Shit did I just say that

[gallsman]

Lads this one is not one bit funny but it is a "Shit did i say that"

I was only 16 (many years ago) and it was the craze around Lurgan when someone was annoying you to say to them "away and play on the lines" (railway lines) or "away and play on the M1" (motorway) so this guy was really doing my head in and of course i shouted at him "away and play on the lines ya bastid" only to realise seconds after that the poor guy's sister committed suicide on the railway lines months before that...that was the last time i ever came out with that

Christ, that's just bad luck. I'd say you'd have loved a big whole to open up in front of you.

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

Ended up sitting on a train right across from one of my best mates new girlfriend. We did not get on to say it lightly. Both of us said hi and progressed to burying our heads in our mobile phones pretending to by engrossed in our texting. I texted my mate "across the table on the train from your super bitch of a girlfriend", a few minutes later she looks down at her phone and starts laughing, I get a text about 30 seconds later from my mate/her boyfriend "that knob eejit friend of yours up dancing on the tables in Flannerys after the Tyrone match is on the train, stuck beside him  , fck sake" To which I laughed too realising what he had just done, he had forwarded on our texts from us to him to one-another. After that I offered to buy a few beers for the trip in the train-canteen. Have got on great ever since.

[JohnDenver]

Ended up sitting on a train right across from one of my best mates new girlfriend. We did not get on to say it lightly. Both of us said hi and progressed to burying our heads in our mobile phones pretending to by engrossed in our texting. I texted my mate "across the table on the train from your super bitch of a girlfriend", a few minutes later she looks down at her phone and starts laughing, I get a text about 30 seconds later from my mate/her boyfriend "that knob eejit friend of yours up dancing on the tables in Flannerys after the Tyrone match is on the train, stuck beside him  , fck sake" To which I laughed too realising what he had just done, he had forwarded on our texts from us to him to one-another. After that I offered to buy a few beers for the trip in the train-canteen. Have got on great ever since.

did you bull her?

[Celt_Man]

Ended up sitting on a train right across from one of my best mates new girlfriend. We did not get on to say it lightly. Both of us said hi and progressed to burying our heads in our mobile phones pretending to by engrossed in our texting. I texted my mate "across the table on the train from your super bitch of a girlfriend", a few minutes later she looks down at her phone and starts laughing, I get a text about 30 seconds later from my mate/her boyfriend "that knob eejit friend of yours up dancing on the tables in Flannerys after the Tyrone match is on the train, stuck beside him  , fck sake" To which I laughed too realising what he had just done, he had forwarded on our texts from us to him to one-another. After that I offered to buy a few beers for the trip in the train-canteen. Have got on great ever since.

That could have gone a whole lot worse in fairness!!

[Celt_Man]

Prince Philip!!

To an Aborigine in Australia

"Do you still throw spears at each other?"

To a driving instructor in Scotland

"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?"

To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes

"You look like you're ready for bed!"

Fecking hilarious!!   

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

Ended up sitting on a train right across from one of my best mates new girlfriend. We did not get on to say it lightly. Both of us said hi and progressed to burying our heads in our mobile phones pretending to by engrossed in our texting. I texted my mate "across the table on the train from your super bitch of a girlfriend", a few minutes later she looks down at her phone and starts laughing, I get a text about 30 seconds later from my mate/her boyfriend "that knob eejit friend of yours up dancing on the tables in Flannerys after the Tyrone match is on the train, stuck beside him  , fck sake" To which I laughed too realising what he had just done, he had forwarded on our texts from us to him to one-another. After that I offered to buy a few beers for the trip in the train-canteen. Have got on great ever since.

did you bull her?

Jesus no, (she a complete ride by the way), I don't try it on with mates girlfriends/wifes, thats the lowest of the low.

[norabeag]

Ended up sitting on a train right across from one of my best mates new girlfriend. We did not get on to say it lightly. Both of us said hi and progressed to burying our heads in our mobile phones pretending to by engrossed in our texting. I texted my mate "across the table on the train from your super bitch of a girlfriend", a few minutes later she looks down at her phone and starts laughing, I get a text about 30 seconds later from my mate/her boyfriend "that knob eejit friend of yours up dancing on the tables in Flannerys after the Tyrone match is on the train, stuck beside him  , fck sake" To which I laughed too realising what he had just done, he had forwarded on our texts from us to him to one-another. After that I offered to buy a few beers for the trip in the train-canteen. Have got on great ever since.

did you bull her?

Jesus no, (she a complete ride by the way), I don't try it on with mates girlfriends/wifes, thats the lowest of the low.

Not a Chelsea Fan then!!

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

Ended up sitting on a train right across from one of my best mates new girlfriend. We did not get on to say it lightly. Both of us said hi and progressed to burying our heads in our mobile phones pretending to by engrossed in our texting. I texted my mate "across the table on the train from your super bitch of a girlfriend", a few minutes later she looks down at her phone and starts laughing, I get a text about 30 seconds later from my mate/her boyfriend "that knob eejit friend of yours up dancing on the tables in Flannerys after the Tyrone match is on the train, stuck beside him  , fck sake" To which I laughed too realising what he had just done, he had forwarded on our texts from us to him to one-another. After that I offered to buy a few beers for the trip in the train-canteen. Have got on great ever since.

did you bull her?

Jesus no, (she a complete ride by the way), I don't try it on with mates girlfriends/wifes, thats the lowest of the low.

Not a Chelsea Fan then!!

No by the way, could never understand the mentality of it, or people doing the dirt another concept foreign to me.

[illdecide]

Lads this one is not one bit funny but it is a "Shit did i say that"

I was only 16 (many years ago) and it was the craze around Lurgan when someone was annoying you to say to them "away and play on the lines" (railway lines) or "away and play on the M1" (motorway) so this guy was really doing my head in and of course i shouted at him "away and play on the lines ya bastid" only to realise seconds after that the poor guy's sister committed suicide on the railway lines months before that...that was the last time i ever came out with that

Christ, that's just bad luck. I'd say you'd have loved a big whole to open up in front of you.

Big time...one of the worst moments ever

[mournerambler]

Lads this one is not one bit funny but it is a "Shit did i say that"

I was only 16 (many years ago) and it was the craze around Lurgan when someone was annoying you to say to them "away and play on the lines" (railway lines) or "away and play on the M1" (motorway) so this guy was really doing my head in and of course i shouted at him "away and play on the lines ya bastid" only to realise seconds after that the poor guy's sister committed suicide on the railway lines months before that...that was the last time i ever came out with that

Christ, that's just bad luck. I'd say you'd have loved a big whole to open up in front of you.

You perv gallsman 

[haranguerer]

Too many to remember! This is the biggest one though, mightnt tell that well, but just because of the people involved...:

A relative married a prod; it was never any big deal in the family, all the children were brought up catholic etc, and it was never really mentioned.

I used to be friendly with the daughter, but hadnt seen her in years, when I met said relative at a funeral. I asked how [daughters name] was. He proceeded to tell me she was over in Scotland, and going with a lad over there who is, wait for it, hahahaha, a mad rangers supporter.

I didnt find it that funny, and not knowing what to say, in my awkwardness blurted out 'Jaysus, [his wifes name] will love that'. Conversation over. Shit, did I just say that?

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

Going to the 1996 All-Ireland Semi V Kerry. Was bringing my cousin from London (his mum a Mayo women) to the match, as we where going up O'Connell St. he asked why the Kerry supporters where all wearing Tarten caps (the tarten ones with the red hair hanging out). Without thinking I responded that "sure Kerry folk are just like the Scottish, they like nothing more than riding sheep". My cousins dad is Scottish 

[ludermor]

Ended up sitting on a train right across from one of my best mates new girlfriend. We did not get on to say it lightly. Both of us said hi and progressed to burying our heads in our mobile phones pretending to by engrossed in our texting. I texted my mate "across the table on the train from your super bitch of a girlfriend", a few minutes later she looks down at her phone and starts laughing, I get a text about 30 seconds later from my mate/her boyfriend "that knob eejit friend of yours up dancing on the tables in Flannerys after the Tyrone match is on the train, stuck beside him  , fck sake" To which I laughed too realising what he had just done, he had forwarded on our texts from us to him to one-another. After that I offered to buy a few beers for the trip in the train-canteen. Have got on great ever since.

I hope your mate held onto her, she seems to be a judge of character.

[ballinaman]

In the smoking area of Coppers about 2 years ago with my friend and his unbelievable looking cousin chatting away. A another friend of ours comes up obviously going to try to get stuck into my friends cousin. My friend introduces them and the lad goes, "good looks obviously run in the family but what about him (in ref towards my mate) trying to turn on the charm.
To which she goes, actually I was adopted(which she was) and just stared at him....queue the blood leaving my friends face and falling over himself trying to get away. Hilarious.

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

Ended up sitting on a train right across from one of my best mates new girlfriend. We did not get on to say it lightly. Both of us said hi and progressed to burying our heads in our mobile phones pretending to by engrossed in our texting. I texted my mate "across the table on the train from your super bitch of a girlfriend", a few minutes later she looks down at her phone and starts laughing, I get a text about 30 seconds later from my mate/her boyfriend "that knob eejit friend of yours up dancing on the tables in Flannerys after the Tyrone match is on the train, stuck beside him  , fck sake" To which I laughed too realising what he had just done, he had forwarded on our texts from us to him to one-another. After that I offered to buy a few beers for the trip in the train-canteen. Have got on great ever since.

I hope your mate held onto her, she seems to be a judge of character.

Yip they married, get on great with her now.