Handy tips

[J OGorman]

Parents, whilst driving with a kid in the back seat, tilt the main mirror to a 45 degree angle, allowing you to both see out the back window and keep an eye on the wean...handy

[ballinaman]

When in a lift, press and hold the button of the number of the floor you want to go to and it will go direct...doesn't stop at any other floor even if called.

[Under Lights]

Use a stapler remover to easily open the ring on a key ring for you to get a key on- saves your nails.

[rrhf]

When booking a hotel room in Dublin for a big match always book for the replay first. 

[muppet]

On your phone enter a contact called "ICE" (in case of emergency).

If you get hurt, are in an accident or simply lose your phone, a good soul will be able to help you by dialling your ICE number.

(I got my phone back from a taxi-driver this way).

[Keyser soze]

To save on your oil bills, heavily insulate all your radiators with foil backed padding.

This will stop the heat escaping from the rads, meaning your boiler will hardly ever need to come on.

You will recoup the cost of the insulation easily over the winter by using much less oil.

[parttimeexile]

To save on your oil bills, heavily insulate all your radiators with foil backed padding.

This will stop the heat escaping from the rads, meaning your boiler will hardly ever need to come on.

You will recoup the cost of the insulation easily over the winter by using much less oil.

Would come on more often, costing you more money while you are freezing cold!

[Keyser soze]

To save on your oil bills, heavily insulate all your radiators with foil backed padding.

This will stop the heat escaping from the rads, meaning your boiler will hardly ever need to come on.

You will recoup the cost of the insulation easily over the winter by using much less oil.

Would come on more often, costing you more money while you are freezing cold!

Emmmm  No. 

It wouldn't come on more often, it would come on less often as the water would stay hot for longer given that the whole system is insulated and therefore the thermostat wouldn't turn the boiler on as often.

You are of course coorrect in spotting that you would be freezing cold, but failed to notice that this ludicrous idea was a pisstake a la the suggestions page in Viz.

[muppet]

To save on your oil bills, heavily insulate all your radiators with foil backed padding.

This will stop the heat escaping from the rads, meaning your boiler will hardly ever need to come on.

You will recoup the cost of the insulation easily over the winter by using much less oil.

Would come on more often, costing you more money while you are freezing cold!

Emmmm  No. 

It wouldn't come on more often, it would come on less often as the water would stay hot for longer given that the whole system is insulated and therefore the thermostat wouldn't turn the boiler on as often.

You are of course coorrect in spotting that you would be freezing cold, but failed to notice that this ludicrous idea was a pisstake a la the suggestions page in Viz.

[Bingo]

Before taking a sh*te on any toilet, use some toilet paper to give the seat a quick wipe. Not going will it help clean the seat but more importantly it acts as a check that there is in fact toilet roll available for post dump clean up. Very useful in public and pub toilets.

[Under Lights]

Before taking a sh*te on any toilet, use some toilet paper to give the seat a quick wipe. Not going will it help clean the seat but more importantly it acts as a check that there is in fact toilet roll available for post dump clean up. Very useful in public and pub toilets.

If you need to have a quiet dump, for example if you are at a new woman's house staying over for a bit of slap and tickle and you have to take a dump or if you are in a public toilet and don't want anyone to hear the plop, simply throw a load of load of toilet roll into the bowl. This will act as a catcher for the said turd.
It will land silent. People when they be unaware that you do actually shit and just think you go into the locked toilet to fiddle with yourself.

[ballinaman]

How To Correctly Make French Toast

[God14]

If you need to have a quiet dump, for example if you are at a new woman's house staying over for a bit of slap and tickle and you have to take a dump or if you are in a public toilet and don't want anyone to hear the plop, simply throw a load of load of toilet roll into the bowl. This will act as a catcher for the said turd.
It will land silent. People when they be unaware that you do actually shit and just think you go into the locked toilet to fiddle with yourself.
[/quote]

I often use this method myself. Be careful though, too much of said toilet paper deployed in the catcher role could cause a nasty blockage. As a rule I always adopt a two flush policy. 1st flush after the said dump & 2nd  flush for toilet paper used in the clean up op.
If not followed correctly this could result in even more embarrassment.

[Under Lights]

If you need to have a quiet dump, for example if you are at a new woman's house staying over for a bit of slap and tickle and you have to take a dump or if you are in a public toilet and don't want anyone to hear the plop, simply throw a load of load of toilet roll into the bowl. This will act as a catcher for the said turd.
It will land silent. People when they be unaware that you do actually shit and just think you go into the locked toilet to fiddle with yourself.

I often use this method myself. Be careful though, too much of said toilet paper deployed in the catcher role could cause a nasty blockage. As a rule I always adopt a two flush policy. 1st flush after the said dump & 2nd  flush for toilet paper used in the clean up op.
If not followed correctly this could result in even more embarrassment.
[/quote]

A current County player I know has adopted this technique since I told him it.
Before when in a filly's house he would do the 'catch technique'. He said he held a clump of toilet paper in his hand and caught the turd before placing it into the toilet.

[Mayo4Sam]

To save on your oil bills, heavily insulate all your radiators with foil backed padding.

This will stop the heat escaping from the rads, meaning your boiler will hardly ever need to come on.

You will recoup the cost of the insulation easily over the winter by using much less oil.

Would come on more often, costing you more money while you are freezing cold!

Emmmm  No. 

It wouldn't come on more often, it would come on less often as the water would stay hot for longer given that the whole system is insulated and therefore the thermostat wouldn't turn the boiler on as often.

You are of course coorrect in spotting that you would be freezing cold, but failed to notice that this ludicrous idea was a pisstake a la the suggestions page in Viz.

Actually Emmmmm Yes

The thermostat is in the room, which as you have said is freezing, therefore it will keep the heating on longer

You are an idiot, a la the idiots from the suggestions pages in Viz