Worst Chat Up Lines Ever!

[dodo]

Blah blah blah, does anyone just fcuk anymore .

[Minder]

I know of a young fella that took a girl t the cinema on a first date, after the movie they parked somewhere and he asked her "do you want a run of the c**k?".......I think he got a dig in the nose...True story

[stew]

The worst I ever heard actually worked, it was in the Green Briar in Belfast and you could have knocked me down with a feather, this latcheco from Coalisland was talking to this quare wan and he says to her, 'here............ are all them teeth yer own? she paused then burst out laughing and away they went. madness.

I had a mate one night shout across the bar advising me to 'throw it up her stew, she's daft'. I was never as embarassed in my life. The music was loud right up until the time that he opened his bake. The same muppet on another occasion was dancing beside me and casually said 'up the middle where her granny got it'  The young lady heard every word and the meting was shot!! also one of the most embarassing moments of my life. 

[ONeill]

That made me laugh, Stew.

[Leg End]

"I'm Fred Flinstone, I can make your bed rock!"
"Do you clean your clothes with Pledge, cause I can see myself in your knickers!"

I'm no fred flinstone but i'm sure i could make ur bed rock

Do you havr a mirror in ur pocket... Cos i can see myself in your pants

[Leg End]

(Lick finger and touch her shirt) "Lets go back to my place and get outta these wet clothes"

I'm here now... Wat were ur other 2 wishes

DO u believe in love at first sight or should i walk by again

[Sam Maguire]

.

[Fishbat]

Use wisely

"Fancy going halfers on a bastard?"

"you look like a girl that can clod stones - fancy going down the graveyard to wait on a foot patrol?"

[nrico2006]

'Is your da a thief, cause he must have stole the stars and put them in your eyes'.

'If I could re-write the alphabet I would put U and I together'.

'I have a sore head, cause you're running through my mind'.

And Tony Boloneys favourite:

'Nice dress, but it would look better on my bedroom floor'.

[screenexile]

Suitor: Can I smell your fanny??
Lady: No f**k off
Suitor: Oh right, must be your feet then.

My favourite from the days of the teenage Disco was the old tap and point... tap some blade on the shoulder point at your friend and with a nod or a shake you knew the answer. Once she blew the friend out you point at yourself and you're almost guaranteed! They seem to respect the fact that you asked them yourself

[Caid]

Do you like to dance?

Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?

[longball]

My favourite from the days of the teenage Disco was the old tap and point... tap some blade on the shoulder point at your friend and with a nod or a shake you knew the answer. Once she blew the friend out you point at yourself and you're almost guaranteed! They seem to respect the fact that you asked them yourself

we used to go up to the girl and go 'my friend (pointing over to ur firends) wants to know will u go with me' usually worked

[illdecide]

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really, I heard its because everyone there calls you a fat slut.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck me off just yet.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both, you go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back f my car, I don't give a shit where you go.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: That explains the moustache then.

(Classic!)
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised.
Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your arse.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: but would you stay there?
Man: Probably, cause you seem to be the kind of chick that's impossible to shake of once you've been shagged.

Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you miss heard me, I said you look fat in those pants.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well, cause I've been shagging your mum while your dad watches.

Man: You're pretty
Woman: Piss Off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... Ugly, you fat bitch.

[SidelineKick]

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really, I heard its because everyone there calls you a fat slut.

[theresagreen]

. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!


. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.


. If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.
.
If you were a car, I would wax you and ride you all over town.


You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

. Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

. You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.

. Hi my name is _______. Remember it, cause you'll be screaming it all night long.


. Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I'll go choo choo.

. You must be Jelly, cause jam don't shake like that.

The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue.

. Hi, my name is Pogo, want to jump on my stick?