for the boys type scenario. I got married in a church because religion is important to my wife and I. The marriage course given by a couple of f@cktards on the payroll was cringeworthy, I don't like getting lectured by people like this.
Confession is part of the church's process who goes to that on a regular basis - their are a lot of Hypocrites.about.
Quote from: foxcommander on February 05, 2016, 03:19:44 PM
It's part of the process. Go do a civil ceremony if you don't want to do it.
So many just want the church wedding for the photos. Hypocrites.
Bloody right foxcommander, nothing as bad as Á la Carte Catholics, picking and choosing what they do and don't do!
thankfully none of the staunch catholics on here participate on bearing false witness and having sex outside the sanctity of marriage, especially when in Meath!
Quote from: The Iceman on February 05, 2016, 03:31:19 PM
I didn't know so many of you were all from the same parish as mb80b60 and can talk about your shared experiences of the pre marriage course there.
As foxcommander says it is part of the process - if you want married in the church then go through with it....there's always the town hall
I found our course as Rois said a little slow paced but enjoyable nonetheless. We were faced with some questions we maybe hadn't considered about finances, in-laws, boundaries etc.
I don't think too many people have an easy first year as a married couple - whatever help and support you can get going in to it should be welcomed.
If you are relying on help from a pre marriage course you are in dire straights!
Quote from: johnneycool on February 05, 2016, 03:35:02 PM
Quote from: foxcommander on February 05, 2016, 03:19:44 PM
It's part of the process. Go do a civil ceremony if you don't want to do it.
So many just want the church wedding for the photos. Hypocrites.
Bloody right foxcommander, nothing as bad as Á la Carte Catholics, picking and choosing what they do and don't do!
thankfully none of the staunch catholics on here participate on bearing false witness and having sex outside the sanctity of marriage, especially when in Meath!
:D
Quote from: johnneycool on February 05, 2016, 03:35:02 PM
thankfully none of the staunch catholics on here participate on bearing false witness and having sex outside the sanctity of marriage, especially when in Meath!
I think we should have an FAQ on the site to explain this to the newbies.
It would be a short FAQ. No matter the question, the answer is Fearon.
Quote from: Rudi on February 05, 2016, 03:32:05 PM
Quote from: foxcommander on February 05, 2016, 03:19:44 PM
It's part of the process. Go do a civil ceremony if you don't want to do it.
So many just want the church wedding for the photos. Hypocrites.
Its part of a process that's complete and utter scutter, a huge waste of time, jobs for the boys type scenario. I got married in a church because religion is important to my wife and I. The marriage course given by a couple of f@cktards on the payroll was cringeworthy, I don't like getting lectured by people like this.
I don't know how's this a jobs for the boys? Sounds like you were unlucky with the presenters.
If you don't like the way your local priest delivers his sermons do you call him a f@cktard too and dismiss him?
Quote from: No wides on February 05, 2016, 03:37:14 PM
Quote from: The Iceman on February 05, 2016, 03:31:19 PM
I didn't know so many of you were all from the same parish as mb80b60 and can talk about your shared experiences of the pre marriage course there.
As foxcommander says it is part of the process - if you want married in the church then go through with it....there's always the town hall
I found our course as Rois said a little slow paced but enjoyable nonetheless. We were faced with some questions we maybe hadn't considered about finances, in-laws, boundaries etc.
I don't think too many people have an easy first year as a married couple - whatever help and support you can get going in to it should be welcomed.
If you are relying on help from a pre marriage course you are in dire straights!
So the 21 year old sweethearts have it all figured out?
Maybe you already have all the answers but how often do you get the opportunity to listen to other couples openly talking that aren't your friends and family.
Personally I thought it was good enough craic....
Only had to do a 9.00 - 4.00 shift.....
The bit were you had to assess your other half in terms of how well you knew each other was particularly interesting!
She was surprised at some of my answers to say the least!
Married 6years ago, Didn't do the course and were put under no pressure by the PP to do the course. Listening to friends who got married around the same time I really don't think I missed anything by not attending.
not going near a church for marriage
bunch of hypocrites, don't believe a word of the bull they pedal
Quote from: foxcommander on February 05, 2016, 04:10:41 PM
Quote from: No wides on February 05, 2016, 03:37:14 PM
Quote from: The Iceman on February 05, 2016, 03:31:19 PM
I didn't know so many of you were all from the same parish as mb80b60 and can talk about your shared experiences of the pre marriage course there.
As foxcommander says it is part of the process - if you want married in the church then go through with it....there's always the town hall
I found our course as Rois said a little slow paced but enjoyable nonetheless. We were faced with some questions we maybe hadn't considered about finances, in-laws, boundaries etc.
I don't think too many people have an easy first year as a married couple - whatever help and support you can get going in to it should be welcomed.
If you are relying on help from a pre marriage course you are in dire straights!
So the 21 year old sweethearts have it all figured out?
Maybe you already have all the answers but how often do you get the opportunity to listen to other couples openly talking that aren't your friends and family.
I'd rather not, and one of the ones lecturing us wasn't even married.
Quote from: foxcommander on February 05, 2016, 04:07:22 PM
Quote from: Rudi on February 05, 2016, 03:32:05 PM
Quote from: foxcommander on February 05, 2016, 03:19:44 PM
It's part of the process. Go do a civil ceremony if you don't want to do it.
So many just want the church wedding for the photos. Hypocrites.
Its part of a process that's complete and utter scutter, a huge waste of time, jobs for the boys type scenario. I got married in a church because religion is important to my wife and I. The marriage course given by a couple of f@cktards on the payroll was cringeworthy, I don't like getting lectured by people like this.
I don't know how's this a jobs for the boys? Sounds like you were unlucky with the presenters.
If you don't like the way your local priest delivers his sermons do you call him a f@cktard too and dismiss him?
Very lucky with priests over the years, could not say a bad word about any i was in contact with. The lay people involved in this course were a different story. Too answer your question no one is above being dismissed even a priest.
Good man for starting this. Mine is next weekend. Totally forgot about it!
I thought it was entertaining, plenty of interaction with the other attendees and left us with a few things to think about. It was easy going and a bit of craic, no shove it down your throat stuff going on. The course was run by two married woman who spoke alot from their won experiences, a priest was in and out at various points and he said mass at the end but never really intruded in the course material, which was grand as it covered for the Sunday!
Praying during an argument was mentioned I admit, but it was also mentioned while having sex....by the feckin priest! Which we all had a good laugh about I think it was meant to be tongue in cheek / a way of seeing the bigger picture when involved in silly arguments.
Myself and herself lived together before so we had alot of what they covered already figured out but it was still interesting to hear it none the less. It also informed us of the rhythm method of contraception which was very informative I learned a few things from that, it was by no means told this is what you should be doing for contraception.
All in all I dont think it was intrusive at all and certainly much less so than the "pop psychology" a good many many women read in magazines and online about their relationships and how they should go.
I avoided doing one (16 years ago) as the priest who was due to take it was on the cusp of being brought to book for his Paedo activities.
I'd be of the opinion that they are a load of bollix myself.
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 06:45:22 PM
I avoided doing one (16 years ago) as the priest who was due to take it was on the cusp of being brought to book for his Paedo activities.
I'd be of the opinion that they are a load of bollix myself.
Hmm... no experience but a strong negative opinion.... ???
Quote from: foxcommander on February 05, 2016, 03:19:44 PM
It's part of the process. Go do a civil ceremony if you don't want to do it.
So many just want the church wedding for the photos. Hypocrites.
That is a fair point.
Quote from: omaghjoe on February 05, 2016, 06:55:39 PM
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 06:45:22 PM
I avoided doing one (16 years ago) as the priest who was due to take it was on the cusp of being brought to book for his Paedo activities.
I'd be of the opinion that they are a load of bollix myself.
Hmm... no experience but a strong negative opinion.... ???
Hmmmm....A convicted Paedophile priest didn't get to lecture me on the potential pitfalls of marriage. Apart from being a paedophile, i'm guessing he'd no experience of marriage either ???
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 06:45:22 PM
I avoided doing one (16 years ago) as the priest who was due to take it was on the cusp of being brought to book for his Paedo activities.
I'd be of the opinion that they are a load of bollix myself.
Haven't done one then...
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 07:47:03 PM
Quote from: omaghjoe on February 05, 2016, 06:55:39 PM
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 06:45:22 PM
I avoided doing one (16 years ago) as the priest who was due to take it was on the cusp of being brought to book for his Paedo activities.
I'd be of the opinion that they are a load of bollix myself.
Hmm... no experience but a strong negative opinion.... ???
Hmmmm....A convicted Paedophile priest didn't get to lecture me on the potential pitfalls of marriage. Apart from being a paedophile, i'm guessing he'd no experience of marriage either ???
No priest was anywhere near my course
3rd post...the OP was interested in hearing from people who'd done the course, as opposed to
people who know what they'd think if they had done it (but didn't).
Quote from: Estimator on February 05, 2016, 04:23:25 PM
Married 6years ago, Didn't do the course and were put under no pressure by the PP to do the course. Listening to friends who got married around the same time I really don't think I missed anything by not attending.
You or anyone else that didn't do this course are couples that didn't give money away for nothing. Be thankful for that.
Apologies for relaying my non misty eyed experience. I still hold the opinion, as do a few other posters on this thread, that it's nonsense, but each to their own.
Load of nonsense, just like going to 'faith friends ' before confirmation
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 11:01:44 PM
Apologies for relaying my non misty eyed experience. I still hold the opinion, as do a few other posters on this thread, that it's nonsense, but each to their own.
Well sure as long as others on the gaaboard validate your opinions on something you haven't done then you must be right...
Maybe I'm picking on you a bit but the anti-everything related to the Catholic Church on this board is so tiresome and this is a prime example.
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 07:47:03 PM
Quote from: omaghjoe on February 05, 2016, 06:55:39 PM
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 06:45:22 PM
I avoided doing one (16 years ago) as the priest who was due to take it was on the cusp of being brought to book for his Paedo activities.
I'd be of the opinion that they are a load of bollix myself.
Hmm... no experience but a strong negative opinion.... ???
Hmmmm....A convicted Paedophile priest didn't get to lecture me on the potential pitfalls of marriage. Apart from being a paedophile, i'm guessing he'd no experience of marriage either ???
Think Rois has covered it adequately, but...
I wasnt talking about the priest, I was talking about your experience (which appears to be zilch), in forming your opinion.
I did this. I approached it with cynicism and wasn't disappointed. Unless you didn't know the person you were marrying, i'm not sure what you'd take from it.
A priest arrived on the second session and started singing about "God's love" to the tune of the Flintstones. I still cringe thinking about it.
Fucktard is a cool word, I will put it in my dictionary for future use.
I did this bull before I got married, it was compulsory. One priest and two holy joes. The priest I can handle, sure he knows feck all about women and riding but he's just doing his job. It's the holy joes that annoyed me. How arrogant are people to think I want their advice on marriage, riding or how to resolve conflict.
Quote from: omaghjoe on February 05, 2016, 11:19:48 PM
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 07:47:03 PM
Quote from: omaghjoe on February 05, 2016, 06:55:39 PM
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 06:45:22 PM
I avoided doing one (16 years ago) as the priest who was due to take it was on the cusp of being brought to book for his Paedo activities.
I'd be of the opinion that they are a load of bollix myself.
Hmm... no experience but a strong negative opinion.... ???
Hmmmm....A convicted Paedophile priest didn't get to lecture me on the potential pitfalls of marriage. Apart from being a paedophile, i'm guessing he'd no experience of marriage either ???
Think Rois has covered it adequately, but...
I wasnt talking about the priest, I was talking about your experience (which appears to be zilch), in forming your opinion.
I relayed my opinion that was formed by my experience, I had chated about the content of the course with clergy, i spoke to others who had taken the course, the way events unfolded I didn't have to take the course. Think i'm quite entitled to my opinion & I only really posted as I thought it was an interesting anecdote.
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 11:51:27 PM
Quote from: omaghjoe on February 05, 2016, 11:19:48 PM
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 07:47:03 PM
Quote from: omaghjoe on February 05, 2016, 06:55:39 PM
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 06:45:22 PM
I avoided doing one (16 years ago) as the priest who was due to take it was on the cusp of being brought to book for his Paedo activities.
I'd be of the opinion that they are a load of bollix myself.
Hmm... no experience but a strong negative opinion.... ???
Hmmmm....A convicted Paedophile priest didn't get to lecture me on the potential pitfalls of marriage. Apart from being a paedophile, i'm guessing he'd no experience of marriage either ???
Think Rois has covered it adequately, but...
I wasnt talking about the priest, I was talking about your experience (which appears to be zilch), in forming your opinion.
I relayed my opinion that was formed by my experience, I had chated about the content of the course with clergy, i spoke to others who had taken the course, the way events unfolded I didn't have to take the course. Think i'm quite entitled to my opinion & I only really posted as I thought it was an interesting anecdote.
Don't let them take away your right to free speech Benny!
Quote from: Itchy on February 05, 2016, 11:44:48 PM
Fucktard is a cool word, I will put it in my dictionary for future use.
I did this bull before I got married, it was compulsory. One priest and two holy joes. The priest I can handle, sure he knows feck all about women and riding but he's just doing his job. It's the holy joes that annoyed me. How arrogant are people to think I want their advice on marriage, riding or how to resolve conflict.
That sums it up for me, I am not anti church and like Rois hate all the sentiments against it, but I like this post. An accurate summation of the pre-marriage course.
Anyone do a post marriage course?
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 11:51:27 PM
Quote from: omaghjoe on February 05, 2016, 11:19:48 PM
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 07:47:03 PM
Quote from: omaghjoe on February 05, 2016, 06:55:39 PM
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 06:45:22 PM
I avoided doing one (16 years ago) as the priest who was due to take it was on the cusp of being brought to book for his Paedo activities.
I'd be of the opinion that they are a load of bollix myself.
Hmm... no experience but a strong negative opinion.... ???
Hmmmm....A convicted Paedophile priest didn't get to lecture me on the potential pitfalls of marriage. Apart from being a paedophile, i'm guessing he'd no experience of marriage either ???
Think Rois has covered it adequately, but...
I wasnt talking about the priest, I was talking about your experience (which appears to be zilch), in forming your opinion.
I relayed my opinion that was formed by my experience, I had chated about the content of the course with clergy, i spoke to others who had taken the course, the way events unfolded I didn't have to take the course. Think i'm quite entitled to my opinion & I only really posted as I thought it was an interesting anecdote.
Benny, your anecdote was unrelated to the formation your opinion, at least logic would dictate that. If it was related then your reasoning would appear to go something like this..."The priest was a pedophile and he couldn't take the course, therefore these courses are a load of boliox". It does not follow.
But your right your entitled to your opinion however its formed, just as I am allowed to point out you have no first hand experience to base that opinion on.
Quote from: Rois on February 05, 2016, 10:19:18 PM
3rd post...the OP was interested in hearing from people who'd done the course, as opposed to
people who know what they'd think if they had done it (but didn't).
I did it and have the exact same opinion of benny who didn't do it. Maybe the fact that your mother did your's is blinding you as to how bollix it all was.
Quote from: Rois on February 05, 2016, 11:11:18 PM
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 11:01:44 PM
Apologies for relaying my non misty eyed experience. I still hold the opinion, as do a few other posters on this thread, that it's nonsense, but each to their own.
Well sure as long as others on the gaaboard validate your opinions on something you haven't done then you must be right...
Maybe I'm picking on you a bit but the anti-everything related to the Catholic Church on this board is so tiresome and this is a prime example.
As is those who jump to the defence of such a corrupt organisation, anyone who think the catholic church has anything to do with god need a reality check.
Quote from: No wides on February 06, 2016, 09:05:45 AM
Quote from: Rois on February 05, 2016, 10:19:18 PM
3rd post...the OP was interested in hearing from people who'd done the course, as opposed to
people who know what they'd think if they had done it (but didn't).
I did it and have the exact same opinion of benny who didn't do it. Maybe the fact that your mother did your's is blinding you as to how bollix it all was.
Dear God man, my mother didn't take my pre marriage course! You might want to read posts properly before inferring that my opinion is clouded. It really detracts from any sort of argument you're trying to present.
The hysteria here about it is so out of proportion. The "holy joes" aren't bad people, they are volunteering their time for something they believe in and were likely asked to do. It's fine that posters didn't enjoy it or get anything from it. It didn't change my life either either, but it really isn't that bad.
Ok No wides. Go ahead. Give us a reality check. Good man.
Quote from: Rois on February 05, 2016, 11:11:18 PM
Quote from: bennydorano on February 05, 2016, 11:01:44 PM
Apologies for relaying my non misty eyed experience. I still hold the opinion, as do a few other posters on this thread, that it's nonsense, but each to their own.
Well sure as long as others on the gaaboard validate your opinions on something you haven't done then you must be right...
Maybe I'm picking on you a bit but the anti-everything related to the Catholic Church on this board is so tiresome and this is a prime example.
Ffs, please don't fall for that balls. Iceman and Tony already have a big enough persecution complex without others developing the same.
My own memory, from long ago in a universe far far away, is of being there under severe duress and leaving after thirty minutes of the first of a scheduled five sessions, having confirmed my opinion that if you could learn anything from this bullshite you were not equipped to be married anyway. I remember the straw that mutilated this camel's vertebrae - "life is a lot like a cake..."
Quote from: Hardy on February 06, 2016, 12:38:34 PM
My own memory, from long ago in a universe far far away, is of being there under severe duress and leaving after thirty minutes of the first of a scheduled five sessions, having confirmed my opinion that if you could learn anything from this bullshite you were not equipped to be married anyway. I remember the straw that mutilated this camel's vertebrae - "life is a lot like a cake..."
run forrest run!
Quote from: Rois on February 06, 2016, 10:12:36 AM
Quote from: No wides on February 06, 2016, 09:05:45 AM
Quote from: Rois on February 05, 2016, 10:19:18 PM
3rd post...the OP was interested in hearing from people who'd done the course, as opposed to
people who know what they'd think if they had done it (but didn't).
I did it and have the exact same opinion of benny who didn't do it. Maybe the fact that your mother did your's is blinding you as to how bollix it all was.
Dear God man, my mother didn't take my pre marriage course! You might want to read posts properly before inferring that my opinion is clouded. It really detracts from any sort of argument you're trying to present.
The hysteria here about it is so out of proportion. The "holy joes" aren't bad people, they are volunteering their time for something they believe in and were likely asked to do. It's fine that posters didn't enjoy it or get anything from it. It didn't change my life either either, but it really isn't that bad.
OK maybe the fact that your mother was involved is blinding you from seeing how bollocks it was. :) It is a complete and utter waste of anyone's time.
Did the course and thought it was grand. Was worried that it was gonna be circle time for adults but it was mostly spent chatting to your partner while going through the book. Taken by a man and woman who were both married 20 yrs plus though not to each other and they were very honest and lovely. No mass. Priest just popped in on the Saturday at the end to wish everyone well in their married life. Quite a few of the couples there already had children/were living together so i think they said something like contraception is up to yourselves-no lectures about what to do.
Now 2 years on and have to do one before the baby gets Christened. Not sure what it involves though?
No wides 1 catholic church 0 ;D
Quote from: maggie on February 06, 2016, 04:27:49 PM
Did the course and thought it was grand. Was worried that it was gonna be circle time for adults but it was mostly spent chatting to your partner while going through the book. Taken by a man and woman who were both married 20 yrs plus though not to each other and they were very honest and lovely. No mass. Priest just popped in on the Saturday at the end to wish everyone well in their married life. Quite a few of the couples there already had children/were living together so i think they said something like contraception is up to yourselves-no lectures about what to do.
Now 2 years on and have to do one before the baby gets Christened. Not sure what it involves though?
Was at my nieces christening last night, some married man from Portadown took it, a deacon or something, my brother and his wife went to this, a slide show about the sacrament with 4 holy rollers and said deacon, they were asked to explain why they choose the babies name, ffs its going be like confirmation now you need a saints name and a three page essay to choose your childs name. All in all sounded like another load of balls.
I wonder what the success rate is, how many have taken the course and are still married :o
So you stopped being a nosey p***k when you weren't getting the answers you wanted.
Quote from: Milltown Row2 on February 07, 2016, 02:56:21 PM
I wonder what the success rate is, how many have taken the course and are still married :o
Why would it matter, it's house rules to do it!!!!
I did mine in a place called Dungannon (I kid you nat, tho the locals say "dun" then "gannon" and not "dung" and '"annon")
There were 4 couples, one of the couples were in their 70s. To cut a long story short, the priest talked so much about sex that things started getting hot and heavy and before long the whole lot of us were stripped off and ridin all around the room. It was worthwhile because we found out so much about ourselves. I didn't know my partner was into 70-year old men and I found myself partial to the same sex. The sea of bare arses will never leave me and the priest watchin it and shakin his head and then he started singin ne'er my god to thee in on the ukulele and people buckin like mad all over the room and him crying. There were sandwiches and tea after.
I'm getting married later in the year and we're attending a pre-wedding course which is being ran by accord. It's ran over Friday evening and Saturday.
What can I expect at this? I understand the topics are co-ordinated by lay-people.
The accord course I attended was a Friday evening and Saturday morning(about 4 years ago). There were two lay-people(one was a German lady and one a local councillor) running the course. TBH, I was sort of dreading the whole thing. I was expecting a whole load of embarrassing questions and a bit of a borefest. It wasn't that bad and looking back on it(shock horror) there were a few useful things gained from the experience.
The course is arranged in a folder with a number of topics to be covered(spread over the 2 sessions). The whole thing was very laid back and there weren't any really awkward moments and the lay-people weren't lecturing us. More often than not a topic was raised and you and your partner discussed it between yourselves. Sometimes people were arranged in groups to discuss something. My understanding is that it is up to the priest marrying you as to whether the course is needed or not. The main annoyance for people seems to be the cost and I suppose this should be looked at if it is a barrier to people taking the course(a good idea would be to let people voluntarily donate).
Looking back on it I can see the rationale for it. It's a very important sacrament in the Catholic Church and I can see the logic in running a course that might help people understand what they are going to undertake(even if it did feel stupid/awkward at the time.
Quote from: grounded on February 07, 2016, 10:41:07 PM
I'm getting married later in the year and we're attending a pre-wedding course which is being ran by accord. It's ran over Friday evening and Saturday.
What can I expect at this? I understand the topics are co-ordinated by lay-people.
The accord course I attended was a Friday evening and Saturday morning(about 4 years ago). There were two lay-people(one was a German lady and one a local councillor) running the course. TBH, I was sort of dreading the whole thing. I was expecting a whole load of embarrassing questions and a bit of a borefest. It wasn't that bad and looking back on it(shock horror) there were a few useful things gained from the experience.
The course is arranged in a folder with a number of topics to be covered(spread over the 2 sessions). The whole thing was very laid back and there weren't any really awkward moments and the lay-people weren't lecturing us. More often than not a topic was raised and you and your partner discussed it between yourselves. Sometimes people were arranged in groups to discuss something. My understanding is that it is up to the priest marrying you as to whether the course is needed or not. The main annoyance for people seems to be the cost and I suppose this should be looked at if it is a barrier to people taking the course(a good idea would be to let people voluntarily donate).
Looking back on it I can see the rationale for it. It's a very important sacrament in the Catholic Church and I can see the logic in running a course that might help people understand what they are going to undertake(even if it did feel stupid/awkward at the time.
away out of here you with your 'answering questions', your 'sticking to the topic' and your 'reasonableness'
Go on, shoo!
Out of curiosity, how much do these things cost?!
Quote from: gallsman on February 08, 2016, 08:28:01 AM
Out of curiosity, how much do these things cost?!
£125. Booked ours last night
Quote from: WeeDonns on February 08, 2016, 09:11:23 AM
Quote from: gallsman on February 08, 2016, 08:28:01 AM
Out of curiosity, how much do these things cost?!
£125. Booked ours last night
wow....
i hope this thing is optional, wouldn't that solve everything, anyone who wants to do it or believes it will help can do it, anyone who doesn't want to do it doesn't have to.
sounds pretty outdated to me considering the majority of people getting married have already been living together for years and a fair few would have kids already....
i certainly wont be handing over that kind of money to someone else to tell me how to be a husband!! ::)
Quote from: finbar o tool on February 08, 2016, 10:58:59 AM
Quote from: WeeDonns on February 08, 2016, 09:11:23 AM
Quote from: gallsman on February 08, 2016, 08:28:01 AM
Out of curiosity, how much do these things cost?!
£125. Booked ours last night
wow....
i hope this thing is optional, wouldn't that solve everything, anyone who wants to do it or believes it will help can do it, anyone who doesn't want to do it doesn't have to.
sounds pretty outdated to me considering the majority of people getting married have already been living together for years and a fair few would have kids already....
i certainly wont be handing over that kind of money to someone else to tell me how to be a husband!! ::)
If you're living in sin and have children out of wedlock you're going straight to hell anyway, I'd hardly be worrying about an Accord course or getting married in a church..
Bloody Á la Carte Catholics.
While the delivery of these courses may vary in quality, getting married is pretty important and long term and a few hours thinking about it is probably wise.
Quote from: armaghniac on February 08, 2016, 11:22:54 AM
While the delivery of these courses may vary in quality, getting married is pretty important and long term and a few hours thinking about it is probably wise.
you either love someone or you dont....
£125, therapy would be cheaper! ;D
Quote from: armaghniac on February 08, 2016, 11:22:54 AM
While the delivery of these courses may vary in quality, getting married is pretty important and long term and a few hours thinking about it is probably wise.
Why can't you not think about it on your own just in the presence of God, and 125 quid richer?
Quote from: No wides on February 08, 2016, 12:58:59 PM
Quote from: armaghniac on February 08, 2016, 11:22:54 AM
While the delivery of these courses may vary in quality, getting married is pretty important and long term and a few hours thinking about it is probably wise.
Why can't you not think about it on your own just in the presence of God, and 125 quid richer?
Because he acts in mysterious ways (slide your £125 in the envelope like a good lad)
Quote from: No wides on February 08, 2016, 12:58:59 PM
Quote from: armaghniac on February 08, 2016, 11:22:54 AM
While the delivery of these courses may vary in quality, getting married is pretty important and long term and a few hours thinking about it is probably wise.
Why can't you not think about it on your own just in the presence of God, and 125 quid richer?
People have been getting married for a very long time, it seems likely that some useful approaches have emerged in this period, notwithstanding your ability to outthink the entire history of marriage with your own analysis.
Quote from: armaghniac on February 08, 2016, 01:21:39 PM
Quote from: No wides on February 08, 2016, 12:58:59 PM
Quote from: armaghniac on February 08, 2016, 11:22:54 AM
While the delivery of these courses may vary in quality, getting married is pretty important and long term and a few hours thinking about it is probably wise.
Why can't you not think about it on your own just in the presence of God, and 125 quid richer?
People have been getting married for a very long time, it seems likely that some useful approaches have emerged in this period, notwithstanding your ability to outthink the entire history of marriage with your own analysis.
What utter shite so my ability to think about marriage is inadequate but sliding 125 quid to a few holy rollers will make me better equipped, it is this condescending approach that the catholic church and followers like yourself purport that renders it all horse shite. I have yet to see anyone attempt to answer this?
Quote from: Milltown Row2 on February 07, 2016, 02:56:21 PM
I wonder what the success rate is, how many have taken the course and are still married :o
Quote from: No wides on February 08, 2016, 01:31:58 PM
What utter shite so my ability to think about marriage is inadequate but sliding 125 quid to a few holy rollers will make me better equipped, it is this condescending approach that the catholic church and followers like yourself purport that renders it all horse shite. I have yet to see anyone attempt to answer this?
I have no doubt that the people organising this course have a more mature understanding of Catholic marriage than you have.
15 years since I did mine.
I would absolutely have gotten out of it if I could. Priest said he'd recommend we do the course, but that it was up to ourselves. Herself took that as meaning we had to go!
I'm glad we did.
Ours was Accord in Dublin. I'd liken it to marriage guidance, before you need it. So preventative rather than reactive - which when you think about it is much more beneficial for a whole heap of reasons.
Nothing earth shattering, but a lot of little nuggets that you might not have thought of, or thought as important.
I don't remember any of it being religious, other than a short 5 minute good luck type speech from a priest towards the end.
Just thinking about it, a refresher course every 10 or 15 years would be no bad idea either. Some gentle reminders to lose some bad habits before a serious fallout happens!
Mine was also very memorable for an unbelieveable story from one of the participants. It was the first day of the 2 day course, and there was one girl there who was on her own (the fiance did turn up on the 2nd day). She said her fella and her father got into a big fight during the engagement party, and her fella bit off her dad's ear. Literally! They couldn't sow it back on, so now he has, in her words, "a bionic ear". Marriage was still going ahead but she was worried the dad mightn't turn up to give her away!
Quote from: armaghniac on February 08, 2016, 01:44:49 PM
Quote from: No wides on February 08, 2016, 01:31:58 PM
What utter shite so my ability to think about marriage is inadequate but sliding 125 quid to a few holy rollers will make me better equipped, it is this condescending approach that the catholic church and followers like yourself purport that renders it all horse shite. I have yet to see anyone attempt to answer this?
I have no doubt that the people organising this course have a more mature understanding of Catholic marriage than you have.
And I like many on here and many I have spoken to have no doubt that it was complete horse shite.
Quote from: Hound on February 08, 2016, 01:52:20 PM
15 years since I did mine.
I would absolutely have gotten out of it if I could. Priest said he'd recommend we do the course, but that it was up to ourselves. Herself took that as meaning we had to go!
I'm glad we did.
Ours was Accord in Dublin. I'd liken it to marriage guidance, before you need it. So preventative rather than reactive - which when you think about it is much more beneficial for a whole heap of reasons.
Nothing earth shattering, but a lot of little nuggets that you might not have thought of, or thought as important.
I don't remember any of it being religious, other than a short 5 minute good luck type speech from a priest towards the end.
Just thinking about it, a refresher course every 10 or 15 years would be no bad idea either. Some gentle reminders to lose some bad habits before a serious fallout happens!
Mine was also very memorable for an unbelieveable story from one of the participants. It was the first day of the 2 day course, and there was one girl there who was on her own (the fiance did turn up on the 2nd day). She said her fella and her father got into a big fight during the engagement party, and her fella bit off her dad's ear. Literally! They couldn't sow it back on, so now he has, in her words, "a bionic ear". Marriage was still going ahead but she was worried the dad mightn't turn up to give her away!
cool story but i wouldnt pay money for it.....
But 15 years down the line you could think of it and it would really help your marriage.
I'm 16 years married and still getting it wrong!! Anyone who gets it right is lying!!
Quote from: No wides on February 08, 2016, 03:12:43 PM
But 15 years down the line you could think of it and it would really help your marriage.
You're against it beause its something to do with the catholic church, rather than whether it is actually useful or useless.
Ignoring any religious aspect, which I would tend to anway, I found it worthwhile. That was just my opinion
And also think couples 15 years marred going on a marriage guidance course ("whether they need it or not") would also be useful - although its not something I'd bring up out of the blue!
it wouldn't do any harm to have driving test again despite driving for 20 years and the same might be said for a marriage course.
From my experience of the course, if you learnt something new, then you really hadn't thought marriage through in the first place.
Quote from: armaghniac on February 08, 2016, 11:22:54 AM
While the delivery of these courses may vary in quality, getting married is pretty important and long term and a few hours thinking about it is probably wise.
Again, who actually gets married - in a Church in particular, where you can't just pop in and get married - without taking a few hours to "think about it"?
Quote from: Maguire01 on February 08, 2016, 06:05:55 PM
From my experience of the course, if you learnt something new, then you really hadn't thought marriage through in the first place.
How big is your sample?
Quote from: armaghniac on February 08, 2016, 06:25:54 PM
Quote from: Maguire01 on February 08, 2016, 06:05:55 PM
From my experience of the course, if you learnt something new, then you really hadn't thought marriage through in the first place.
How big is your sample?
Read the first 3 words of my post. I wasn't implying a detailed academic study.
If i'm allowed a further comment - I think the course is probably suitable for teenagers, people who've lead sheltered lives and the obliging faithful.
Quote from: bennydorano on February 08, 2016, 06:57:13 PM
If i'm allowed a further comment
Just this once.
Quote- I think the course is probably suitable for teenagers, people who've lead sheltered lives and the obliging faithful.
It probably isn't something where one size necessarily fits all.
Quote from: bennydorano on February 08, 2016, 06:57:13 PM
If i'm allowed a further comment - I think the course is probably suitable for teenagers, people who've lead sheltered lives and the obliging faithful.
Excellent post!
Quote from: armaghniac on February 08, 2016, 06:25:54 PM
Quote from: Maguire01 on February 08, 2016, 06:05:55 PM
From my experience of the course, if you learnt something new, then you really hadn't thought marriage through in the first place.
How big is your sample?
I'll give you 10 out of 10 for brass neckness, where's your evidence that people did benefit, you still have ignored miltowns post.
Quote from: No wides on February 08, 2016, 09:22:38 PM
I'll give you 10 out of 10 for brass neckness
Quotewhere's your evidence that people did benefit,
I stated that marriage had been around a long time and that people were likely to benefit from advice from those who went before.
Quoteyou still have ignored miltowns post.
I often ignore Milltown's posts. However, in this case I couldn't possibly comment on the conduct of his marriage. ::)
Quote from: armaghniac on February 08, 2016, 10:20:53 PM
Quote from: No wides on February 08, 2016, 09:22:38 PM
I'll give you 10 out of 10 for brass neckness
Quotewhere's your evidence that people did benefit,
I stated that marriage had been around a long time and that people were likely to benefit from advice from those who went before.
Quoteyou still have ignored miltowns post.
I often ignore Milltown's posts. However, in this case I couldn't possibly comment on the conduct of his marriage. ::)
Can I quote the poster boy of Catholicism on this board - Yawn!
Quote from: armaghniac on February 08, 2016, 10:20:53 PM
Quote from: No wides on February 08, 2016, 09:22:38 PM
I'll give you 10 out of 10 for brass neckness
Quotewhere's your evidence that people did benefit,
I stated that marriage had been around a long time and that people were likely to benefit from advice from those who went before.
Quoteyou still have ignored miltowns post.
I often ignore Milltown's posts. However, in this case I couldn't possibly comment on the conduct of his marriage. ::)
Any divorcees here??
I didn't do a course but we did talk to the priest before the wedding. It was practical and insightful.
Marriage needs patience .
Quote from: seafoid on February 09, 2016, 07:54:42 AM
I didn't do a course but we did talk to the priest before the wedding. It was practical and insightful.
Marriage needs patience .
What did you talk to him about, where to put the flowers altar, how much you slip him after the wedding? He hardly give marriage advice according to armaghniac that can only be given by holy rollers who have been married?
We did ours about 2.5 years ago. The priest told us he wouldn't marry us without it, so hadn't much choice.
I found it completely outdated TBH.
It was maybe more relevant 20/30 years ago when people where getting married much younger, but I would say the majority of the people in the room where late 20s -mid 30s and where already living together anyway.
Of topic a little(don't shoot me), but is it only the Catholic Church that requires a pre-marriage course?
Just looking at the Church of Ireland site there http://ireland.anglican.org/information/210
7. What about marriage preparation?
It is advisable that as much notice as possible should be given to the minister of the parish to allow sufficient time for adequate pastoral preparation before marriage. Marriage preparation is strongly recommended and is provided by most dioceses. In some, experienced marriage counsellors provide a one–to–one marriage preparation session with the couple. In others, marriage preparation is provided in a group setting. There are also special courses for inter–church couples. It is essential, especially in inter–church marriages, to discuss in good time all the implications of marriage with each other and with the clergy.
I assume most other faiths have similar courses/classes whether there is a fee or not I don't know.
Quote from: grounded on February 09, 2016, 02:24:56 PM
It is essential, especially in inter–church marriages, to discuss in good time all the implications of marriage with each other and with the clergy.
There was no mention of any requirement to do a pre-marriage course when I got married, from either side of the fence. I mentioned to the priest who was the co-celebrant and he said I had just missed the one in his parish for that year and not to worry about it.
I think it would have been nice to have done it, if only to meet other couples and have a powwow about our hopes and fears. Would I have paid the equivalent of €125 for it? I doubt it, although given I didn't mind having to fork out £60 for the privilege of the vicar of the parish we lived in - not, please note, the one we got married in - to announce in church that we were free to marry, I might have done.
Quote from: grounded on February 09, 2016, 02:24:56 PM
Of topic a little(don't shoot me), but is it only the Catholic Church that requires a pre-marriage course?
I assume most other faiths have similar courses/classes whether there is a fee or not I don't know.
Presbyterians definitely have the courses over a number of weeks - my colleague takes the budgeting/financial session for his "church".
Quote from: Rois on February 09, 2016, 03:35:20 PM
Quote from: grounded on February 09, 2016, 02:24:56 PM
Of topic a little(don't shoot me), but is it only the Catholic Church that requires a pre-marriage course?
I assume most other faiths have similar courses/classes whether there is a fee or not I don't know.
Presbyterians definitely have the courses over a number of weeks - my colleague takes the budgeting/financial session for his "church".
Any special modules for keeping your land / money out of Catholic hands? :P
Presbyterian church in our town put up a big white board at the back of the church every year with the names of who contributed the most money. Highest first and work your way down. Every church goers name is on it
Quote from: redzone on February 09, 2016, 05:10:58 PM
Presbyterian church in our town put up a big white board at the back of the church every year with the names of who contributed the most money. Highest first and work your way down. Every church goers name is on it
The were doing that in my (Catholic) parish up home until a few years ago at least (maybe still for all I know). Not a whiteboard - priest read out all donations for Easter Dues.
Quote from: Rois on February 09, 2016, 03:35:20 PM
Quote from: grounded on February 09, 2016, 02:24:56 PM
Of topic a little(don't shoot me), but is it only the Catholic Church that requires a pre-marriage course?
I assume most other faiths have similar courses/classes whether there is a fee or not I don't know.
Presbyterians definitely have the courses over a number of weeks - my colleague takes the budgeting/financial session for his "church".
I think I have heard of people on something between 4-8 weeks of pre marriage courses in the presbyterian church. GFees imagine what a free P would have to do!!
Once our priest read out a spiritual accountancy of our parish. It was the most he was ever listened to!
Must say it wasn't as bad as a lot on here were making it out to be.
I admit I thought that it would take them ages to go through everything in the book. However, they only did bits and pieces of it. The 3 facilitators were very nice and seemed to be more Joe Soaps than Holy Joes. We got our marriage candles because we did it on Valentines Weekend.
Just letting the OP know how mine was.
We did this on Friday/Saturday. It wasn't that bad and I suppose did no harm to get us thinking about some topics.
The two ladies that took it were very nice and were happy to talk about modern family make ups and openly criticized how the Church had viewed some subjects in the past.
We felt they didn't dwell on some topics for too long as they didn't want a debate, which suited us as they rushed through it on the Saturday and had us out after 3pm. It could have all been done on 1 day without all the Tea & lunch breaks.