Dumb People

[tyssam5]

OK I know you won't believe this one, but this is the truth.

I was over for dinner at a mates house a few months ago and his missus cooked a great feed. We were chatting about food and I mentioned getting great lamb somewhere. His missus said she no longer ate lamb as she had only recently found out, to her horror, that lamb was in fact none other than baby sheep! She had found this little known piece of knowledge in a book of animals they had bought for their 6 month old daughter.

The fact that this was urban America and not rural Ireland did little to mitigate this act of extreme stupidity from a college educated woman in her 30's.

[Archie Mitchell]

ross4life

[ross4life]

ross4life

dump bin, wenn ich Sie müssen das dümmste Mensch auf diesem Planeten dann?

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

Almost certainly an Urban/Rural Legend, but there is the old story of the American tourist at Bunratty Castle. A tour guide is leading a group of Americans around Bunratty Castle, but there is one Yank making a lot of remarks about brown paper bags in Ireland. After a while the guide turns to the American and asks him what is his problem and what the hell does he mean by brown paper bags. The American loudly announces "You know what they say a about payments of corrupt politicians in brown paper bags and Ireland". Losing his cool the Irishman asks him what the fck has that to do with a tour of Bunratty, to which the Yank exclaims "Well Irish politicians must be very corrupt, in America you would never get planning permission to build a Castle so close to an Airport

[Hardy]

Yep, that's an old one. In pre-brown-bag times it was "gee, why'd they build the castle so close to the highway?".

Stew's one is ancient too. First heard it in Drogheda in the seventies about a "Mr and Mrs" (as the show used to be called on UK TV) quiz in Dunleer.

[fitzroyalty]

Was asked not so long ago was Lough Neagh man-made 

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

Was asked not so long ago was Lough Neagh man-made 

Was asked by Yank tourists about 15 years ago if Castlebar got its name because it had so many the pubs.   

Good job they didn't go to Stokestown, the lad looked like his cholesterol would be through the roof.

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

Was asked not so long ago was Lough Neagh man-made 

Fionn Mac Cumhaill & Sons Construction

[ziggysego]

A mate of mine (and also board member here!) that I've known of 3/4 years came to a realisation on Thursday - I'm a dwarf. Told me he never noticed before 

[heganboy]

A mate of mine (and also board member here!) that I've known of 3/4 years came to a realisation on Thursday - I'm a dwarf. Told me he never noticed before 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmU_q5xrnto

small vs far away

[Zapatista]

was asked in Australia if I ever seen a leprechaun Dumb git didn't know Leprechauns are extinct

[maddog]

We were in the pub one night there and the bit of aul trivia started. I asked the question "which is the only town in Ireland with a palindromic name?". So the lads were having a think about it and one of them who is from Swords (gas man but not much upstairs) goes out for a fag. The other lads worked out quick enough that it was Navan. So yer man comes back in from having a fag and it was obvious he had been asking someone outside so that he wouldnt look a stupid so and so when he came back in but whoever it was stitched him like a kipper. So the dub comes back in and says "i know what it is - ye need to get up a bit earlier to catch me like that - its Navan". "Sound well done Davo"
Then he says " and theres another town with a Palindromic name in the same county and you didnt know that did you". "go on then what is it"
Answer - Ashbourne

[Master Yoda]

lad i know has to take the biscuit, thick as champ...

"Boys, can you really get blood from a stone??"
"Here I've got the reflections of a cat!"
"Aye Co.Comerford.. aye I've been there, my da took me fishing there once" (We told him a new county had been created down south)
"Imagine you just looked at that tree and it gave ya cancer"
"Is there a Lurgan Man Utd!?"

This could be the same boy!! Hes from Lurgan

There was a guy worked with my cousin not sure what his name is but there were 3 other fellas with the same name as him on the site. The boss told him he was the last in so he had to change his name as it was too confusing having too many people with the same name..He then told him it was £1000 a letter to change his name so he would have to pick a short one....He went home that night to think about it and came in the next morning and chose Dave.......Still get's Dave to this day!!!

[/b]

That is hilarious.

[Hardy]

was asked in Australia if I ever seen a leprechaun Dumb git didn't know Leprechauns are extinct

Not according to the EU:

Newry Democrat (No date given).

EU protects the Little People

LEPRECHAUNS living in the mountainous terrain around Carlingford can breath (sic) a collective sigh of relief after their habitat was finally granted protection under EU Law.

The move comes after years of lobbying by lovers of the Little People who feared for the future of the wee folk.

In an official letter to the Committee for the Protection of Little People in Carlingford, the European Environment Agency confirms that the area defined inside the natural walkway known as The Slieve Foye Loop is to be given special protection under the European Union's Habitat Directive.

This provides, according to the letter, "increased protection to a variety of wild animals, plants and habitats and, in particular, the protection of the habitat of leprechauns – the Little People of Ireland".

The letter continues: "We are aware that Carlingford Mountain is unique in that it is the last recognised area of mountain in Ireland where these little people are known to exist.

"We are aware too that their numbers have dwindled to levels near to extinction. We in the EU are delighted to include this area under our protection as part of the global effort to conserve Ireland's, and the world's, biodiversity."

[Master Yoda]

Was out in Derry city one night with a friend who was doing a post grad in Magee College, we where in the strand bar and my mate spyed these 2 girls and said come on and try these 2 things so we dandered over and started talking too them after a few minutes one of the girls said ( imagine the broadest Derry city accent ever )
Derry girl - " where youse from hye"?
Mate - " Dungiven"
Derry Girl - " Where's that at hye"?
Mate - "Where's Dungiven? your joking me?
Derry Girl - "Naw wheres it at hye"?
Mate - "You don't know where Dungiven is at? thats unreal, see when your going to Belfast its the first town you go through".
Derry Girl - "I've never been to Belfast hye".
Mate - "Well see when you cross the bridge, drive for about 15 miles and your in Dungiven".
Derry Girl - "The bridge over into the waterside"?
Mate - "Yep"
Derry Girl - "Sure what would I go over there for hye? Its alls prods over there.