You know what really grinds my gears?

[ross4life]

funerals..

Just returned from one, a local lad i knew passed away, what grinds my gears is the whole set up of irish funerals e.g going around shaking hands with each & every family member not knowing what to say?

A life should celebrated & not mourned... for family to sit through that is terrible

[The Real Laoislad]

funerals..

Just returned from one, a local lad i knew passed away, what grinds my gears is the whole set up of irish funerals e.g going around shaking hands with each & every family member not knowing what to say?

A life should celebrated & not mourned... for family to sit through that is terrible

Maybe some family's take great comfort in it and find it helps ease the pain..
Do you not think it be worse if they were left alone with no one offering their condolences? 
And what do you mean not knowing what to say?
You shake their hand and say sorry for your loss,its not that difficult.

[pintsofguinness]

funerals..

Just returned from one, a local lad i knew passed away, what grinds my gears is the whole set up of irish funerals e.g going around shaking hands with each & every family member not knowing what to say?

A life should celebrated & not mourned... for family to sit through that is terrible

It's showing your support for the family, personally I've taken great comfort from it when in that situation.
Families aren't generally in the celebrating mood in the days after a loved one's death either.

[ross4life]

funerals..

Just returned from one, a local lad i knew passed away, what grinds my gears is the whole set up of irish funerals e.g going around shaking hands with each & every family member not knowing what to say?

A life should celebrated & not mourned... for family to sit through that is terrible

Maybe some family's take great comfort in it and find it helps ease the pain..
Do you not think it be worse if they were left alone with no one offering their condolences? 
And what do you mean not knowing what to say?
You shake their hand and say sorry for your loss,its not that difficult.

Sitting down for hours shaking hands with mainly strangers doesn't help ease the pain, should be a get together to celebrate the life, IMO family members are put on display having to sit through it & You have go to each member & say sorry for loss sounding like a broken clock in the end

Having sat through a lot funerals myself there must be a better way of doing it?

[pintsofguinness]

funerals..

Just returned from one, a local lad i knew passed away, what grinds my gears is the whole set up of irish funerals e.g going around shaking hands with each & every family member not knowing what to say?

A life should celebrated & not mourned... for family to sit through that is terrible

Maybe some family's take great comfort in it and find it helps ease the pain..
Do you not think it be worse if they were left alone with no one offering their condolences? 
And what do you mean not knowing what to say?
You shake their hand and say sorry for your loss,its not that difficult.

Sitting down for hours shaking hands with mainly strangers doesn't help ease the pain, should be a get together to celebrate the life, IMO family members are put on display having to sit through it & You have go to each member & say sorry for loss sounding like a broken clock in the end

Having sat through a lot funerals myself there must be a better way of doing it?

Not my experience or my family's either. 
What would you want people to do to "celebrate the life"?
and you're not required to say the same thing to every member of the family or even to say anything.

[ross4life]

When i say "celebrate the life" i don't mean some mad party, & sure you have the choice of saying something or not but IMO meeting the family members in the Pub after wards having the chance to sit with them for a proper chat about the good life he/she had helps ease the pain more

anyways the thread title say's it all "grinds my gears" everyone will have a different opinion on it

[pintsofguinness]

When i say "celebrate the life" i don't mean some mad party, & sure you have the choice of saying something or not but IMO meeting the family members in the Pub after wards having the chance to sit with them for a proper chat about the good life he/she had helps ease the pain more

anyways the thread title say's it all "grinds my gears" everyone will have a different opinion on it

You do that at the wake 

Everyone may have a different opinion on it but this is a discussion board 

[Puckoon]

funerals..

Just returned from one, a local lad i knew passed away, what grinds my gears is the whole set up of irish funerals e.g going around shaking hands with each & every family member not knowing what to say?

A life should celebrated & not mourned... for family to sit through that is terrible

Surely a bit of sincerity should get you out relatively unscathed. Unless of course the deceased was a shitehawk - in which case don't go or keep your opinions to yourself.

Just because words and phrases are used often - doesnt mean that their meaning gets diluted.

Would saying Happy Birthday to someone suck just because someone else said it too?

[ross4life]

When i say "celebrate the life" i don't mean some mad party, & sure you have the choice of saying something or not but IMO meeting the family members in the Pub after wards having the chance to sit with them for a proper chat about the good life he/she had helps ease the pain more

anyways the thread title say's it all "grinds my gears" everyone will have a different opinion on it

You do that at the wake 

Everyone may have a different opinion on it but this is a discussion board 

Yes have been to some funerals where we have met in the pub after wards, I have heard of funerals where they play the guitar and everybody sang, ate good food, wore bright colours and really had a joyous time talking about great memories. but it's all a matter of taste i guess

[Hardy]

One of the things we do very well as a people and a community, in my opinion, is how we handle death, funerals, support of the bereaved and all that goes with it. We're at our best when we're supporting our neighbours and friends through loss. I agree with pintsofguinness that the support of neighbours and friends is a great source of strength in coping with loss.

[ONeill]

The lack of pipe smokers.
The lack of bearded men.
The lack of moustached men.

[ziggysego]

The lack of pipe smokers.
The lack of bearded men.
The lack of moustached men.

I had a moustache last year. It tickled my nose, so I shaved it off. That and it looked like I was auditioning for the Village People. Don't like their music, Mika's where it's at now.

[Treasurer]

funerals..

Just returned from one, a local lad i knew passed away, what grinds my gears is the whole set up of irish funerals e.g going around shaking hands with each & every family member not knowing what to say?

A life should celebrated & not mourned... for family to sit through that is terrible

I used to avoid the shaking hands where possible, thought it was an endurance test for the family, especially at big funerals when they could be sitting in the church for hours shaking hands - until I was on the other side of it and found great comfort from it.  Can't say that it's the same for everyone, but I now make a bigger effort to do it.  And what you say doesn't matter in the slightest (well within reason!!)

I still cringe though when I think of the first Mass I was at after the funeral and someone offered me the sign of peace at the appropriate time and my response was "thanks very much" :S

[AZOffaly]

Slightly off a tangent, and it didn't grind my gears at all, but semi related to Treas' post. My English cousin (RC) was over one time when we were about 12 or so. She went up to receive communion, and when the priest says 'Body of Christ', she answers 'Thanks' I nearly split myself.

[pintsofguinness]

Not as good as the time we were at blessings of the graves on a windy evening, in the queue for holy communion, a cousin was in front of me and when the priest went to give her the communion it flew out of his hand, hit her in the face and landed 10ft away with the priest scurrying after it.