Dumb People

[longrunsthefox]

Worked with a boy down the country, thick as two planks... he was asked a phone number and fellow was writing it as he said,  8-2-3-7-sumtin-sumetin-sumetin...

[Olly]

A few years ago I was playing a match against Cargan and there was a bit of a row during the last minutes. I turned to my marker and asked if he knew how it started. He then began to talk about Michael Cusack and Bloody Sunday and he was onto the Tailteann Games when I had cottoned on that he thought I meant the GAA itself. All this time the fight was still going on. It was a very funny time. Even yet I see him at functions and we laugh about it. I would buy a round and then say how did it all start and he's go on about the hops and the rest. Deadly crack.

[Rav67]

Was out in Derry city one night with a friend who was doing a post grad in Magee College, we where in the strand bar and my mate spyed these 2 girls and said come on and try these 2 things so we dandered over and started talking too them after a few minutes one of the girls said ( imagine the broadest Derry city accent ever )
Derry girl - " where youse from hye"?
Mate - " Dungiven"
Derry Girl - " Where's that at hye"?
Mate - "Where's Dungiven? your joking me?
Derry Girl - "Naw wheres it at hye"?
Mate - "You don't know where Dungiven is at? thats unreal, see when your going to Belfast its the first town you go through".
Derry Girl - "I've never been to Belfast hye".
Mate - "Well see when you cross the bridge, drive for about 15 miles and your in Dungiven".
Derry Girl - "The bridge over into the waterside"?
Mate - "Yep"
Derry Girl - "Sure what would I go over there for hye? Its alls prods over there.

Derry girls are thick as champ, the whole world revolves around Derry for them.

Worst idiot woman thing I've heard recently was a couple of days ago a girl seriously asked me "isn't there a bridge from england to Ireland somewhere?" She was sure she had seen this on tv.  The silly fecker has been to Dublin once as well.

[AZOffaly]

I was out in Phoenix one time, many moons ago, with an Aussie pal of mine. We were in the Blarney Stone (RIP) in Scottsdale, and there was some class of a Bud promotion going on. Anyway, we're playing darts and drinking guinness (God help us) when one of the Bud girls comes over to chat to us and try get us to drink cold urine.

Anyhow, after a few minutes we got the 'Oh my Gawd, your accents are so cool. Where are you guys from?'. Now, bad enough that we were in an Irish pub, and she couldn't spot an Irish accent, but the Aussie lad decided to test her general knowledge.

'He's Irish, but guess where I'm from' (He just stopped himself from saying 'G'Day Sheila')
'Ummm I don't know. Somewhere in Europe?'.
'Guess again. I'll give you a clue. Think of the Olympics.' (The Sydney Olympics had just completed).
'Oh my God. I don't believe it. Mandy come here.....' waves the other girl over frantically.
'You gotta meet these guys. This guy is from Ireland, and this guy is from Olympus'.

[muppet]

A Garda friend of me told me a few stories about a not too clever colleague of his who ended up with the nickname 'Thick Country Soup' as he was fond of his soup and the words 'thick' & 'country' seemed to fit well with him.

When he and another uniformed genius became inseparable they became known as 'Soup and Sandwiches'.

Just wondering has anyone here ever come across this pair in blue?

[ludermor]

Knew a lad who used ot be called Thick Country Vegtable but he wasnt a soup! 

[AZOffaly]

Knew a lad who used ot be called Thick Country Vegtable but he wasnt a soup!

Was that not Daniel O'Donnell?

[ziggysego]

Knew a lad who used ot be called Thick Country Vegtable but he wasnt a soup!

Was that not Daniel O'Donnell?

Watch yerself, that sorta thing could get you banned.

[gallsman]

There is a show over her called the newlywed game. anyhow the premise is that they stick say the wife in a booth and then put headphones on and yer man Bob the compere asks him questions about their relationship. he then switches them around and they compare answers, the more right answers, the better the prizes.

One fine day the smug git asked the husband were the strangest place they had ever made love, he told them the kitchen table, no big deal there, next the hubby heads off to the booth and they aske the questions off of the wife and when it gets to the strangest place they have ever made love she thinks for a minute and says.....................................

that'd be in the butt Bob.   

It wasnt the husband that did her up the aul durt road either, it was hysterical, the look on his face.

That story is usually told about a show on Australian radio.

[FL/MAYO]

Found this on An Fear Rua...great stuff

http://www.hof.org.uk/showthread.php?t=2403

You'll do some laughing at how stupid this person "stuwall" is and how long it takes the penny to drop ....priceless!

[Lady GAA GAA]

DirtyDozen12 claims that if you drink vodka and red bull you are sure to die 'at some stage.'

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

[Rav67]

I think it's well-established that that picture has been photoshopped

[Santino]

My da has a mate called 'Bungalow' because theres nothing upstairs.
Always thought it was a great nickname!

[Bensars]

I think it's well-established that that picture has been photoshopped

I remember that picure at the time and AFAIK theres was no talk of it being photoshopped initially