Get behind me in the queue!

saffron sam2 · October 27, 2007, 11:36:30 PM

Was reading today's Irish News effort by 'wry' columnist Newton Emerson. In it, he tells us that Amnesty International have contacted him and asked if he is prepared to be the guinea pig in a Taser gun test. In last week's column he argued that the figures given by Amnesty were wrong and the guns were perfectly safe. Hence the request from Amnesty.

Now to the point of my post. I have email Amnesty and offered my services as the gunman in said test. Any of you who may have had the same idea will unfortunately be behind me in the queue.

How did Coventry do today?

Gaoth Dobhair Abu · October 27, 2007, 11:55:26 PM

I used to know Newton, actually stopped him getting his head kicked in one night - Fcuk if only I knew what he'd become!
Can I have the second shot?

Coventry beat Colchester 1-0.

Windmill abu · October 28, 2007, 12:55:27 AM

What happens when everybody has finished Tasering Newton's B*ll*cks.

Will the PSNI give Amnesty an Amnesty to allow them to hand over the weapon, or in the meantime will they just be wanted

ziggysego · October 28, 2007, 02:30:52 AM

Can I choose the gun?

deiseach · October 28, 2007, 10:00:34 AM

Has Newton agreed to the test?

And is Newton Emerson his real name? I didn't believe it was, but I began to doubt myself when 'Kingsley Curry' entered the public consciousness . . .

Seany · October 28, 2007, 12:45:12 PM

I actually used to like him. Portadown Times was witty, ironic and hard hitting. I think he has about three things to say and he has said them all now. He seems to look at every report that comes out and finds a way to take it apart. His column in the Irish News used to be wry and good, but now it's extremely bad and seems to be written in a hurry.

Another thing. He never ever ever ever has a go at the SDLP. I mean never.

A good satirist shoud aim his sights at everyone and even onthis board, we found good satirical material on them. Their 10 achievements etc.

I don't like him. He is a self serving, self indulgent twat.

Orior · October 28, 2007, 08:20:47 PM

I once met the Newt down at my local paper shop - he was dating a girl in the neighbour and I guess he stayed over for one of those things that kids call sleep-over parties.

Be easy of the Newt. His column may sometimes offend, but as long as it offends both sides then its all right.