Hi all,
I am heading abroad next month with my girlfriend when we'll be 4 years together.
I went into our local jeweller today by myself (up north) and they were very helpful.
I had a picture of 2 rings she tried on at Xmas in a jewellers abroad, we went in messing around then but she genuinely liked the style of those two.
the jeweller matched something similar - I have a picture of 6 rings in the local shop now.
they range in price from £1500 pounds sterling to £5K sterling.
- honestly what do people generally spend? Neither of us are 30 yet, but we have our own home. So I can't afford the ring in the £3,000+ range. I earn well enough but I generally don't do big purchases or live an extravagant life. However I realise this is for life.
im a bit lost - I need to find out her ring size, whether she definitely wants gold banding or silver / platinum.
do people generally buy it outright or on credit?
I've also heard of people bringing "dress rings" or placeholder rings when the proposal is abroad.
im not sure what to do. I suppose the real question I'm most concerned about is what's the general budget? I don't want to spend too little but also not too much, after all I'll expect she'll be sending her friends and family pictures of it when we're abroad, as I'm doing it at the start of the holiday!
I have no idea about the whole carat thing, the jeweller explained some of it to me and the gradings etc. they were Hatton garden rings from London.
thank you in advance, all help appreciated!
You don't need a ring to propose imo. Ask her first(and if she says yes
;) ) then bring her with you to pick out a ring she wants.
Then the sensible thing to do is obviously buy something you can afford.
Never understood this notion you have spend x times your monthly salary or whatever it is.
To me anyway 5k on a ring is ridiculous money. I doubt many could tell the difference between a €500 and a €5000 anyway.
Each to their own of course and some women are very high maintenance though I'd hate to be with someone who made me spend that much if I couldn't afford or want to spend that much on a ring.
I spent £1500 in 2018, but by that stage we were on the housing ladder and that. Style is more important than the price, unless she's unbelievably materialistic.
Not sure about prices in 2022 but spending 5k sounds ludicrous!
With regards size, bring some of her rings to the shop and they can size them. If it turns out its not an exact fit, that can be changed so don't panic.
Make sure it's insured! You can get it added to house insurance by telling them, this will be cheaper than the insurance they try to sell you in the ring shop.
State of this board these days. Lads talking about rings.....
Good luck!
Can't remember what I spent on it, wasn't a fortune but was expensive enough, maybe €1500 which in itself is ridiculous money for something so small. Imagine the amount of running shoes I could have bought for that money like ;D
I agree you don't need a ring to propose, I didn't. Just asked her and she then went and picked out a ring she liked.
Off topic of engagement rings but I haven't a clue where my wedding ring is, took it off when we got back from honeymoon and never put it on since.
Don't buy it without her. Get the dress ring if you need to but if you're still investing money of any level I would do it with her. She will have to wear it, hopefully all her life, so she will really need to like it. Spend what you are comfortable with and don't feel pressured
I got the would-be brother-in-law to bring over a ring her Grandmother had left her in her will...everyone's a winner!
Although my wee shit of firstborn flushed it down the bog one day and it has never been seen again!
I made the mistake of letting her pick the ring. She ended up picking one that was double my budget and then nothing else would do for her. Ended up delaying the engagement by about 8 months
Quote from: David McKeown on August 18, 2022, 06:26:48 PM
I made the mistake of letting her pick the ring. She ended up picking one that was double my budget and then nothing else would do for her. Ended up delaying the engagement by about 8 months
You won't make that mistake again.
Quote from: David McKeown on August 18, 2022, 06:26:48 PM
I made the mistake of letting her pick the ring. She ended up picking one that was double my budget and then nothing else would do for her. Ended up delaying the engagement by about 8 months
More fool you for agreeing to that.
Wait til ye hear eternity ring mentioned
Spending x times your salary was a marketing campaign from de Beers about 100 years ago so forget about that shite. Spend what you can afford BUT it will need to be a reasonable size so spend wisely. She may not judge you but her mates will :D
I bought a ring in advance for the proposal and carted it all round NYC waiting for the right moment and hoping I didn't get mugged. I was relieved to get it over with for more than one reason. I had enough info on style and size so it was low risk on my part but if you're not 100% sure of the size I'd do the deed with a placeholder ring and then let her pick one at home.
Budgets aren't very romantic but if she's the one for you she'll not want you overspending. If I were you I'd go into the jewellers and get their advice on some of the price options of the style she likes and then hunt about elsewhere to see if you can get similar for cheaper or a bigger stone for same money.
The brother in law is a farmer so he knows a thing about value for money and he went to one of the diamond wholesale places in Belfast and got a chunky enough ring for a lot less than the likes of Lunns. After the deed is done take her to the place you have chosen and say "what about this one". Easy! :o
Quote from: An Watcher on August 18, 2022, 07:15:24 PM
Wait til ye hear eternity ring mentioned
Took the jump on the eternity ring there recently...just to confirm there'll be no more children being added to the crew! Went for a lab made diamond and they were a Godsend. All top quality and a fraction of the price.
I know for my next engagement ill be looking solely at lab made diamonds ;)
Quote from: An Watcher on August 18, 2022, 07:15:24 PM
Wait til ye hear eternity ring mentioned
What is that and when will I have her bothering me looking for one?
Youse northern lads are as tight as a ducks arse. It's a wonder youse dont just buy the missus a brack at Halloween.
Anyway I went to the States many moons ago with the mrs purposed beside a waterfall on the JM trail. No ring, most women want to pick their own & finger size is a huge issue, even if your right your wrong.
Don't buy the ring until after she says yes. Land her to the jewellers and tell her you've got £X to spend. If she picks one that is anything up to 80% of £x you will have a happy life. If she wants something at 90 - 110% of £x be cautious, she may not be the woman for you. If she wants something more than 120% of £X walk away (and I'm not talking about the shop) ;D
However if she wants something much more than £x and is prepared to contribute like Beyonce "I bought it" etc then let her tear away!
Agreed, some of ye are disgracefully cheap.
When it comes to the 4 C's, most women will basically tell you to prioritise carats above all else. If it doesn't have visible blemishes and isn't yellow-y, don't worry about trying to get a higher quality one. Bump up the size instead.
Surely anyway in this era of feminism and womens fight for equality , the tradition of a man buying a woman an engagement ring will die out.
They don't need men for anything they tell us so surely they can also buy their own engagement ring if they really want one.
Is it not a bit sexist anyways,in a once you put this on you're finger you're mine now sort of way.
I bought a ring for a few hundred to propose with. To be honest I still think it is nicer than the engagement ring.
brought her to pick the engagement ring (something she really enjoyed doing), there was a number of options ranging from 500-7500 brought out to try on. she/we didnt look at prices until she had them on and decided if she liked it or not, in the end she picked one for 1300/1500 that she said suited her. think I was willing to pay 4k/5k...
it all pales in comparison to what she will spend of your money on the house stuff (as it goes out of fashion!!!) etc.
No matter what you spend it will never be good enough lol Spend what you can afford.
Quote from: laoislad on August 18, 2022, 08:08:32 PM
Quote from: An Watcher on August 18, 2022, 07:15:24 PM
Wait til ye hear eternity ring mentioned
What is that and when will I have her bothering me looking for one?
After the first year or first child is born. I got my missus one as a Christmas present. After the first child was born.
To the OP, I intended to propose abroad myself. But the thought of getting it through security made me shit myself. So I proposed by following a few fellas here by doing up a poem for her in the hotel room the night before we flew. I slept like a log, while she was excited about it and hardly slept a wink all night.
Basically if you never let her speak to other women you'll be grand. I got harassed by her mate for the eternity ring and spent a fortune on it lol.
Engagement I picked myself. I had no clue what I was at and went in to Luhns which is a dear diamond place. I picked one and then asked the boy what if she says no. He said - she won't say no lol.
Bigger not necessarily better. Depends on the person. If you know her well enough to be proposing you should know her well enough in terms of what jewellery she likes.
Quote from: Turf on August 18, 2022, 06:58:33 PM
Quote from: David McKeown on August 18, 2022, 06:26:48 PM
I made the mistake of letting her pick the ring. She ended up picking one that was double my budget and then nothing else would do for her. Ended up delaying the engagement by about 8 months
More fool you for agreeing to that.
That was my thought too
Quote from: imtommygunn on August 18, 2022, 09:45:35 PM
Basically if you never let her speak to other women you'll be grand. I got harassed by her mate for the eternity ring and spent a fortune on it lol.
Engagement I picked myself. I had no clue what I was at and went in to Luhns which is a dear diamond place. I picked one and then asked the boy what if she says no. He said - she won't say no lol.
Bigger not necessarily better. Depends on the person. If you know her well enough to be proposing you should know her well enough in terms of what jewellery she likes.
The point is that all other things being equal to the naked eye, bigger is definitely better for 99.9% of women. A VVS1 will be more expensive than a VS1 but you'll not have a clue unless you study the cert. And women don't give a flying f**k about the cert
Quote from: imtommygunn on August 18, 2022, 09:45:35 PM
Basically if you never let her speak to other women you'll be grand. I got harassed by her mate for the eternity ring and spent a fortune on it lol.
Engagement I picked myself. I had no clue what I was at and went in to Luhns which is a dear diamond place. I picked one and then asked the boy what if she says no. He said - she won't say no lol.
Bigger not necessarily better. Depends on the person. If you know her well enough to be proposing you should know her well enough in terms of what jewellery she likes.
Bet you say that to all the ladies ;D
;D
Spent £1200 in 2001 which the BOE inflation calculator says is now worth just over £1800. The wedding ring is much cheaper lol.
Thanks all, I've a lot to think about !!
Tom a risk and went ahead and bought the ring myself based on an overheard conversation between herself and her friends early on.
Went to Gardiners in Belfast and found them very helpful. I picked the ring paid for it and they offered if it didn't suit we could come back later to pick the right one if need be.
Luckily she loved it and it fit think it was somewhere around £1400-1500 can't remember anymore but think I paid cash and got a bit of a discount.
Eleven years ago now.
Quote from: An Watcher on August 18, 2022, 07:15:24 PM
Wait til ye hear eternity ring mentioned
Haha! I hear you Watcher!
Proposed abroad myself. All a surprise. Had the ring in my pocket and had to empty them at the security gate! The guy spotted it and disappeared it from her eyes thankfully. So if it's a surprise think about that!
I paid a good bit. Definitely 2 or 3 months salary back then in 2006 and picked it myself. I had an idea of what she liked. She loved it. Needed to get it resized and the jewellers said to me at the time they do it FOC. Wedding ring was a fair but cheaper mind you. I think you need to spend or you end up with something that looks like it came out of Argos. This is the woman you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with. It's a one time buy.
But I'm not into jewellery myself and my wedding ring was plain gold band £180 at the time. She wanted me to get something platinum and that looked like a nut for a bolt. Hard No! Sometimes the fancy male stuff goes in and out of fashion quickly.
Anyway engagement and marriage is fantastic. Good luck and enjoy it.
Got the eternity ring a few years ago. Trust me it doesn't get cheaper lol!
Personally think the whole engagement thing is nonsense.
I mean , most couples live together now and maybe have kids together, so it's hardly a surprise for the woman if he asks. .... Just set a date and get on with it
For engagements that happen quickly or out of the blue , some eejit is down on one knee and a woman is caught by surprise, making a lifetime decision in a split second. Marriage kids etc might never have come up yet, or what each other wants in life, or where they'd want to live etc .
Sit down together if you're serious about each other and thrash it out sensibly . You might find you're not right for each other or want different things . But better knowing early before a wedding/kids/mortgage etc..... Romance is bullshit at the end of the day . Life and marriage is not about big romantic gestures , spending stupid amounts of money or throwing a mental wedding
Anyway that's my penny's worth (sorry OP).... must check to see if I have any messages on my match.com account ..............
Quote from: trailer on August 18, 2022, 10:47:23 PM
Proposed abroad myself. All a surprise. Had the ring in my pocket and had to empty them at the security gate! The guy spotted it and disappeared it from her eyes thankfully. So if it's a surprise think about that!
I hope you also dropped a fiver for the security man!
Times have changed! I had just finished my A-Levels and ready to start Queens, decided to propose as it was best way for her to trust me going through the university years (we had been going out since we were 14). Tolld my mate first and me and him headed to the jewellers, I had £20 in my pocket but best ring I seen was £25 so my mate lent me £5. Proposed that night, she was over the moon with the ring. Still had it 15 years later before eventually a stone fell out and we bought a new one. Still with me 31 years later. Honestly if yous are right for each other the price of the ring doesn't matter, if it looks good and she wants to get engaged then that's all you need
Quote from: PMG1 on August 19, 2022, 01:31:59 AM
Times have changed! I had just finished my A-Levels and ready to start Queens, decided to propose as it was best way for her to trust me going through the university years (we had been going out since we were 14). Tolld my mate first and me and him headed to the jewellers, I had £20 in my pocket but best ring I seen was £25 so my mate lent me £5. Proposed that night, she was over the moon with the ring. Still had it 15 years later before eventually a stone fell out and we bought a new one. Still with me 31 years later. Honestly if yous are right for each other the price of the ring doesn't matter, if it looks good and she wants to get engaged then that's all you need
This is the best story yet.
Lads spending 2 or 3 times salary's need to cop on, same with lads saying you need to buy big.
If she's right for you and wants to spend forever with you she won't care what size the ring is or how much it cost. It's a big red flag imo if she gets huffy over the size or cost of something like that.
Thanks very much all, great stories
Took her to Dublin and let her pick a ring, whatever one she wanted and then I haggled with the guy and he took a fair bit off it as I was paying him sterling rather than punts!!
Lost one of the diamonds years later and feeling flush couple of years ago I took it to the local jewelers and had it assessed for new diamond and fixing it, the cost was 3 times what I paid to replace one of the diamonds and have it attached !
Feck that, she's not into that stuff anyways, she'd rather spend the money on the house
Yet again the GAA Board lets ye down a bagful.
Its clear from reading this (and other threads) that women are nothing but high maintenance, shallow doses, and men have turned into a crowd of oul jinnies.
If a woman is wrapped up that much in image and immaterial oul shite then they're not worth the hassle to be fair. And dont give me the bullshit about eternal symbol of your love, and putting a price on how you feel etc. Nonsense.
Some of ye want to have a word with yourselves, worrying what the woman's friends will think of their rings. If my wife's friend chastised me over ring selection i wouldnt be long telling her where to go.
The night i proposed to the Mrs is the night I nearly forgot to. Started my first prop job so had a few bob, bought the ring with one months salary ( 25 yrs ago). Arranged to meet her at a restaurant in town after work on a Friday night, mate out of work said c'mon for a few pints for abit of dutch courage. Anyway bar in town launching a promotion for these pints of something called Stella artois or something. 4 pints later..blootered 'what the fk is this stuff..rocketfuel?? Checked the phone 300 missed calls 'where the fk are you. Lets say I broke the land speed record from the bar to restaurant.
The hour and half of radio silence was worth it in the end.
Quote from: Brick Tamlin on August 19, 2022, 09:26:37 AM
Yet again the GAA Board lets ye down a bagful.
Its clear from reading this (and other threads) that women are nothing but high maintenance, shallow doses, and men have turned into a crowd of oul jinnies.
If a woman is wrapped up that much in image and immaterial oul shite then they're not worth the hassle to be fair. And dont give me the bullshit about eternal symbol of your love, and putting a price on how you feel etc. Nonsense.
Some of ye want to have a word with yourselves, worrying what the woman's friends will think of their rings. If my wife's friend chastised me over ring selection i wouldnt be long telling her where to go.
Brick is walking a fine line to being cancelled
Quote from: Brick Tamlin on August 19, 2022, 09:26:37 AM
Some of ye want to have a word with yourselves, worrying what the woman's friends will think of their rings. If my wife's friend chastised me over ring selection i wouldnt be long telling her where to go.
Tell them that the diamond was not the thing whose size convinced your wife, it was your heart.
Some lads really defensive and overthinking things here. Probably the inferiority complexes at play.
And some of ye's give out about Cavan people.
Quote from: trailer on August 19, 2022, 12:26:46 PM
And some of ye's give out about Cavan people.
In Cavan they use onion rings.
Glad I married a very practical country girl.
Think I started a thread on weddings a few years ago, I didn't have anything too positive to say IIRC. The one-upmanship in young uns getting married is still escalating.
I did quite a bit of research when I was doing it - doesn't take long to read up on 4 c's and some good advice out there on what to prioritise. I found this article v good https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2002/feb/13/shopping.familyandrelationships1#:~:text=The%20Four%20Cs,%2C%20colour%2C%20clarity%20and%20carat.
I also found that online retailers were much much better value than local jewellers. I used jamesallen.com. You select a diamond, then a fitting. I decided what I wanted in terms of a diamond and checked against local jewellers who seemed to only have worse stones, for significantly higher prices, certainly within the bracket I was looking.
V happy with whole process, and my wife loves it.
Quote from: haranguerer on August 19, 2022, 12:56:51 PM
I did quite a bit of research when I was doing it - doesn't take long to read up on 4 c's and some good advice out there on what to prioritise. I found this article v good https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2002/feb/13/shopping.familyandrelationships1#:~:text=The%20Four%20Cs,%2C%20colour%2C%20clarity%20and%20carat.
I also found that online retailers were much much better value than local jewellers. I used jamesallen.com. You select a diamond, then a fitting. I decided what I wanted in terms of a diamond and checked against local jewellers who seemed to only have worse stones, for significantly higher prices, certainly within the bracket I was looking.
V happy with whole process, and my wife loves it.
What about the wedding ring?
Quote from: Tony Baloney on August 19, 2022, 01:00:57 PM
Quote from: haranguerer on August 19, 2022, 12:56:51 PM
I did quite a bit of research when I was doing it - doesn't take long to read up on 4 c's and some good advice out there on what to prioritise. I found this article v good https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2002/feb/13/shopping.familyandrelationships1#:~:text=The%20Four%20Cs,%2C%20colour%2C%20clarity%20and%20carat.
I also found that online retailers were much much better value than local jewellers. I used jamesallen.com. You select a diamond, then a fitting. I decided what I wanted in terms of a diamond and checked against local jewellers who seemed to only have worse stones, for significantly higher prices, certainly within the bracket I was looking.
V happy with whole process, and my wife loves it.
What about the wedding ring?
Beat me too it ;D
I'm lost ???