Do dumb people know they are dumb?
I am not talking about mentally handicapped people just normal dumb - stupid people.
In the hardware store yesterday when a big snow storm was moving in, Einstein behind me in the checkout line tells me " you know if it wasn't this cold outside it wouldn't snow today." ???
Returned to same hardware store today to return a crappy snow shovel (plastic/metal) that bends and twists when you try to use it.
Return lady asks " is there something wrong with the shovel ?" and I tell her "I picked up the left handed shovel instead of a right handed shovel and need to exchange it for a different one." Return lady " well that is the only shipment we have in so they are probably all left handed, would you like your money back ?" :o :o
well now I'd say most women would fall for that one in fairness.
As for yer man, get him a job at Met Eireann :D
was at the meat counter the last day and asked for a kilo of ham. The read came up at .99kg and yer wan says 'will that do'. I should have said 'no, I asked for a kilo' . . ::)
actually you can buy left or right handed shovels, seen it myself in vermont.Handles twist in the middle either direction depending on which one you buy.
Different countries offer different ways of stupidity, france has plain stupid with arrogance, i.e they block the footpath or aisle in the shop and get annoyed when asked to move nicely, this is common.
Irish stupidity is mainly held by the lesser edgemicated and they work in shops but still cannot do anything above a simple task, "I don't know if we sell paint" or " whats a 1/4 steel bit?".
The USA then has the stupid spread up the ranks, bank manager in queens ny did not know how to use the computer and was blaming her training, this is the honest truth. Girl at DMV (car place) in manhattan asked me where I was from and that I spoke very good english, she was serious and wondered if Ireland was near italy because she had family who went there once.Teachers in the public system,i know a few and they would not teach a cat to drink milk, some of the stuff they don't know is hard to explain, plain dumb, but they get paid anyway.
ANyway, best to say nothing or else be nice, ignorance is bliss in some cases.
Americans in general are stupid, they annoy the shit outa me.
"Do you know Stephen from Dublin?" f**k sake.
And girls in general are stupid too. A few weeks back in my womans house they were flicking through a magazine and they came across a picture of Ronaldo with his top off.
"Jesus they've pasted his head on my body" I said.
"Is that not Ronaldos body?" replied one of her housemates. What the f**k like, she was dead serious too, I have no time for people like that.
A friend of mine told his girlfriend that cats eyes on the road were for blind drivers so they knew when they were over the line. "Aye, I suppose that makes sense" she said. Stupid!!!!
Quote from: SidelineKick on December 18, 2008, 09:06:01 AM
"Jesus they've pasted his head on my body" I said.
:D :D
Its a wonder they didnt explode with laughter sk
Quote from: full back on December 18, 2008, 09:11:24 AM
Quote from: SidelineKick on December 18, 2008, 09:06:01 AM
"Jesus they've pasted his head on my body" I said.
:D :D
Its a wonder they didnt explode with laughter sk
What with all those press ups and sit ups and indoor soccer sure I mustn't be far off :D
The amount of thick people i meet over here in England is staggering. Little Britain isnt so far removed from reality at all. There was a group in the pub next to us that were going on and on about "she disrespected me" and "she did this and that blah blah blah" and all this shite like their on some f**king soap. Huge amounts of idiots who worship airheads like the beckhams or peter and jordan.
As an English friend of mine said, the reason they didnt get the vote on Lisbon was because the majority of people are too thick. They would just do whatever The Sun tells them although they're too busy staring at the knockers on page 3 to bother reading it.
Mind you a fair amount of Irish people would fit into that catagory too.
When i was in Florida some blade was asking me all about back home (she was flirting with me) and i couldn't get through to her thick head that "we don't run around with guns shooting anything that moves" she said she couldn't gather the courage to go to Ireland...she then followed on with "what part of Scotland is Ireland in anyway" so i was gone like a flash. The yanks really piss me off, their problem is they only get taught American history & geography in school therefore know nothing else about the rest of the world...
Quote from: illdecide on December 18, 2008, 09:53:09 AM
When i was in Florida some blade was asking me all about back home (she was flirting with me)
This board is a f**king laugh this morning, we have sideline running about thinking he has the body of Ronaldo & we have illdecide thinking a woman was flirting with him (if you pay her it doesnt count as flirting ;) )
You boys are some craic :D
Our champion office thicko this morning denied the existence of the Gulf Stream. She is moving (thank christ) to the Bristol area and someone tongue in cheek said ah sure it will be nicer down there, near the coast and warmed by the gulf stream etc. She said piss off there is no such thing.
Quote from: illdecide on December 18, 2008, 09:53:09 AM
When i was in Florida some blade was asking me all about back home (she was flirting with me) and i couldn't get through to her thick head that "we don't run around with guns shooting anything that moves" she said she couldn't gather the courage to go to Ireland...she then followed on with "what part of Scotland is Ireland in anyway" so i was gone like a flash. The yanks really piss me off, their problem is they only get taught American history & geography in school therefore know nothing else about the rest of the world...
Somethings that have been said to me by Dublin girls -
What part of belfast is Tyrone in?
What currencey do they use in Monaghan?
I've never been to Tyrone but I was in County Drogheda.
Ah, your from the north, Donegal or Belfast?
On behalf of all dumb people, I take exception at this thread. We try our best, but sometimes that aint just good enough :-\
On behalf of all dumb people, I take exception at this thread. We try our best, but sometimes that aint just good enough :-\
On behalf of all dumb people, I take exception at this thread. We try our best, but sometimes that aint just good enough :-\
lad i know has to take the biscuit, thick as champ...
"Boys, can you really get blood from a stone??"
"Here I've got the reflections of a cat!"
"Aye Co.Comerford.. aye I've been there, my da took me fishing there once" (We told him a new county had been created down south)
"Imagine you just looked at that tree and it gave ya cancer"
"Is there a Lurgan Man Utd!?"
Also, upon hearing the Barry Robson tune Celtic fans sing, another lad asked "whos barry robson, does he drink in the ashburn?"
I believe that Ireland is one of the dumbest countries around, probably up there / above the US and the UK.
Quote from: Tankie on December 18, 2008, 11:27:06 AM
I believe that Ireland is one of the dumbest countries around, probably up there / above the US and the UK.
Exemplified perfectly with that statement.
Quote from: Donagh on December 18, 2008, 11:30:17 AM
Quote from: Tankie on December 18, 2008, 11:27:06 AM
I believe that Ireland is one of the dumbest countries around, probably up there / above the US and the UK.
Exemplified perfectly with that statement.
you think...
I find it hard to believe that people are posting that the UK are dumb and not consider a huge amount of people in this country dumb
I CANNOT FIND THE "ANY" BUTTON ON MY COMPUTER!
DISC DRIVE POPS OUT . "OH LOOK IT HAS A COFFEE CUP HOLDER BUILT IN".
HEARD A FEW OTHERS BUT THEY ARE BURIED IN THE DARK RECESS OF MY CEREBULUM CORTEX THING.
Americans again:
"Do they have Christmas in ireland?"
Quote from: Square Ball on December 18, 2008, 12:58:33 PM
Americans again:
"Do they have Christmas in ireland?"
Well???
The suspense is killing me...
'What's the capital of England? I'll give you a clue, you live there!'
When I worked in England and disclosed where I was from to a member of staff, an ICT teacher from Birmingham asked me if I lived near County Durham.
Last week, a teacher asked me (after having a brief conversation about polo) if the horses stayed under the water in water-polo, albeit for about 4-5 seconds before the quality of their utterance dawned on them.
And they wonder why our teenagers are dumb.
These shite tv shows are the main causes of our dumb society, between Ch4 and MTV they show some crap, and the dumber you are, the richer you seem to be. between Super Sweet 16, The hills etc its no wonder people have lost it. I work with people who dont even watch the news or read the paper!!!
Thread seems to be going in a different direction and I blame it on my post as it wasn't totally clear. I know there are dumb/stupid people in every country and walk of life.
What I should have stated is " I know I am average to a little above average intellectually - couldn't solve complex physics problems but have general knowledge and common sense. But how do some people function in a society when you wonder how they were able to actually tie their shoes and put the shoes on the right feet after hearing them spout off with thoughts or statements that leaves you scratching your head ?"
Almost every person has a special area of interest/job/hobby or what have you were their knowledge is somewhat thorough but when it comes to common sense the door is wide open and no ones home, these are the people who scare me and I wonder about.
What's even more worrying is when they get voted into high office.
Some comic on TV last night: "When the Iraq war started, little did George Bush know". Full stop. Pause. Laughter.
I often find those that are highly educated are the ones with the least common sense..
I was at a table quiz a few years ago and a teacher from a very successful North Antrim sporting school was on our team. The question was name all the Channel Islands if i remember right, her contribution was "The Falklands"..........
Quote from: RedandGreenSniper on December 18, 2008, 02:04:30 PM
'What's the capital of England? I'll give you a clue, you live there!'
E?
Perhaps only people who have never said anything dumb or done anything dumb (drink is not an excuse) should be allowed post on this thread - I can't as 4 weeks ago I put unleaded petrol in my diesel jeep :-[
Jaysis, he's a southside parent a wet week, and now he has a jeep. Go bhfóire Dia orainn go léir!!
QuoteJaysis, he's a southside parent a wet week, and now he has a jeep. Go bhfóire Dia orainn go léir!!
:D
It's actually a commercial so no good for the bambino, so shut it and get back to counting votes. Poor Glen doesn't realise what he's letting himself in for.
Quote from: Dinny Breen on December 18, 2008, 03:33:47 PM
Perhaps only people who have never said anything dumb or done anything dumb (drink is not an excuse) should be allowed post on this thread - I can't as 4 weeks ago I put unleaded petrol in my diesel jeep :-[
I know a fella that did the same thing. Realised his mistake nearly halfway through, filled the rest up with diesel, and went up to pay for "Twenty petrol and thirty diesel", got some look off the cashier... :D
Speaking of dumb, have taken the habit recently of either leaving the back door unlocked, windows open or lights on when leaving the house in the morning...
Quote from: Croí na hÉireann on December 18, 2008, 04:12:27 PM
Quote from: Dinny Breen on December 18, 2008, 03:33:47 PM
Perhaps only people who have never said anything dumb or done anything dumb (drink is not an excuse) should be allowed post on this thread - I can't as 4 weeks ago I put unleaded petrol in my diesel jeep :-[
I know a fella that did the same thing. Realised his mistake nearly halfway through, filled the rest up with diesel, and went up to pay for "Twenty petrol and thirty diesel", got some look off the cashier... :D
Speaking of dumb, have taken the habit recently of either leaving the back door unlocked, windows open or lights on when leaving the house in the morning...
What's your address?
I was once asked "are there roads in Ireland".... Had to walk away :o
Quote from: Tankie on December 18, 2008, 11:27:06 AM
I believe that Ireland is one of the dumbest countries around, probably up there / above the US and the UK.
We might have a few more days to go but i think this may well be post of the year (in several categories)
Quote from: ludermor on December 18, 2008, 05:15:35 PM
Quote from: Tankie on December 18, 2008, 11:27:06 AM
I believe that Ireland is one of the dumbest countries around, probably up there / above the US and the UK.
We might have a few more days to go but i think this may well be post of the year (in several categories)
Was asked once in the States if we had electricity in Ireland.
Said yea but it is a lot slower than in the States.
"Really how does that work?"
Said well it means that when I go to bed I hit the switch, then climb into bed, read my book for a while and then the light goes out.
"Wow that is soooo cool."
Quote from: muppet on December 18, 2008, 06:17:51 PM
Quote from: ludermor on December 18, 2008, 05:15:35 PM
Quote from: Tankie on December 18, 2008, 11:27:06 AM
I believe that Ireland is one of the dumbest countries around, probably up there / above the US and the UK.
We might have a few more days to go but i think this may well be post of the year (in several categories)
Was asked once in the States if we had electricity in Ireland.
Said yea but it is a lot slower than in the States.
"Really how does that work?"
Said well it means that when I go to bed I hit the switch, then climb into bed, read my book for a while and then the light goes out.
"Wow that is soooo cool."
There is actually a switch that you can get called a Time lag switch that works exactly like that...
More fool you ;)
Quote from: The Real Laoislad on December 18, 2008, 06:20:00 PM
Quote from: muppet on December 18, 2008, 06:17:51 PM
Quote from: ludermor on December 18, 2008, 05:15:35 PM
Quote from: Tankie on December 18, 2008, 11:27:06 AM
I believe that Ireland is one of the dumbest countries around, probably up there / above the US and the UK.
We might have a few more days to go but i think this may well be post of the year (in several categories)
Was asked once in the States if we had electricity in Ireland.
Said yea but it is a lot slower than in the States.
"Really how does that work?"
Said well it means that when I go to bed I hit the switch, then climb into bed, read my book for a while and then the light goes out.
"Wow that is soooo cool."
There is actually a switch that you can get called a Time lag switch that works exactly like that...
More fool you ;)
That happened in 1987.
The good people in charge of Burger King appear to have taken leave of their senses. I just took a picture of a burger king gift card that reads:
Burger King
Cold. Hard. Plastic.
Brilliant.
I used to go out with a girl who once asked me what colour was red diesel.
My favourite stories about myths Americans believed are the following:
A guy told me he very seriously got a crowd of Americans to believe that in Ireland we have three lanes of traffic. The outside lane for the fast cars, the middle lane for slow cars, and the inside lane is an emergency lane left free for Guinness trucks in case a pub might run out...
The second story he got them to believe was that we have two types of driving licences. A normal everyday licence and also a special 'drink driving licence', whereby you have to be extremely drunk to take the test and then if you pass your allowed to drink drive...
Quote from: fitzroyalty on December 18, 2008, 11:24:25 AM
lad i know has to take the biscuit, thick as champ...
"Boys, can you really get blood from a stone??"
"Here I've got the reflections of a cat!"
"Aye Co.Comerford.. aye I've been there, my da took me fishing there once" (We told him a new county had been created down south)
"Imagine you just looked at that tree and it gave ya cancer"
"Is there a Lurgan Man Utd!?"
This could be the same boy!! Hes from Lurgan
There was a guy worked with my cousin not sure what his name is but there were 3 other fellas with the same name as him on the site. The boss told him he was the last in so he had to change his name as it was too confusing having too many people with the same name..He then told him it was £1000 a letter to change his name so he would have to pick a short one....He went home that night to think about it and came in the next morning and chose Dave.......Still get's Dave to this day!!!
Quote from: muppet on December 18, 2008, 06:26:52 PM
Quote from: The Real Laoislad on December 18, 2008, 06:20:00 PM
There is actually a switch that you can get called a Time lag switch that works exactly like that...
More fool you ;)
That happened in 1987.
Ali had one in the 70s
Went to College with a lad from Carrick a real dumbass (for some context) and he was going to Dublin for an interview with Aer Lingus and he asked me 'do I need a passport to go to Dublin' - I shit you not, he was for real! I nearly choked and then replied ' I'm not sure, you will need to check it out'!!
know a cub that has put diesel in his petrol motor 3 times-buck eejit has more money than sense.....
Sorry if I told yiz this before, but the day of the attack on the twin towers a local young lad here was asking why we didn't warn New York because we were five hours ahead and knew it before they did.
Quote from: noeldebrun on December 18, 2008, 11:11:34 PM
one of my brothers friends asked me one day if he needed euro's for london
Painting the postboxes green
is working! ;)
A girl I know has the solution to the current banking crisis. ' Why cant Bertie come back and fix all this' and ' if people just left their money in the banks they wouldnt need more money'
I remember one of the lads in our company one night talking about a film he was looking forward to seeing.....he said it was called "Pissgo".....took us ages to figure out what he was talking about until he mentioned it was an Alfred Hitchcock film....he was talking about "Psycho" ???
Girl I know thinks the new President of America is called Berocca Obama as in the vitamin supplement..
sometimes i wouldn't be the brightest star in the sky
things just seem to fall out of my mouth
up until the other day, when me ma explained it i thought the saying "giving someone a wide birth" actually was related to giving birth and had something to do with being dilated!
i now know it has to doing with boats docking!
;D ;D "Wide Berth"
That star is still shining brightly
Did anybody hear the 'just a minute' quiz on 2fm about ten minutes ago? it was embarrassing how stupid those girls were...
Remember watching a match and seeing a player get hit a wee dig on the chin and drop like a stone. I said that fella must have a glass jaw, the girl beside me asked why would they give him a glass one. i still to this day don't know if she was serious or not (she had previous)
Quote from: Tankie on December 21, 2008, 03:02:00 PM
Did anybody hear the 'just a minute' quiz on 2fm about ten minutes ago? it was embarrassing how stupid those girls were...
Sure you'd have to be to listen to that sh1te Station :D
Quote from: Rossfan on December 21, 2008, 05:09:03 PM
Quote from: Tankie on December 21, 2008, 03:02:00 PM
Did anybody hear the 'just a minute' quiz on 2fm about ten minutes ago? it was embarrassing how stupid those girls were...
Sure you'd have to be to listen to that sh1te Station :D
Well i guess that proves my first post on this thread as it is one of the most popular stations in the country. ;)
Armagh4Sam would be one of them!
I thought we'd another thread on stupid things people say...but this one will do...
Got a text from a friend of ours asking had I heard from another friend (he's got a 2 year old and the wife is pregnant)
No, I responded, "but the child wasn't well there with a chest infection and vomiting bug"
Her response was "katie (the 2 year old) or the unborn one?"
:o
WTF
Was watching an Australian quiz show.
Question: Name 15 of the top 20 countries of origin of immigrants to Australia. These should only include full nation states as recognised by the U.N.
The girl starts of well enough
Italy, Greece, Cyprus, Lebanon, Malta, China, India, New Zealand then really struggles.
She then proceeds to say the U.K., Scotland, England. and was not sure if Ireland is in Northern Ireland or the U.K. She also was also unsure if Tasmania was part of Australia or New Zealand, FFS she was from Gippsland, bloody hell woman Tasmania is just across the bloody straits.
Quote from: Doogie Browser on December 18, 2008, 11:03:53 PM
Went to College with a lad from Carrick a real dumbass (for some context) and he was going to Dublin for an interview with Aer Lingus and he asked me 'do I need a passport to go to Dublin' - I shit you not, he was for real! I nearly choked and then replied ' I'm not sure, you will need to check it out'!!
Which Carrick btw? Leitrim, Tipperary!
Earlier this week I came across this comment re the Worlds friendliest nations from an American ::)
http://opentravel.com/blogs/5-friendliest-nations-on-planet-earth/ (http://opentravel.com/blogs/5-friendliest-nations-on-planet-earth/)
Posters namer: You are all stoopid
Dec 12, 2009 12:29 PM
"LOL Im from Georgia and we arent freindly. IN fact, yud better be careful if your an outsider, but epsecially if yur a damn yankee. I am a few hours outside of Atlanta, so its not like im a real redneck but id rather be a redneck then a stoopid new york city bignose who cant handle himself in a fite.
Also- I cant believe no one knew that georgia isnt a nation but a state in the usa..lol idoits."
Quote from: mayogodhelpus@gmail.com on March 06, 2010, 08:05:31 PM
Quote from: Doogie Browser on December 18, 2008, 11:03:53 PM
Went to College with a lad from Carrick a real dumbass (for some context) and he was going to Dublin for an interview with Aer Lingus and he asked me 'do I need a passport to go to Dublin' - I shit you not, he was for real! I nearly choked and then replied ' I'm not sure, you will need to check it out'!!
Which Carrick btw? Leitrim, Tipperary!
Monaghan? Antrim?
Was at a quiz with my mates one night and a question was name the channel islands, my mates wife, who is a teacher offered the Falkland Islands as her answer............
Quote from: Maguire01 on March 06, 2010, 09:15:39 PM
Quote from: mayogodhelpus@gmail.com on March 06, 2010, 08:05:31 PM
Quote from: Doogie Browser on December 18, 2008, 11:03:53 PM
Went to College with a lad from Carrick a real dumbass (for some context) and he was going to Dublin for an interview with Aer Lingus and he asked me 'do I need a passport to go to Dublin' - I shit you not, he was for real! I nearly choked and then replied ' I'm not sure, you will need to check it out'!!
Which Carrick btw? Leitrim, Tipperary!
Monaghan? Antrim?
Donegal?
Quote from: Minder on December 18, 2008, 03:24:51 PM
I was at a table quiz a few years ago and a teacher from a very successful North Antrim sporting school was on our team. The question was name all the Channel Islands if i remember right, her contribution was "The Falklands"..........
Quote from: Minder on March 06, 2010, 09:21:58 PM
Was at a quiz with my mates one night and a question was name the channel islands, my mates wife, who is a teacher offered the Falkland Islands as her answer............
Sick of listening to the same shite.
Quote from: ONeill on March 06, 2010, 09:34:20 PM
Quote from: Minder on December 18, 2008, 03:24:51 PM
I was at a table quiz a few years ago and a teacher from a very successful North Antrim sporting school was on our team. The question was name all the Channel Islands if i remember right, her contribution was "The Falklands"..........
Quote from: Minder on March 06, 2010, 09:21:58 PM
Was at a quiz with my mates one night and a question was name the channel islands, my mates wife, who is a teacher offered the Falkland Islands as her answer............
Sick of listening to the same shite.
Looking forward to Minder's memoirs.
Quote from: ONeill on March 06, 2010, 09:34:20 PM
Quote from: Minder on December 18, 2008, 03:24:51 PM
I was at a table quiz a few years ago and a teacher from a very successful North Antrim sporting school was on our team. The question was name all the Channel Islands if i remember right, her contribution was "The Falklands"..........
Quote from: Minder on March 06, 2010, 09:21:58 PM
Was at a quiz with my mates one night and a question was name the channel islands, my mates wife, who is a teacher offered the Falkland Islands as her answer............
Sick of listening to the same shite.
You have some bastardin' memory
Quote from: Minder on March 06, 2010, 10:00:11 PM
Quote from: ONeill on March 06, 2010, 09:34:20 PM
Quote from: Minder on December 18, 2008, 03:24:51 PM
I was at a table quiz a few years ago and a teacher from a very successful North Antrim sporting school was on our team. The question was name all the Channel Islands if i remember right, her contribution was "The Falklands"..........
Quote from: Minder on March 06, 2010, 09:21:58 PM
Was at a quiz with my mates one night and a question was name the channel islands, my mates wife, who is a teacher offered the Falkland Islands as her answer............
Sick of listening to the same shite.
You have some bastardin' memory
Or he read the previous 4 pages.
Recall this classic from my time in Atlantic City in the 1990s. Mate of mine is a diabetic and had lost his medicine so one night we ate at a Christian hobo place - free of course - and I asked the Pastor if he could help me find a doctor as my friend had no insulin for his Diabetes. He immediately told me that he could not help as Diabetes was God's way of punishing homosexuals .............. ? When I pointed out that he may be thinking of AIDS - not my view - he accused me of probably being HIV also as I was staying with a Diabetic! :-\
Many yaers ago I went to the pictures (as it was once called) to see 'Escape from Alkatras' ... I says to this boy after, 'That is a true story,' and he replied, 'Aye- but it wasn't Clint Eastwood who escaped.' f** oh!
There is a show over her called the newlywed game. anyhow the premise is that they stick say the wife in a booth and then put headphones on and yer man Bob the compere asks him questions about their relationship. he then switches them around and they compare answers, the more right answers, the better the prizes.
One fine day the smug git asked the husband were the strangest place they had ever made love, he told them the kitchen table, no big deal there, next the hubby heads off to the booth and they aske the questions off of the wife and when it gets to the strangest place they have ever made love she thinks for a minute and says.....................................
that'd be in the butt Bob. :D :D :D
It wasnt the husband that did her up the aul durt road either, it was hysterical, the look on his face.
Seen another one Stew from the USA, and they were asked the others most embarrasing thing the other has done. Man says something daft like her going out with odd shoes on or something and audience laughed.
Her turn... "Bill likes to dress up in women's clothing." Yer man goes bright red and the presenter says, 'Wait till the boys at the yard hear this!'... then he goes white as a sheet.
I was at a charity table quiz last week in aid of two teachers going to Africa building houses.
The quiz tables were full of teachers bar my table; four software engineers.
Long story short, we came second by a point. The questions we got wrong were not naming the seven dwarfs (couldnt think of Doc) and naming the RGB colours instead of the primary colours (we are totally institutionalised :P).
Anyway the quiz master was a teacher; an older man who spoke every sentence like he was in the classroom. He must have been the dumbest ass in the room and couldnt pronounce anything properly. He struggled with:
"Ro, Rou, Rouald Daaaale, never heard of him" (Roald Dahl)
When answering the questions he remarked:
"Well nobody will have gotten the next one anyway, what is the Japanese art of paper folding? Or-Or-ig-am-i? I dont know..."
When asking the questions he asked
"Who was ar-ar-ar-isss-totals most famous student" (couldnt pronounce aristotle)
Which was followed by
"who was So-cra-tees S-O-C-R-A-T-E-S most famous student? Socrates?... well I dont know who wrote these questions"
(He obviously never heard of either) ::) :D
OK I know you won't believe this one, but this is the truth.
I was over for dinner at a mates house a few months ago and his missus cooked a great feed. We were chatting about food and I mentioned getting great lamb somewhere. His missus said she no longer ate lamb as she had only recently found out, to her horror, that lamb was in fact none other than baby sheep! She had found this little known piece of knowledge in a book of animals they had bought for their 6 month old daughter.
The fact that this was urban America and not rural Ireland did little to mitigate this act of extreme stupidity from a college educated woman in her 30's.
ross4life
Quote from: Archie Mitchell on March 07, 2010, 02:58:57 AM
ross4life
dump bin, wenn ich Sie müssen das dümmste Mensch auf diesem Planeten dann?
Almost certainly an Urban/Rural Legend, but there is the old story of the American tourist at Bunratty Castle. A tour guide is leading a group of Americans around Bunratty Castle, but there is one Yank making a lot of remarks about brown paper bags in Ireland. After a while the guide turns to the American and asks him what is his problem and what the hell does he mean by brown paper bags. The American loudly announces "You know what they say a about payments of corrupt politicians in brown paper bags and Ireland". Losing his cool the Irishman asks him what the fck has that to do with a tour of Bunratty, to which the Yank exclaims "Well Irish politicians must be very corrupt, in America you would never get planning permission to build a Castle so close to an Airport
Yep, that's an old one. In pre-brown-bag times it was "gee, why'd they build the castle so close to the highway?".
Stew's one is ancient too. First heard it in Drogheda in the seventies about a "Mr and Mrs" (as the show used to be called on UK TV) quiz in Dunleer.
Was asked not so long ago was Lough Neagh man-made ???
Quote from: fitzroyalty on March 07, 2010, 11:53:32 AM
Was asked not so long ago was Lough Neagh man-made ???
Was asked by Yank tourists about 15 years ago if Castlebar got its name because it had so many the pubs. ::)
Good job they didn't go to Stokestown, the lad looked like his cholesterol would be through the roof.
Quote from: fitzroyalty on March 07, 2010, 11:53:32 AM
Was asked not so long ago was Lough Neagh man-made ???
Fionn Mac Cumhaill & Sons Construction
A mate of mine (and also board member here!) that I've known of 3/4 years came to a realisation on Thursday - I'm a dwarf. Told me he never noticed before ::)
Quote from: ziggysego on March 07, 2010, 01:39:43 PM
A mate of mine (and also board member here!) that I've known of 3/4 years came to a realisation on Thursday - I'm a dwarf. Told me he never noticed before ::)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmU_q5xrnto
small vs far away
was asked in Australia if I ever seen a leprechaun :D Dumb git didn't know Leprechauns are extinct :D
We were in the pub one night there and the bit of aul trivia started. I asked the question "which is the only town in Ireland with a palindromic name?". So the lads were having a think about it and one of them who is from Swords (gas man but not much upstairs) goes out for a fag. The other lads worked out quick enough that it was Navan. So yer man comes back in from having a fag and it was obvious he had been asking someone outside so that he wouldnt look a stupid so and so when he came back in but whoever it was stitched him like a kipper. So the dub comes back in and says "i know what it is - ye need to get up a bit earlier to catch me like that - its Navan". "Sound well done Davo"
Then he says " and theres another town with a Palindromic name in the same county and you didnt know that did you". "go on then what is it"
Answer - Ashbourne
Quote from: The Watcher Pat on December 18, 2008, 07:19:09 PM
Quote from: fitzroyalty on December 18, 2008, 11:24:25 AM
lad i know has to take the biscuit, thick as champ...
"Boys, can you really get blood from a stone??"
"Here I've got the reflections of a cat!"
"Aye Co.Comerford.. aye I've been there, my da took me fishing there once" (We told him a new county had been created down south)
"Imagine you just looked at that tree and it gave ya cancer"
"Is there a Lurgan Man Utd!?"
This could be the same boy!! Hes from Lurgan
There was a guy worked with my cousin not sure what his name is but there were 3 other fellas with the same name as him on the site. The boss told him he was the last in so he had to change his name as it was too confusing having too many people with the same name..He then told him it was £1000 a letter to change his name so he would have to pick a short one....He went home that night to think about it and came in the next morning and chose Dave.......Still get's Dave to this day!!!
[/b]
That is hilarious. :D :D :D
Quote from: Zapatista on March 08, 2010, 09:18:49 AM
was asked in Australia if I ever seen a leprechaun :D Dumb git didn't know Leprechauns are extinct :D
Not according to the EU:
Newry Democrat (http://www.newrydemocrat.com/tabId/684/itemId/8985/pageId/2/Leprechaun-hunters-roll-up-for-quest-to-find-gold.aspx) (No date given).
EU protects the Little People
LEPRECHAUNS living in the mountainous terrain around Carlingford can breath (sic)
a collective sigh of relief after their habitat was finally granted protection under EU Law.
The move comes after years of lobbying by lovers of the Little People who feared for the future of the wee folk.
In an official letter to the Committee for the Protection of Little People in Carlingford, the European Environment Agency confirms that the area defined inside the natural walkway known as The Slieve Foye Loop is to be given special protection under the European Union's Habitat Directive.
This provides, according to the letter, "increased protection to a variety of wild animals, plants and habitats and, in particular, the protection of the habitat of leprechauns – the Little People of Ireland".
The letter continues: "We are aware that Carlingford Mountain is unique in that it is the last recognised area of mountain in Ireland where these little people are known to exist.
"We are aware too that their numbers have dwindled to levels near to extinction. We in the EU are delighted to include this area under our protection as part of the global effort to conserve Ireland's, and the world's, biodiversity."
Was out in Derry city one night with a friend who was doing a post grad in Magee College, we where in the strand bar and my mate spyed these 2 girls and said come on and try these 2 things so we dandered over and started talking too them after a few minutes one of the girls said ( imagine the broadest Derry city accent ever )
Derry girl - " where youse from hye"?
Mate - " Dungiven"
Derry Girl - " Where's that at hye"?
Mate - "Where's Dungiven? your joking me?
Derry Girl - "Naw wheres it at hye"?
Mate - "You don't know where Dungiven is at? thats unreal, see when your going to Belfast its the first town you go through".
Derry Girl - "I've never been to Belfast hye".
Mate - "Well see when you cross the bridge, drive for about 15 miles and your in Dungiven".
Derry Girl - "The bridge over into the waterside"?
Mate - "Yep"
Derry Girl - "Sure what would I go over there for hye? Its alls prods over there.
Worked with a boy down the country, thick as two planks... he was asked a phone number and fellow was writing it as he said, 8-2-3-7-sumtin-sumetin-sumetin...
A few years ago I was playing a match against Cargan and there was a bit of a row during the last minutes. I turned to my marker and asked if he knew how it started. He then began to talk about Michael Cusack and Bloody Sunday and he was onto the Tailteann Games when I had cottoned on that he thought I meant the GAA itself. All this time the fight was still going on. It was a very funny time. Even yet I see him at functions and we laugh about it. I would buy a round and then say how did it all start and he's go on about the hops and the rest. Deadly crack.
Quote from: Master Yoda on March 08, 2010, 10:14:49 AM
Was out in Derry city one night with a friend who was doing a post grad in Magee College, we where in the strand bar and my mate spyed these 2 girls and said come on and try these 2 things so we dandered over and started talking too them after a few minutes one of the girls said ( imagine the broadest Derry city accent ever )
Derry girl - " where youse from hye"?
Mate - " Dungiven"
Derry Girl - " Where's that at hye"?
Mate - "Where's Dungiven? your joking me?
Derry Girl - "Naw wheres it at hye"?
Mate - "You don't know where Dungiven is at? thats unreal, see when your going to Belfast its the first town you go through".
Derry Girl - "I've never been to Belfast hye".
Mate - "Well see when you cross the bridge, drive for about 15 miles and your in Dungiven".
Derry Girl - "The bridge over into the waterside"?
Mate - "Yep"
Derry Girl - "Sure what would I go over there for hye? Its alls prods over there.
Derry girls are thick as champ, the whole world revolves around Derry for them.
Worst idiot woman thing I've heard recently was a couple of days ago a girl seriously asked me "isn't there a bridge from england to Ireland somewhere?" She was sure she had seen this on tv. The silly fecker has been to Dublin once as well.
I was out in Phoenix one time, many moons ago, with an Aussie pal of mine. We were in the Blarney Stone (RIP) in Scottsdale, and there was some class of a Bud promotion going on. Anyway, we're playing darts and drinking guinness (God help us) when one of the Bud girls comes over to chat to us and try get us to drink cold urine.
Anyhow, after a few minutes we got the 'Oh my Gawd, your accents are so cool. Where are you guys from?'. Now, bad enough that we were in an Irish pub, and she couldn't spot an Irish accent, but the Aussie lad decided to test her general knowledge.
'He's Irish, but guess where I'm from' (He just stopped himself from saying 'G'Day Sheila')
'Ummm I don't know. Somewhere in Europe?'.
'Guess again. I'll give you a clue. Think of the Olympics.' (The Sydney Olympics had just completed).
'Oh my God. I don't believe it. Mandy come here.....' waves the other girl over frantically.
'You gotta meet these guys. This guy is from Ireland, and this guy is from Olympus'.
A Garda friend of me told me a few stories about a not too clever colleague of his who ended up with the nickname 'Thick Country Soup' as he was fond of his soup and the words 'thick' & 'country' seemed to fit well with him.
When he and another uniformed genius became inseparable they became known as 'Soup and Sandwiches'.
Just wondering has anyone here ever come across this pair in blue?
Knew a lad who used ot be called Thick Country Vegtable but he wasnt a soup!
Quote from: ludermor on March 09, 2010, 02:14:22 PM
Knew a lad who used ot be called Thick Country Vegtable but he wasnt a soup!
Was that not Daniel O'Donnell?
Quote from: AZOffaly on March 09, 2010, 02:17:39 PM
Quote from: ludermor on March 09, 2010, 02:14:22 PM
Knew a lad who used ot be called Thick Country Vegtable but he wasnt a soup!
Was that not Daniel O'Donnell?
Watch yerself, that sorta thing could get you banned.
Quote from: stew on March 06, 2010, 11:52:01 PM
There is a show over her called the newlywed game. anyhow the premise is that they stick say the wife in a booth and then put headphones on and yer man Bob the compere asks him questions about their relationship. he then switches them around and they compare answers, the more right answers, the better the prizes.
One fine day the smug git asked the husband were the strangest place they had ever made love, he told them the kitchen table, no big deal there, next the hubby heads off to the booth and they aske the questions off of the wife and when it gets to the strangest place they have ever made love she thinks for a minute and says.....................................
that'd be in the butt Bob. :D :D :D
It wasnt the husband that did her up the aul durt road either, it was hysterical, the look on his face.
That story is usually told about a show on Australian radio.
Found this on An Fear Rua...great stuff
http://www.hof.org.uk/showthread.php?t=2403
You'll do some laughing at how stupid this person "stuwall" is and how long it takes the penny to drop ....priceless!
DirtyDozen12 claims that if you drink vodka and red bull you are sure to die 'at some stage.'
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KOo7HznCCw8/ReGM82qiGtI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/FBdgfS_hAfo/s400/croke.jpg)
Quote from: mayogodhelpus@gmail.com on March 09, 2010, 07:12:11 PM
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KOo7HznCCw8/ReGM82qiGtI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/FBdgfS_hAfo/s400/croke.jpg)
I think it's well-established that that picture has been photoshopped
My da has a mate called 'Bungalow' because theres nothing upstairs.
Always thought it was a great nickname!
Quote from: Rav67 on March 09, 2010, 07:23:50 PM
Quote from: mayogodhelpus@gmail.com on March 09, 2010, 07:12:11 PM
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KOo7HznCCw8/ReGM82qiGtI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/FBdgfS_hAfo/s400/croke.jpg)
I think it's well-established that that picture has been photoshopped
I remember that picure at the time and AFAIK theres was no talk of it being photoshopped initially
Quote from: Bensars on March 09, 2010, 08:41:05 PM
Quote from: Rav67 on March 09, 2010, 07:23:50 PM
Quote from: mayogodhelpus@gmail.com on March 09, 2010, 07:12:11 PM
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KOo7HznCCw8/ReGM82qiGtI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/FBdgfS_hAfo/s400/croke.jpg)
I think it's well-established that that picture has been photoshopped
I remember that picure at the time and AFAIK theres was no talk of it being photoshopped initially
Yeah I'm pretty sure it wasn't a photoshop job either.
Quote from: Geoff Tipps on March 09, 2010, 08:49:45 PM
Quote from: Bensars on March 09, 2010, 08:41:05 PM
Quote from: Rav67 on March 09, 2010, 07:23:50 PM
Quote from: mayogodhelpus@gmail.com on March 09, 2010, 07:12:11 PM
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KOo7HznCCw8/ReGM82qiGtI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/FBdgfS_hAfo/s400/croke.jpg)
I think it's well-established that that picture has been photoshopped
I remember that picure at the time and AFAIK theres was no talk of it being photoshopped initially
Yeah I'm pretty sure it wasn't a photoshop job either.
Don't think it was a photoshop either but I think it was a set up by some photogragper. No picture exists of the guys face as far as I know and any photogragpher worth their salt would have got that at least. The sign isn't blocking his face by accident. He's also facing a different direction than the other protesters.
Any there any other photo's or video images of the guy?
Quote from: Zapatista on March 09, 2010, 09:16:10 PM
Quote from: Geoff Tipps on March 09, 2010, 08:49:45 PM
Quote from: Bensars on March 09, 2010, 08:41:05 PM
Quote from: Rav67 on March 09, 2010, 07:23:50 PM
Quote from: mayogodhelpus@gmail.com on March 09, 2010, 07:12:11 PM
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KOo7HznCCw8/ReGM82qiGtI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/FBdgfS_hAfo/s400/croke.jpg)
I think it's well-established that that picture has been photoshopped
I remember that picure at the time and AFAIK theres was no talk of it being photoshopped initially
Yeah I'm pretty sure it wasn't a photoshop job either.
Don't think it was a photoshop either but I think it was a set up by some photogragper. No picture exists of the guys face as far as I know and any photogragpher worth their salt would have got that at least. The sign isn't blocking his face by accident. He's also facing a different direction than the other protesters.
Any there any other photo's or video images of the guy?
Maybe the photographer asked him for a photo, so he turned in his direction. However didn't want his face plastered all over the press, so covered his face with the sign.
PS Never heard anything about it being PhotoShopped either.
Quote from: ziggysego on March 09, 2010, 09:18:53 PM
Maybe the photographer asked him for a photo, so he turned in his direction. However didn't want his face plastered all over the press, so covered his face with the sign.
PS Never heard anything about it being PhotoShopped either.
The idea of a protest is to highlight an issue and to be seen highlighting it. Not much of a protest if photogragphers need to ask for a photo.
Are there any other photo's or video clips?
Quote from: Zapatista on March 09, 2010, 09:21:32 PM
Quote from: ziggysego on March 09, 2010, 09:18:53 PM
Maybe the photographer asked him for a photo, so he turned in his direction. However didn't want his face plastered all over the press, so covered his face with the sign.
PS Never heard anything about it being PhotoShopped either.
The idea of a protest is to highlight an issue and to be seen highlighting it. Not much of a protest if photogragphers need to ask for a photo.
Are there any other photo's or video clips?
You often see photographers asking people for a photo at protests.
Quote from: ziggysego on March 09, 2010, 09:18:53 PM
Quote from: Zapatista on March 09, 2010, 09:16:10 PM
Quote from: Geoff Tipps on March 09, 2010, 08:49:45 PM
Quote from: Bensars on March 09, 2010, 08:41:05 PM
Quote from: Rav67 on March 09, 2010, 07:23:50 PM
Quote from: mayogodhelpus@gmail.com on March 09, 2010, 07:12:11 PM
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KOo7HznCCw8/ReGM82qiGtI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/FBdgfS_hAfo/s400/croke.jpg)
I think it's well-established that that picture has been photoshopped
I remember that picure at the time and AFAIK theres was no talk of it being photoshopped initially
Yeah I'm pretty sure it wasn't a photoshop job either.
Don't think it was a photoshop either but I think it was a set up by some photogragper. No picture exists of the guys face as far as I know and any photogragpher worth their salt would have got that at least. The sign isn't blocking his face by accident. He's also facing a different direction than the other protesters.
Any there any other photo's or video images of the guy?
Maybe the photographer asked him for a photo, so he turned in his direction. However didn't want his face plastered all over the press, so covered his face with the sign.
PS Never heard anything about it being PhotoShopped either.
I never believed that picture. Have you ever seen a real spide/kn**ker/protester sporting a white tracksuit jacket that clean? I rest my case m'lud.
This is all I could find of the Guy. He seems to have been there throughout right enough but I still find it hard to accept there isn't something dodgy about it.
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3651/3393698470_1de08e73d1.jpg)
(http://www.freewebs.com/rsfdublin/croke%20park01.JPG)
(http://www.freewebs.com/rsfdublin/morecroke01.jpg)
(http://www.freewebs.com/rsfdublin/morecroke02.jpg)
He's seen marching in this clip too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXXMc7rreVg
He was commentating on the Rugby from Croker.
Let that be the end of it
Quote from: hardstation on March 09, 2010, 09:43:22 PM
I see they believe the Shankill bomber to be a west brit sellout.
I'm gonna regret this..... but huh?
:D
:D :D :D :D
i get that.....
duh ziggy..
bttt
Myself and a mate (both leftys) managed to convince an English girl in Oz that all Irish people were left-handed. Kept it up for about 20mins and she believed us even though we were pissing ourselves laughing.
She even asked 'How come I know a girl in England that's left-handed then?' and I replied 'She must have an Irish grandparent or something.' She goes 'That makes so much sense now!'
I told her some bull about chromosomes and she looked amazed!!
Years ago I was working late with a lad and it started to rain. The lad I worked with said, would you look at the way the rain is falling on the windows it's leaving big long lines. I said to him, that's long rain. He said what's long rain? I said it's to do with the height of the clouds. You can get long rain or short rain. The higher the clouds the faster the rain drops hit the window, hence the long lines! Jesus he says, I never heard that before. Told him the truth about 5 years later. He tells me he has told that to loads of other people.
In uni we were living in a house in the hoylands. A friend who didn't live with us but spent most of his time in the house was cooking himself a bit to eat. Think it was chicken Kiev or something.
Anyway he proceeds to check the chicken, realises it's done so looks around him to get something to take the hot tray out of the oven. Our house being a typical student house didn't happen to have a drying cloth handy. So he then lifts a plastic Asda bag that was on the worktop and attempts to try that.
Next thing we know is that said person had burnt the hand of himself, spilt his dinner all over the floor and burnt half a plastic bag to the inside of the oven. One of the funniest things I ever saw, even got a mention at his wedding.
Took the woman and child to disneyland last year-While she was away getting ice cream, myself and the child spotted Donald Duck walking about, to the child's amazment!
When her mummy came back, the child shouted,
"Mummy, mummy we seen Donald Duck!"
to which she replied, totally serious-
"Really? was he dressed up an all?" ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
"No we seen the guy that usually wears the custume, but recognised him as Donald Duck immediately- Must have been the webbed feet!"
Your child's grammar is reprehensible.
Very good hardstation :D