Gaaboard Allstars Exhibition match 2008: The Slurry Cup.

[Puckoon]

Gaaboard Allstars Exhibition match 2008: The Slurry Cup.


The Red Team.

Manager – Takeyourpoints: A silent sponsor of underage schools success, the time is right for this red coat to show us what he has learned as he manages this team of miscreants to SLURRY CUP glory.

1.   Evil Genius. The last guardian of "themmuns" who is prepared to gracefully field the high ball in the face of adversity. Expect plenty to be pumped in on top of him, and more than a few "square ball" infringements.
2.   TacadoirArdMhacha. The tenacious corner back from the orchard county almost left us for greener fields this summer. He stayed however and on a diet of liftin weights and 'fierce plain eatin' he will be up the arse of what ever corner forward comes his way.
3.   Tyrone 86.  Rumours abound as to the real identity of this poster, and whispers of an intercounty career carelessly fly around the board. With this manager unsure as to where to play him, full back ( a typically problem area for Tyrone teams) seems to be the safe spot for a man of his reputed caliber
4.   Hardstation. An autumn season of hard time has left this whippersnapper chomping at the bit to get back out and swing his hurl. Not sure if he'll play with the big ball or the little ball – but expect big things from this McCooey.
5.   AZOFFALY. His youthful exuberance belies his advancing years. A calming head and a creative influence in a half back line with a combined age of 312.
6.   O'Neill. A baldy genius from Tyrone. The opposition should be worried.
7.   Hardy. The Charraig Mor to the offaly man's creativity. Hardy learned his trade in the glory days of meath. Expect no 'action' on this side of the field after the throw in.
8.   Zulu. The breed them big down in Caark and contrary to popular belief – size matters. With his fitness at its peak, and his half backline on zimmer frames, much is required of this 2 time allstar.
9.   Ballyhaise man. Another fitness fanatic, and as he hails from cavan it's important to keep him away from the posts.
10.   Sligonian. This manager wants a Dooheresque type player at @#10. Who else but the man with the single mind for Yeats county glory?
11.   Midlouth. Controversial inclusion at CHF for the louth man. Selected here in the hope that he can twist and turn the CHB in a manner similar to his contributions to any and all threads concerning Tyrone.
12.   Magpie Seanie. A difficult wee hewer. Kinda like James McCarten. Hope he can shoot.
13.   Treasurer. Top of the left here we have the mild mannered lass from Offaly. She's probably gonna bring a hurl and want to play with small balls. I have half an inkling she might unleash some hidden psychosis under that mild mannered exterior. 3-4 expected from play.
14.   Pintsofguinness. The big man from the bridge is ready to prove the detractors wrong. You can eat a whole turkey for Christmas, be bigger boned than Geoffrey McGonigle and still whip a bit of ass at #14.
15.   BrokenCrossbar1. He may get old – but he still has the quality. We'll stick him in the corner and see how he gets on.



The white team.

Manager – Budweiser. Under the tutelage of "the bud" expect this team to be fit as fiddles. They have been ploughing fields and picking stones by hand in the offseason – all offset however with regular trips to the racetrack and the pub.

1.   Illdecide. In fairness it's basically a weight issue. That and a desire to see a true heavyweight clash between the man who'd get up on a cracked plate and the opposition FF (who might also get up on the cracked plate – but wouldn't need to tell anyone about it to show how hard he really is).
2.   Iceman.  Mentally and physically strong – a great choice for corner back. Our only concern is his strong morality. He's gonna have to learn to be a c@#t.
3.   Full back. To be honest this was the most hotly contested position after the naming of the opposition line up. There were hewers turning up for training left right and centre. We even had some boy with a down tracksuit and lots of gold rings try and threaten the manager insisting he had to start. Scary fella. Full back reckons he's the man however.
4.    Kerry Mike. The wily auld fox has toughened up some since he married the blade from Monaghan. He'll need all of it as he "gets to grips" with the blade from Offaly. She's gonna have a stick KM!
5.   Puckoon. I suppose his natural "Davey Harte" attributes ensured that this spot was only gonna ever have one taker. He's a natural like Davy, except for the hair, the speed, the stamina and the long range point taking. Rumour has it that Puck has a bigger tackle.
6.   Fear an strath ban. No one at training in Gaaboard HQ can quite figure this man out. His age appears somewhere between 20-60. Time will tell if this beer connoisseur needs his wine turned into water. A mouthwatering battle with mid louth awaits.
7.   Screenexile. Everyone was looking forward to seeing this fella at training. His reputation preceded him. Unfortunately like most Derry boys, it went to his head and his form has dipped severely. Makes the team on potential only. Keeps muttering things about that "feckin county board hi"
8.   Saffron Sam 2. This giant of a man needs no introduction. Can catch a ball one handed and stick it over from 60 yards, all while putting manners in some young pup on the board.
9.   Maguire 01. The boys weren't happy on the team bus with his musical snobbery – but that doesn't faze him. With his uber trendy hair cut, liberal attitudes and great engine – he's a natural midfielder for the times.
10.    Uladh. Another eldersatesman enjoying an Indian summer. He's basically there for the frees. The really really really long range ones. A cracking battle with hardy is promised. Unless they get sidetracked by the GPA. Has bandages and paper stitches in his socks just incase. Uladh has indicated that unless the board improves - this could be his final year.
11.    Tony Fearon. With O'Neill up his ass all day, the competition genius will be looking to 'win' frees at every opportunity. Expect him to want to swap shirts at the end of the game. With everybody.
12.    Leenie. Expect this sippery lass from Knockmany Forest to put the skid (marks) on AZOFFALY. AZ better lace up the togs tight. This one has been known to sleaze anywhere and everywhere.
13.   Gabriel Hurl. Well he just looks like a corner forward in exile. From an u-15 Feile. Played in the cold. White boots and all – this boy can score.
14.   Square ball. This mercurial talent picks himself. Provided he can get out from watching the kids and generally being a house wife. The boys have signed the petition. It's up to Mrs Ball to do the right thing.
15.    Gaoth Dobhair abu. As with most of the shaggers from that neck of the woods – the talent is limitless. Getting him off the grog for the game is the challenge for this team. Not helped by the manager's fondness for team meetings down the local. GDA may well be steaming.



Who wants a ticket?

[The Watcher Pat]

I'll be in the stand "watching"

Oh and our Niall loney can take all bets...

[mattockranger]

can i be ref??

just on ebay there and put in a bid for a referees jersey!!

[Gabriel_Hurl]

Hurl vs Hardstation in the corner. a battle of the loughshore

[Square Ball]

Truely classical stuff Puck..

[pintsofguinness]

Ha, great post puck.

[Minder]

I was wondering if youse would present some awards at my clubs juvenile presentation,what would the going rate be?

[Puckoon]

minded your best bet is tacadior. He'll do it for a feed of boiled shpuds.

[Gabriel_Hurl]

I was wondering if youse would present some awards at my clubs juvenile presentation,what would the going rate be?

After I roast HS in the corner and nab 2-2, I'll gladly do it for 400 quid, 2 ham sandwiches and half a bottle of Fanta

oh - and my mileage

[pintsofguinness]

I'd do it for a feed.

[Puckoon]

I'd do it for a feed.

Ive just done a quick calculation and Gabriel Hurl is still cheaper. By 100$.

[maggie]

its just like the old P.E. days-not picked for either team and left on the sidelines.
i'll make myself useful and quarter the oranges at H/T.

[pintsofguinness]

I'll probably be on my hands and knees puking after 10 mins maggie, so you could come on for me.

[stiffler]

Is EG gonna stand under AnaF? 

[Croí na hÉireann]

I was wondering if youse would present some awards at my clubs juvenile presentation,what would the going rate be?

After I roast HS in the corner and nab 2-2, I'll gladly do it for 400 quid, 2 ham sandwiches and half a bottle of Fanta

oh - and my mileage

This is a family show, there'll be none of that carry on, at all, at all...

Cracking post puck...