management speak

[pullhard]

In a meeting today, My boss and I quote Said "I need to get a Helicopter View of the issue and then drill down to the core of the problem"

Anyone have any similar experiences ?

[Puckoon]

We are never done with the following:

1. Lets see if we can pad some fat into this price

2. Can you volley that one over to corporate

3. Lets just get some field position - punt it back

[deiseach]

When TalkTalk closed their call centre in Waterford, they kept on saying that "we are exiting the site". The 575 redundancies were an unintentional consequence of the 'exiting'.

[Walter Cronc]

I'm partial to 'touching base' with potential clients.

[Puckoon]

Which base? 

[screenexile]

The favourites in here are:

That sounds like a penalty kick (Aye but the keeper fcukin saves it all the time)

and

A very positive meeting (aye positive in the sense of a good chat but f**k all worthwhile comes out of it!)

[thebigfella]

We need to step back and take a look at the macro view

[Walter Cronc]

Which base? 

Depends how hard up I am.....

Oh that just sounds all wrong lol.

[DickyRock]

Follow meetingboy on twitter. He has some good ones on meetings

[AQMP]

Rugby tackle the forward if he's in for a goal. - Tyrone Management Meeting

[Cold tea]

We need to step back and take a look at the macro view

Your throng of employees must love that one. 

[Orior]

Sorry, but I'm going to defend management speak.

Football/baseball terms are often used so that the gophers can understand what they are meant to do. It is not condescending, just good business practice.

Also, life would be a much duller place if we didnt use these terms.

Finally, there are of course the dickheads that use management speak to give themselves the illusion of power and knowledge. You have my permission to ignore the dickheads.

[thebigfella]

We need to step back and take a look at the macro view

Your throng of employees must love that one. 

It was a fcukwit client with years of experience in IT like you. Didn't know what he was talking about either.

[J70]

We are never done with the following:

1. Lets see if we can pad some fat into this price

2. Can you volley that one over to corporate

3. Lets just get some field position - punt it back

I am trying to imagine in what context someone would use that third one!

[Puckoon]

It's a favorite of a manager who likes to do as little as possible. It's kinda the same deal as the volley one except volleys are for internal punting and punting is volleying back to the client with a question to buy some time! It's all very confusing