Party game

[Hardy]

We invented a new party game last night – rewriting nursery rhymes.

Ring a ring a rosy
A pocket full of posies
Atishoo, Atishoo.
Excuse me.

Four blind mice
Four blind mice
See how they run.
See how they run
They all ran after the farmer's wife
She cut off one's head with a carving knife
Three blind mice

Any more?

Well it was very late. Maybe I'm not sober yet.

[Orior]

Mary had a little bear,
and it was very kind,
and everywhere that Mary went,
you could see her bear behind.

[johnneycool]

Mary had a little lamb,
she kept it in a bucket,
she also had a little dog,
who always tried to f**k it.

[Candyman]

Mary had a bicycle,
she rode it back to front...
And every time the wheel went round,
the spoke went up her c*nt!! 

[Bensars]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
They each had a buck and a  quarter
Jill came down with 2.50
Did they really go for water?

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Poor little Jill forgot her pill
Now they have a daughter



Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb NFBSK!"

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses and all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

Georgie Porgy Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

[Hardy]

Very good lads, but the idea is to make up your own.

Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie
When the pie was opened the birds began to sing
"Is that f***in cook on the bottle again?" roared the fuming king

[Bensars]

Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie
When the pie was opened the birds began to sing
Why didnt you  put the whitebird's  in
Is this a racist thing ?

[rory]

Mary had a little Pig
It was always gruntin'
She tied to a 5 bar gate
And knocked it's little c**t in

[DirtyDozen12]

Jack fucked Jill up a Hill,
Silly Jilly was not on the Pill,
9 months later im sure you heard,
Jill gave birth til a 10 pound turd....

id say yeahhhh

[Homer]

Tankie had a little lamb
He filled his arse with coke
Now the gardai don't suspect a thing
As he sneaks it into Croke.

   

[Hardy]

Mary had a little lamb
Delivered by a section
Her father soon made sure the ram
Had had his last erection.

[wrecked_em]

humpty dumpty sat on the bed
little bo peep was giving him head
as soon as he came she started to weep
cos she knew by the taste
he'd been shagging her sheep

[DrinkingHarp]

Insert any performance of Andrew " The Diceman " Clay.  OHH!!

[dec]

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
Daddy put them all to bed
So he and Mum could ...
go to bed early as well