Great Phrases

[Puckoon]

Shes a face on her like a well scalpped arse.

[C_Berg_316]

For a cumbersome gentleman:

"He's as awkward as a sow in reverse"

Outstanding     

[winsamsoon]

A lad that is a complete sleezball in a nightclub"Like a dog with two dicks"


A lad that is shite at the old shooting

"Couldn't score on a dartboard if he threw a hedgehog at it"

an ugly bollox

"i never forget a face but in your case i'll make an exception" Croucho Marx

somone with big teeth

Smiling like a basket of chips

Kiwi Fruits
"Ballbag Fruits"  you surely must know why.

[Tyrones own]

To some not particulary attractive women:

- You would'nt ride her into battle

- The tide would'nt take her out

- She could'nt get a f**king whistle off a boiling kettle

"Wouldn't get up on her to get over a wall"

"She'd make a train back up and take a dirt road"

" She could eat an apple through a tennis racket

"She'd make the lipstick back up into the tube"

A tad sexist I know so come on ladies what have ye on us

[gawa316]

Someone dying of the hunger

'I'd ate the balls of a low flying duck.'

Someone who has dandruff

'He's got a shoulder like a painter's radio.'

Ugly doll

'She's a face on her, like a bag of bolts.'

[SidelineKick]

Someone dying of the hunger

'I'd ate the balls of a low flying duck.'

Someone who has dandruff

'He's got a shoulder like a painter's radio.'

Ugly doll

'She's a face on her, like a bag of bolts.'

Or the "she's got a face on her....." version.

[C_Berg_316]

if your cold:

"freeze the balls of a brass monkey"

"its on like donkey kong"

if its getting late in the evening and youve got nothing done:

"jeez its 10'oclock and not a child in the house washed"

[bridgegael]

if ya have a few aches and pains

" ahh i'm as stiff as a wankers hanky"

[Rav67]

"sick as a bus to Lourdes" - credit Tommy Tight Lips for that one

"she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch" - Full Metal Jacket

"you couldn't bring cocks to her on a link-box"

"he couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat"

[aroundincircles]

My club team was playing a minor league game in ardboe a few years ago  i was standing beside a oldish farmer looking guy who's granson and a lad from my club (who was very skinny for a 17/18 year old) went toe to toe for a few seconds they continued to square up to each other with no real  blows been struck.Next thing he let a gulder out of him at his grandson " holy ghost son leave thon cub alone sure he is like something that fell aff a man"

[aroundincircles]

for weeman who like a bit of oral "sure she could suck a basketball through a garden hose"

[BennyHarp]

"She's no show pony, but she'd do for riding about the house!"

[ExiledGael]

Few clinkers there.
'She could hold her own in a scrum' was another I heard used in relation to the larger lady and 'she's no stranger to a fish supper'.

[C_Berg_316]

have the women got none on us men?

'hung like a horse"  thats what they say about me anyway 

[saffron sam2]

For someone who looks a bit under the weather.

"His face is the colour of a boiled shite"*

* No, I have no idea what colour a boiled shite is.