I propose a thread to keep some of the best retorts, comebacks and general smart alec comments on GAABaord.
You can't nominate yourself, best if someone you have put down does it.
As an Armagh man I can propose this from discussion of Gough's red cards.
Quote from: BennyHarp on February 06, 2022, 03:58:02 PM
Ref hadn't a clue what to do so just decided to allocate red cards based on All Ireland titles.
5ive Times to Pints of Guinness: Pints, if I ever find out who you are, I'll see that you're never fit to work a computer again.
Quote from: Dougal Maguire on February 08, 2022, 12:07:37 AM
5ive Times to Pints of Guinness: Pints, if I ever find out who you are, I'll see that you're never fit to work a computer again.
memory is hazy. Did he turn up at his workplace? Or was that Fearon?
Tyrone being described as calves let loose after winter when they get to Croke Park. Seafoid I think.
Quote from: Never beat the deeler on February 08, 2022, 06:19:12 AM
Quote from: Dougal Maguire on February 08, 2022, 12:07:37 AM
5ive Times to Pints of Guinness: Pints, if I ever find out who you are, I'll see that you're never fit to work a computer again.
memory is hazy. Did he turn up at his workplace? Or was that Fearon?
Think Fearon got a visit. I dont advocate violence but if he had got one cuff round the lugs would it have been the worst thing ever 😃
Maybe not a single retort but the whole Booking the Hotel for the wrong day by Fearon was classic
The 0 3 Arena
Gaaboardmod3
• Global Moderator
• Posts: 605
Some time in 2014
« Reply #64 on: Today at 02:14:51 PM »
• Nobody was banned, or has ever been banned, for disagreeing with a moderator. Tony was banned because he had been warned, and he still persisted in posting comments which he knows, and everyone else knows, are designed to provoke a negative reaction.
That particular topic (Hillsborough/Munich/Heysel) has been out of bounds on this board for many years. This is not new. And as I mentioned, Tony had been warned.
Quote from: laoislad on February 08, 2022, 09:36:00 AM
The 0 3 Arena
😂😂
That was so bad a poster had to leave in shame and then reincarnate himself. Kudos to bcb1 i believe for that one. But anyway, this thread isnt about point scoring 😉😃
[/quote]
Think Fearon got a visit. I dont advocate violence but if he had got one cuff round the lugs would it have been the worst thing ever 😃
[/quote]dd
I thought Tony was visited when he wrote about the OWC?
Quote from: quit yo jibbajabba on February 08, 2022, 10:48:19 AM
Quote from: laoislad on February 08, 2022, 09:36:00 AM
The 0 3 Arena
😂😂
That was so bad a poster had to leave in shame and then reincarnate himself. Kudos to bcb1 i believe for that one. But anyway, this thread isnt about point scoring 😉😃
What poster?
Syferus had many a funny post here.
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on February 08, 2022, 09:31:17 AM
Maybe not a single retort but the whole Booking the Hotel for the wrong day by Fearon was classic
You're wrong there BCB. Easytiger's retort on the hotel booking fiasco was easily the best post ever on the GAABoard. It was basically a satirical skit, featuring Gene Hackman as Fearon booking the wrong date, blathering on pompously about Armagh, speaking over the receptionist who eventually had to give up on correcting him on the date. It then featured Krusty the Clown as Fearon calling back (in vain) to change dates.
20 years ago and I still remember it clearly!
Quote from: Farrandeelin on February 08, 2022, 10:57:09 AM
Quote from: quit yo jibbajabba on February 08, 2022, 10:48:19 AM
Quote from: laoislad on February 08, 2022, 09:36:00 AM
The 0 3 Arena
😂😂
That was so bad a poster had to leave in shame and then reincarnate himself. Kudos to bcb1 i believe for that one. But anyway, this thread isnt about point scoring 😉😃
What poster?
Ach its nearly not right mentioning names
Ec.unique/GJL 😉
Quote from: APM on February 08, 2022, 11:12:21 AM
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on February 08, 2022, 09:31:17 AM
Maybe not a single retort but the whole Booking the Hotel for the wrong day by Fearon was classic
You're wrong there BCB. Easytiger's retort on the hotel booking fiasco was easily the best post ever on the GAABoard. It was basically a satirical skit, featuring Gene Hackman as Fearon booking the wrong date, blathering on pompously about Armagh, speaking over the receptionist who eventually had to give up on correcting him on the date. It then featured Krusty the Clown as Fearon calling back (in vain) to change dates.
20 years ago and I still remember it clearly!
Please tell me this is still on the board somewhere
slightly off topic, but some great ones from the Mucksavage thread, one of the greatest threads ever.
Quote from: Denn Forever on February 08, 2022, 10:56:59 AM
Think Fearon got a visit. I dont advocate violence but if he had got one cuff round the lugs would it have been the worst thing ever 😃
[/quote]dd
I thought Tony was visited when he wrote about the OWC?
[/quote]
SBE Mac landed down to warrenpoint credit union one day. Very amicable conversation followed, according to both accounts.
Just read the 1st page of the death notices thread
Couple of good ones there
I guess it was started on Holy Thursday
PS thread still going strong after near 15 years despite it being laughed at
Quote from: Hoof Hearted on February 08, 2022, 01:21:39 PM
Just read the 1st page of the death notices thread
Couple of good ones there
I guess it was started on Holy Thursday
PS thread still going strong after near 15 years despite it being laughed at
;D Heganboy (remember him?) put a touching tribute to Jesus of Nazareth on Page 2. RIP.
Quote from: Hoof Hearted on February 08, 2022, 01:21:39 PM
Just read the 1st page of the death notices thread
Couple of good ones there
I guess it was started on Holy Thursday
PS thread still going strong after near 15 years despite it being laughed at
When you read through the first few pages actually it's quite funny
Quote from: Farrandeelin on February 08, 2022, 11:02:20 AM
Syferus had many a funny post here.
We're still getting them on stolensheep ::)
Quote from: Square Ball on February 08, 2022, 11:55:38 AM
slightly off topic, but some great ones from the Mucksavage thread, one of the greatest threads ever.
is that thread still knocking about?
Guys, you are going to have to post these great posts and not just allude to their mythical existence.
Quote from: armaghniac on February 09, 2022, 05:17:57 PM
Guys, you are going to have to post these great posts and not just allude to their mythical existence.
Think Ziggy, sorry a mod deleted it as it was getting out of hand. Some great stories on it.
I think a link was shared before of that thread, it was off its time and that is the best I could say about it...
The last best one that I remember was One Nail Looney on the trail of acquiring an Irish passport, a tragi-comic tale.
Easytiger's pre-match piece of Meath v Tyrone in Omagh circa 2017 remains one of the finest pieces of comedy I've ever read.
Quote from: Main Street on February 09, 2022, 06:58:45 PM
The last best one that I remember was One Nail Looney on the trail of acquiring an Irish passport, a tragi-comic tale.
It was gripping, we were all invested in the journey.
Posts lads, not memories.
Just to practice what I preach
--------------------------------------
asytiger – Posts: 699 – (11/8/03 17:35)
Reply The Conversation - starring Gene Hackman as Tony Fearon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Receptionist: "Hello, City West. How can I help you?"
TF: "Yes, hello? Judging by your accent, you are not from Armagh and may not be aware that on the 21st of September, in the Cathedral we call Croke, a new glorious reign will be invoked..."
Receptionist: "I'm sorry sir, but there are other calls on my switchboard."
TF: "...as the Great McGeeney flexes his manly biceps and lifts the sacred cup above his Bryonic brow, surveying the gathered masses, disdainful of the Tyrone hordes put to flight as once again Sam Maguire makes his voyage north, as Ulyssess once set forth for Ithaca..."
Receptionist: "Sam Magure? You mean the football? But is that not on -"
TF: " And as Joe and his Orange Brigade shall be setting up camp, as it were for the weekend in your fine establishment, accompanied no doubt by such flaming celestial stars as Elton John, Rod Stewart, Jarlath Burns and maybe the boys from End to End, with whom I am of course on a first name basis, or should I say they are on a first name basis with me (giggles girlishly) but I digress! As such may I book a room for myself, my fine maiden, but not my mother, she didn't get a ticket, hard lines, she's not a true fan, for the 20th and 21st of the month of September."
Receptionist: "(to herself) For f**ks sake. (smartening up) Of course sir, we have a fine room for a great rate of €100 for that weekend."
TF: "Splendid! Expect my arrival forthwith! Now I must not tarry as there is a table quiz on in the local hostelry tonight, the prize being an epic trip to historic Bunratty Castle for two nights, breakfast included -"
Receptionist: "(hanging up) I'm not paid enough to listen to that shite. I hope I'm off that weekend."
The Conversation 2 - starring Krusty the Klown as Tony Fearon
Receptionist: "Hello City West?"
TF:" Due to the machinations of a GAA administration that is too far removed from the grassroots that sustain it i.e. me, the All Ireland Final has been rescheduled a week later than promised, almost as if the very thought of good, honest Armagh men cavorting with Sam was too hard for the faceless grey suits to bear-"
Receptionist: "Sir, you got the dates wrong and now you want to change your reservation to the following week, is that right sir? And tell the truth."
TF: "...yes."
Receptionist: "We have no rooms available for that weekend and we do not refund on cancellations. Is that alright sir?"
TF: "...yes."
Receptionist: "Goodbye sir.(hangs up) Plank."
Quality!
Quote from: armaghniac on February 09, 2022, 10:27:37 PM
Posts lads, not memories.
Just to practice what I preach
--------------------------------------
asytiger – Posts: 699 – (11/8/03 17:35)
Reply The Conversation - starring Gene Hackman as Tony Fearon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Receptionist: "Hello, City West. How can I help you?"
TF: "Yes, hello? Judging by your accent, you are not from Armagh and may not be aware that on the 21st of September, in the Cathedral we call Croke, a new glorious reign will be invoked..."
Receptionist: "I'm sorry sir, but there are other calls on my switchboard."
TF: "...as the Great McGeeney flexes his manly biceps and lifts the sacred cup above his Bryonic brow, surveying the gathered masses, disdainful of the Tyrone hordes put to flight as once again Sam Maguire makes his voyage north, as Ulyssess once set forth for Ithaca..."
Receptionist: "Sam Magure? You mean the football? But is that not on -"
TF: " And as Joe and his Orange Brigade shall be setting up camp, as it were for the weekend in your fine establishment, accompanied no doubt by such flaming celestial stars as Elton John, Rod Stewart, Jarlath Burns and maybe the boys from End to End, with whom I am of course on a first name basis, or should I say they are on a first name basis with me (giggles girlishly) but I digress! As such may I book a room for myself, my fine maiden, but not my mother, she didn't get a ticket, hard lines, she's not a true fan, for the 20th and 21st of the month of September."
Receptionist: "(to herself) For f**ks sake. (smartening up) Of course sir, we have a fine room for a great rate of €100 for that weekend."
TF: "Splendid! Expect my arrival forthwith! Now I must not tarry as there is a table quiz on in the local hostelry tonight, the prize being an epic trip to historic Bunratty Castle for two nights, breakfast included -"
Receptionist: "(hanging up) I'm not paid enough to listen to that shite. I hope I'm off that weekend."
The Conversation 2 - starring Krusty the Klown as Tony Fearon
Receptionist: "Hello City West?"
TF:" Due to the machinations of a GAA administration that is too far removed from the grassroots that sustain it i.e. me, the All Ireland Final has been rescheduled a week later than promised, almost as if the very thought of good, honest Armagh men cavorting with Sam was too hard for the faceless grey suits to bear-"
Receptionist: "Sir, you got the dates wrong and now you want to change your reservation to the following week, is that right sir? And tell the truth."
TF: "...yes."
Receptionist: "We have no rooms available for that weekend and we do not refund on cancellations. Is that alright sir?"
TF: "...yes."
Receptionist: "Goodbye sir.(hangs up) Plank."
That's the one I was talking about. Where did you find it?
There was a stroke of genius about Easytiger
Quote from: Rois on February 09, 2022, 09:32:43 PM
Quote from: Main Street on February 09, 2022, 06:58:45 PM
The last best one that I remember was One Nail Looney on the trail of acquiring an Irish passport, a tragi-comic tale.
It was gripping, we were all invested in the journey.
It took a good search but here is the thread, from 2008.
http://gaaboard.com/board/index.php?topic=9024.0 (http://gaaboard.com/board/index.php?topic=9024.0)
It starts off
"
Cant find my birth certificate and need one by tomorrow!!
How can i get one, and how much?"
Quote from: APM on February 10, 2022, 11:04:14 AM
That's the one I was talking about. Where did you find it?
There was a stroke of genius about Easytiger
I was never any good at football, but I am the Rian O'Neill of Google search.