Living here vs USA, 2015

[The Iceman]

It's all about tradeoffs and what is right for your own family. Weather is great, a big house is great, opportunities for the kids are great but if none of that is worth anything to you if you can't share it with your parents, or siblings or in-laws then it doesn't matter how many days of sunshine you get a year.
Right now we're focused on leaving the West Coast and heading back east. We will lose the weather but we can have the same house and we'll regain the community and family interactions that we feel are more important.  The goal would be to get back to Ireland after that - not because of a hankering to go home but just because I think our kids deserve their Irish family for a while and vice versa..

the life of an ex-pat is certainly not an easyone. You're not fully settled in your new country and you don't fully fit in (because of your life experiences and outlook shift) in your home country.

Furio....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70PvXTkqg4g

I don't regret leaving Joe - I've done things, been places and had experiences I never would have even dreamed of had i stayed. Before I left i don't think my Mother had ever been on a plane - she's been over here now I think 10 times in 8 years so my family has also grown from me moving.  But you know yourself you're forever dislodged. Our problem is we haven't settled at all out West. Seattle people are rare to say the least.

"Rare"?

How?

In comparison to East coast people or Southern people I find them very cold. If you invite people to your house you at some point might expect to be invited to theirs - that rarely happens here. If you do go to someones house you might expect some effort on their part, a bit of a spread of food - that has rarely been the case in our experience. If you make plans with people it isn't normal to flake out and cancel last minute (last St Patricks day we had 14 people cancel coming to a party.
this isn't just our experience - a lot of people who've moved here and been here for years report the same - its the Seattle freeze they call it.
theres also an all in or nothing attitude. For example:
Oh you guys hike?
Yes we like to go hiking as a family.
Awesome we're taking our RVs to eastern WA next weekend and going to hike up there
We dont have an RV
you dont have an RV? oh.... see you around

Big Catholic family - great to see
Thanks, you guys too - 12 kids  - we struggle with our 4  - fair play to you
we should have you over some time
yeah we'd like that a lot it would be good to get the kids together
do you home school?
no
catholic school?
no our kids go to public school
oh... see you around

This has happened us many times - you're all in or you're out.

[J70]

You had 14 people cancel coming to a party at the last minute?

I'd never heard of the "Seattle Freeze".

According to the wikipedia entry, Washington state inhabitant rate 48th out of 50 in extraversion. Apparently they're very wary of strangers.

[The Iceman]

You had 14 people cancel coming to a party at the last minute?

I'd never heard of the "Seattle Freeze".

According to the wikipedia entry, Washington state inhabitant rate 48th out of 50 in extraversion. Apparently they're very wary of strangers.

People here would say they have lots of acquaintances but no friends.  You'd be greeted warmly enough but its all fluff. Nobody you could really count on.... If that makes sense.
I had ones in NJ who would drive through a hurricane to come and help you if you needed them. In Ireland I had ones that would shed blood for me if the occasion called for it.
In seattle area I'm lucky if someone buys me a drink back...

[Eamonnca1]

Are you sure it just isn't you, Ice?  :p

In all seriousness, when I first arrived here I had no bother having people to call on for a bit of help moving house or whatever. It was all expats from the UK and Ireland and GAA people mind you, and they'd still help me out if I needed it, but I think people get more self-reliant as the years pass and they become more settled so I don't need the help as much. I have friends that will have me over for dinner but that's mostly at the big holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, the rest of the time it's a lot handier to just meet everybody at a restaurant.

[cadhlancian]

I've been in San Diego since 2000. Came over to work in an Irish bar (  ) , got married and have been here since. I lived in Philly and Boston before that and initially I hated it here , people definitely a lot more fake on the west coast! Like somebody said earlier, it's a great spot for the mother to visit, and she's a great help babysitting when she comes! She usually stays about 5 weeks.. Savage!
Running an Irish bar is definitely a great way to keep connected and to be honest the likes of FB are great for me to keep in contact with lads and lassies I would probably have lost touch with years ago.
Definitely miss it now a bit more than I did a few years back, probably because the oul pair are getting older , and every time I call home, you hear that someone else you knew has just died.
I probably talk to my ma and da at least twice a week .Heading home in July for the younger brothers wedding , and to be honest this is probably the most excited I've been to go home from I came out here. There are 4 of us ( 8 year old twins) , so it's about $6K for flights , so stressed about it, but f**k it, hopefully the tax man is nice to me!  I've worked non stop since I've been here, and my wife is a teacher, and it's definitely hard to get ahead of the game here. I don't know how anyone could afford to have 4 or 5 kids here...
Rough enough house this week, the wife's old man got killed an a car accident right outside their home place in Oakland, 87 flying and gone in a car accident. It's gonna be rough for a while, she was the baby of the house.
With the 2 kids still young , I won't be thinking of going home anytime soon...

[Eamonnca1]

Gawd, that's rough. Sorry to hear that.

[FL/MAYO]

Thats awful Cadhlancian, so sorry to hear about the accident.

[The Iceman]

Are you sure it just isn't you, Ice?  :p

In all seriousness, when I first arrived here I had no bother having people to call on for a bit of help moving house or whatever. It was all expats from the UK and Ireland and GAA people mind you, and they'd still help me out if I needed it, but I think people get more self-reliant as the years pass and they become more settled so I don't need the help as much. I have friends that will have me over for dinner but that's mostly at the big holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, the rest of the time it's a lot handier to just meet everybody at a restaurant.

I work in Portland and up in Vancouver.BC  - both cities are only 3 hours drive from Seattle but both places very very different in terms of people

Sorry to hear about your Father in Law Cadhlancian thats a lot to shoulder for you in the coming weeks. RIP

[cadhlancian]

Thanks fellas! He was a good oul skin. Funerals take an awful long time here. It happened last Tuesday, funeral not until Feb 13th..

[gawa316]

Jeez yeah sorry to here that, must be awful for you all, especially being out of the blue.

[Oraisteach]

Cadhlancian, that's an awful burden to bear.  So sorry for you and your family.

[gawa316]

Out of interest what's the name of the bar you run?

[cadhlancian]

The Field

[Mikhailov]

The Field

Are you from Tyrone Cadhlancian. As far as I know the owners of The Field are from Dungannon / Donaghmore area but maybe that has changed since you been there.

[cadhlancian]

I am. Same owners yes. Originally from Donaghmore and Coalisland 👍🏻