Shit did I just say that

dundrumite · February 14, 2010, 12:18:18 PM

Not sure if there is a similar thread on the board. However, coming home from the Down game was reminded about a night out last easter.

Bunch of the lads were out on for night on the tiles one easter, when we bumped into another fella we used to knock about with and his cuddly girlfriend( to put it nicely). One lad in particular who was very drunk and myself got chatting to the other lads' woman. With conversation drying and having heard some time ago the happy couple were expecting a baby, my friend thought it would be a great topic of conversation. So brings up the topic with the query " so you must be near ready to pop" to the response " No I had it two months ago." Literally didn't know where to look.

As said not sure if there is a similar thread but would good to hear such similar "foot in mouth" incidents.

pintsofguinness · February 14, 2010, 12:32:20 PM

A fella I know runs a business and someone he works closely with had a baby and he had flowers sent.
He met her about two months later and had completely forgot about the baby and the flowers and says to her "the baby must be near due now" and she says "I had it about two months ago, you sent flowers".

Eejit.

gallsman · February 14, 2010, 12:35:25 PM

Chatting to a pissed out of his mind Asian-American lad in Berlin who looked as if he was about to pass out I asked him if he was alright. Said he was fine and asked me what had made me ask and I told him his eyes had "looked funny."

Mortifying.

mournerambler · February 14, 2010, 03:24:19 PM

http://listverse.com/2007/09/11/top-15-quotes-of-prince-philip/

As Roy Walker often said "say what you see", never far from controversy with some of his gags the Philly fella always "said what he was thinking".

longrunsthefox · February 14, 2010, 05:02:23 PM

Tell me about it $:-\$ I was at having dinner with Mrs Fox and the cubs one day, and said to her, 'I hate you- you've ruined my life you stupid bitch,' when I meant say, 'Pass the salt please' eek!

mylestheslasher · February 14, 2010, 09:37:12 PM

My missus brought our young lassie to the doctor a month ago. Young Lassie is 2 1/2. She is playing away at toys in the waiting lounge and in comes this large black woman. Now, we never copped it till then, but our young lassie never seen a black person before. She runs away from the toys as the black woman sat beside them. So the missus says to the wee one, would you not say hello to the nice woman and what does she reply "I don't like them people" What do you say to that!

Master Yoda · February 15, 2010, 09:29:21 AM

Quote from: mylestheslasher on February 14, 2010, 09:37:12 PM
My missus brought our young lassie to the doctor a month ago. Young Lassie is 2 1/2. She is playing away at toys in the waiting lounge and in comes this large black woman. Now, we never copped it till then, but our young lassie never seen a black person before. She runs away from the toys as the black woman sat beside them. So the missus says to the wee one, would you not say hello to the nice woman and what does she reply "I don't like them people" What do you say to that!

Thats class, I'd say your missus took some beamer.

Billys Boots · February 15, 2010, 10:09:48 AM

My missus once asked a woman in a shop when she was due, to which she received the reply 'I'm not pregnant dear, I've stomach cancer!'.

supersub · February 15, 2010, 12:32:36 PM

Kind of the other way about this one...

Cousin teaches young ones drama and one of the wee girls came in yesterday and they were talking about valentine's day, asking did either get anything etc, and the wee girl (about 7) says to my cousin, my dad got my mum a big card and chocolates it was so nice, but mum didnt get dad anything, but its ok because she said she would give him his desert later!

Class

magpie seanie · February 15, 2010, 12:54:48 PM

Quote from: longrunsthefox on February 14, 2010, 05:02:23 PM
Tell me about it $:-\$ I was at having dinner with Mrs Fox and the cubs one day, and said to her, 'I hate you- you've ruined my life you stupid bitch,' when I meant say, 'Pass the salt please' eek!

Its not quite as funny without the first part of the joke.

Doogie Browser · February 15, 2010, 12:59:08 PM

Was at a wake one time for a friends elderly mother and I am always nervous at wakes anyway, however I was walking in and said to my mate 'sorry about your father' and he said to me 'fcuk don't tell me my da is dead too what a week for us', Irish humour I suppose!

ziggysego · February 15, 2010, 01:08:06 PM

I had to get my photo taken a girl from South West College a few years ago. A rather woman, that I assumed was pregnant. However I didn't say anything, as I've been wrong so many times in the past.

At the end of the photo section, I was just asking does she like her work. She did and was sorry to be leaving due to maternity leave. Ha-ah, she was pregnant and I could comment. "Congratulations, I was think you were pregnant. Not long now?"

She threw a look at me and replied "I was doing maternity cover!"

Damn it!

fitzroyalty · February 15, 2010, 03:01:46 PM

Lmao Ziggy!

illdecide · February 15, 2010, 04:03:35 PM

Lads this one is not one bit funny but it is a "Shit did i say that"

I was only 16 (many years ago) and it was the craze around Lurgan when someone was annoying you to say to them "away and play on the lines" (railway lines) or "away and play on the M1" (motorway) so this guy was really doing my head in and of course i shouted at him "away and play on the lines ya bastid" only to realise seconds after that the poor guy's sister committed suicide on the railway lines months before that...that was the last time i ever came out with that

mayogodhelpus@gmail.com · February 15, 2010, 04:09:44 PM

To an old friend I haven't seen in a while. "So hows You ould lady, still looking as fine as ever" [used to be a bit of a joke, coz her ould-lady was a milf and she had made a joke about her that backfired a few years ago]

To which she replied "She died [My Name], thanks for the Mass card by the was"