International Rules dates announced

[zoyler]

24th October in Perth - Subiaco presumably.  2nd test @ MCG in Melborne the following week.

I, for one, hope its a success.

[rrhf]

They say time is a great healer. 














I think it just lets people forget. 

[magickingdom]

good stuff, something to look forward to in those dark winter days!!!

[Gold]

will Marty Clarke play for Ireland?

[stephenite]

Bastards couldn't organise a game in Sydney

[Kerry Mike]

Time to get 30 of the biggest roughtest hoors of footballers into serious weight training for the next 4 months and go out there to Oz and hammer 5 shades of shite out of the convicts.

Lets face it we wont beat them with our football alone, and they are sure to rough it up again, they cant help it as they know no better 

[Doire abú]

Was watchin an AFL match today there. That Akermanis boy is still as dirty as ever.

Met his match in Canavan that day though. No dirtier man.

[stephenite]

Bellew is the kind of player we need alright - always thought David Brady would've been a good man for this code as well.

[Kerry Mike]

Bellew could not handle Donaghy, He'd have no chance on Hall 

[Fishbat]

Time to get 30 of the biggest roughtest hoors of footballers into serious weight training for the next 4 months and go out there to Oz and hammer 5 shades of shite out of the convicts.

Lets face it we wont beat them with our football alone, and they are sure to rough it up again, they cant help it as they know no better 

Couldn't agree more, been saying the same myself for years now - no point sending skilful men to that carry-on as theres not a pile of skill in it as far as i can see.

Men to be dispatched to the 4 corners of Ireland forthwith to trawl the leagues for the biggest dirtiest ugliest bastids that ever crawled out of the bog - they are out there alright - and rub it intil those hoors big style

And if that fails - a trawl of the worst bars in Ireland on a saturday night - anyone with a shirt on his back at the end of the night can be ignored


























will need to send several dozen talent spotters to Derry city

[RedandGreenSniper]

Happy days! I should be in Perth for the first test so I'll chalk that one down.
It will be interesting to see if they go for a horses for courses selection. Its all good and well saying to send out Francie Bellew to mark Barry Hall. But that's making the assumption that the Aussies are only physically stronger than us. They are, in many cases, quicker and more skillful and if they send anything close to a full strength team (they didn't the last time by the way) then we could be in for a pistol whipping

[Fishbat]

Happy days! I should be in Perth for the first test so I'll chalk that one down.
It will be interesting to see if they go for a horses for courses selection. Its all good and well saying to send out Francie Bellew to mark Barry Hall. But that's making the assumption that the Aussies are only physically stronger than us. They are, in many cases, quicker and more skillful and if they send anything close to a full strength team (they didn't the last time by the way) then we could be in for a pistol whipping

You're just the man we need there Sniper.........preferably high up with a clear view of the pitch.

What about a complete change in tactics and play soccer? sliding tackles flat out - The jailbirds won't have a clue,....... complete onion-bag fest

[RedandGreenSniper]

Happy days! I should be in Perth for the first test so I'll chalk that one down.
It will be interesting to see if they go for a horses for courses selection. Its all good and well saying to send out Francie Bellew to mark Barry Hall. But that's making the assumption that the Aussies are only physically stronger than us. They are, in many cases, quicker and more skillful and if they send anything close to a full strength team (they didn't the last time by the way) then we could be in for a pistol whipping

You're just the man we need there Sniper.........preferably high up with a clear view of the pitch.

What about a complete change in tactics and play soccer? sliding tackles flat out - The jailbirds won't have a clue,....... complete onion-bag fest

I dunno, I could be counter productive. I wouldn't know whether to shoot at the Aussies or at the Kerry boys

[Hardy]

Men to be dispatched to the 4 corners of Ireland forthwith to trawl the leagues for the biggest dirtiest ugliest bastids that ever crawled out of the bog - they are out there alright - and rub it intil those hoors big style

And if that fails - a trawl of the worst bars in Ireland on a saturday night - anyone with a shirt on his back at the end of the night can be ignored

I've been saying the same for years. I even proposed this team for the last trip, but they ignored me.

Goalkeeper – Mickey Wire. Latest in a long line of keepers stretching back to 1691, when his great-grand-ancestor parried cannonballs barehanded at the Battle of Aughrim, until he missed one, but his head didn't. He may have been a great grand-uncle, but he was only a middling goalie. At 6ft. 8in. and 19 stone, Mickey is seen as a promising youngster, once he grows up and fills out a bit.

Right Full Back – Jenny (now Jimmy) Harchibald. The worst-kept selection secret this year. After a rapid post-op recovery, last year's Queen of the Haggard returns fully equipped to his/her first-choice sport. "Jimmy" may spring a few surprises, particularly in the tackle department.

Full Back – Windmill Rafferty. Everything in range of Rafferty's reach - animal, vegetable or mineral - gets hit. Them's his rules and fair warning is fair warning. Also known as "Long Kesh", after the now-closed jail. (That's right - takes no prisoners).

Left Full Back – Festy Farrell. The tough, tenacious corner back is officially cleared to play, following the "is it contagious or not?" scare. His bites will still be just as painful, if not quite as lethal, because of the injections.

Right Half Back – Benny "Elephant" O'Shea. Just wait till you see.

Centre Half Back – The Man from the Bog. It's a huge gamble to hand an international debut to the mystery man from Timahoe. Wild rumours are circulating as to his (or its) real identity, but it will be a brave Aussie who tries to scrape off the slime to have a look.

Left Half Back – Paddy "Jaws" Bloodknot. The most feared defender in Ireland may find the going a little tougher on foreign fields where his fearsome reputation won't yet have reached, to ensure the usual eighty square yards of free space all around him. For the first quarter, anyway.

Midfield – The Hanger Crowley. "The Walking Gallows" is having a sensational first season after his release. But it remains to be seen how he will adapt to the hybrid game, given the ambiguity of the rules on the subject of mobile gibbeting.

Midfield – Whiff Collier. Some argue that, with The Hanger on your side, a second midfielder is superfluous. However, Whiff always gets his place, mainly because nobody wants him on the bench. Secret weapons are all very well, but it would be unsporting in the extreme not to warn the Aussies to stay upwind of Whiff.

Right Half Forward – Roger "Fairy" Dunne. Don't be fooled by the nickname.

Centre Half Forward – Railway Byrne. Runs in straight lines, making a clattering noise and smoking like a steam engine. Full backs, goalkeepers, umpires and, indeed, spectators are warned to beware of his lengthy braking distance.

Left Half Forward – Langer Dan. The Cork scoring machine suffers from a dropsical complaint that brings out festering pustules on the exposed parts of his skin, making his opponents extremely reluctant to look at, never mind tackle him. Most of his extremities have been devoured by vermin. Combined with an intestinal unpredictability and a predisposition to projectile vomiting, these apparent misfortunes have, in fact, led to a golden career as an untouchable score-getter for the Langer.

Right Full Forward – Whack Murphy. Whack is one of the most violent members of a vicious and merciless crew of so-called footballers from the swamps of inner Tyrone. He is routinely described as armed and dangerous (he was once suspended for twelve months for taking the field with a small hatchet hidden in his sock) and opposing players are warned not to approach him but to report his movements to the authorities.

Full Forward – Henry "Donkey" Hegarty. Donkey's nickname has nothing to do with strength or work-rate, but everything to do with a conviction for unnatural relations with a beast. When Henry asked for his supper on his first night in prison, the warder pointed to a bale of hay in the corner – "if it's good enough for your girlfriend, it's good enough for you." The headline in "The Fermanagh Bugle" on the announcement of his selection in the touring party: "Is there a zoo in Melbourne?"

Left Full Forward – The Plough McFadden. Enough said, except to say that what he lacks in finesse, he makes up for in ignorance.

Seven interchange players have been named and the less said about their despicable reputations the better, other than to give their names: Bare-Knuckle Shambles, Tom "Bilgepump" Moriarty, Mary 'Skunk' Moore, Joe Dandy-Wheels, Wat "Win-The-War" Reilly, Gorilla Hardiman and The Parrot Gibney.

Roadkill football in prospect.

[ykickamoocow]

I know very little about Gaelic Football but would players like Tadgh Kennelly, Colm Begley and Martin Clark make the Irish national team against Australia?