Best thing heard at a GAA match.

[Kerry Mike]

So there was pain KM? One of the best ones I heard around 1990 was "What did Nelson Mandela say when he was released from Robben Isand" - " The big issue now is when will Kerry get out of Munster"  

As for AIs sure for a hurling county Cork don't do too badly - for the average GAA man (or woman) in Cork the AI is on the first Sunday in September.

Not really much pain in 1987, when it took a Cork team who were nearing their peak, two games to finally beat a team of old and crippled Kerrymen.

The great Double celebrations came to a grinding halt in 1991 on a great day in a Munster semi final in Killarney, John Cronin buried the ball in the Langers net, with what subsequently was found out was to be possibly the worst ever Kerry team. That Double winning team will always be flawed as they never beat a good Kerry team in that period Yerra lock the gates and make them suffer indeed.

As for All Ireland wins, 2008 could really be a horrible year for the Langers if KK and KY pull off their 3-in-a-rows.
Kilkenny winning the Hurling and going ahead of Cork in the Hurling roll of honour would be painful enough but Kerry also winning the football and going ahead of Cork in the overall winners roll of honour would surely have any self respecting Corkionian heading for cover. For a football county we will be forever be gratefull for 1891...

Thats what I miss on this board a bit of banter with the langers.

[Fear ón Srath Bán]

Thats what I miss on this board a bit of banter with the langers.

Aaahhhh... how the axes of power shift, we'll do our best to make up for it K Mike... and yes, we have some making up to do... though watch this space 

[Kerry Mike]

We look forward to it Mr SB

[tyroneman]

This is a public safety announcement.....be wile careful when yiz are leavin

Close enough.................said at a league match couple of years back but at start of game "This is a safety annoucement.be wile careful"

Healy park also produced the following classic..(paraphrasing)

would the owner of a (names make of car)........(names colour).......number (gives exact number plate) ...............parked at (gives precise details of location)..please go to your car as the window is down...............................

[RedandGreenSniper]

Not quite at a football match but close to Croke Park ahead of (I think) the Mayo Laois game in 2006.
After a session the night before myself and a few of the lads actually weren't feeling too bad so we said we'd get into Drumcondra early, get the breakfast and head in for the start of the first of the treble header that day.
Anyway as we make our way in (from Santry) we spotted very few Mayos at all. Parked the car in one of the streets behind McGrath's pub and still no sign of the Mayo's. All we hear is Dublin accents and a few from some of the counties playing before us. As we are about to turn onto Drumcondra road walking alongside the canal one of our group says 'Jesus lads, are we the only ones that bothered coming up'? With comedy timing we turn onto Drumcondra Road and nearly bump into a real agricultural Mayo lad with the 1996 jersey on him screaming into the phone to a mate 'where d fcuk did you go ta, ya fcukin cnut ya' in the coarsest Mayo accent imagineable.
We nearly fell over laughing!

[behind the wire]

our U10 manager used to come out with things that would make you laugh all the time but on i can remember well was him saying to one of the lads who couldnt carry the ball very well "son, you're like a snail going to jerusalem"

[5 Sams]

Not heard at a match and it has been on here several times before but its worth another mention....


It involves the Ballygar-St. Brendan's hurling club in Galway where a major dispute reared it's head at the AGM. The chairman is reportedly a straight-talking bachelor of questionable diplomacy. Amidst the row, a newly appointed priest took the floor commenting on how the GAA should be a focal point for the 2 parishes, not a source of argument. He continued on about how everyone should pull together for the good of the club and see the club as a unifying force.

The chairman stood up and said: "Thanks a lot for that now Father, but that's the kind of shite that sickens my hole."

[BennyHarp]

Not heard at a match and it has been on here several times before but its worth another mention....


It involves the Ballygar-St. Brendan's hurling club in Galway where a major dispute reared it's head at the AGM. The chairman is reportedly a straight-talking bachelor of questionable diplomacy. Amidst the row, a newly appointed priest took the floor commenting on how the GAA should be a focal point for the 2 parishes, not a source of argument. He continued on about how everyone should pull together for the good of the club and see the club as a unifying force.

The chairman stood up and said: "Thanks a lot for that now Father, but that's the kind of shite that sickens my hole."

Thats the first thing i've read in a long time thats actually made me laugh out loud!! 

[Tatler Jack]

Double winning team will always be flawed as they never beat a good Kerry team in that period

Using that criteria KM the last 3 AIs ye won are also flawed as ye did not beat a good team!! Fair play to you 100% for effort.

[Kerry Mike]

We bate yis twice last year isn't that enough for ye..

Anyway back to the thread.

Was at the Munster v Ladyboys game a few weeks ago in the RDS and while Leinster were well ahead there were a few D4 knobs in the stand giving it loads about Munster being shite.

Anyway this was going on for ages and finally my buddy turns around to them and says "shut up ye f**kers, when ye are shovelling the horse shit out of this place in May we will be over in Cardiff winning the European Cup again"  That shut them up...

[Tatler Jack]

"

shut up ye f**kers, when ye are shovelling the horse shit out of this place in May we will be over in Cardiff winning the European Cup again"  That shut them up...

Id say KM the sublety of that retort would be lost on them!!

[Fear ón Srath Bán]

"Our lads are in the WHITE shirts"... after yet another wayward pass in a league game earlier in this season 

At a first round Ulster Championship game in Healy Park a few years ago (circa 2003), as the refreshments man trudged his way through the terraces at half-time bawling "Mars bars and Marathons, Mars bars and Marathons...", beads of sweat dutifully gathering and promptly marching down his furrowed brow and where it was plainly obvious that he had nothing else but Mars bars and Marathons, my pal shouts: "ANY HATS, FLAGS, OR HEADBANDS?"...Impressed he was not.

A little later, as Fermanagh introduced Stephen Maguire as a substitute, he roars "Is he one of the Fermanagh Maguires?"

[Fear ón Srath Bán]

Though the funniest thing I ever heard at a GAA match was a fairly vociferous Kerryman just behind my left ear at the final on Hill 16 in 2005: "Where's Peter Canavan?", says he, with not a little volume, and just about 30 seconds before Canavan buried the ball in the back of the Kerry net. What timing! 

[Carmen Stateside]

I remember being in Healy Park one evening for a championship game involving Errigal Ciaran, things were not going Errigals way and they were under pressure.  Not far from were i was standing was a wee man from the Loughshore who did a bit of gambling! It was obvious from his actions that he had a "few" bob on the fancied Errigal, suddenly Eamon Mc Cafferry won a ball out along the line in front of us, in his attempt to feed the ball into Peter the Great he put the ball out over the endline..... at that the wee Loughshore man lost it and roars in at Mc Cafferry.. "if you were in primary school you would be expelled for that, you cnut ya!!! 

[Nally Stand]

Tyrone V Derry in the Ulster Championship, Clones, shortly after the General Election which Sinn Féin won all three MP seats in Tyrone constituencies and SDLP made gains in Derry consituencies:

Derry fans began singing their usual chant: "There's no Sam Maguire in Tyrone, no there's no Sam Maguire in Tyrone.."

To which the Tyrone fans spontaneously responded "And there's no SDLP in Tyrone! No there's no SDLP in Tyrone...!" Followed by laughter and cheering from the rest of the Tyrone support around the area!