Things that make you go What the F**k?

[Handy]

Lying in bed most of the day sick, dreading another another day of work tomorrow because of this bug and the knowledge of the first snow is here tomorrow

Had it all weekend Ziggy - but still had to work, it's a bastard of a bug!

[muppet]

Old shites that play themselves instead of young lads, causing county finals to be lost.

First the bird, then the county final and now even old shites have stopped giving you the eye. Do you own shares?

[Puckoon]

People who drink coffee at the cinema 

Is there some sort of problem with drinking a cup of coffee at the cinema?

[pintsofguinness]

People who drink coffee at the cinema 

Is there some sort of problem with drinking a cup of coffee at the cinema?

Yeah, it's a bit weird.


Coming home this evening, dark and pouring down, and I near run over this silly bollocks standing on the middle of the road on a roundabout messing with chain (I assume) of his bicycle!

[peterquaife]

Rick O'Shea on the wireless pronouncing Duke Special, Dook Special in his mid-Atlantic drawl...NO NO NO!

[Hardy]

Duke Special (who ain't that special) and the amount of exposure he gets on the wireless. His agent must have dodgy pictures of RTE producers. 

[DrinkingHarp]

Sydney pub row erupts after faeces found in icecream
   


1 hr 47 mins agoSYDNEY (Reuters) – A bitter row has broken out between one of Sydney's largest tourist pubs and a family of five who accused chefs of serving human excrement in their gelato after they complained about noise during a football match.

State government food minister Ian Macdonald confirmed on Wednesday that frozen faecal matter had been found in a serving of chocolate gelato offered to placate pub patron Steve Whyte and his wife Jessica, who became "violently ill" after eating it.

"The stench went through my nostrils, I retched and spat it into the napkin," Jessica Whyte told the Daily Telegraph newspaper, recounting what local media are calling "gelati-gate."

The tainted sweet was allegedly served up at the Coogee Bay Hotel, one of Sydney's largest and most popular beachfront hotels, located just a few minutes south of Bondi Beach.

The pub has denied serving excrement to the Whyte's after they complained they were unable to hear a televised football game due to loud music, with both the chef and restaurant manager volunteering for DNA tests to prove their innocence.

Both sides have accused the other of money seeking, with the Whyte's claiming they were offered A$5,000 (2,000 pounds) in hush money by pub General Manager Tony Williams, while they in turn were accused of trying to negotiate up to A$1 million in damages.

The argument over accusations of "kitchen revenge" has shocked Australians, leading into an expected searing, gelato-friendly summer, capturing national headlines for days.

Macdonald said DNA analysis would now be done to determine if the sample was of human or animal origin as police and food authorities investigate the case.

"Obviously, we are keeping an open mind and do not want to pre-empt this investigation in any manner," he said.

The eastern Sydney hotel is standing by staff and on Tuesday said its own lab tests on the chocolate gelato tub had found no evidence of contamination.

(Reporting by Rob Taylor; Editing by David Fox)

[Puckoon]

Lose lose scenario there - either they did it, or their gelato tastes like shite.

[wherefromreferee?]

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/femail/article-1081355/The-100-000-white-wedding-16-year-old-girl-lives-caravan.html

[The Real Laoislad]

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/femail/article-1081355/The-100-000-white-wedding-16-year-old-girl-lives-caravan.html

I'm sure every penny of it was hard earned honest cash....

[Sandy Hill]

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/femail/article-1081355/The-100-000-white-wedding-16-year-old-girl-lives-caravan.html

I'm sure every penny of it was hard earned honest cash....

You can bet it was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ziggysego]

Japanese man petitions to marry comic book wife

A JAPANESE man has enlisted hundreds of people in a campaign to allow marriages between humans and cartoon characters, saying he feels more at ease in the "two-dimensional world".

Comic books are immensely popular in Japan, with some fictional characters becoming celebrities or even sex symbols.

Marriage is meanwhile on the decline as many young Japanese find it difficult to find life partners.

Taichi Takashita launched an online petition aiming for one million signatures to present to the government to establish a law on marriages with cartoon characters.

Within a week he has gathered more than 1000 signatures through.

"I am no longer interested in three dimensions. I would even like to become a resident of the two-dimensional world," he wrote.

"However, that seems impossible with present-day technology. Therefore, at the very least, would it be possible to legally authorise marriage with a two-dimensional character?"

Befitting his desire to be two-dimensional, he listed no contact details, making it impossible to reach him for comment to explain if his campaign is serious or tongue-in-cheek.

But some people signing the petition are true believers.

"For a long time I have only been able to fall in love with two-dimensional people and currently I have someone I really love," one person wrote.

"Even if she is fictional, it is still loving someone. I would like to have legal approval for this system at any cost," the person wrote.

Japan only permits marriage between human men and women and gives no legal recognition to same-sex relationships.

Japan's fans of comic books, or "manga," sometimes go to extremes.

Earlier this month, a woman addicted to manga put out an online message seeking to kill her parents for asking her to throw away comic books that filled up three rooms.

Sourced news.com.au: http://www.news.com.au/technology/story/0,25642,24576437-5014239,00.html

[DrinkingHarp]

Australia: No residency for boy with Down syndrome
     

Associated Press Writer Tanalee Smith, Associated Press Writer – 19 mins ago AP – German doctor Bernhard Moeller, right, with his wife Isabella and son Lukas, 13, are pictured at their ... SYDNEY, Australia – A German doctor hoping to gain permanent residency in Australia said Friday he will fight an immigration department decision denying his application because his son has Down syndrome. Bernhard Moeller came to Australia with his family two years ago to help fill a doctor shortage in a rural area of Victoria state.

His temporary work visa is valid until 2010, but his application for permanent residency was rejected this week. The immigration department said Moeller's 13-year-old son, Lukas, "did not meet the health requirement."

"A medical officer of the Commonwealth assessed that his son's existing medical condition was likely to result in a significant and ongoing cost to the Australian community," a departmental spokesman said in a statement issued Thursday by the Department of Immigration and Citizenship.

"This is not discrimination. A disability in itself is not grounds for failing the health requirement — it is a question of the cost implications to the community," the statement said.

Moeller said he would appeal the decision.

"We like to live here, we have settled in well, we are welcomed by the community here and we don't want to give up just because the federal government doesn't welcome my son," he told reporters.

Moeller has powerful supporters. Victorian Premier John Brumby has pledged to support the family's appeal, and federal Health Minister Nicola Roxon said Friday she would speak to the immigration minister about the case.

Roxon said the case must go through proper channels — an appeal to the Migration Review Tribunal and then the immigration minister — but that "there is a valid reason for this doctor and his family to be eligible to stay here in Australia."

"As a government, we understand the importance of having doctors working in our rural and regional communities and we support them in many ways and continue to do this," Roxon said.

Don McRae, director of clinical services at Wimmera Health Care Group, said the hospital had invested a lot of time and energy in recruiting the German specialist to Horsham, about 100 miles northwest of Melbourne.

"We were very surprised by the decision," he said of the immigration department's rejection. "It's distressing for Dr. Moeller's family and distressing for the community who have welcomed him and relied on his medical services."

Immigration Minister Chris Evans has no power to intervene in the case until the review tribunal or a court upholds the department's decision.

David Tolleson, executive director of the Atlanta-based National Down Syndrome Congress, said he was disappointed by the decision.

"What is the cost implication to the community of a doctor shortage?" Tolleson asked. "I assume the son had the same costs for the last two years and they were happy to have the family and use the dad as a doctor."

Down syndrome, caused by an extra chromosome, is characterized by mental retardation of varying degrees. Those with Down syndrome also can have other problems: Nearly half will have a heart defect, some serious enough to require surgery soon after birth.

Tolleson said that people with Down syndrome have a spectrum of abilities.

"Some need more support, some go on to graduate from college with a four-year degree, and most are somewhere in between," he said.

The immigration department said it appreciates Moeller's contribution to the community but said it must follow the relevant laws in considering residency applications.

"If we did not have a health requirement, the costs to the community and health system would not be sustainable," the statement said.

More than 150,000 migrants settled in Australia in 2007-08, the department said.

Shortages of medical practitioners in rural parts of Australia have led a number of recent government initiatives to boost the numbers of doctors and nurses nationwide.

[ziggysego]

E-mail error ends up on road sign


The English is clear enough to lorry drivers - but the Welsh reads "I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated."

When officials asked for the Welsh translation of a road sign, they thought the reply was what they needed.

Unfortunately, the e-mail response to Swansea council said in Welsh: "I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated".

So that was what went up under the English version which barred lorries from a road near a supermarket.

"When they're proofing signs, they should really use someone who speaks Welsh," said journalist Dylan Iorwerth.

Swansea Council became lost in translation when it was looking to halt heavy goods vehicles using a road near an Asda store in the Morriston area

All official road signs in Wales are bilingual, so the local authority e-mailed its in-house translation service for the Welsh version of: "No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only".

The reply duly came back and officials set the wheels in motion to create the large sign in both languages.

The notice went up and all seemed well - until Welsh speakers began pointing out the embarrassing error.

Welsh-language magazine Golwg was promptly sent photographs of the offending sign by a number of its readers.

Managing editor Mr Iorwerth said: "We've been running a series of these pictures over the past months.

"They're circulating among Welsh speakers because, unfortunately, it's all too common that things are not just badly translated, but are put together by people who have no idea about the language.

"It's good to see people trying to translate, but they should really ask for expert help.

"Everything these days seems to be written first in English and then translated.

"Ideally, they should be written separately in both languages."

A council spokeswoman said: "Our attention was drawn to the mistranslation of a sign at the junction of Clase Road and Pant-y-Blawd Road.

Other confusing signs

"We took it down as soon as we were made aware of it and a correct sign will be re-instated as soon as possible."

The blunder is not the only time Welsh has been translated incorrectly or put in the wrong place:

• Cyclists between Cardiff and Penarth in 2006 were left confused by a bilingual road sign telling them they had problems with an "inflamed bladder".

• In the same year, a sign for pedestrians in Cardiff reading 'Look Right' in English read 'Look Left' in Welsh.

• In 2006, a shared-faith school in Wrexham removed a sign which translated the Welsh for staff as "wooden stave".

• Football fans at a FA Cup tie between Oldham and Chasetown - two English teams - in 2005 were left scratching their heads after a Welsh-language hoarding was put up along the pitch. It should have gone to a match in Merthyr Tydfil.

• People living near an Aberdeenshire building site in 2006 were mystified when a sign apologising for the inconvenience was written in Welsh as well as English.

[pintsofguinness]

Just seen an advertisement for "Warner Hotels" and when they said "exclusively for adults" I thought I was hearing things but a quick google search and I found this:

Warner Leisure Hotels are the UK's leading hotel company which is exclusively for adults. You are guaranteed not to disturbed by children as no-one less than 18 years old is allowed into the resorts.

http://www.promotionalcodes.org.uk/promo-codes/warner-leisure-hotels-offer/

But a further search and I discover these places are quite common?  Why have I never been told about this?