Affairs blamed for NI divorces
Affairs have been blamed for the collapse of half of all the troubled marriages in Northern Ireland.
Secret liasions is one of the reasons marriages break down
Boredom and financial pressure were also among the key reasons for irreconcilable break-downs, a new survey has revealed.
The study by the InsideDivorce.com website said affairs were blamed for relationship difficulties by 50% of those taking part from Northern Ireland, compared to an average of 27% across the UK.
Relate Northern Ireland chief executive Gerald Clarke said: "There is a lot of economic hardship and the aftermath of the Troubles leaving a lot of people scarred as a result of what has gone on.
"While it is being brushed under the carpet, it still leaves a scar."
Apart from secret liaisons, money and couples in loveless marriages, other causes of separation included domestic abuse, lack of sex, stress caused by Christmas breakdown in communications.
In 2006, just under 2,600 marriages ended, the largest tally yet.
For couples married in the mid-1980s, an estimated one-in-six relationships ended by the 20th wedding anniversary.
Researchers said 60% of divorcees counted boredom as a flaw in their marriage, compared to 29% in the rest of the UK.
Domestic violence was less of a problem in Northern Ireland, with one-in-10 highlighting abuse.
Northern Ireland people were more likely to suffer emotionally, with one-in-two left a wreck by the separation. Only 10% cited lack of sex as an issue.
The days after Christmas are among the busiest for divorce lawyers, with a stressful Christmas often the final nail in the marital coffin.
Most divorces at this time of year are instigated by women and more infidelities are committed during the Christmas party season than at any other time of the year.
Mr Clarke added: "Christmas is always a stressful time when it comes to relationships because of the myth presented by the media that puts individuals and couples under enormous emotional and financial pressure to live up to the image created.
"Most people can't afford it or are disappointed because their expectations are not being fulfilled."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7168502.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7168502.stm)
75% of men have affairs in America. The other 25% do it in Europe.
Asian women are nice Orior.
Quote from: ziggysego on January 05, 2008, 03:12:59 PM
Asian women are nice Orior.
I Agree ;)
Speaking of affairs it's not always men who are too blame.
I was at a wedding of a friend of mine in Sept 2006.Heard the other day that they have split up,He found pictures on her phone of her and a another man doing things they shouldn't have been doing
A bit harsh for parking on a double yellow!
How stupid would you need to be to keep pictures like that on your phone?
Marriage is a waste of time anyway, always has been it's just now younger generations won't stay in an unhappy one.
I wonder how much was spent on the 2,600 weddings that ended in divorce.
I was saying the same to the sister-in-law this morning. She told me to go back to sleep.
Quote from: ONeill on January 05, 2008, 04:05:39 PM
I was saying the same to the sister-in-law this morning. She told me to go back to sleep.
:D
Good ones there Orior and O'Neill. Since it seems that everyone in the audience these days thinks the crowd came to hear them, I'll be the heckler:
So when do the jokes start?
Society is falling apart and this is just another one of the symptoms. In 100 years we'll be living like animals in the jungle. No morals, dog eat dog and no compasion for the weakest in our community.
Marriage is now considered temporay and both men and women run around with who ever they want having relations at an early age. Homosexual relationships are on a legal parr with marriage. Abortion is available with few questions being asked and euthanasia will soon follow. We are heading towards the end of western civilization and facing a new Dark Ages. I'm glad I won't be around in 100 years to see it.
I astonished that after making that comment to me on another thread you feel you're in a positon to lecture about morals.
QuoteHomosexual relationships are on a legal parr with marriage.
And what's wrong with this?
Not to mention riding animals Aristotle. It's rife in Carlow and Leitrim.
You'd have to ask what drives so many people to having an affair.Id wager a high proportion of affairs are just the straw that broke the camels jawbone of miserable marraiges. If you and your partner are truely happy - It shouldnt happen. If Mrs Puck was off with another man, at some stage Id have to ask myself what had gone wrong to lead to such an action on her behalf. Id be very surprised if some portion of the blame didnt lie with me. Still though, I wouldnt be happy with her either.
Quote from: ONeill on January 05, 2008, 09:15:53 PM
Not to mention riding animals Aristotle. It's rife in Carlow and Leitrim.
And Florida (http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080104/NEWS07/80104055/1001/NEWS)
Quote from: Puckoon on January 05, 2008, 09:21:15 PM
You'd have to ask what drives so many people to having an affair.Id wager a high proportion of affairs are just the straw that broke the camels jawbone of miserable marraiges. If you and your partner are truely happy - It shouldnt happen. If Mrs Puck was off with another man, at some stage Id have to ask myself what had gone wrong to lead to such an action on her behalf. Id be very surprised if some portion of the blame didnt lie with me. Still though, I wouldnt be happy with her either.
I think that might be true in a lot of cases were women have affairs.
For a lot of men they just can't pass up the opportunity.
Unfortunately this is the world in which we live in. Young people are in such a hurry to do things, that a lot of people don't consider marriage in its fullest. I'm sure most of them think it will all be wonderful and easy, not something that needs to be worked at. If something gets too difficult, a lot of people will walk away without trying to fix it.
Im sure there are women who cant pass up the opportunity, and Im sure there are men who are just looking for a way out who lack the spine to just leave.
..
Friend of mine just got her divorce through last month. 5 years of marriage, 10 years together, 4 year old son.
I cant help but think how sad it is, but she feels like she finally can live again.
Interestingly the husband was called Randy...
I don't know puckoon, anyone I've ever heard off being caught with someone else still try and run back to their wife/husband. If it was the case that they were looking a way out it would be a perfect opportunity.
Quote from: ziggysego on January 05, 2008, 09:31:05 PM
Unfortunately this is the world in which we live in. Young people are in such a hurry to do things, that a lot of people don't consider marriage in its fullest. I'm sure most of them think it will all be wonderful and easy, not something that needs to be worked at. If something gets too difficult, a lot of people will walk away without trying to fix it.
See ziggy, some marital problems can be fixed, some cant. You cant fix love not being there, and you can only expect someone to flog a dead horse for so long. What really bugs me is people who arent fully sure of what marriage entails, but go ahead and get married anyways. Then they have fucked up someone elses life.
Well Pints thats true too. I guess the fact that theres a caveat for every arguement shows you how blurry the lines of motivation for affairs and divorce are. :-\ Throw in the irish catholic stigma associated with divorce and youve got more to chew on.
Quote from: Puckoon on January 05, 2008, 09:37:41 PM
Quote from: ziggysego on January 05, 2008, 09:31:05 PM
Unfortunately this is the world in which we live in. Young people are in such a hurry to do things, that a lot of people don't consider marriage in its fullest. I'm sure most of them think it will all be wonderful and easy, not something that needs to be worked at. If something gets too difficult, a lot of people will walk away without trying to fix it.
See ziggy, some marital problems can be fixed, some cant. You cant fix love not being there, and you can only expect someone to flog a dead horse for so long. What really bugs me is people who arent fully sure of what marriage entails, but go ahead and get married anyways. Then they have fucked up someone elses life.
Oh I know, if it's a bad marriage that can't be fixed, then yes walk away. What I was saying was, too many people walk away at the first sign of trouble and don't try to hard to fix it.
People get divorced because most people are arseholes that you couldn't live with.
It's always been that way, it's just that now younger people won't stick around if they're not happy and to be fair they're right, it's a pity they were so stupid in the first place.
Been stung in the past pints?
Quote from: Minder on January 05, 2008, 11:05:39 PM
Dont forget about the hidden stats, where peple have had an affair and the spouses find out and they just stay together for children/appearances sake. A friend of mines wife has had more than one affair and he knows and the whole area knows but they are still together, dont know if its for the children or just to keep up appearances. How you could live with a woman knowing a different "hard willy" has been in her when she is your wife......She is a teacher too, they have too much f**king time on their hands !
Because some people, men and women, are complete fools!
We have these "friends" (I use the term lightly), he is as sound as they come. She had a kid when she was only a child herself, he treats the kid like his own, he doesn't drink but when we've to sit in a pub with them she never puts her hand in her pocket and orders hiim to buy a round every now and again. She has never lasted in a job for more than two days! Why would she when he buys and pays for everything. About every 6 months she breaks up with him, sleeps with every man she meets and then goes back to him. The last night we were in the pub with them, and I said never again!, she danced, very closely, all night with this other man while the fool sat and looked at them!
Thats just sad Pints. Does your buddy have low self esteem or how come he keeps putting up with that kind of carry on?
Quote from: Puckoon on January 06, 2008, 12:34:48 AM
Thats just sad Pints. Does your buddy have low self esteem or how come he keeps putting up with that kind of carry on?
He's not my buddy - she'd probably be the "friend" but I don't know what the story is with him or why he takes it, he woudln't strike me as being an obvious canditate for low self esteem, he probably thinks he's in love ::)
That night in the pub was the worst with another man having his hands all over his gf all night and him trying to laugh it off and the rest of us just wanting to die!
It's the child I feel sorry for.
Quote from: pintsofguinness on January 05, 2008, 09:44:35 PM
People get divorced because most people are arseholes that you couldn't live with.
:D :D
You may very well be onto something there Pints!!
I must be one of the lucky ones, so far anyway.
At its most basic animal level, men need to have sex with as many women as possible so as to prolong their genes. Marriage kind of restricts that.
Or, put another way:
Higamus hogamus, woman's monogamous.
Hogamus higamus, man is polygamous.
Quote from: Orior on January 06, 2008, 01:05:55 PM
At its most basic animal level, men need to have sex with as many women as possible so as to prolong their genes. Marriage kind of restricts that.
Does that excuse work?
Quote from: Orior on January 06, 2008, 01:05:55 PM
At its most basic animal level, men need to have sex with as many women as possible so as to prolong their genes. Marriage kind of restricts that.
Not in Utah.
Quote from: Orior on January 06, 2008, 01:05:55 PM
At its most basic animal level, men need to have sex with as many women as possible so as to prolong their genes. Marriage kind of restricts that.
To prolong the genes? I can only presume the guys who use this excuse to sleep around dont use protection then ?
Lads you are all forgetting something
Women have affairs
Men just get the ride
there is a difference there, the women fall in love and want to run away with the man but the men only tell the women they love them to get their wicked way and once the dirty deed is done they run like feck back home. When a man tells a woman he lover her or she is lovely it's like taking candy from a baby (unless your in my house ;) :D)