Funny songs

[qwerty123]

Just after getting Christy Moore's new CD - Folk Tale and he has two cracker tunes - Honda 50 and Weekend in Amsterdam.  Does anyone know of any other songs like this - songs with a traditional tune.  Can't really have yer man Seamus Moore, tries to play it on the edge but doesn't really work , although Transit Van is a good tune alright.

Trying to come up with a few, maybe for a CD compilation and just to learn for myself in case a sing song breaks out at a party!

[Hardy]

Here's one. the tune is something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS0Jq_v-mZ8


The Portuguese Sailor

Oh it’s all for the love of a fair young maid, who in Southill does reside
Meself, I come from Garryowen, it’s a one and a fi'penny ride.
But there was a fly in the ointment now, that you’d very seldom see -
Although I loved her terrible well, she was in love with a Portugee.

Now he was a nasty piece of work, Rodriques was his name
And he couldn’t wait for to get his hands, on Concepta who was me dame.
So I made a vow under Cannock’s clock, that I would do him in.
You see I didn’t like them Portuguese, and in particular I didn't like him.

So I followed them down through the People’s Park, one night when they went out,
Around by O’Connell’s Monument, and then they went in to Souths.
I spied ‘em sitting in a corner seat, they were kissing and holding hands  (O God)
And there he was seducing her, with pints of Babycham.

So I followed him to his lodgings in Moyross or thereabouts
And as he went up an alleyway, lads I battered him inside out.
Oh he let out manys an oath and swear, until he was dead, I'm sure.
So I lifted up the manhole lid and I fucked him into the sewer.

Now when herself she heard of this, she made my life a hell.
So all for the sake of peace and quiet, I did her in as well.
So it’s now I'm up before the Judge, to answer for my crimes
And he says - I didn't mind the first one son, O but not the second time.

So it’s all for the love of this fair young maid and her Portuguese sailor boy;
It’s all for the love of this fair young maid, that I landed in Mountjoy.
But if ever I get out again, my life I'll change you'll see,
‘Cause I'll marry a one from the North Circular, who wouldn't look at a Portuguee.

[Mayo4Sam]

Oh lord it's hard to be humble
Seamus just wants to be famous

[Orior]

There was Johnny McEldoo and McGee and me
And a couple of two or three went on the spree one day
We had a bob or two, which we knew how to blew
And the beer and whiskey flew and we all felt gay
We visited McCann's, Maclaman's, Humpty Dan's
We then went into Swan's, our stomachs for to pack
We ordered out a feed, which indeed, we did need
And we finished it with speed, but we still felt slack

Johnny McEldoo turned as blue as a jew
As a plate of Irish stew he soon put out of sight
He shouted out "Encore!" with a roar for some more
That he'd never felt before such a keen appetite
We ordered eggs and ham, bread and jam, what a cram
But him, we couldn't ram, though we tried our level best
For everthing we brought, cold or hot, mattered not
It went down him like a shot and he still stood the test

He swallowed tripe and lard by the yard, we got scarred
We thought it would go hard when the waiter brought the bill
We told him to give o'er, but he swore he could lower
Twice as much again and more before he had his fill
He nearly supped a trough full of broth says McGragh
"He'll devour the tablecloth if you don't hold 'em in"
When the waiter brought the charge, McEldoo felt so large
He began to shout and barge and his blood went on fire

He began to curse and swear, tear his hair in despair
To finish the affair, called the shop man a liar
The shop man, he through out and no doubt, he did clout
McEldoo he kicked about like an old football
Tattered all his clothes, broke his nose, I suppose
He would have killed him with a few blows in no time at all
Mceldoo began to howl and to growl, by my soul
Through an empty bowl at the shop keepers head
It struck poor Mickey Flynn, took the skin from his chin
An eruction did begin and we all fought and bled
The peelers did arrive, man alive, four or five
At us they made a dive for us all to march away
We paid for all the mate that we ate, stood a trait
And went home to ruminate on the spree that day

[Armaghtothebone]

Youtube " kevin bloody wilson"

Only do this if you are over 18 and very very broadminded!!