was at the Armagh - Westmeath game a while ago, and this man sat down in front of me, and my da said: Thats your man ___ ______ who is always writing letters into the papers! any idea who it is??!!
got me thinking, what ae the funniest things people have ever heard at a GAA game?
another from the same day: walking out of cusack park and caught the end of a conversation between two westmeath fellas....
"So what did you do next?"
"Well, what could i do? I fecked off to Kinnegad and got him out of the well, didn't I?"
;D
I wonder what preceded that ?
What about the manager along the line who as the full back got to about the fifty appealed in a very loud tone for him to "GIVE HER THE SEMTEX" which was a call to the full back to kick the ball as hard and as long he possibly could ! ;D ;D ;D ;D
I was at the All Ireland Final in 2006 with Mayo and Kerry in Hill 16. At HT the Mayofans were chanting "BRING ON CORA STAUNTON" :D...they had a point :P.
10 mins to go in one our club games last year, it was very close and the ref made a bad decision which brought uproar from everyone. A member from our bench roared "Go home ref!" and he looked over and said "OK then." and away he went off the pitch and into the changing rooms. Took about 15 mns negotiations to get him to come back out and finish the game. Farcical, but very funny.
Who was he
it was our very own tony fearon
I know this may have been heard before but the ould lad told me before when playin senior hurlin gchampionship in Galway in the early 1980s a supporter from the opposition shouted out....'bring off tony and put on no one'....he was referrin to his son!! ;D
Dont know if this qualifies cause i said it myself.
Mayo v Kildare in a National league match in Crossmolina some years ago. Colm Mac and Brian Lacey exchanged a few digs near the sideline. A bunch of middle aged kildare fellas started roaring at the ref and linesman to get action taken against McMenamon. '' Mayo s No11 linesman ! no!11''. Could nt let them away with it so I shouts down to them. '' Shut up for f**ks sake. The Tipperaryman started it!'' ;D
They pretended they did nt hear me but never opened their mouths for the rest of the match.
Dromintee game a few weeks ago.
Referee going to tick one of our forwards.
'Turn round number 13.'
old underage manager used shout at one of our main forwards"____ ______ your kicking like a woman!" the lad used get death in school!!
Quote from: charlie stubbs on April 27, 2008, 05:46:25 PM
old underage manager used shout at one of our main forwards"____ ______ your kicking like a woman!" the lad used get death in school!!
Here, there's more than 2 missing words in those 2 sentences!
(Also, is that what passes for 'best things heard' in any category?)
Another comment to a ref, "There will be no sandwiches for you!""
Quote(Also, is that what passes for 'best things heard' in any category?)
yet another newcomer on this board trying to police/quality control the contribution of others.
Quote from: Mike Sheehy on April 27, 2008, 09:26:46 PM
Quote(Also, is that what passes for 'best things heard' in any category?)
yet another newcomer on this board trying to police/quality control the contribution of others.
687 posts, how long to you have be on the board to not be a newcomer?
years count, not posts...
Quote from: heganboy on April 27, 2008, 09:42:36 PM
years count, not posts...
So how long do you have be on here to not be a newcomer??
Quote from: Mike Sheehy on April 27, 2008, 09:26:46 PM
yet another newcomer on this board trying to police/quality control the contribution of others.
Eh? What's that supposed to mean? I've been posting on this Board only a number of months less than yourself. Surely i can pass opinion on a discussion board, no? I didn't realise i had to serve time before being 'fully-fledged'!
I stand by my post to question whether being accused of 'kicking like a woman' is great humour.
It's not policing - it's just my opinion.
I was leaving the Old Cusack Stand one day, walking behind two very posh, haughty old ladies, or so I thought.
It was pouring rain very heavily and everyone on stand or terrace was soaking wet.
One turns to the other and says," Are ye wet , Mary?"
She spoke in a broad Mayo accent, same as my own.
"Wet?" says the other, also pure Mayo. "I'm so wet there's rivers runnin' down be the hasp of me arse!"
I couldn't stop laughing for weeks; it wasn't so much what she said but the fact that I had imagined both would have real toffee-tongued accents.
BTW, can any lady out there please tell me where the hasp of her arse is anyway?
Not one I heard but was told to me about a famous Ardboe man, who ,when involved in management,stood up on the bus and said 'hands up anybody who's not here'!
Was at a monaghan waterford ladies football final a few years back in croker (98 I think). Can't remember what exactly happened, but a monaghan player must have put in a late or dirty challenge on her opposite number. It infuriated the Waterford man sitting right behind me, who stood up and shouted (in a fantastically funny accent) "Ye Monaghan whoore ye," at which point his wife hit him a belt and shouted "Seamus!" It had me laughing for the rest of the match.
Quote from: bigpaul on April 27, 2008, 10:48:41 PM
Not one I heard but was told to me about a famous Ardboe man, who ,when involved in management,stood up on the bus and said 'hands up anybody who's not here'!
Thats definitely true!!! And I am almost certain it was either the same individual or his brother who delivered the following as outlined by orangeman:
Quote from: orangeman on April 26, 2008, 12:51:36 PM
What about the manager along the line who as the full back got to about the fifty appealed in a very loud tone for him to "GIVE HER THE SEMTEX" which was a call to the full back to kick the ball as hard and as long he possibly could ! ;D ;D ;D ;D
Part of Westmeaths warm up for Saturdays game consisted of them shouldering each other in a big mill. Comment heard was that it was a wonder that the Dubs weren't joining in...
not wanting to monitor the quality of hardstation story
only i heard it about it happened to christy ring about 50 years ago with the addition of yer man looking dubtfully at ring and asking 'what kinda of sums' to which Ring replies 'hard sums'
A couple of years back my club were playing another club, with a notorious reputation for late hits and and boxing, in a reserve football championship match. The game itself was dire to say the least but contained one of the most hilarious forms of justice ever witnessed.
The game had been a niggly affair from start to finish and both sets of fans were very vocal and were def not covering themselves in glory, but there were these 2 old codgers supporting the other club hanging over the fence at the side of the pitch, who were disputing every decision and constantly questioning the marital status of the ref and the linesmens parents.
Mid-way through the second half, one of their half-backs who had been pulling and hauling men of the ball from start to finish and had put in a few late hits, started on one of our younger forwards right in front of these 2 codgers. They roared encouragement to their clubmate as "that wee yella b*****d needs manners put on him". Then what started as a bit of pushing and shouldering changed to their man boxing the young forward from our club in the mouth. This brought a roar of approval from the old codgers who were now foaming at the mouth (I suspect this could have been rabies but I cant be sure without proper testing)
The young forward from our club didnt want to appear soft and gave the Half-back a token bitch slap on the face. This incensed the Half-back and he started wrestling with the forward, and incensed the old codgers who shouted more and more abuse at the forward and more and more encouragement to their man. After a few seconds of doing the GAA tango they let go of each other, but the fun didnt stop there.
The 2 old codgers began harassing the linesman on that side who apparently had seen the handbags but hadnt done anything or said anything to the ref and just wasnt intrerested as it had all calmed down. Calls of "Hi lineman are your f**king eyes painted on" and "c'mon Linesman you yella b*****d, do yer job that wee f**ker has to go", could be heard as far away as the other sideline. After a few minutes of this abuse the linesman approached the ref at the next break in play.
He pointed in the direction of the half-back from the other team and the young forward from ours and the old codgers cheered in excitement as they could smell justice in the air and were baying for blood. Our young forward was informed "You'll f**king get what you deserve now, you dirty wee b*****d" and their defender was told "You wont have to worry about him now ________ "
And they were right. The ref briskly walked over to the two players like a man on a mission an spoke to both very quickly and sent their half-back of!!
The two old codgers had essentially got their man sent off as the lineman wasnt goin to do anything until they started on him to speak to the ref.
F**king priceless, and f**king hilarious.
Quote from: billy the kid on April 28, 2008, 11:47:11 AM
Calls of "Hi lineman are your f**king eyes painted on" and "c'mon Linesman you yella b*****d, do yer job that wee f**ker has to go", could be heard as far away as the other sideline. After a few minutes of this abuse the linesman approached the ref at the next break in play.
Ah yes, that much loved and often heard proclamation,
Do Yer Job Linesman!
I don't know what was said, but I was at an Ulster Club Hurling Final at Cushendall years ago between the home club & Ballycran I think it was. Anyway, I saw a young fella being press ganged & he was duly thrown over the fence onto the pitch side. Some ould fella of about 90 had got carried away & the false teeth had flown outta the mouth amid all the slabberin, over the fence & onto the turf. The young lad was thrown over the fence, lifted up the teeth as per instructions (although gingerly & with great reluctance), handed said teeth back to the ould lad, who stuck them back into his gob & he then resumed the commentary as if nothing had happened.
For anyone who has ever played in Ballinascreen comments can be heard anywhere around the pitch.
Remember one day years ago, Derry were playin a National League game, cant remember who against but its regardless.
It was the early stages of the League and Enda Gormley was havin a quiet game by his standards in them days, pre-christmas Enda had spent a few weeks in Florida and it was showin, balls were goin into him and the corner back was givin Enda a rite roastin.
The Derry following was gettin alittle frustrated to which one hard core supporter shouted, "Hi Gormley go back to Florida, your rid out!!!!"
One of the most hilarious things i've ever heard, i think even Enda and the corner back had a laugh at it.
This oul fella was sitting next to me during a Meath game against Laois i think a few years back in Navan, and Meath had just made a come back near the end and when Gerathy sent over the score to put us in the lead the oul lad bursts out singing
Just one cornetto, give it to me..........
??? Made no sense what-so-ever but we couldnt help laughing our heads off
God I have a million of them.
In a match against Glen a few years ago we had the classic line from one All Ireland Winner to Another... "YE LAY DOWN LIKE A CALF GORMLEY!"
Another was when Screen played Ballinderry in the semi final of the championship and I was watching the game when one of my mates came on who was just 19. There were no kicking tees then and Mickey C used to bring a bucket of sand to build a mound for his kickouts. When one of our supporters saw Mickey building this mound on the 21 he roared at our player "Paul Devlin... PAUL DEVLIN... scatter that sand castle... SCATTER THAT SANDCASTLE!"
One of my personal favourites is "Get that man a saddle".
I'm sure I'll remember a few more and I'll fire them in when I do.
Ardboe were playing Omagh yesterday and one of Ardboes more vocal followers bellowed out "ref book that badger!" when the referee was talking to an Omagh player after he had been involved in a bit of an altercation - nearly wet myself laughing.
Back in 2005 there was a double header on in Clones. Monaghan were playing London in a qualifier and Armagh were playing Donegal in an Ulster semi final replay. A few of us went along to support Monaghan and we obviously stayed on for the second game.
Standing behind us on the Hill was this idiot from Armagh who spent his time slabbering abuse at anyone within earshot throughout the Armagh vs. Donegal game.
There was about 5 or 10 minutes to go and Armagh were winning well so we decided to head for the exit and get away before the traffic. As we walked across the front of the Hill yer man roared after us: "Aye, go way and fcuk off Monaghan. Sure who the fcuk are London anyway?" to which one of my mates, without a second's hesitation, roared back "You should know. They're from the same country as yourself".
That retort got the biggest cheer of the day (from Donegal and Armagh people alike). I still laugh when I think of it :D
An U-16 league game and the home team were up by 8 or 9 points with time almost up. The manager tells one of the less gifted subs to warm up. (This normally meant run down along the sideline to the endline and back to mid-field and the slip would be ready for the sub to run on). The manager fills in the slip and looks up to send on his man when in the distance he sees him headin for the dressing room. Sometimes actions speak louder than words
When confronted after the game the young lad reckoned it wasn't worth his while going on for just a few seconds so he decided to head on home.
On another occasion a veteran forward got into some strife and looked to the linesman for assistance but when none was forthcoming he barked at the linesman - "Take the hair out of your eyes ya baldy ba*@ard"
Overheard at a club match recently in Down, a rather vocal and somewhat nasty Ardglass supporter(they are all the same) shouted at the ref who's first name is gabriel,
'who the f**k names their son Gabriel ye poofy bastard ye?'
Some years ago at a championship match between Knockmore and North Nayo divisional side. A North lad got lamped off the ball by a Knockmore player [ completely out of character for Knockmore at that time ;D] The referee saw nothing and called on attention for the young fella. I was with a few lads including a couple of Knockmore lads. I saw the strike but was nt sure who was responsible so i whispered to M*** beside me ''was it ***** ****** that levelled him''? He confirmed in a loud voice, that could be heard 10 yards away, that it was indeed the fella i suspected.
'' It was ******. Is nt he a cushin of me own. Gave to to him straight in the kisser fair play to him''.
The Crossmolina linesman M*** H*** was doin the line and heard this as he inside the wire just in front of us. His ears pricked up and although he had seen nothing, a minute after the incident he put up his flag ran in, pointed out the fella he overheard M*** say was responsible and the culprit was duly redcarded.
In effect my friend had got his clubman and 'cushin' the line. We gave him some stick.
At the same game a lad I know was doin a veteran tigerish marking job on a very young Knockmore player, who would have been in his first year playin senior and had just come on as a sub. ***** says to him.
'' Christ you must have been on an awful tear last night entirely. You did nt get home at all''
Young fella says ''what de fcuk you on about I was nt drinkin last night''
**** says '' Dont be tellin lies, you were out all night''
''How the Fcok would you know what I was doin last night''?
''Well I was with your mother all night and you never came home''
There's always the Poc Fada lads .
Don't start fighting lads for f**ks sake yiz will only lose that as well .
The Rosary , two aul ones from Donegal . Beads out and all .
I think someone told this one before but it's still a classic about playing in America against a team with a few yanks.
Anyway the yank was marking some Irish fella and a bit of pushing and verbals ensued. The yank duly said he had fcuked the young Irishman's mother to which the Irishman said there was no way! The Yank was very adamant that he did so the lad shouted up to his team mate up front... "Here Mick, this dickhead says he rid me Ma last night!" to which Mick replied "He's a lying bastard! Sure she didn't leave my house til 9 this morning!!!"
Replay between Armagh and Donegal a few years back, the only game they could get for a warm up was Cavan v Donegal in the Ulster hurling shield. It was puke hurling of the worst order. No one was watching it, not even the Donegal ones would cheer for their own county.
A big Donegal man stood up and shouted,
Get them useless eejits off the pitch !!. Put the band back on and play a few tunes!!
Best thing heard at a GAA match?
The final whistle on September 22nd, 2002.
Why was it a fancy blast, did he get the timing right of the whistle. Was it a beep beep beep or beeeeeeeep beep beep?
Was in Parnell at the weekend and a bit of a scuffle went up infront of us and the ref called the Kerry man over with the Derry man (can't recall who) lying on the ground, the crowd close by started chanting off off off in true mob style with the hands up pointing to the sideline. Some quite drunk fella beside me started shouting 'crucify him, crucify him'. Assume he wasn't being literal but thought it was hilarious.
Apologies for another of the "I said it myself" ones.
I was at the Down SHC final about 2-3 years ago at Portaferry. Unusually, my better half agreed to accompany me, on promise of lunch / few bevvies in the Portaferry Hotel beforehand.
During game, Ballygalget right half back clears the ball out of play & over the fence. Saw it coming & avoided aforesaid sliotar. But, wife gets the ball right on the nose, no real damage done, but eyes watering.
All I said to her was "only 1 prod in the entire ground & he got ya".
After the Ulster Final Replay in 2006.
"They shot the wrong Michael Collins".
2005. God damn it!! >:(
"Get your hair out of your eyes Canavan"
Quote from: BennyHarp on April 28, 2008, 09:36:18 PM
"Get your hair out of your eyes Canavan"
Was that at the 2005 AI Final? A Kerry man shouted that out near me.
Quote from: ziggysego on April 28, 2008, 09:40:51 PM
Quote from: BennyHarp on April 28, 2008, 09:36:18 PM
"Get your hair out of your eyes Canavan"
Was that at the 2005 AI Final? A Kerry man shouted that out near me.
I've heard that a few times over the years!
Quote from: BennyHarp on April 28, 2008, 09:44:45 PM
Quote from: ziggysego on April 28, 2008, 09:40:51 PM
Quote from: BennyHarp on April 28, 2008, 09:36:18 PM
"Get your hair out of your eyes Canavan"
Was that at the 2005 AI Final? A Kerry man shouted that out near me.
I've heard that a few times over the years!
I man I heard it off was laughing away. Then Canavan got the goal and he turned very bitter. Issusing death threats at the Tyrone players and was willing on any Tyrone supporters around him. He was a man in his 60s. We were all laughing our heads off. His poor wife on the other hand was morified at him.
An old soldier, Danny Haughian (probably passed on by now - if so RIP) used to ride his bike to all Down matches and was a real character who added entertainment for those around him at matches.
I remember back in the 80s, when Liam Austin, famous for fielding superb high catches before falling to the ground ball in hands floundering about what to do with it like a Giraffe in it knees. On one such occasion the boul Danny was heard to shout
"Austin, you're like a duck in thunder".
Never met anyone who could explain that phrase to me (anyone here shed any light about duck behaviour in a thunder storm?) but at the time Danny's words seemed to capture the moment perfectly for all within earshot. Howls of laughter all around.
Quote from: In the Onion Bag on April 28, 2008, 10:43:40 PM
An old soldier, Danny Haughian (probably passed on by now - if so RIP) used to ride his bike to all Down matches and was a real character who added entertainment for those around him at matches.
I remember back in the 80s, when Liam Austin, famous for fielding superb high catches before falling to the ground ball in hands floundering about what to do with it like a Giraffe in it knees. On one such occasion the boul Danny was heard to shout
"Austin, you're like a duck in thunder".
Never met anyone who could explain that phrase to me (anyone here shed any light about duck behaviour in a thunder storm?) but at the time Danny's words seemed to capture the moment perfectly for all within earshot. Howls of laughter all around.
"like a duck in thunder" has also been used since the late 18th century to mean "having a forlorn and hopeless appearance."
Quote from: hardstation on April 28, 2008, 09:04:11 PM
Quote from: ziggysego on April 28, 2008, 08:59:54 PM
After the Ulster Final Replay in 2006.
"They shot the wrong Michael Collins".
???
Why, if you lay your hands on a ref twice you deserve to go.
Quote from: haveaharp on April 29, 2008, 09:21:59 AM
Quote from: hardstation on April 28, 2008, 09:04:11 PM
Quote from: ziggysego on April 28, 2008, 08:59:54 PM
After the Ulster Final Replay in 2006.
"They shot the wrong Michael Collins".
???
Why, if you lay your hands on a ref twice you deserve to go.
Jaysus, your some craic haveaharp - i dont think ziggy meant to start another discussion about that game! It was just a funny quip! Next you'll be asking what the kerry man meant by telling cananvan to take his hair out of his eyes - sure isnt peter bald?
I can remember getting an e-mail about GAA quotes (i think it was an Armagh game in the late 80's and it went something like this)
An Armagh supporter shouted onto the pitch to one of the players who was having a stinker "For f**k sake if the manager won't take you off save yourself the embarrassment and take yourself off". Now imagine back then and only a few hundred at the game everyone would have heard that :D :D :D
In a recent ulster league match, there was a bit of an incident over by our sideline and one of our more vocal supporters had a go at the opposing player, who was sent off for the incident. the dismisssed player then looses the reg completly and goes for our supporter, swearing blind at the time,' im gona f**king kill your you f**king dirty c__t.
To which our supporter replies, 'you watch your f**king language, theres f**king kids about'.
Im sure its been heard a million times before, but it was hilarious all the same.
Two instances spring to mind straight away. Fianna were playing Ardboe a few years ago. Frank McGuigan jnr was giving Brian Rafferty from the Fianna a bit of a roasting. Raff fouled McGuigan on a particular occasion to which an Ardboe supporters shouts "if a schoolmaster asked you to draw a footballer and you drew Brain Rafferty you would be expelled!" I laughed for the rest of the game.
The second instance i did not hear myself but a Carrickmore player said to a ref (whose sexuality has been questioned in the past) "you would know more about behind Clonoe toilets you fruit ye".
I was a young 16 or 17 year old starting to play a bit of adult football, and came on for a Junior championship match against Durrow in Tullamore. I was sent in at corner forward and was marking your archtype junior corner back, except this lad had white hair and a white beard.
Of course, me being young and a legend in my own mind, got a couple of scores off him, and after each one said 'Thanks for the present Santy'.
Then we got a 45, and I was standing in on the end line, beside the edge of the square. Our centre forward missed on my side, and as I jumped to try and punch the ball back into play, the corner back 'accidentally' hit me a ferocious box in the nose as the ball sailed over our heads.
I was sitting on my arse looking up at him in disbelief.
'Ho f**king ho. Happy Christmas'.
Edit: I learnt a valuable lesson that day, and never opened my mouth to try and wind up anyone ever since.
I like that one AZ.
Sorry if I've told this one before, but years ago Snitchy Ferguson, corner forward for Dublin, walks up to the Louth corner back after the National Anthem and gives a couple of sniffs. "There's an awful smell of cowshite around here", he says. Whereupon the corner back draws out and breaks Snitchy's nose with a punch. "Ya won't be smelling anything for a while now".
Jaysus Hardy, and Snitchy even gave Meath an All Ireland winner afterwards :D That's no hard feelings anyway :D
That's right AZ. (But that incident was against Louth. You hardly think a Meath corner back would behave like that!).
Oh sorry. I read that wrong. I thought you said Meath, and nothing else in the incident made me think otherwise :D
I was playin in a championship match a few years ago, and when we got ahead the boy i was marking started coming out with all the oul insulting slagging stuff and kept saying "Come on hit me, take your best shot" obviously trying to get me sent off, to which i replied, "I'm not as stupid as you look." This must have took a few minutes to register with him, but about 5 minutes after the penny must have dropped, cos he gave me a haymaker from behind, ripped my lip into shreds and shook the teeth. It was him who promptly got sent off ;D Its something that i didnt thing was funny at the time what with the busted mouth and all!, but its one that lookin back still makes me laugh
Brendan Mulholland R.I.P, big bellaghy stalwart at a match one day, his son rose to fetch a ball and after a short delay said "is our boy down yet"
got a laugh then and still gets a laugh any time its told
Loughmacrory supporter to a Dungiven native in a club games in Tyrone last weekend "go back to Londonderry you sc**bag". It even warrented a mention in the gaelic life on Friday.
Declan Flanagan (Ex County player) was playing for our Junior C team about 4 years ago. Must have been near 40 at the time. Playing CF and was been marked by a young cub who spent the first half staring at Flanagan. Eventually in second half the young fella, asks Flanagan "Did you used to play with the County?"...Flan looks at him and says "No...that was my brother". Young fella looks confused and embaressed. Then Flan turns to him and Says "Did you used to play with the county?". Young fella, nervously laughs, says no and is bright red for rest of game.
Flan was some character. After the 85 NFL when Monaghan beat Armagh in Croke Park, Flan (after playing the full game) spots someone from Blayney leaving as the team goes up for presentation. He shouts after them if they were going straight home, they say yes, heading now. Flan tells them to wait outside hogan he'd get down road with them. He was one of the first home that day.
Back in 80's senior team playing away and big Gunnar Brady was been lifted at the house by some of the others. Car pulled up to lift him and in it was Nudie Hughes, Flan & Stefan White. Gunner comes out see who is the car and tells them to drive on, he wasn;t getting in. They couldn't change his mind, he said he'd get another way. He eventually landed at match and manager asks him why didn't come with the boys. The Gunner replied "How the f*ck would you expect me to play a match after sitting in the car with them 3 nut jobs!!!"
at the recent derry tyrone league match after a bit of banter a tyrone supporter shouted at his derry counterpart there's no london in tyrone to which the derry man said there's no hospital in tyrone either
Quote from: bredaghgael86 on April 29, 2008, 10:50:42 AM
In a recent ulster league match, there was a bit of an incident over by our sideline and one of our more vocal supporters had a go at the opposing player, who was sent off for the incident. the dismisssed player then looses the reg completly and goes for our supporter, swearing blind at the time,' im gona f**king kill your you f**king dirty c__t.
To which our supporter replies, 'you watch your f**king language, theres f**king kids about'.
Im sure its been heard a million times before, but it was hilarious all the same.
This reminded me of a spake an Armagh man said to me on the morning of the all-ireland in 2003. I know although not strictly at a GAA game but in dublin that morning with a bit of a hang over on me i was waiting at the queue for the hole in the wall - there was an armagh lad at the machine and he came away effing and blinding. I asked the obvious question - "is it broke?" to which he replied "aye, the f**kin things f**kin f**ked"!! Spoken like a true irishman!
Quote from: ziggysego on April 28, 2008, 08:59:54 PM
After the Ulster Final Replay in 2006.
"They shot the wrong Michael Collins".
Brilliant :D :D :D
again, not strictly at a gaa game but a lad who used to play seniors came up with two of the greatest speaks i ever heard....
"what dya call that place in tyrone.......T, T,T, T....Pomeroy!"
"no pressure...he's as cute as a cucumber!"
At the recent Monaghan v Westmeath league game in Clones the announcer was giving out the half time scores.
"At half time its Dublin 5 points Meath 5 points and there have been 5 players sent off"
A minute later he comes back on again and announces
"Sorry the half-time score is actually Dublin 5 points, Meath 4 points and there are STILL 5 players sent off"
Also at the recent Monaghan vs. Westmeath game in Clones;
The teams were warming up before the game and Westmeath were down at our end. The Westmeath midfielder (someone Duffy I think) is a big lad and the man behind me says "Jaysus look at the size of No.8 - you should need planning permission to play him".
We had a lad playing full forward who was, how can I say this, never too far from the table when dinner was put out.
Anyhow, we were in the dressing room before a match and he was up on the masseur's table getting a rub. One of the lads said 'Jaysus Patsy (masseur), I hope you're getting paid by the acre'.
Paddy Hennessy, a tough player and no-nonsense Sligo ref, got a bollockin off a player who had been overly-harrassed while on a 30m solo run. Mid-run he'd had his jersey pulled, lost the ball,picked it clean off the ground and Paddy waved play on. There was a challenge as the Forward kicked wide.
Player:"FFS ref..wher's my free ya bollocks?"
Paddy"Ah now young lad...if that ball was any more on the ground ye'd have needed a shovel to pick it up!"
Limerick Junior Football match, a Hospital supporter roars at ref as wing back winning a break ball is being saddled:
"C'mon ref...he's trying to make a girl out of him".
1sr FBD game between Sligo and Ros, interest levels low all around and ref is ready to go except for absence of an O'Neills.|Roars over at Sligo line "Sligo Sligo ...a football"
Response "Ah ref...everyone knows there's no football in Sligo"
There was a fairly useless lad that played with us that the uncle used to hate, and one day he had one of those games when everything went right for him. We won a low scoring match 6-5 and he scored 4 from play. After the game we commented to the uncle about how well yer man played....."Ah sure what did he do only catch the ball 4 times and kick it over the bar!"
Another one I heard was a young Damien Reilly marking Nudie Hughes. The game throws in and Nudie says to him - "fine big crowd on the hill today Damien". Damien has a look and turns back to the game and there is the bould Nudie 30 yards away banging the ball over the bar!
Another one I heard was a junior game in Fermanagh, it was a serioulsy hot day and the teams lined out, one with a full forward (lets call him Mick) who was too old to play full back! Just before the throw in there was an awful smack and there was the full back laid on the ground with Mick standing beside him. The ref ran in and asks what happened - "Must have got sunstroke" says Mick!
at a premier reserve match between mayobridge and kilcoo in kilcoo, the match was tense and hard-hitting!! Mickey Cole (SDLP counillerr and current NMDC Mayor) was referreeing.. for anyone who dos not know Down football, Mickey never blows his whistle, he lets everything go, i mean everything!!! anyway our corner forward had the ball and was surrounded by three kilcoo players, he was getting fouled , kicked , punced etc finally he lost the ball and a free was given to Kilcoo.. our player and Mickey had words but walking away our player shouting as clear as day- "no wonder no one support the SDLP", everyone was laughing, even the ref! ;D
I was at a B match in Lurgan years ago and Clann Eireann's full forward was about 22 stone and 6'4" he was absolute rank and some guy behind me says to his mate "i see the big no14 wasn't bullied at the trough"
Junior B final couple years back.
One of the other teams supporters (good age) would be a right drinker and at this stage no-one would tell if he's drunk, sober or on the wagon. He shouts and roars throughout the game and never makes any sense or can be understood and would hang off the sideline wire.
Anyways of their players has a pop for a point from about 30 yards in front of the post. Horrible effort that sails off towards the corner flag and wide.
As clear as day and if he was delivering a srmon on mount he suddenly declares "Theres no posts out there". Minute later he's back shouting, roaring and making no sense whatsoever.
I think for alot of these stories you would actually need to be present/know the characters involved to fully appreciate the humour!
QuoteI think for alot of these stories you would actually need to be present/know the characters involved to fully appreciate the humour!
You're dead right about this one!!
About 30 years ago I was a ringer on a team from Trinity College that went to Scotland for an Easter trip. (We played the Scottish Universities in a hurling/shinty hybrid game.)
Naturally enough, every last one of us was half-cut for every game and none more so than the only real hurler on the team. I had to carry him home to the digs on my back one night.
The game the next day was pure panic as the opponents were dead keen to claim a victory and most of us were only able to pull on anything that moved. One of our backs hit an almighty clearance up field and all of us were looking skywards to watch its flight. The lad outside me was digging his opponent in the back, jockeying for position as the ball began its descent.
Me and my marker started to jog out towards it too, with me keeping a friendly grip on his jersey.
Suddenly, at the last moment this fella, the one I had to jockeyback home, wheeled around and raced off towards a seagull that had just landed on the pitch. He drew an almighty skelp on the poor seagull and it was so wild that he toppled over and went sprawling. Me and the lad marking me were so stunned we just let the ball dribble by us and go out over the line.
Yer man stands up and looks around in amazement:
"Jaysus," sez he," I could have sworn the ball landed here somewhere."
There's a storey about a veteran Niall Cahalane marking a young fit looking Colin Corkery in county championship game between Castlehaven and Nemo Rangers a decade or two ago.
Cahalane says "How're you doing"to Corkery and says "You're girlfriend looked pretty hot last night". Ball is punted down into the Nemo full forward line and, as the ball is dropping, Cahalane adds " and she looked pretty wrecked when I finished with her this morning". Niall cleaerd the ball and cleared out young Corkery for the remainder of the match.
The old dog for the hard road..............
Its only a rumour that Seamus Moynihan done the same thing to Corkery in the 2002 AI Semi ;)
Two of the best I have heard involve Sean O'Neill from Cooley. His a big midfielder, a sort of throwback to the 60's and would go on as if he's from that era even though he's only about 27.
We would have a big rivalry with Cooley, and we were beating them by a couple of points in a league match in Cooley. So Cooley management throws big Sean onto the square for last few minutes. He's marking Colin Goss, Louth's regular full-back and an absolute beast of a man. Anyway, the ball is being humped in and the two boys are wrestling each other and neither of them has any interest in the ball, they both end up on the ground to which O'Neill says: "Come here to me Goss, don't make me put you over me knee"! I nearly pissed myself when I was told!
Another one is from the championship final last year. O'Neill didn;t start because he got a red in the quarter and only got it overturned that week. Anyhow, we were winning well and they sprung O'Neill on to curb Paddy Keenan's influence. He was only on a few minutes and a scuffle broke out after he caught PK late. O'Neill turns to PK and says: "I'm going to empty your tank this day, Keenan"
Galway minors played Kilkenny in the All Ire semi final in '88. The cats (Carey, Ronan, O'Neill, Carter, etc) were walking it.
Ronan was injured in the second half and the Kilkenny doc was stitching him on the field. As the time went on a disgruntled Galwayman shouts out: "If ye don't hurry up he'll be over age!"
Have heard a few round the club from back in the day -
Sean Nail was a typical old style full back - arms like tree trunks,would have walked through you before he'd have have walked round you and loved a scrap.He was marking one of his workmates in an u21 championship semi final when the row went up at the other end of the field.Sean turned round and lamped the workmate - "f**k me Sean, what'd you do that for?' says his mate when he'd gathered himself. Sean says "By the time we get down there the row'll be over so i thought we'd start one here!'
Another oul fullback in the 70s was pedar.same mould as Sean but a dirty hallion as well.they were playing a festival match and pedar was marking a county man - first ball came in and the wee full forward won it, skinned pedar and stuck it in the net.pedar came out shakin the head. a few minutes later the ball was at the other end when a roar went up from the crowd.the referee ran up the other end where the wee county man was lyin out cold with pedar standing beside him with his arms folded.'what happened here' says the ref.'Pedar says, droll as f**k, "I think that boy fainted"
keep em coming me sides are splitting :D
Was over home in Omagh a few years ago and went to a league game between Omagh and Donaghmore. Craic was mighty on the line, banter flying everywhere. The wife couldn't believe it!! Anyway, an Omagh goes down under a heavy challenge and the shout goes up from behind us
"Get up ya wee bastard, you're not made of delft, are ya?"
My da told me this one a few years back - he heard it in Clones at an Ulster championship game i think.
About 5 mins into the first half of the senior game the stadium announcer comes on and makes an announcement:
"Could the owner of the car with reg number XYZ 1234 please return to their car as it's causing a disruption." Then, 5 minutes later the stadium announcer comes back on:
"Could the owner of the car with reg number XYZ 1234 please return to their car as it's causing a major disruption." The, finally, another 5 minutes later:
"Could the owner of the car with reg number XYZ 1234 please return to their car as it's been involved in an accident."
The whole crowd was in stitches!
Aul lad loves telling this story of playing a match years ago and one of the teammates got the belt of a hurl to the head and was gushing blood. Manager comes over, takes one look at him and says "Ah ur grand, get back out there, sure I often cut myself worse shaving"!!!
Quote from: take_yer_points on April 30, 2008, 09:04:38 AM
My da told me this one a few years back - he heard it in Clones at an Ulster championship game i think.
About 5 mins into the first half of the senior game the stadium announcer comes on and makes an announcement:
"Could the owner of the car with reg number XYZ 1234 please return to their car as it's causing a disruption." Then, 5 minutes later the stadium announcer comes back on:
"Could the owner of the car with reg number XYZ 1234 please return to their car as it's causing a major disruption." The, finally, another 5 minutes later:
"Could the owner of the car with reg number XYZ 1234 please return to their car as it's been involved in an accident."
The whole crowd was in stitches!
something similar at a mayo championship match last year or the year before.
an announcement came on
'would the owner of car regestraiton number 12456 please remove it as its causing an obstruction.'
again a few minutes later
'would the owner of car regestraiton number 12456 please remove it as its causing an obstruction.'
however the last time the announcer came on
'would the owner of car regestraiton number 12456 please remove it immediately.................... or it will be moved for you.'
Possibly apocrphyal, but numerous lads swear to it.
A local derby was going on in, back in the day, in the Offaly county championship, between Shannonbridge and, I think, Rynaghs. These things usually ended in a few rows and lo and behold after about 10 minutes, a lad got a savage dig, and was taken off with the wobbly legs. This being pre-civilised times, there was no doctor, or no medics around, so a supporter of one of the teams, who owned a big auld station wagon, was press-ganged into bringing the casualty into the local doctor, so your man was laid out in the back of the car and the team selector who brought him over to the car went back to his duties.
Anyway, about 10 minutes later, he looked over and the station wagon was still parked, with your man sitting up in the back of it looking out the window, and the driver having a fag leaning on the bonnet.
'f**k's sake Tommy, I thought you were going to bring him to the doctor?'
Tommy looked at the selector in genuine surprise, put out his fag and said 'Jaysus Sorry Peter, I thought you wanted me to wait for the full load'.
Probably apocryphal as well....but wasn't there an announcment made at the end of a game in Healy Park once....
"This is a public safety announcement.....be wile careful when yiz are leavin...."
There was a corner back gettin a roasting from the corner forward in a local club league match. One ol lad down at the wire says to the other "He isn't gettin tight enough", the other replys "sure he isn't within a townland of him"
99 USFC Down v Antrim in Newry and Down were starting to pull away and a fella with a broad West Belfast accent shouts over to a mate... "I read in the Good Friday Agreement we were supposed to beat these boys!"
Hurling match in west Belfast involving Sarsfields and another Belfast club.
The ref warns one of the Sarsfields lads to take it easy after a rough pull - " That man has to go to his work in the morning".
The lad reples "What do you mean ref sure he's on Disability benefit?"
A neighbour of mine always tells me of a game that happened 20 or 30 years ago. There was two brothers playing on the same team and one of the brothers took an awful slap from an opposing player.The other brother sprinted across the field to throw himself about, and ran into the middle of the melee. "Who hit our boy" he asked, and one of his teammates pointed at the monster of a man who was standing there over 6 feet tall with his fists clenched. The man, having seen the size of his prospective opponent, took one step back and said "Is that the f**ker?"
Awful funny...
One from me playing days, was a bit of a corner or full back somedays and anyway if the opposing forward had kicked a wide or two I would always mention in his ear at the next kickout, "They'll be taking you off soon I suppose", which is not what you want to hear after missing a possible score but it used to drive them clean mad. Sure enough next mistake by the forward or ball I would get the paw to, off he would be taken, "Told ya so" I would mention when he was leaving, the poor old corner forward was an easy target to be subbed early.
And one I still use to great effect espeically when playing the Langers and if we are winning well and the Langer fans are starting to head for home, shout out "Lock the gates and make them suffer".
And famous last words, was on Hill 16 in 1982 in the pissing rain and I remember shouting "we have them" when up by 4 points and a few minutes to go. >:(
not quite at a football game but i couldnt let it go.
Every year they have horse racing on the beach in Doolough (mayo). Its always a great session. This time Kiltanes greatest star was making a guest appearance so down comes Dorans Pride. As he is paraded around in front of the tents their was a lad in a wheelchair near the front. Across the loudspeaker the PA for the comes comes out with the following 'will the wheelchair please move out of the way of the horse'
You wouldnt believe it if ya seen it in Father Ted. And the lad who said it was was/is a county councillor
I doubt the truth off some of Tieroans post earlier regarding Carrickmore players but you never no!
This one WAS said though. It occured during the 2001 county final between Carrickmore and Errigal. Mark Harte was lined out for Errigal and Corner forward and at that stage a young dual player called Paul Daly was playing corner back. The opening exchanges were non too friendly all over the field which included Harte recieving a slap about the head. Hartes response was "you would no more about Hurling Daly, wait to you see how football is played." 45 minutes later Peter McDonnell the then Errigal manager was giving Harte the long finger. Daly tapped Harte on the shoulder when he was going off and said "whats it like to be roasted by a hurler?" In fairness Harte shook his hand and said well done. Two minutes later Canavan missed a free to draw the game which the bould Mark would scored all day.
Monaghan v Meath in Croke park last year for the Div 2 semi final. Meath hit a couple of early goals and a young Monaghan fella in good spirits stands up and shouts
"All stewards to the exits please, all stewards to the exits"
Now that I think of it, this wasn't funny.
Up at Croker for the massacre at the hands of Kilkenny, about 10 minutes into the second half, an announcement came over the tannoy.
'Attention all Offaly supporters, an early train will leave Heuston Station at 5.45'.
Quote from: ludermor on April 30, 2008, 09:51:06 PM
not quite at a football game but i couldnt let it go.
Every year they have horse racing on the beach in Doolough (mayo). Its always a great session. This time Kiltanes greatest star was making a guest appearance so down comes Dorans Pride. As he is paraded around in front of the tents their was a lad in a wheelchair near the front. Across the loudspeaker the PA for the comes comes out with the following 'will the wheelchair please move out of the way of the horse'
You wouldnt believe it if ya seen it in Father Ted. And the lad who said it was was/is a county councillor
I heard about that one at the time - pure north mayo alright ;D
A legendary Armagh hurling managers...
..."Lads a hurling match is like a baby.....If ye take it to the see side, you dont leave it behind ye."
Heard on Lewis Road in Killarney after trimming the langers' sails.
Two fine hefty young wans in high heels striding towards Scotts Hotel for a gallon of Ritz before getting the Hiace back to Cork. One steps into a pile of Horse manure deposited by one of Killarney's Jaunting Cars - "I tells you them f**kers does that deliberate coz they knows we wont be wearing wellies leaving the ground."
QuoteAnd one I still use to great effect espeically when playing the Langers and if we are winning well and the Langer fans are starting to head for home, shout out "Lock the gates and make them suffer".
Bit of plagiarism there KM as I first heard that used by Cork supporters in 1987 replay when the Kingdom were getting a hiding. Language a bit more colorful though!! I suppose ye have blocked out memories of that era.
QuoteBit of plagiarism there KM as I first heard that used by Cork supporters in 1987 replay when the Kingdom were getting a hiding. Language a bit more colorful though!! I suppose ye have blocked out memories of that era.
Yerra the 4 times we have had the langers trying to stampede out of Croke Park in recent years has dulled any pain left over from the dark days from the end of the 1980's and early 1990's :P
And the 5 All Irelands since the famine period ended has helped too, feck it if we win this year, Darragh O'Se in his 13 year Kerry Career will have as many All Irelands wins as the county of Cork in over 120 years.
Cork Footballers - the Glory years - 1890, 1911, 1945, 1973, 1989, 1990.
QuoteYerra the 4 times we have had the langers trying to stampede out of Croke Park in recent years has dulled any pain
So there was pain KM? One of the best ones I heard around 1990 was "What did Nelson Mandela say when he was released from Robben Isand" - " The big issue now is when will Kerry get out of Munster" :D
As for AIs sure for a hurling county Cork don't do too badly - for the average GAA man (or woman) in Cork the AI is on the first Sunday in September.
At an All-Ireland Semi-Final a couple of years back and some aul fella behind me was casually chatting to his wife.....
"I say Eithne, there'll be no cows milked for a week if we win here today."
Tyrone man to Mulligan after he'd let a long ball head over the endline v Derry in the 2003 draw at Clones: If thon was a fish supper you'd catch it.
QuoteSo there was pain KM? One of the best ones I heard around 1990 was "What did Nelson Mandela say when he was released from Robben Isand" - " The big issue now is when will Kerry get out of Munster"
As for AIs sure for a hurling county Cork don't do too badly - for the average GAA man (or woman) in Cork the AI is on the first Sunday in September.
Not really much pain in 1987, when it took a Cork team who were nearing their peak, two games to finally beat a team of old and crippled Kerrymen.
The great Double celebrations came to a grinding halt in 1991 on a great day in a Munster semi final in Killarney, John Cronin buried the ball in the Langers net, with what subsequently was found out was to be possibly the worst ever Kerry team. That Double winning team will always be flawed as they never beat a good Kerry team in that period :P Yerra lock the gates and make them suffer indeed.
As for All Ireland wins, 2008 could really be a horrible year for the Langers if KK and KY pull off their 3-in-a-rows.
Kilkenny winning the Hurling and going ahead of Cork in the Hurling roll of honour would be painful enough but Kerry also winning the football and going ahead of Cork in the overall winners roll of honour would surely have any self respecting Corkionian heading for cover. For a football county we will be forever be gratefull for 1891...
Thats what I miss on this board a bit of banter with the langers.
Quote from: Kerry Mike on May 02, 2008, 12:25:54 AM
Thats what I miss on this board a bit of banter with the langers.
Aaahhhh... how the axes of power shift, we'll do our best to make up for it K Mike... and yes, we
have some making up to do... though watch this space ;)
We look forward to it Mr SB
QuoteThis is a public safety announcement.....be wile careful when yiz are leavin
Close enough.................said at a league match couple of years back but at start of game "This is a safety annoucement.be wile careful"
Healy park also produced the following classic..(paraphrasing)
would the owner of a (names make of car)........(names colour).......number (gives exact number plate) ...............parked at (gives precise details of location)..please go to your car as the window is down...............................
Not quite at a football match but close to Croke Park ahead of (I think) the Mayo Laois game in 2006.
After a session the night before myself and a few of the lads actually weren't feeling too bad so we said we'd get into Drumcondra early, get the breakfast and head in for the start of the first of the treble header that day.
Anyway as we make our way in (from Santry) we spotted very few Mayos at all. Parked the car in one of the streets behind McGrath's pub and still no sign of the Mayo's. All we hear is Dublin accents and a few from some of the counties playing before us. As we are about to turn onto Drumcondra road walking alongside the canal one of our group says 'Jesus lads, are we the only ones that bothered coming up'? With comedy timing we turn onto Drumcondra Road and nearly bump into a real agricultural Mayo lad with the 1996 jersey on him screaming into the phone to a mate 'where d fcuk did you go ta, ya fcukin cnut ya' in the coarsest Mayo accent imagineable.
We nearly fell over laughing!
our U10 manager used to come out with things that would make you laugh all the time but on i can remember well was him saying to one of the lads who couldnt carry the ball very well "son, you're like a snail going to jerusalem"
Not heard at a match and it has been on here several times before but its worth another mention....
It involves the Ballygar-St. Brendan's hurling club in Galway where a major dispute reared it's head at the AGM. The chairman is reportedly a straight-talking bachelor of questionable diplomacy. Amidst the row, a newly appointed priest took the floor commenting on how the GAA should be a focal point for the 2 parishes, not a source of argument. He continued on about how everyone should pull together for the good of the club and see the club as a unifying force.
The chairman stood up and said: "Thanks a lot for that now Father, but that's the kind of shite that sickens my hole."
Quote from: 5 Sams on May 02, 2008, 11:49:20 AM
Not heard at a match and it has been on here several times before but its worth another mention....
It involves the Ballygar-St. Brendan's hurling club in Galway where a major dispute reared it's head at the AGM. The chairman is reportedly a straight-talking bachelor of questionable diplomacy. Amidst the row, a newly appointed priest took the floor commenting on how the GAA should be a focal point for the 2 parishes, not a source of argument. He continued on about how everyone should pull together for the good of the club and see the club as a unifying force.
The chairman stood up and said: "Thanks a lot for that now Father, but that's the kind of shite that sickens my hole."
Thats the first thing i've read in a long time thats actually made me laugh out loud!! ;D
QuoteDouble winning team will always be flawed as they never beat a good Kerry team in that period
Using that criteria KM the last 3 AIs ye won are also flawed as ye did not beat a good team!! Fair play to you 100% for effort.
We bate yis twice last year isn't that enough for ye..
Anyway back to the thread.
Was at the Munster v Ladyboys game a few weeks ago in the RDS and while Leinster were well ahead there were a few D4 knobs in the stand giving it loads about Munster being shite.
Anyway this was going on for ages and finally my buddy turns around to them and says "shut up ye f**kers, when ye are shovelling the horse shit out of this place in May we will be over in Cardiff winning the European Cup again" That shut them up...
"
Quoteshut up ye f**kers, when ye are shovelling the horse shit out of this place in May we will be over in Cardiff winning the European Cup again" That shut them up...
Id say KM the sublety of that retort would be lost on them!!
"Our lads are in the WHITE shirts"... after yet another wayward pass in a league game earlier in this season ;)
At a first round Ulster Championship game in Healy Park a few years ago (circa 2003), as the refreshments man trudged his way through the terraces at half-time bawling "Mars bars and Marathons, Mars bars and Marathons...", beads of sweat dutifully gathering and promptly marching down his furrowed brow and where it was plainly obvious that he had nothing else but Mars bars and Marathons, my pal shouts: "ANY HATS, FLAGS, OR HEADBANDS?"...Impressed he was not.
A little later, as Fermanagh introduced Stephen Maguire as a substitute, he roars "Is he one of the Fermanagh Maguires?"
Though the funniest thing I ever heard at a GAA match was a fairly vociferous Kerryman just behind my left ear at the final on Hill 16 in 2005: "Where's Peter Canavan?", says he, with not a little volume, and just about 30 seconds before Canavan buried the ball in the back of the Kerry net. What timing! ;D
I remember being in Healy Park one evening for a championship game involving Errigal Ciaran, things were not going Errigals way and they were under pressure. Not far from were i was standing was a wee man from the Loughshore who did a bit of gambling! It was obvious from his actions that he had a "few" bob on the fancied Errigal, suddenly Eamon Mc Cafferry won a ball out along the line in front of us, in his attempt to feed the ball into Peter the Great he put the ball out over the endline..... at that the wee Loughshore man lost it and roars in at Mc Cafferry.. "if you were in primary school you would be expelled for that, you cnut ya!!! :D :D
Tyrone V Derry in the Ulster Championship, Clones, shortly after the General Election which Sinn Féin won all three MP seats in Tyrone constituencies and SDLP made gains in Derry consituencies:
Derry fans began singing their usual chant: "There's no Sam Maguire in Tyrone, no there's no Sam Maguire in Tyrone.."
To which the Tyrone fans spontaneously responded "And there's no SDLP in Tyrone! No there's no SDLP in Tyrone...!" Followed by laughter and cheering from the rest of the Tyrone support around the area!
The fella singing "just one cornetto"... ha ha ha ha ha ha ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Funniest thing I've ever seen on this board!
Fuckin classic, i can just imagine some Cavan redneck doing the same thing!
I remember being at the Ulster final in 2002 between Cavan and Tyrone, some redneck (in a white Massey Ferguson cap no less) shouted out, "Bring on Mickey... Mickey tricky"... about Cavan sub Mickey Graham.
Why "Mickey Tricky" I don't know, but he was a 70 year old redneck in an MF cap...
A Cookstown players said to a Carmen player in the Tyrone league last week "did you ever hear of a hairbrush?" The Carrickmore players reply was "did you ever hear off a dentist" then he broke a few off his teeth.
Quote from: tieroan on May 07, 2008, 04:25:20 PM
A Cookstown players said to a Carmen player in the Tyrone league last week "did you ever hear of a hairbrush?" The Carrickmore players reply was "did you ever hear off a dentist" then he broke a few off his teeth.
f**king Quality!!!
At Derry Tyrone Match in Healy park 2006 (Tyrone scoreless at HT) and Enda Muldoon Done something good with the ball, cant right remember, and the few derry Supporters around are all shouting "go on big Enda"
My friend then says to us all in a very loud voice " Is'nt it Enda Muldoons dog thats from Derry and thats Why he is allowed to play for us."
Turns out a few of Endas Ballinderry Clubmates were standing in front of us and they werent to happy About it.
Getting the before match team talk from the manager at a minor championship game in ballykinlar his quote "get out there lads and take on shit its dog eat dog out there" we stepped out off the changing rooms to see a dog sitting in the middle off the park. The look on the managers face priceless!!
Quote from: tieroan on May 07, 2008, 04:25:20 PM
A Cookstown players said to a Carmen player in the Tyrone league last week "did you ever hear of a hairbrush?" The Carrickmore players reply was "did you ever hear off a dentist" then he broke a few off his teeth.
He really ought to have known better ! ;)
This hairbrush and dentist thing is news to me. It is very funny though. I wonder who the two players involved were? The game was on a Thursday night so I dont think hair was a priority to many of the Carmen lads. I have an idea who it may have been though.
Apparantly this is a quote from Art McRory after he had selected his son - out of the blue - to play a first round championship match i think against Down at clones a few years back - at the time tyrone where really struggling for a big dominating midfielder and big Art says - "I've searched the county high and low for a big hallion of a midfilder to do a job in midfield for us - and i found him sitting in my living room!"
Quote overheard from Eugene mckenna 10mins into the same game - "Art, get your son outta there - he's drowning"
Was beside a few a them myself, didn't look all that used to so many buildings in one place. There was a bit of smoke coming from on up the west, "must be burning a bit a heather over the road there".
Quote from: Hollow Man on May 07, 2008, 01:58:58 PM
The fella singing "just one cornetto"... ha ha ha ha ha ha ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Funniest thing I've ever seen on this board!
Fuckin classic, i can just imagine some Cavan redneck doing the same thing!
I remember being at the Ulster final in 2002 between Cavan and Tyrone, some redneck (in a white Massey Ferguson cap no less) shouted out, "Bring on Mickey... Mickey tricky"... about Cavan sub Mickey Graham.
Why "Mickey Tricky" I don't know, but he was a 70 year old redneck in an MF cap...
The Ulster Final in 2002 between Cavan and Tyrone. Are you some sort of Holocaust denial, flat earth society person.
Armagh beat Donegal in the 02 Ulster Final (and many other Ulster Finals too)
Quote from: ExiledGael on May 18, 2008, 07:02:40 PM
Was beside a few a them myself, didn't look all that used to so many buildings in one place. There was a bit of smoke coming from on up the west, "must be burning a bit a heather over the road there".
Well i was in the City at one stage today and it looked like that was exactly what was happening on the mountains.
Nicked off the Kerry GAA Discussion Board..
During Kerry-Dublin minor game (followed by Kerry-Meath in the seniors) in '01.
2 Dubs sitting behind two Gaeltacht lads, hearing them speak Irish.
10 mins into the senior game, Dub taps one of the Gaeltacht lads on the shoulder: "I thought ye switch over to English for the senior game?"
Classic
At the end of the Dublin-Roscommon game in Croker a few years ago (which was suprisingly the first game of the day at Croker to be followed by Tyrone V Laois I think), a Dub lad who has acted like an authority on the game all through talking shite and slagging of the boggers from Roscommon (was there with my Rossie mate & his dad) was asked by his other friend who where the guys in red supporting, the expert replies I think they Liverpool fans, they both proceeded to get up & miss the second game.
I think it was a league game in 1995 or 96 but Down were playing Waterford and were up something like 14 points to 4 and a Waterford defender was holding McCartan's jersey all day, James turns around to him early in the second half, after having kicked 4 or 5 points already, and says "if you don't leave go of my fuckling jersey I'll start going for goals."
We know holding James jersey isn't recommended
1994 All Ireland Final. Dublin v Down.
I had a few pints before the match. I used to always take a few plastic bags on to the terrace with me to pee in. One lad from the (now famous) Glassdrumman club was standing beside me an saw what I was doing - he gave me dogs abuse and headed for the toilets! 10 minutes later he came back shouting "Give me one of those bags for feck sake I can't get near the toilet!".
At half time I relieved myself in the plastic bag an asked the lads behind me on the Canal Terrace to throw it over the wall. One Dub holds the bag up and say "I ain't throwin this one over the wall - there's a feckin Godfish in it!".
After down dumped fermanagh from the qualifiers.
'No excuse for bad hay this year'
After down beat tyrone last year
'Book your summer holidays mcmeniman you wee B******'
How ironic ::)
When that match went to extra time the lights were turned on
guy shouts
'now you shower of w****** are costin us a fortune'
In Celtic Park when Bellaghy and Glenullin were playing the 2007 County Final the PA system announced:
Car registration number XYZ 4567 you have left your window down...that was clever
Mayo playing a few years ago, one fella turns round and says to another - " That Michael Smyth is in the army isnt he" - yes comes the reply, "well he is not in th e rapid response unit"
I was walking out of Clones yesterday and this portly Armagh supporter said to his mate :
" You know Sean, it's nearly too hot to get into a bad mood today !"
At Clones yesterday - "McEnaneny ya aul bollix ya, go on back to Monaghan ya hoor ya!"
Last sunday at the Offaly Kildare game, a young local girl was all set to sing the national anthem. Game live on rte so shes all dolled up and camera on her. Everyone standing and waiting for the music to start so the girl can start to sing. Good few seconds pass....no music so the young wan fires away....except microphone not working! She starts fidgiting wth mic but some problem with it and it looks like shes about to stop altogher and walk off when lad besdie me roars out....."C'mon lads hep the poor girl out here" With that the whole stand sings athem like never before and get her through to the end!
As shes walking off the pitch, she hands the mic to the 4th official and he turns it on and goes" Testing 1..2!...Poor girl hadnt turned it on in first place!
When the ref can do nothing right for your team:
He gives a handy free-in for the opposing team: "Take it yourself ref".
After the game is over and the ref was dodgy throughout: "It's hard enough against 15".
Long time ago we lost a first round local county championship to the hated Longford Slashers (pre backdoors, sidedoors, windows etc)
Withe the auld lad the following morning working in Longford town and some fella sees him and says:
"XXXXX, how did ye do yesterday"?
"Arra Pat, the Slashers hammered us"
"Oh", says Pat....."well, ye did well to get his far"
Cheered me up no end. A Fr. Ted moment 15 years before Fr. Ted!
I remember our sub keeper saying one day after we hit the onion bag:
"Ah sure a goal's as good as a point"
:D
Was playing in a reserve match vs Moortown, the fella i was marking was older man, well we had a fella corner forward whos a tall enough lad but very very skinny. he was just handly knocked off the ball my man turns to me and says 'what age is that boy?' I said think hes 18 or 19, 'God he replied, he'd needa go on a serious weight programe or ate a serious feed' i brust out laughin
i remember late on it a match the opposition keeper shouting to his defenders, " right, everybody up, O. P. up!"
Quote from: hardstation on June 01, 2009, 10:41:04 PM
"Bies, these hoors have a tarra history for negative tactics hey. So, any chance ye get, kick them, knee them in the balls, poke their eyes out. Just bate the clane shite out of the mushroom loving b**tards".
:D
was at a match in croke park a few years ago,there was a double header on, there was an ulster team playing in the first match then cork where playing in the 2nd match, during the cork game a cork fan kept jumping up and shouting "come on the rebels" each time they scored. then later on in the game he shouted it when things went a little quiet and a fan from the northern team stood up and shouted back at him "would you shut your mouth you's only ever had one rebel and you's shot him, think he was referring to Michael Coliins. That wasn't long shutting ur man and up and the all the people round that understood it laughed.
Ulster senior championship many moons ago.
Plunket Donaghy was in the middle for Tyrone; made a phenomonal catch sky high above everyone and then balooned the ball straight back up into the air.
Tyrone boyo in front of us shouts
" Donaghy you're like a lighthouse in the Clogher Valley....brilliant but useless"
Pure magic
In the good old National League days (mid November, freezing, only reason to go was to abuse the other team / ref / your own team / the supporters), a local accordion band (I kid you not) was there to entertain the crowd.
Those of you who remember those brass monkey games will remember that it was too cold for a warm up, certainly I remember Mick Lyons waiting until the first 5 minutes had gone before leaving the dressing room.
Anyway the genius at the mic had decided that the accordion band would get their day in the sun, so announces that there's to be a pre-match parade. Cue groans from the crowd.
A minute passes and he says over the PA 'will the teams please line up behind the band for the pre-match parade'.
No-one moves.
A minute later, with a little more emphasis in his voice he repeats 'will the teams PLEASE line up behind the band for the pre-match parade'
A few players start to saunter over, but stop when they realise no-one is following, and go back to kicking balls aimlessly over the bar in a vain attempt to keep warm.
The man on the PA returns 'Feck yes so, we'll have no parade.'
Great thread folks. The craic in the stands is always 90. You never hear bad manners like it anywhere else.
"How is that man on there? Sure the best part of him ran down his ol boys leg"
In the words of Miley - Holy God!
A few years back Derry had a championship match in Casement (think it was Antrim or Cavan, can't remember). Anyway, big Geoffrey came on as a sub and wasn't getting too much joy when someone played him an easy ball and he dropped it. Some smart arse in front of me shouted:-
"F**k sake Geoffrey, If it was a fish supper you wouldn't have dropped it!"
At Clones on Sunday I could hear a chorus of jeering/singing from the Gerry Arthurs stand 'we shall overcome, we shall overcome' it was the oft-put-upon, hard done by, oppressed Season ticket holders from Tyrone & Armagh.
......the final whistle in 1991
Heard this said on more than one occasion - "if you're gonna put it wide, put it wide the other side" :D
Our game against Fermanagh on saturday reminded me of the last time we played Fermanagh in 98 in Breffni. There was a drunken gang from lisnaskea behind me on the terrace behind the goals on the town side. As Cavan lined up on the 45 for some warm up drills before the match these smart boyos started to sing "free state bastards on the 45" to the tune of brimful of asha if you remember the tune. Was unbeliveably witty for lads that clearly were deprived of 90% of the average males brain cells.
Ballysteen GAA county Limerick-heard decades ago at a lunch-time match when there was a lull in play:
"C'mon Ballyshteen, the spuds are boilin'!"
and repeated forevermore.
The oul boy reminded me lately of an old match at Derrylaughan or Derrytresk where after a horrible miss from a few yards out, an oul character in the crowd was heard to say,
"Holy jaysis...... a coulda threw aff over the bar from there!"
Armagh v Kerry 2002 Final - "Your butter is RATTEN!"
the hill in 1997/8 dubs playing,
"dublins strikers are no bleedin good,not like years ago"
Quote from: mannix on June 09, 2009, 11:23:05 AM
the hill in 1997/8 dubs playing,
"dublins strikers are no bleedin good,not like years ago"
Sure everybody knows the best strikers are from Cork
"Im givin ya two points, now f off with yourself" said by well known Ballyboden man with the long coat and the peaked cap during a hurling match he was refereeing when asked by a mentor what score did he give his team when a bullet of a shot could not be determined to be a goal or a point because there was no net. :)
Quote from: Bud Wiser on June 09, 2009, 05:50:09 PM
"Im givin ya two points, now f off with yourself" said by well known Ballyboden man with the long coat and the peaked cap during a hurling match he was refereeing when asked by a mentor what score did he give his team when a bullet of a shot could not be determined to be a goal or a point because there was no net. :)
Brilliant. That's a classic if ever there was one.
Quote from: Mickeys beard on June 08, 2009, 08:08:27 PM
Ballysteen GAA county Limerick-heard decades ago at a lunch-time match when there was a lull in play:
"C'mon Ballyshteen, the spuds are boilin'!"
and repeated forevermore.
i was told that was Ahane in Limerick
Quote"Im givin ya two points, now f off with yourself"
Yep, our Mr. Lane is famous for that. Another day he was reffing a football match and he gave a penalty but again the pitch was not marked so he stepped out the distance from the goal line and marked it with his cap. Then, to be sure, he stepped it back in again and while he was doing it the lad that was going to take the penalty moved the cap nearer goal when he was walking with his back turned. The roars from the sidelines brought his attention to it and he turned around and caught yer man, cap in hand so to speak. Then he said, "now smart man, I am awarding a free out instead" !!
Quote from: the colonel on June 09, 2009, 11:26:39 PM
Quote from: Mickeys beard on June 08, 2009, 08:08:27 PM
Ballysteen GAA county Limerick-heard decades ago at a lunch-time match when there was a lull in play:
"C'mon Ballyshteen, the spuds are boilin'!"
and repeated forevermore.
i was told that was Ahane in Limerick
That is Ahane. It dates from Mick Mackey's time.
We have a lad that does announcements in O'Connor Park. A couple of his are 'Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a black man's jacket after being handed in here. Could the owner please collect it' and during a Leinster U21 game against Louth (I think) during a particularly heavy spate of substitutions late on in the game.
'Substitution for Louth, number 19 XXX replaces number 12 YYY and em, number 23 replaces number 11, and eh, on the Offaly team number 18 replaces number, no, wait, number 17 replaces......(silence) Ah Jaysus they're running on like rabbits over there'.
story told at recent wake of a down gael , he was umpiring an importantant club game in Down when a point was scored, a member of the crowd shouted out for f..k sake umpire that was never a point, to which the umpire replied
"check the irish news tomorrow to see if it was a point or not ya bollocks"
the crowd errupted .
two mates of mine at a castleblaney eniskeen a couple of weeks ago out of boredom, told me a great one.
Player was makin a move up the line to make it to a return pass dont think he was the quickest was possible be overtaken by an opponent not sure, but anyway old man be side my two mates lets a roar out of him
"For F*CK sake Ronan are ya pulling a plough" lol
at a club match in mayo this lad was taking a 14 yard free ( but going through the ronan o gara motions) so it was taking an age the goalie shouted " ffs would ya take the fecking free sure i'd knock that over with me mickey" :D
BUMP - I love these
Quote from: AZOffaly on June 10, 2009, 09:51:50 PM
Quote from: the colonel on June 09, 2009, 11:26:39 PM
Quote from: Mickeys beard on June 08, 2009, 08:08:27 PM
Ballysteen GAA county Limerick-heard decades ago at a lunch-time match when there was a lull in play:
"C'mon Ballyshteen, the spuds are boilin'!"
and repeated forevermore.
i was told that was Ahane in Limerick
That is Ahane. It dates from Mick Mackey's time.
We have a lad that does announcements in O'Connor Park. A couple of his are 'Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a black man's jacket after being handed in here. Could the owner please collect it' and during a Leinster U21 game against Louth (I think) during a particularly heavy spate of substitutions late on in the game.
'Substitution for Louth, number 19 XXX replaces number 12 YYY and em, number 23 replaces number 11, and eh, on the Offaly team number 18 replaces number, no, wait, number 17 replaces......(silence) Ah Jaysus they're running on like rabbits over there'.
[/b]
Brilliant.
Club game in Derry and Paddy Bradley is giving one of the Dungiven defenders a terrible roasting a few years back.
Alfie Dallas who was managing Dungiven at the time took this player off and as he was leaving the pitch Alfie said "Dont worry about it Davy, ive seen him roast good players" ;D ;D
Think it was Alfie as well, half time in a championship match and Dungiven are getting well beat by someone he says "Lads the longer we stay in this changing room the longer we'll stay in the championship"
Classic
Reserve hurling game against or neighbours Portaferry was cutting up a bit rough, corner forward broke his hurley and came running to the sideline to get his spare and the manager, Gary 'Scouse' Coulter pulled him an old one from the bag, corner forward looked at it and said, "that's not my hurley", Scouse's shouts at him, "fuckin break that one first then I'll give you your hurley".
heard this one second hand:
back his his playing days, eugene mckenna was playing in a club game think it was against dungannon
and was josstling for position in midfield just behind the referee waiting for the kickout, when yer man hit him a belt,eugene promptly turned round and leveled him.
when the ref turned round the dungannon man was lying on the ground nursing a busted nose, and mckenna says 'jes ref, i never did anything',
to which the ref replies," well theres only the 3 of us here, and i did't do it!"
In a tournament (the ones for a set of watches during a festival in Abbeyleix) a man known as Sabu (called after an elephant in Duffy's Circus) came on to make up numbers with the socks rolled up over the trousers and a pair of boprrowed boots and he was put in around the middle of the field. He wasn't getting a kick at the ball and someone roared in from the sideline " for jaysus sake Sabu will you go up for the ball " and Sabu shouted back,
"shur I'm not a f**king eejit, won't it come down to me".
I may have said this before, but a particularly tasty local derby was in play, and as per usual after about 15 minutes a lad was wiped out on the field. Now this being far removed from a big game, with all it's medical staff etc, a spectator with an estate car was pressganged into taking the unfortunate to Tullamore General.
Anyhow, with the lad dispatched, the game went on, only for one of the mentors to notice that the driver of the ad-hoc ambulance was leaning up against the bonnet of the car, smoking a fag and watching the game, while the casualty sat inside with a dazed look on his face.
'Jaysus Tommy, I thought you were bringing that lad into Tullamore?'
Cue a startled look.
'Now??? I thought you wanted me to wait for a full load.'
Heard in Castlebar after Mayo had bowed out of the championship for another year:
"f*ck, out of the championship and the turf not even turned in the bog yet"
Apparently at a Cork V KK final 5/6 years ago, a former KK hurler had a couple of Cork lads behind him chanting "Rebels, Rebels, Rebels..." continuously for the first half and throwing in the occassional comment about same KK hurler and generally sickening his sh*te. Was heading out at half time and the two Cork lads were giving it the "REBELS, REBELS, REBELS...", KK hurler turns around and says
"Ye only ever had one rebel and ye shot him in the back...."
At a club game in derry about 6 weeks ago and the game was getting pretty spicy with the crowd starting to get on the disater of a referees back as his point awarding abilities were wayward to say the least.
With our half back being sent of for a dubious challange there was a few off us along the line when the ball game roaring down with an oppostion player breakin his balls to get it! He kept it in brillaintly but a crowd of us start shouting from behind the wire, BALLS OUT!" an oppostion supporter goes clean mad, taking into consideration this is probably the longest commute we have to a game so the reltionship between supporters is generally astranged.
He proclaims " Here get a fuckin honest -------(club)---- man to do the bastarding line! That ball was in by a mile!"
A man repsonse from the crowd. "Sorry! Wont happen again! See honesty is the best policy!"
Quote from: rootthemout on June 12, 2009, 12:35:51 PM
"check the irish news tomorrow to see if it was a point or not ya bollocks"
I know several who use that line.
After Davey Harte missed a chance in Down Tyrone Replay
'No christmas card for him now.'
one day in a minor match a lad goes to the ref "why don't ye suck 'em all aff" hillarious
Last night in a club match the ref was slow to turn up and start the game, shout friom a spectator " come on ref start the match, Clint Eastwood is on the telly at 9.00" :D
Quote from: MacDanger on June 18, 2009, 01:02:33 AM
Heard in Castlebar after Mayo had bowed out of the championship for another year:
"f*ck, out of the championship and the turf not even turned in the bog yet"
:D :D
Quote"Ye only ever had one rebel and ye shot him in the back...."
I like this one, brilliant!
Was it Ollie Murphy (from MEath) who famously said to//about Michael Collins, the referee - Jaysus they shot the wrong Michael Collins.
I've heard that Michael Collins line too many times by now ...
Probably one of the darkest days in Irish history.
Quote from: hardstation on June 19, 2009, 12:12:06 AM
Quote from: JMohan on June 18, 2009, 10:59:25 PM
Probably one of the darkest days in Irish history.
I wasn't there so can't comment on how overcast it was that day.
I'd say judging by your posts you missed a lot of classes not just history.
Derry club game which got heated.
Midfielder and centre half forward have been going at it all game with big hits and off the ball shit.
Eventually it comes to a head when the midfield is shouldered in the back by the CHF then recieves the ball immediately. The CHF is too late to get a challenge in for a 2nd time as the midfielder lays off the ball he fills in the CHF cutting a massive gash across his eye.
As he was walking off the field he is getting dogs abuse and not really liking it. Until an oul man standing at the wire, the type of man that is football crazy where everything goes, shouts, "Ah f**k it lad, ye may as well get shot for a cow as a calf!"
Classic!
Quote from: High Wide and Handsome on June 19, 2009, 08:14:39 AM
Derry club game which got heated.
Midfielder and centre half forward have been going at it all game with big hits and off the ball shit.
Eventually it comes to a head when the midfield is shouldered in the back by the CHF then recieves the ball immediately. The CHF is too late to get a challenge in for a 2nd time as the midfielder lays off the ball he fills in the CHF cutting a massive gash across his eye.
As he was walking off the field he is getting dogs abuse and not really liking it. Until an oul man standing at the wire, the type of man that is football crazy where everything goes, shouts, "Ah f**k it lad, ye may as well get shot for a cow as a calf!"
Classic!
Not really.
Quote from: SidelineKick on June 19, 2009, 08:18:16 AM
Quote from: High Wide and Handsome on June 19, 2009, 08:14:39 AM
Derry club game which got heated.
Midfielder and centre half forward have been going at it all game with big hits and off the ball shit.
Eventually it comes to a head when the midfield is shouldered in the back by the CHF then recieves the ball immediately. The CHF is too late to get a challenge in for a 2nd time as the midfielder lays off the ball he fills in the CHF cutting a massive gash across his eye.
As he was walking off the field he is getting dogs abuse and not really liking it. Until an oul man standing at the wire, the type of man that is football crazy where everything goes, shouts, "Ah f**k it lad, ye may as well get shot for a cow as a calf!"
Classic!
Not really.
Agreed.
Armagh v Tyrone in a league game in Omagh about 6 years ago:
"You're too rough Oisin!!!" From some older lady up behind me...
Same game... "the Voice" asked all the good patrons who had arrived early to get a good spot in the middle of the stand... to "move on up" - to the end in the bloody coner!!!!! Some chance!
Quote from: saffron sam2 on June 19, 2009, 08:51:18 AM
Quote from: SidelineKick on June 19, 2009, 08:18:16 AM
Quote from: High Wide and Handsome on June 19, 2009, 08:14:39 AM
Derry club game which got heated.
Midfielder and centre half forward have been going at it all game with big hits and off the ball shit.
Eventually it comes to a head when the midfield is shouldered in the back by the CHF then recieves the ball immediately. The CHF is too late to get a challenge in for a 2nd time as the midfielder lays off the ball he fills in the CHF cutting a massive gash across his eye.
As he was walking off the field he is getting dogs abuse and not really liking it. Until an oul man standing at the wire, the type of man that is football crazy where everything goes, shouts, "Ah f**k it lad, ye may as well get shot for a cow as a calf!"
Classic!
Not really.
Agreed.
Apologise Saffron and sideline!
Quote from: High Wide and Handsome on June 19, 2009, 08:14:39 AM
Derry club game which got heated.
Midfielder and centre half forward have been going at it all game with big hits and off the ball shit.
Eventually it comes to a head when the midfield is shouldered in the back by the CHF then recieves the ball immediately. The CHF is too late to get a challenge in for a 2nd time as the midfielder lays off the ball he fills in the CHF cutting a massive gash across his eye.
As he was walking off the field he is getting dogs abuse and not really liking it. Until an oul man standing at the wire, the type of man that is football crazy where everything goes, shouts, "Ah f**k it lad, ye may as well get shot for a cow as a calf!"
Classic!
WTF?
Quote from: Goats Do Shave on June 19, 2009, 09:55:36 AM
Armagh v Tyrone in a league game in Omagh about 6 years ago:
"You're too rough Oisin!!!" From some older lady up behind me...
Same game... "the Voice" asked all the good patrons who had arrived early to get a good spot in the middle of the stand... to "move on up" - to the end in the bloody coner!!!!! Some chance!
WTF?
You'd have heard better things in a minute's silence than these last two attempts. ;)
ye had to be there probably... :-\ ::)
LOL I was there. It seemed funny at the time.
Sorry lol
Was at a club game one night, and one of the teams involved had all the possesion but were kicking wide after wide.
Anyways there was an aul man from this particular club who was getting very irrate at these wides, and was getting closer to the wire by the minute,
just as he got to the wire, they hit another wide from about 20 yards, and the player in question came running out disgusted at himself, he came over to the sideline for a drink just where the aul man was standing,
the aul man laid into him roaring, " You couldnt score you arse on barb Wire, the player heard and threw him a dirty look, and he roared again, "you couldnt score furniture with pen knife"
the whole stand was in hysterics :D
When I was young we went down to Ennis to watch a hurling match. There was a good few players and there dads there in a big group watching.
A wide was hit that wasn't too far off the mark. One of the dads said really seriously "If that went between the posts it would of been a pint"
Joe Brolly on TV today :
Joe Diver reminds me of a greyhound pup that you take to the track. You take him out of the car and he just runs and runs !!
Brolly spends the week thinking up those
Surrounded by a few over eager Tyrone fans today towards the end of the game. Eoin Bradley won a free not much past the half way line and the biggest p***k of the lot shouted over the crowd "stick her over yourself Bradley" and started laughing (Winding him up probably as they were trying to do everything themselves and nothing was going right). Eoin then thumped over probably the longest distance score I've ever seen direct from the free.
About the only time all day Derry fans got to rub it up the Tyrone fans.
Quote from: ExiledGael on June 21, 2009, 07:07:32 PM
Surrounded by a few over eager Tyrone fans today towards the end of the game. Eoin Bradley won a free not much past the half way line and the biggest p***k of the lot shouted over the crowd "stick her over yourself Bradley" and started laughing (Winding him up probably as they were trying to do everything themselves and nothing was going right). Eoin then thumped over probably the longest distance score I've ever seen direct from the free. About the only time all day Derry fans got to rub it up the Tyrone fans.
It miust have been 65 yards at least. Some score.
Quote from: orangeman on June 21, 2009, 07:18:17 PM
Quote from: ExiledGael on June 21, 2009, 07:07:32 PM
Surrounded by a few over eager Tyrone fans today towards the end of the game. Eoin Bradley won a free not much past the half way line and the biggest p***k of the lot shouted over the crowd "stick her over yourself Bradley" and started laughing (Winding him up probably as they were trying to do everything themselves and nothing was going right). Eoin then thumped over probably the longest distance score I've ever seen direct from the free. About the only time all day Derry fans got to rub it up the Tyrone fans.
It miust have been 65 yards at least. Some score.
Was inbetween the 65 and 45 lines, closer to the 45. Still was some effort though.
Quote from: Archie Mitchell on June 21, 2009, 07:21:23 PM
Quote from: orangeman on June 21, 2009, 07:18:17 PM
Quote from: ExiledGael on June 21, 2009, 07:07:32 PM
Surrounded by a few over eager Tyrone fans today towards the end of the game. Eoin Bradley won a free not much past the half way line and the biggest p***k of the lot shouted over the crowd "stick her over yourself Bradley" and started laughing (Winding him up probably as they were trying to do everything themselves and nothing was going right). Eoin then thumped over probably the longest distance score I've ever seen direct from the free. About the only time all day Derry fans got to rub it up the Tyrone fans.
It miust have been 65 yards at least. Some score.
You've spoilt that ! By this time tomorrow it would have been about 80 yards out. ;)
Was inbetween the 65 and 45 lines, closer to the 45. Still was some effort though.
Quote from: orangeman on June 21, 2009, 07:27:32 PM
Quote from: Archie Mitchell on June 21, 2009, 07:21:23 PM
Quote from: orangeman on June 21, 2009, 07:18:17 PM
Quote from: ExiledGael on June 21, 2009, 07:07:32 PM
Surrounded by a few over eager Tyrone fans today towards the end of the game. Eoin Bradley won a free not much past the half way line and the biggest p***k of the lot shouted over the crowd "stick her over yourself Bradley" and started laughing (Winding him up probably as they were trying to do everything themselves and nothing was going right). Eoin then thumped over probably the longest distance score I've ever seen direct from the free. About the only time all day Derry fans got to rub it up the Tyrone fans.
It miust have been 65 yards at least. Some score.
Was inbetween the 65 and 45 lines, closer to the 45. Still was some effort though.
You've spoilt that ! By this time tomorrow it would have been about 80 yards out. ;)
If Chris Kamara was commentating on it, Bradley would have been on the Andersonstown Road when he kicked it :D
Quote
If Chris Kamara was commentating on it, Bradley would have been on the Andersonstown Road when he kicked it :D
Ha!
"At half-time there has been one change on the Tyrone team.. Sean Cavanagh has changed his socks"
I wouldn't say this is the funniest thing I ever heard at a match, but was funny nonetheless.
At a division 3 game in Tyrone a while back, a corner back was tackling one of the opposing players. The referee blew his whistle and awarded a free against the corner back before shouting 'Number 4, turn around' (so he could check his number)!
Like I say, not exactly the best thing heard, but it was funny at the time.
"Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick !!!"
Monaghan player, presumably looking the ball off Dick Clerkin.
after a series of hand passes in the minor match between Armagh and Monaghan a lad behind me says that if they continue on like this they will soon not need to bring boots to the match at all
Quote from: fitzroyalty on July 05, 2009, 12:14:06 AM
"Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick !!!"
Monaghan player, presumably looking the ball off Dick Clerkin.
Must have been in the 1st half - he was taken off early ....
I've been trying to find the bit that Paidi said to the Westmeath player at training one night.
Does anyone remember it ?? It was on the TV one night. It was very funny.
Any suggestions ?
Quote from: orangeman on July 26, 2009, 04:38:19 PM
I've been trying to find the bit that Paidi said to the Westmeath player at training one night.
Does anyone remember it ?? It was on the TV one night. It was very funny.
Any suggestions ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H15pNImDyvs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H15pNImDyvs)
Here's the video. Tis on after Dinny Allen's vicious headbutt on Paidí's fist! :D
Quote from: Donnellys Hollow on July 26, 2009, 04:50:45 PM
Quote from: orangeman on July 26, 2009, 04:38:19 PM
I've been trying to find the bit that Paidi said to the Westmeath player at training one night.
Does anyone remember it ?? It was on the TV one night. It was very funny.
Any suggestions ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H15pNImDyvs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H15pNImDyvs)
Here's the video. Tis on after Dinny Allen's vicious headbutt on Paidí's fist! :D
Thanks a lot for that. Pure class. :D :D :D
Same Ref that I described on page 12 of this thread.
Player: Ref, get the ball changed its flat. (Keeps this up but ref ignores him)
Game over and ref walking off the field and said player says to him, you must be deaf as well as blind, how many times did I tell you the ball was soft?
And ref says, I don't know but whatever many times it was how did you know it was soft when you didn't have it in your hand or get a kick at it all day?
On a slightly off the subjest note, heard a good one yesterday!
A couple of members of the travelling community where in the Gran Canaries last year and after a couple of hours of drinking , an argument started. The couple who were in their 50's were having a good ould row when the quare one says to himself " don't you love me anymore Michael?", followed by the reply............ "sure don't I ride you and buy you chips!" sorry for the randomness,, but class ;D
Quote from: Donnellys Hollow on July 26, 2009, 04:50:45 PM
Quote from: orangeman on July 26, 2009, 04:38:19 PM
I've been trying to find the bit that Paidi said to the Westmeath player at training one night.
Does anyone remember it ?? It was on the TV one night. It was very funny.
Any suggestions ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H15pNImDyvs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H15pNImDyvs)
Here's the video. Tis on after Dinny Allen's vicious headbutt on Paidí's fist! :D
First time i have seen that. He reckons he was lucky not to be sent off!! WTF
Quote from: Carmen Stateside on October 24, 2009, 02:15:37 PM
Quote from: Donnellys Hollow on July 26, 2009, 04:50:45 PM
Quote from: orangeman on July 26, 2009, 04:38:19 PM
I've been trying to find the bit that Paidi said to the Westmeath player at training one night.
Does anyone remember it ?? It was on the TV one night. It was very funny.
Any suggestions ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H15pNImDyvs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H15pNImDyvs)
Here's the video. Tis on after Dinny Allen's vicious headbutt on Paidí's fist! :D
First time i have seen that. He reckons he was lucky not to be sent off!! WTF
:D
The good old days !!
I was playing a match in England one day and asked the ref how long was left in the first half and he replied "to be honest with ye, i forgot to bring me watch with me!"
Interesting that the Cork fellas seemed OK with Dinny getting laid out. I can understand that. Didn't happen often enough, really.
Hush falls across croker for Dubs Kerry Minute silence. Lad heading out onto the hill still chatting away fineshes with a loud
"SHEEP SHAGGERS"
Lads ad to fight back the laughter.
One statement you mightnt hear much more of....the manager shouting at a corner back ...."You have to be up his arse at all times"!!!!
At a recent Monaghan intermediate semi final 3/4 of the way through the 2nd half and drumhowan are getting pegged back, their main man James mc elroy catches a ball in midfield and starts a run up field, gas running out and his marker catching him when all is relatively quiet and aul man with the thickest monaghan accent roars out "throw her into a higher gear James!!" cue the whole stand bursting into laughter, brilliant.
McElroy and his family are lorry drivers as wel!!
At the intermediate final, Drumhowan's 38 year old former county man Stephen McGinnity was on the ball, and this boy (he's 20 going on 70) that only gets into town on a mart day roars in the slowest drawl imaginable - "That's the boy Stevie Wonder"
Quote from: thebandit on October 24, 2009, 08:54:11 PM
McElroy and his family are lorry drivers as wel!!
At the intermediate final, Drumhowan's 38 year old former county man Stephen McGinnity was on the ball, and this boy (he's 20 going on 70) that only gets into town on a mart day roars in the slowest drawl imaginable - "That's the boy Stevie Wonder"
Ha ha bandit that sounds like one of my cousins!! I love my nights out round ballybay an blayney, hard to beat a load of drunk monaghan men for classic one liners!
Played on a junior c team in dublin a couple of years back and the team had just won our league for the first time and we were going well at the start of the next year.
The manager (older member of team, former senior player and asshole) called a team meeting on saturday before a match to discuss the possibabiliy of us training. There was a bit of a split in the camp but most of us just wanted to play with no training.
the manager gave us all a passion speech about how good we could be if we trained etc. After the speech he ends with "what do say lads?"
Joker on the team pipes up...."f**k off, what doya think we are protestants" cue uncontrolable laughter for 5 minutes.
dj kane to ross carr in a league game a few years back when 2 down players got ther wires crossed and lost the ball - "Will ye get those 2 f**kin c**ts off!"
classic dj, there for all to hear!
Quote from: swagger on October 25, 2009, 10:00:20 PM
dj kane to ross carr in a league game a few years back when 2 down players got ther wires crossed and lost the ball - "Will ye get those 2 f**kin c**ts off!"
classic dj, there for all to hear!
Classic alright.
Quote from: cadhlancian on July 26, 2009, 07:23:53 PM
On a slightly off the subjest note, heard a good one yesterday!
A couple of members of the travelling community where in the Gran Canaries last year and after a couple of hours of drinking , an argument started. The couple who were in their 50's were having a good ould row when the quare one says to himself " don't you love me anymore Michael?", followed by the reply............ "sure don't I ride you and buy you chips!" sorry for the randomness,, but class ;D
Colm Toibin told the same yarn on the Late Late Show Wexford special last year, this time about a skanger from inner-city Cork.
91 All-Ireland final, Meath closing the gap on Down, female Down fan in the stand checks the time saying "Jesus, I never saw such a slow f**king watch"
Big O at a minor league match many years ago when Pete McGrath took the team to the changing room and was slow getting back on the pitch - Big O roared from the far side of the field to Patsy Tinnellyy on the dressing room gate: "Patsy, tell Pete to get them boys out on the field, I wanna go home before the childer grows up"
Often heard at Attical back in the 70's - "She's away with the mixer" - never knew what it meant.
Spectators talking about a Newry clubfootballer who had been arrested and placed in her majesty's custody:
"It's sad to think of Jimmy in thone place the day"
Reply: "Far warmer there than here watching this sh**e"
Mayo Senior Championship Relegation playoff - weekend just gone.
Burrishoole V Bohola Moy Davitts
Burrishoole player hits the deck after a lame enough shoulder to shoulder challenge.
Match in the balance, Burrishoole a point up with a few minutes to play, Moy Davitts running out of time.
A Moy Davitts supporter who was exasperated by the time delay caused by the Burrishoole mans rolling around lets a shout
''call the priest, yer man is fucked''
classic from my younger days , a well known supporter of our club who had two sons in the team , the man was an utter legend and came out with some great lines but this was his best...
A player who had just got married and was back from his honeymoon came up from the half backs and lashed over a great score , cue a huge cheer from the corwd and yer man shouts
"jaysis i never saw him do that before , he must have been spunkbound before this!!"
Spunkbound , feckin classic!
Probably heard this one before, but at a minor match a lad was down with a fairly non-serious but time consuming injury (to his groin area). Treatment went on, the game was halted, the ref was standing around, and everyone was sort of looking at each other.
Cue the shout 'For f**k sake get on with it, or everyone will be over age'.
League semi final double header in Croker a few years ago. Kildare V Donegal and Mayo V Galway
After the Kildare match, a rather large Kildare supporter with a strong county accent stood up in the middle of the Cusack stand and started shouting down at a person about 25 rows in front.
It went like this: "Paddy....Paddy......Paddy.....Paddy.....Paddy Hara....Paddy Hara...Paddy Hara"
(Getting louder each time, with more people turning around to see what was going on)
This went on for about a minute, which is a very long time when someone is just shouting PADDY PADDY PADDY!!
Eventually, the Paddy in question turned around and shouted "WHA!!??"
The Kildare fan then shouted : "YOU'VE A HEAD LIKE A CHICKEN" and sat down delighted with himself.
The whole lower tier section fell around the place laughing.
at a match a while back in banbridge in county down against ardglass. Ardglass boy given the half back awful abuse, ref gives him is final warnin and he says to the ref. "a dont give a fcuk; am goin to prison on thursday anyway"
At a Derry club hurling game a few years ago a manager was heard givin out to one of his player who pulled up when running for a ball.
The player shouts back "I've got a stitch"
Manager replies "A stitch, this is no place to be bring your fcukin knittin!"
senior club play-off in cavan a few years and 2 clubs locked in titanic battle, which went to couple of replays (denn and killygarry)
one club had a really stylish wing half forward, talented as anything around but well known for a slight lack of, shall we say, intestinal fortitude. he got possession, but in doing so lost his balance and hit the deck. Cue an old spectator, strechted across the railing, (think of your typical cavan bachelor farmer of 65, still dreaming of the glory days in breffini of his youth), turned around and announced to all-
"jaysus if that gosson isn't falling then he's getting up........"
the place erupted...
Quote from: RogerMilla on October 27, 2009, 01:16:15 PM
classic from my younger days , a well known supporter of our club who had two sons in the team , the man was an utter legend and came out with some great lines but this was his best...
A player who had just got married and was back from his honeymoon came up from the half backs and lashed over a great score , cue a huge cheer from the corwd and yer man shouts
"jaysis i never saw him do that before , he must have been spunkbound before this!!"
Spunkbound , feckin classic!
Funny me ass ???, kicking you for a day would be funny. ;D ;D
Playin a match for my club in Warrenpoint(County Down) one night.Match gettin bit physical,our centre half back (quite a skinny fella) was gettin involved with their CHF. I remember one of their supporters shoutin: "FFS theres more meat on a gypsy's dog". Remember burstin out laughin as play continued.
In a Derry club hurling match quite a few years back.
High ball lands in the big square, all hell breaks loose, players flailing and falling all around the place. Manager shouts ... fer fcuks sake ref, they,re riding in there.
At a local club game game in Cavan and the waterman (about 70) from our club was roarin abuse at the ref the whole game. The ref turns around and says, "If you don't be quiet I'll walk home", our fella turns around and say's, "What are you walking for, did you forget the car!!
Thought it was brilliant
Mayo v Tyrone NFL this year. I was looking for a place to sit. Someone roars from behind 'COME ON FARRANDEELIN!!! UP FARRANDEELIN!!!' I didn't know what to make of it... I thought to myself Jays there's bound to be a few Tyronies from the board here! It was a neighbour of mine who lives in the village as well, but it set my heart racing for a while at least!
Love this thread lads, keep them coming
Now that the season is getting into swing, the following might be
useful...
GAA Phrases
Bollix: - The Referee
Mighty :- Very good
Hames :- A right shite, e.g. 'He made a hames of that chance'
Timber: - Intimidation of a hurling opponent, e.g. 'Show him some timber'
Lamp :- A good thump, e.g. 'I swung for the sliotar, missed by 3 feet and lamped the full back'
A Crowd :- A gathering of people who watch a match and hope for random acts of violence, e.g. Waterford supporters
Schkelp: - To remove living tissue in the absence of surgical procedures,e.g. 'That shite from Tipp took a schkelp outta me leg'
Hatchet Man :- Mountainy type, uses hunter/gatherer instincts
Bullin': - Angry, e.g. 'The centre half was bullin' after I lamped him'
Bull Thick: - Very angry, e.g. 'The centre half was bull thick after I Iamped him again'
Joult: - A push, e.g. 'I gave him a joult and he has to wear a neck brace for 2 weeks'
The Comm-A-Teee: - Local GAA bullshitters in general
Bushted :- An undefined soreness, e.g. 'Jayz me arm is bushted'
The Bomber :- Popular name for a fat hairy GAA player
A Hang Sangwidge :- Consumed with 'tay' on the sides of roads after matches in Pairc Ui Chaoimh or Thurles, usually contains half a pound of butter
Rake: - A great amount of anything, usually pints of Guinness the night before an important match
Indanamajaysus (in-da-nama-Jaysus): - What was that for referee?
Ya Bollix Ya :- Corner back's formal recognition of a score by his opponent
Leh-It-In-Ta-f**k-Wud-Ya :- Full forwards appeal to a midfielder for a more timely delivery of the pass
Mullocker: - Untidy or awkward player released for matches
Burst The Bollix :- Instructions from the sideline to tackle your man
Row :- Disagreement involving four or more players
Shamozzle: - Disagreement involving both teams, including goalies, substitutes and supporters jumping fences
All-Hell-Broke-Loose :- A massive row that continues out in the parking area or dressing room areas, usually resolved by the Gardai ... very popular in Wicklow
At the Meath v Kerry all ireland semi last year and one the stewards on Hill 16 started slagging some of the Meath fans because Meath were loosing and not looking like getting back into the match, after a minute or so of slagging the Meath fans, he was met with a reply of around 100 meath fans singing 'where the f*ck are Dublin, selling f*%cking hot dogs, na na na na hey, na na na na, hey'
brilliant, it soon quietened him down!
Might have told this one before but think its a classic.
Hollymount, then the strongest senior club in Mayo, were training in the early 90s. One of their veteran players had a wedding at the weekend, which clashed with a league game. He didn't want to tell the manager this so he said he'd cry off injured. Now, this fella was the type who ligament was a type of flooring, so he asked one of the younger lads what sort of injury should he say he had.
'Tell him its your hamstring, Johnny'.
So JOhnny goes up to the manager. 'Won't be able to play the weekend boss, I'm injured. Its my hamstring'.
'Your hamstring,' replies the manager. 'What happened it'?
'I broke it'.
At a match a few years ago, a young fella about 13-14 tryin to be a smartass, generally roaring at the players/ref and getting cheered on by his mates.
When the other team score a free, he shouts out 'Wide as a duck's arse'!
My mate from Millstreet, Co. Cork says that some oul locals are often heard at hurling matches shouting,"'c'mon ref, 'tis a shixty" in the broadest cork accent.
Quote from: Never beat the deeler on May 25, 2010, 09:44:08 PM
At a match a few years ago, a young fella about 13-14 tryin to be a smartass, generally roaring at the players/ref and getting cheered on by his mates.
When the other team score a free, he shouts out 'Wide as a duck's arse'!
That was a common enough saying when I was a lad but havn't heard it in a while.
Not the most appropriate thread for this as it's the worst thing i have ever heard at a GAA match!
In the ulster final 2005 (first game) myself and mates were on hill 16 next to a particularly annoying Armagh women who was a complete ignoramous and continually insulted many Tyrone fans around her who were clapping/cheering the many scores we got that day. Seemed like we were sure of victory when Mc Donnell and Mc Grane conspired against us to snatch an unlikely draw.
This unpleasent woman turned around and roar in my mates (a man with a short fuse) face 'Where's your clapping now!'
Mate roars back at her 'Your Ma's got the clap!'
Cue stunned silence from all those in ear shot and an Armagh woman who wouldn't shut up all game speechless!
Quote from: Never beat the deeler on May 25, 2010, 09:44:08 PM
When the other team score a free, he shouts out 'Wide as a duck's arse'!
On a similar vein, a mate always shouted after a wide "that was as far away as my first sh*te"
Has anyone that classic story about the junior game were a team had only fifteen players and the manager took a player off saying "ach just come off anyway"????
Quote from: mylestheslasher on May 25, 2010, 10:45:56 PM
Quote from: Never beat the deeler on May 25, 2010, 09:44:08 PM
At a match a few years ago, a young fella about 13-14 tryin to be a smartass, generally roaring at the players/ref and getting cheered on by his mates.
When the other team score a free, he shouts out 'Wide as a duck's arse'!
That was a common enough saying when I was a lad but havn't heard it in a while.
Aye it would be still a common enough saying around home
Quote from: tyronebhoy on May 26, 2010, 12:08:34 PM
Quote from: Never beat the deeler on May 25, 2010, 09:44:08 PM
When the other team score a free, he shouts out 'Wide as a duck's arse'!
On a similar vein, a mate always shouted after a wide "that was as far away as my first sh*te"
The wit of Oscar Wilde has inspired yet another generation.
Quote from: omagh_gael on May 25, 2010, 11:20:11 PM
Not the most appropriate thread for this as it's the worst thing i have ever heard at a GAA match!
In the ulster final 2005 (first game) myself and mates were on hill 16 next to a particularly annoying Armagh women who was a complete ignoramous and continually insulted many Tyrone fans around her who were clapping/cheering the many scores we got that day. Seemed like we were sure of victory when Mc Donnell and Mc Grane conspired against us to snatch an unlikely draw.
This unpleasent woman turned around and roar in my mates (a man with a short fuse) face 'Where's your clapping now!'
Mate roars back at her 'Your Ma's got the clap!'
Cue stunned silence from all those in ear shot and an Armagh woman who wouldn't shut up all game speechless!
So basically your point is that your friend is as ignorant as an ignorant Armagh woman you once came across?
Despite having 15 players to play an underage match, the manager shows his utmost trust in his players and asks can they play 13aside!
This thread should be renamed 'things I heard at a GAA match'
99% of these stories are bland and in no way funny.
Quote from: heffo on May 26, 2010, 04:20:34 PM
This thread should be renamed 'things I heard at a GAA match'
99% of these stories are bland and in no way funny.
Heffo, the thread is entitled 'Best Thing heard at a GAA match'
not 'Funniest Thing heard at a GAA match'
The stories do not have to be necessarily funny ;)
Quote from: Onion Bag on May 26, 2010, 04:52:22 PM
Quote from: heffo on May 26, 2010, 04:20:34 PM
This thread should be renamed 'things I heard at a GAA match'
99% of these stories are bland and in no way funny.
Heffo, the thread is entitled 'Best Thing heard at a GAA match'
not 'Funniest Thing heard at a GAA match'
The stories do not have to be necessarily funny ;)
MUST they be bland and boring though?
Quote from: TacadoirArdMhacha on May 26, 2010, 02:01:28 PM
Quote from: omagh_gael on May 25, 2010, 11:20:11 PM
Not the most appropriate thread for this as it's the worst thing i have ever heard at a GAA match!
In the ulster final 2005 (first game) myself and mates were on hill 16 next to a particularly annoying Armagh women who was a complete ignoramous and continually insulted many Tyrone fans around her who were clapping/cheering the many scores we got that day. Seemed like we were sure of victory when Mc Donnell and Mc Grane conspired against us to snatch an unlikely draw.
This unpleasent woman turned around and roar in my mates (a man with a short fuse) face 'Where's your clapping now!'
Mate roars back at her 'Your Ma's got the clap!'
Cue stunned silence from all those in ear shot and an Armagh woman who wouldn't shut up all game speechless!
So basically your point is that your friend is as ignorant as an ignorant Armagh woman you once came across?
Yup
Twas in the early 90's (maybe 1990 I think) and Tyrone were playing the dubs in some sort of either a league play-off or maybe all-ireland U21 semi in Breffini Park. We were going up the hill on the way out of Breffini and there was a crowd of young skin headed dubs perched on a wall at the entrance and they were giving this middle aged man (probably 55 or so) a torrid time about a wig he was wearing. I knew this man from my playing days when he was a notoriusly good umpire for his team, a very quiet man who was known to give a few dodgy decisions. I remember flicking a goal in from 10 yards and getting it disallowed for a square ball which he called.
One of the skin heads was giving him a particularly hard time about his wig and his age, so he proceeded to make his way through the crowd, pull the lad down from wall and landed one on the young fella's mouth. He then proceeded to pick the boy up and there was blood pouring from the boys mouth and said to him in a classic droll Tyrone accent "They do fake beards up the town, might help cover that up for ye!" Even the boys mates on the wall where in stitches.
I never questioned his umpiring decisions after that either.