Best thing heard at a GAA match.

[put-it-up]

At a local club game game in Cavan and the waterman (about 70) from our club was roarin abuse at the ref the whole game. The ref turns around and says, "If you don't be quiet I'll walk home", our fella turns around and say's, "What are you walking for, did you forget the car!!

Thought it was brilliant

[Farrandeelin]

Mayo v Tyrone NFL this year. I was looking for a place to sit. Someone roars from behind 'COME ON FARRANDEELIN!!! UP FARRANDEELIN!!!' I didn't know what to make of it... I thought to myself Jays there's bound to be a few Tyronies from the board here! It was a neighbour of mine who lives in the village as well, but it set my heart racing for a while at least!

[Onion Bag]

Love this thread lads, keep them coming

Now that the  season is getting into swing, the following might be

useful...

GAA Phrases

Bollix: - The Referee

Mighty :- Very good

Hames :- A right shite, e.g. 'He made a hames of that chance'

Timber: - Intimidation of a hurling opponent, e.g. 'Show him some timber'

Lamp :- A good  thump, e.g. 'I swung for the sliotar, missed by 3 feet and lamped the full back'

A Crowd :- A gathering of  people who watch a match and hope for random acts of violence, e.g. Waterford supporters

Schkelp: - To remove living tissue in the absence of surgical procedures,e.g. 'That shite from Tipp took a schkelp outta me leg'

Hatchet Man :- Mountainy type, uses hunter/gatherer instincts

Bullin': - Angry, e.g. 'The centre half was bullin' after I lamped him'

Bull Thick: - Very angry, e.g. 'The centre half was bull thick after I Iamped him again'

Joult: - A push, e.g. 'I  gave him a joult and he has to wear a neck brace for 2 weeks'

The Comm-A-Teee: - Local GAA bullshitters in general

Bushted :- An undefined soreness, e.g. 'Jayz me arm is bushted'

The Bomber :-  Popular name for a fat hairy GAA player

A Hang Sangwidge :- Consumed with 'tay' on the sides of roads after matches in Pairc Ui Chaoimh or Thurles, usually contains half  a pound of butter

Rake: - A great amount of  anything, usually pints of Guinness the night before an important match

Indanamajaysus (in-da-nama-Jaysus): - What was that for referee?

Ya Bollix Ya :- Corner back's formal recognition of a score by his opponent

Leh-It-In-Ta-f**k-Wud-Ya :- Full forwards appeal to a midfielder for a more timely delivery of the pass

Mullocker: - Untidy or awkward player released for matches

Burst The Bollix :- Instructions from the sideline to tackle your man

Row :- Disagreement  involving four or more players

Shamozzle: - Disagreement involving both teams, including goalies, substitutes and  supporters jumping fences

All-Hell-Broke-Loose :- A massive row that continues out in the parking area or dressing room areas, usually resolved by the Gardai ... very popular in Wicklow

[Royalranter]

At the Meath v Kerry all ireland semi last year and one the stewards on Hill 16 started slagging some of the Meath fans because Meath were loosing and not looking like getting back into the match, after a minute or so of slagging the Meath fans, he was met with a reply of around 100 meath fans singing 'where the f*ck are Dublin, selling f*%cking hot dogs, na na na na hey, na na na na, hey'
brilliant, it soon quietened him down!

[RedandGreenSniper]

Might have told this one before but think its a classic.

Hollymount, then the strongest senior club in Mayo, were training in the early 90s. One of their veteran players had a wedding at the weekend, which clashed with a league game. He didn't want to tell the manager this so he said he'd cry off injured. Now, this fella was the type who ligament was a type of flooring, so he asked one of the younger lads what sort of injury should he say he had.

'Tell him its your hamstring, Johnny'.

So JOhnny goes up to the manager. 'Won't be able to play the weekend boss, I'm injured. Its my hamstring'.

'Your hamstring,' replies the manager. 'What happened it'?

'I broke it'.

[Never beat the deeler]

At a match a few years ago, a young fella about 13-14 tryin to be a smartass, generally roaring at the players/ref and getting cheered on by his mates.

When the other team score a free, he shouts out 'Wide as a duck's arse'!

[Mickeys beard]

My mate from Millstreet, Co. Cork says that some oul locals are often heard at hurling matches shouting,"'c'mon ref, 'tis a shixty" in the broadest cork accent.

[mylestheslasher]

At a match a few years ago, a young fella about 13-14 tryin to be a smartass, generally roaring at the players/ref and getting cheered on by his mates.

When the other team score a free, he shouts out 'Wide as a duck's arse'!

That was a common enough saying when I was a lad but havn't heard it in a while.

[omagh_gael]

Not the most appropriate thread for this as it's the worst thing i have ever heard at a GAA match!

In the ulster final 2005 (first game) myself and mates were on hill 16 next to a particularly annoying Armagh women who was a complete ignoramous and continually insulted many Tyrone fans around her who were clapping/cheering the many scores we got that day. Seemed like we were sure of victory when Mc Donnell and Mc Grane conspired against us to snatch an unlikely draw.

This unpleasent woman turned around and roar in my mates (a man with a short fuse) face 'Where's your clapping now!'

Mate roars back at her 'Your Ma's got the clap!'

Cue stunned silence from all those in ear shot and an Armagh woman who wouldn't shut up all game speechless!

[tyronebhoy]

When the other team score a free, he shouts out 'Wide as a duck's arse'!

On a similar vein, a mate always shouted after a wide "that was as far away as my first sh*te"

[T O Hare]

Has anyone that classic story about the junior game were a team had only fifteen players and the manager took a player off saying "ach just come off anyway"?

[Celt_Man]

At a match a few years ago, a young fella about 13-14 tryin to be a smartass, generally roaring at the players/ref and getting cheered on by his mates.

When the other team score a free, he shouts out 'Wide as a duck's arse'!

That was a common enough saying when I was a lad but havn't heard it in a while.

Aye it would be still a common enough saying around home

[Hardy]

When the other team score a free, he shouts out 'Wide as a duck's arse'!

On a similar vein, a mate always shouted after a wide "that was as far away as my first sh*te"

The wit of Oscar Wilde has inspired yet another generation.

[TacadoirArdMhacha]

Not the most appropriate thread for this as it's the worst thing i have ever heard at a GAA match!

In the ulster final 2005 (first game) myself and mates were on hill 16 next to a particularly annoying Armagh women who was a complete ignoramous and continually insulted many Tyrone fans around her who were clapping/cheering the many scores we got that day. Seemed like we were sure of victory when Mc Donnell and Mc Grane conspired against us to snatch an unlikely draw.

This unpleasent woman turned around and roar in my mates (a man with a short fuse) face 'Where's your clapping now!'

Mate roars back at her 'Your Ma's got the clap!'

Cue stunned silence from all those in ear shot and an Armagh woman who wouldn't shut up all game speechless!

So basically your point is that your friend is as ignorant as an ignorant Armagh woman you once came across?

[Ceart agus Cóir]

Despite having 15 players to play an underage match, the manager shows his utmost trust in his players and asks can they play 13aside!