Comin up 2 easter, i thought it might b a good idea 2 c what mass wud b the shortest cos i know our priest will take at least an hour an 20 mins. So i wudnt mind any suggestions.
I have a suggestion. Write in English.
You can't bullshit us, Tiberius. You'll go to the mass your mammy takes you to. Now knuckle down to the books, and learn to spell, the 11plus is only 6 months away!
Ach would you look at all the old farts that cant understand the linguo of the youth, Feckitt, i dont know whether to go 2 my mammys mass or your mammys ass... tough decision
Quote from: Tiberius on April 09, 2009, 11:11:52 AM
Ach would you look at all the old farts that cant understand the linguo of the youth, Feckitt, i dont know whether to go 2 my mammys mass or your mammys ass... tough decision
c u l8r
lol. tb.xoxo
Linguo, lol. E cnt evn spel txt spk propers.
Sounds like pasta!
My ma can run the 100 metres in 15 seconds, quick enough.
This is great banter and all, but seriously, any quick masses?
Our fathR, hu art n heavN,
Halowd b Thy nAm.
Dy Kngdom cum.
Dy wiL b dn, on erth az it iz n heavN. GIV us DIS dA R daily bred.
& 4giv us our trspases,
az we 4giv thOs hu trspas agAnst us.
& lEd us nt in2 tmptation,
bt delivR us frm.
Amn.
Quote from: Homer on April 09, 2009, 11:28:29 AM
Our fathR, hu art n heavN,
Halowd b Thy nAm.
Dy Kngdom cum.
Dy wiL b dn, on erth az it iz n heavN. GIV us DIS dA R daily bred.
& 4giv us our trspases,
az we 4giv thOs hu trspas agAnst us.
& lEd us nt in2 tmptation,
bt delivR us frm.
Amn.
:D :D :D
Quote from: Homer on April 09, 2009, 11:28:29 AM
Our fathR, hu art n heavN,
Halowd b Thy nAm.
Dy Kngdom cum.
Dy wiL b dn, on erth az it iz n heavN. GIV us DIS dA R daily bred.
& 4giv us our trspases,
az we 4giv thOs hu trspas agAnst us.
& lEd us nt in2 tmptation,
bt delivR us frm.
Amn.
You could be on to something here Homer :D. Actually think the bible was transcribed into txt speak by someone!
Quote from: Homer on April 09, 2009, 11:28:29 AM
Our fathR, hu art n heavN,
Halowd b Thy nAm.
Dy Kngdom cum.
Dy wiL b dn, on erth az it iz n heavN. GIV us DIS dA R daily bred.
& 4giv us our trspases,
az we 4giv thOs hu trspas agAnst us.
& lEd us nt in2 tmptation,
bt delivR us frm.
Amn.
:D :D :D :D
Seriously though Tiberius, not a very Christian attitude to want to be getting in and out of Mass quickly. It's Easter!
That is a terrible attitude Ziggy. Jesus took all that punishment and died for a skitter like you to find 'the quickest Mass!' Watch the Passion film tonight on RTE and ask for forgiveness. If you put as much into your faith as you do into this board and following the GAA it would suit you better.
For a cunning fox, your eye sight's failing. Re-read what I wrote and report back to me.
Quote from: longrunsthefox on April 09, 2009, 12:11:58 PM
That is a terrible attitude Ziggy. Jesus took all that punishment and died for a skitter like you to find 'the quickest Mass!' Watch the Passion film tonight on RTE and ask for forgiveness. If you put as much into your faith as you do into this board and following the GAA it would suit you better.
You've got the wrong guy!
Thanks ref. Hope you all believe me now, when I said Fox was a bitter old man, with a chip on his shoulder that day I met him. There's your proof!
i have watched it before, very graphic film. Even if it wasnt easter im still lookin 4 a quicker/more interesting mass, Im as likley to fall asleep as pray at our mass
Quote from: ziggysego on April 09, 2009, 12:17:52 PM
For a cunning fox, your eye sight's failing. Re-read what I wrote and report back to me.
Oh my God! I'll go to hell for that one :-\ Sorry Ziggy...forgive me I know not what I do... T'was you Tiberius who will be smote.
looks like im not the only one lookin 4 a quick mass, nearly 300 people have checked this topic to c if they can sneak a quick mass too. lol :D
Quote from: Tiberius on April 09, 2009, 12:42:28 PM
looks like im not the only one lookin 4 a quick mass, nearly 300 people have checked this topic to c if they can sneak a quick mass too. lol :D
Aye, mostly just to get a laugh at your typing and the ones on here slagging you!
Quote from: Our Nail Loney on April 09, 2009, 12:50:11 PM
Quote from: Tiberius on April 09, 2009, 12:42:28 PM
looks like im not the only one lookin 4 a quick mass, nearly 300 people have checked this topic to c if they can sneak a quick mass too. lol :D
Aye, mostly just to get a laugh at your typing and the ones on here slagging you!
He makes Gnevin, Leenie and I look like University Professors! :D
the catholic church wont tolerate you boys anyway, uns r that far up each others arses.
Sweet talk will get you nowhere :*
Quote from: Tiberius on April 09, 2009, 01:00:12 PM
the catholic church wont tolerate you boys anyway, uns r that far up each others arses.
:D
Quote from: haranguerer on April 09, 2009, 01:25:50 PM
Quote from: Tiberius on April 09, 2009, 01:00:12 PM
the catholic church wont tolerate you boys anyway, uns r that far up each others arses.
:D
What makes you think that Tiberius?
BBC today...
Church abuse report 'will shock'
Child
The report into child abuse is due out this summer
The Catholic Archbishop of Dublin, Diarmuid Martin, has warned a report on clerical child sex abuse, due out this summer, will shock everybody.
Archbishop Martin was speaking at the Holy Thursday Mass in the city's Pro-Cathedral.
He said the report from the Commission on Child Sex Abuse was likely to show thousands of children or young people across Ireland were abused by priests.
"(It) will make us and the entire church a humbler church," he said.
In 1999, the then Irish prime minister Bertie Ahern delivered an unprecedented apology to the victims on behalf of the state.
He also set up the commission to report on abuse allegations in institutions such as schools, orphanages, hospitals and children's homes that were funded by the state, but were mainly run by Catholic religious orders.
Some of the allegations date back to the 1930s.
here, i meant the church wudnt accept gays, i didnt mention anything about peodophiles. But im sure if thats what floats your boat, they will hear your confession :)
No-it don't float my boat man but is why the church has been so discredited and open to ridicule and rightly so.
You have made the same mistake as many before mixing up homosexuals and peodophiles. You automatically assume that because a man is gay he is more likely to be a peodophile, take your prejudices elsewhere and start your own thread. Now does anyone know of a quick mass?
Me think you doth protest too much about gays - it's okay we accept you :-*
me think you doth protest too much about peodophiles, we dont accept you :'(
;D Foxache
Tiberious and fox sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g ;)
put that bag of sweets down fox and talk sense
ziggy, i have past my 11+ so im far too old 4 foxy
Quotei have past my 11+
Are you sure about that
Stand back Ziggy... Tiberius I will thee slay as thou hast slabbered and cast aspirtions that seek to diminish the Fox ye fool.
I've done some research... "Tiberius was one of Rome's generals, whose campaigns in Pannonia, Illyricum, Rhaetia and Germania laid the foundations for the northern frontier. But he came to be remembered as a dark, reclusive, and somber ruler who never really desired to be emperor; Pliny the Elder called him tristissimus hominum, 'the gloomiest of men' ... a sad bastard in other words.
Quote from: Shamrock Shore on April 09, 2009, 02:52:39 PM
Quotei have past my 11+
Are you sure about that
:D :D :D :D Excellent!
Why go to mass if your looking to rush out of it ? Surely if you believe in God , he's worth an hour of your week?
I purpose Mass to be moved from Sunday mornings to a more suitable time like Tuesday evenings (to be changed whenever Champions League is on), Sunday mornings are obviously a detterent to the youth of today and those who like to have a tipple of give on a Saturday evening. Get with the times Benedict.
Quote from: Katchit on April 09, 2009, 03:06:45 PM
I purpose Mass to be moved from Sunday mornings to a more suitable time like Tuesday evenings (to be changed whenever Champions League is on), Sunday mornings are obviously a detterent to the youth of today and those who like to have a tipple of give on a Saturday evening. Get with the times Benedict.
Did you write that on propose? :o
(http://www.wearyourbeer.com/images/Simpsons_Home_SMRT_Royal_Shirt.jpg)
fox... you are full of shite lol
Long runs the fox?? what sorta f**kin name is that? Wait il do some research
"Long runs the fox" means that eventually someone *will* get their comeuppance....
meaning eventualy for being a smartass you will be smart to the wrong man, and when that happens id love to be there
::)
Answer to your question: City Hospital, Belfast
Left out pages of the Passion on Sunday, no homily, straight through and about twenty people for communion. Half 11 on a Sunday.
Will probably take him an hour to get there and he'll think he has saved time :P
who says im a man and who says im not from belfast you t**t
Will I be accepted anymore if I join in in the slagging here or am I too much of a newbie?
Tiberius, your a gay peadophile mass-dodging illiterate mammys boy... and your probably from Tyrone.
Quote from: A Daintier Hero on April 09, 2009, 05:45:20 PM
Will I be accepted anymore if I join in in the slagging here or am I too much of a newbie?
Tiberius, your a gay peadophile mass-dodging illiterate mammys boy... and your probably from Tyrone.
You're = You are
Your = your
Has friends taught you nothing?
Dam it.
I watch enough of it too.
Daintier, you won me over. Then you took a swipe at Tyrone. Begone you disgusting noobie!! >:(
Can't please everyone!
I'm off to Church now. See you all later. *waves*
The personal abuse is just flying about today ain't it!
It's 'paedophile' for everybody who can't spell the word.
Maybe this should be renamed the grammer thread
Quote from: A Daintier Hero on April 09, 2009, 08:12:29 PM
Maybe this should be renamed the grammer thread
Or even the grammar thread
Great to see irony isn't lost on some... ::)
Quote from: Tiberius on April 09, 2009, 02:29:12 PM
Now does anyone know of a quick mass?
Ever loiter on the edge of a black hole in outer space? That would be some quick mass.
my gos you some miserable shower of bastards. such bitterness on a topic like this go forbid any one starts an 'Easiest way to drown kittens ' thread
plastic bag with some stones in maybe?
Which charity can one donate to with the smallest amount that will still be considered a donation?
How little can one bend the knee in Mass for it still to be considered a genuflection?
I think they call it a courtsey in the commonwealth FoSB.
As do all the altar boys. Its bate into them from a young age.
It was the oul double knee genuflection tonight.
Quote from: Tiberius on April 09, 2009, 05:04:18 PM
who says im a man and who says im not from belfast you t**t
Are you a woman from Belfast?
Quote from: rosnarun on April 09, 2009, 09:50:39 PM
my gos you some miserable shower of b**tards. such bitterness on a topic like this go forbid any one starts an 'Easiest way to drown kittens ' thread
plastic bag with some stones in maybe?
We used to a have a black barrel in the yard for holding water, I used to throw them into that, took them a while but got the job done. :o
Back when I was an innocent alter boy the local parish priest said mass in 20 minutes. Was brilliant.
Of course it emerged a few years later than that he was slipping the housemaid a length. No wonder he was in such a rush home.
Quote from: GalwayBayBoy on April 10, 2009, 12:25:14 AM
Of course it emerged a few years later than that he was slipping the housemaid a length.
A case of 'from a short Mass to a long mass'!
Quote from: GalwayBayBoy on April 10, 2009, 12:25:14 AM
Back when I was an innocent alter boy the local parish priest said mass in 20 minutes. Was brilliant.
Of course it emerged a few years later than that he was slipping the housemaid a length. No wonder he was in such a rush home.
(http://s.bebo.com/app-image/7927103959/5411656627/PROFILE/i.quizzaz.com/img/q/u/08/04/12/bishop_brennan.JPG)
Quote from: GalwayBayBoy on April 10, 2009, 12:25:14 AM
Back when I was an innocent alter boy the local parish priest said mass in 20 minutes. Was brilliant.
Of course it emerged a few years later than that he was slipping the housemaid a length. No wonder he was in such a rush home.
But sure isn't that alway's the way, how many times I've heard of those damn pesky Priests taking the young women folk from their parishes! ::)
Worst still their not letting the local lads have a chance.
Quote from: GalwayBayBoy on April 10, 2009, 12:25:14 AM
Back when I was an innocent alter boy the local parish priest said mass in 20 minutes. Was brilliant.
Of course it emerged a few years later than that he was slipping the housemaid a length. No wonder he was in such a rush home.
Btw was Casey his name? ::)
Always sounds good on the internet - if you have an accusation (no spell check) to make then how about naming him!
Where are you from Tiberius?
Romanesque-sounding name, along with you moniker....hmmmm, I'm theorising here....
Anybody take a scoot to mass last night so see a lock of men getting there dorty feet washed? Same boys every year... :D
Our Holy Thursday mass clocked in at ..............54 mins feet washed dried and all
Quote from: longball on April 10, 2009, 08:59:28 AM
Our Holy Thursday mass clocked in at ..............54 mins feet washed dried and all
Thats fairly sharp, although ive been to quicker..a good quick to the point sermon always helps along with the priest being a fast talker and flying through the prayers.
Quote from: Tiberius on April 09, 2009, 05:04:18 PM
who says im a man and who says im not from belfast you t**t
On first page of this thread you eloquently (look it up in a dictionary) talk of going to another poster's 'mammy's ass.' I therefore assumed you are a male... but a lesbian fron the New Lodge named Tiberius... why not? :D
Quote from: Gaoth Dobhair Abu on April 10, 2009, 01:54:27 AM
Quote from: GalwayBayBoy on April 10, 2009, 12:25:14 AM
Back when I was an innocent alter boy the local parish priest said mass in 20 minutes. Was brilliant.
Of course it emerged a few years later than that he was slipping the housemaid a length. No wonder he was in such a rush home.
Btw was Casey his name? ::)
Always sounds good on the internet - if you have an accusation (no spell check) to make then how about naming him!
It's actually completely true and was in the papers but I'm not going naming him on here. You can save your rolling eyes.
And no it wasn't Casey.
You'd think Casey was a one off!
(And before someone starts crying about 'church bashing', personally i have no problem with a priest or bishop having an affair with another consenting adult - i don't think it should be a scandal.)
The scandal with Casey was using the peoples' money to fund Annie Muphy and the child. Yer man Cleary with the beard was horendous slabbering about family values and celebacy on the Late late Show... terrible piece of work who denied his own son. The two of them were up swinging their arms about the racecourse in Galway and leading the singing when Pope John Paul 1 came to Galway in 1979... any wonder so many people walked away from the church.
Well yes, those examples are scandals. My point was that a relationship in itself doesn't necessarily have to be a scandal.
Agreed but is some lie to live when preaching to the rest of us how to conduct ourselves
Quote from: ziggysego on April 10, 2009, 01:26:39 AM
Quote from: GalwayBayBoy on April 10, 2009, 12:25:14 AM
Back when I was an innocent alter boy the local parish priest said mass in 20 minutes. Was brilliant.
Of course it emerged a few years later than that he was slipping the housemaid a length. No wonder he was in such a rush home.
(http://s.bebo.com/app-image/7927103959/5411656627/PROFILE/i.quizzaz.com/img/q/u/08/04/12/bishop_brennan.JPG)
;D ;D ;D
Quote from: longrunsthefox on April 10, 2009, 04:41:17 PM
The scandal with Casey was using the peoples' money to fund Annie Muphy and the child. Yer man Cleary with the beard was horendous slabbering about family values and celebacy on the Late late Show... terrible piece of work who denied his own son. The two of them were up swinging their arms about the racecourse in Galway and leading the singing when Pope John Paul 1 came to Galway in 1979... any wonder so many people walked away from the church.
When the poor auld pope he came to Ireland
Way back in that holy time.
Eammon Casey and Michael Cleary
Served the mass and poured the wine.
Two Jockey Boys, they'd ride for Ireland
While preaching us morality..
Sure God love them, they're only human
Annie Murphy might not agree.
That's excellent Puckoon... is that a real song or did you make it up? Kind of lilt you'd hear Chritsy Moore at.
Oh thats the newest verse of the Michael Egan song, Casey.
Heard it for the first time on Christys latest recording.
1,2,3 All together now....
Aye I listen to that Christy Moore tape has the one about Knock airport and about Casey knocking down the sheep... Michael Egan is mentioned in one of them. Christy doesn't pull his punches on the clergy... right he is too
As expected Good Friday Mass was about 1.5 hours long, so I did the decent thing and took myself off to Holy Saturday mass there tonight. Well...we had 8 verses of the entrance hymn...aye eight, sung by yer mawn from Poland or somewhere whose pronunciation was the main reason I kept focussed. Then onto the readings. Now the standard is a First, a Second and then the Gospel. Ahhhhh... not so - in the land where Pentecostalism is starting to grab audiences of over 2,000 every Sunday we had to do our bit to keep the flock amused. Three, yes 3 First readings, with short hymns in between, then two Second readings, the first of which was in Italian. Then we had the Gospel. That done, after Communion, the priest decided to thank everyone involved with the Lent and Easter ceremonies, including the two men who managed to get a wee light working in the paschal fountain. And then he decided to ask his sidekick to give another sermon. Truth be told he did tell a reasonably funny joke, but two hours is a bit of a long time. And here's me who has volunteered to join a friend at a Russian Orthodox ceremony next week. Average length...3 hours. Dunno which will be worse - watching Freo play tomorrow or that ceremony.
Tuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmm, quickest mass in Ireland is in Tuam.
Where'd you go and how long were you kept?
Drumcree or Harryville on 12th morning :D