Great Newspaper Headlines.

[muppet]

BBC

Gazza brings an ostrich to training at Spurs: http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/33098985

[Mayo4Sam14]

About Dick Advocaat avoiding relegation with Sunderland:

Dick stays up

[93-DY-SAM]

http://www.mayonews.ie/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=22813:judge-not-hoodwinked-by-high-jinks&catid=23:news&Itemid=46&utm_content=buffer7c4da&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Judge not hoodwinked by high Jinks

A judge has convicted a man for driving on a public road with agricultural diesel in his jeep.
Judge Mary Devins convicted Noel Jinks of Upper Mullaghmore, Cliffoney, Co Sligo, appeared before Castlebar District Court on Friday last.
Mr Jinks had previously appeared in court last April where he claimed his nephew 'must have been smoking that morning' and put green diesel in his uncle's jeep by accident.
Colin Jinks, the nephew, told the court in April that he was 'heavily stoned on weed' that morning and picked up the wrong can when his uncle asked him to put diesel in his jeep.
He said he offered to give his uncle €1,500 to help pay the fine but his uncle would not accept it as Colin Jinks was borrowing it off 'money lenders' in Sligo.
Jinks said he remembered which can he put in, a blue can, and his uncle subsequently told him that was the wrong can. State solicitor Vincent Deane put it to Colin Jinks that he was 'very clear about what happened' even though he was 'heavily stoned'.
Vincent Deane argued that the reading showed a concentration of 105 per cent marked diesel in the sample, meaning there was no normal diesel mixed with the green diesel at all. Colin Jinks said he thought he remembered his uncle telling him the fuel was very low in the jeep. Vincent Deane said it was easy to be 'cynical about the chain of events'. 
Judge Devins adjourned the case until last Friday to allow her to consider the question of 'credibility'.
She ruled against Mr Jinks, stating that the fact that the entire contents of his jeep's fuel tank was green diesel meant it was unlikely to be a case of his tank just being topped up by his nephew.
Mr Jinks was detected having green diesel in his jeep at a Customs and Excise checkpoint in Kilkelly, Co Mayo on April 16, 2014. Mr Jinks said he was in Mayo that day to collect an injured donkey, in his role as a horse welfare officer.
Judge Devins convicted Noel Jinks and fined him €5,000, but mitigated this fine down to €2,500.

[omaghjoe]

http://www.mayonews.ie/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=22813:judge-not-hoodwinked-by-high-jinks&catid=23:news&Itemid=46&utm_content=buffer7c4da&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Judge not hoodwinked by high Jinks

A judge has convicted a man for driving on a public road with agricultural diesel in his jeep.
Judge Mary Devins convicted Noel Jinks of Upper Mullaghmore, Cliffoney, Co Sligo, appeared before Castlebar District Court on Friday last.
Mr Jinks had previously appeared in court last April where he claimed his nephew 'must have been smoking that morning' and put green diesel in his uncle's jeep by accident.
Colin Jinks, the nephew, told the court in April that he was 'heavily stoned on weed' that morning and picked up the wrong can when his uncle asked him to put diesel in his jeep.
He said he offered to give his uncle €1,500 to help pay the fine but his uncle would not accept it as Colin Jinks was borrowing it off 'money lenders' in Sligo.
Jinks said he remembered which can he put in, a blue can, and his uncle subsequently told him that was the wrong can. State solicitor Vincent Deane put it to Colin Jinks that he was 'very clear about what happened' even though he was 'heavily stoned'.
Vincent Deane argued that the reading showed a concentration of 105 per cent marked diesel in the sample, meaning there was no normal diesel mixed with the green diesel at all. Colin Jinks said he thought he remembered his uncle telling him the fuel was very low in the jeep. Vincent Deane said it was easy to be 'cynical about the chain of events'. 
Judge Devins adjourned the case until last Friday to allow her to consider the question of 'credibility'.
She ruled against Mr Jinks, stating that the fact that the entire contents of his jeep's fuel tank was green diesel meant it was unlikely to be a case of his tank just being topped up by his nephew.
Mr Jinks was detected having green diesel in his jeep at a Customs and Excise checkpoint in Kilkelly, Co Mayo on April 16, 2014. Mr Jinks said he was in Mayo that day to collect an injured donkey, in his role as a horse welfare officer.
Judge Devins convicted Noel Jinks and fined him €5,000, but mitigated this fine down to €2,500.

High Jinks couldn't see Clear??

[muppet]

http://www.mayonews.ie/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=22813:judge-not-hoodwinked-by-high-jinks&catid=23:news&Itemid=46&utm_content=buffer7c4da&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Judge not hoodwinked by high Jinks

A judge has convicted a man for driving on a public road with agricultural diesel in his jeep.
Judge Mary Devins convicted Noel Jinks of Upper Mullaghmore, Cliffoney, Co Sligo, appeared before Castlebar District Court on Friday last.
Mr Jinks had previously appeared in court last April where he claimed his nephew 'must have been smoking that morning' and put green diesel in his uncle's jeep by accident.
Colin Jinks, the nephew, told the court in April that he was 'heavily stoned on weed' that morning and picked up the wrong can when his uncle asked him to put diesel in his jeep.
He said he offered to give his uncle €1,500 to help pay the fine but his uncle would not accept it as Colin Jinks was borrowing it off 'money lenders' in Sligo.
Jinks said he remembered which can he put in, a blue can, and his uncle subsequently told him that was the wrong can. State solicitor Vincent Deane put it to Colin Jinks that he was 'very clear about what happened' even though he was 'heavily stoned'.
Vincent Deane argued that the reading showed a concentration of 105 per cent marked diesel in the sample, meaning there was no normal diesel mixed with the green diesel at all. Colin Jinks said he thought he remembered his uncle telling him the fuel was very low in the jeep. Vincent Deane said it was easy to be 'cynical about the chain of events'. 
Judge Devins adjourned the case until last Friday to allow her to consider the question of 'credibility'.
She ruled against Mr Jinks, stating that the fact that the entire contents of his jeep's fuel tank was green diesel meant it was unlikely to be a case of his tank just being topped up by his nephew.
Mr Jinks was detected having green diesel in his jeep at a Customs and Excise checkpoint in Kilkelly, Co Mayo on April 16, 2014. Mr Jinks said he was in Mayo that day to collect an injured donkey, in his role as a horse welfare officer.
Judge Devins convicted Noel Jinks and fined him €5,000, but mitigated this fine down to €2,500.

High Jinks couldn't see Clear??

Young Jinks wasn't the only one smoking that morning.

[Orior]

There must be a great headline here involving Julian Dicks and West Ham Ladies.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34465984

[muppet]

There must be a great headline here involving Julian Dicks and West Ham Ladies.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34465984

Hammer's women attack Hunt - Girls discharged by Nurse - receive comfort from Dicks.

[laoislad]

[muppet]

[muppet]

There has to be a better headline somewhere, but still interesting:

Witch Deirdre Wadding aims to be first pagan TD in Dail

[Never beat the deeler]

[muppet]

[ziggysego]

This has happened to me on more than one occasion.

[Never beat the deeler]

[Never beat the deeler]

http://www.mayonews.ie/news/28099-farmer-denies-trying-to-bite-sergeant-s-testicles