Troublesome Housemate

[Puckoon]

What to feck is he?

EH?

[Zapatista]

Theres a good Documentry and in the first half it shows you just how you should deal with roommates that f**k it up for everyone else. I think it's called "Full Metal Jacket"

[pintsofguinness]

He once put a 8 pack of denny sausages in the deep fat frier, and then realised he hadnt cut them into singles, So, half smoked regal in hand, he attacked them with a pair of scissors.

mmmmmm

[pintsofguinness]

But, would any of us admit to being this housemate???

Yous may find this hard to believe, but I would be quite difficult to live with. 

  This did actually make me laugh out loud, good one Pints

I'm serious, I get told it all the time 

[Rois]

Jeez I thought I had it bad - one of my tenants is a compulsive liar, the other one has a really loud voice and washes her dishes but doesn't put them away (ignores the dishwasher). 

I take back everything bad I ever said about them.

[youngfella]

My house mate is a expert on everything... Really annoying chap he is. the girlfriend wont even come round any more because of him have to cycle round to hers with a semi.

[THE MIGHTY QUINN]

My house mate is a expert on everything... Really annoying chap he is. the girlfriend wont even come round any more because of him have to cycle round to hers with a semi.

LOL

[Zapatista]

My house mate is a expert on everything... Really annoying chap he is. the girlfriend wont even come round any more because of him have to cycle round to hers with a semi.

Dat you Orlando?

[youngfella]

Aye ill run the big bastard down

[Puckoon]

My house mate is a expert on everything... Really annoying chap he is. the girlfriend wont even come round any more because of him have to cycle round to hers with a semi.

Could be worse if you get over there to find shes not around. Youll never make it home!

[Fishbat]

I find that getting a pound of mince and spreading it nice and thin under his carpet would shift him.

No no no thats unscientific hallionry - that will linger in the house for evermore - simply make a slit in the corner of his mattress and shove her in, pat it down and sew it up - old bastard balls leaves and ye fire the mattress out into the yard for a while then ask the landlord to cough up for a new one as the old one has mildew - voile

[Fishbat]

come to think of it juice this might cheer you up - things might not seem so bad.

10 lads - 8 bedrooms

moving into a house that had just been burgled, with burglars shit smeared on the walls.

watching tv in a room knee deep in porn, chip papers, bottles, vomit patches and dead mice

having to sit on floor in said room as some balax had opened a hundred weight of spuds on the "couch" and no one could be arsed lifting them

catching 16 mice under the cooker and laying them out morgue style to tempt the landlord into lowering the rent - no chance

having your room door kicked off the hinges and having to sleep with a bucket of water at the ready for the hoors landing home late for 3 months

fellas blocking the toilet and then having to shovel the overflow out of the back yard - until dino-rod show up to save the day

hoors stashing mince left right and centre

bastids shadow boxing drunk at windows and not fixing them in the dead of winter after fist has gone through

furniture being stole/burnt for heat.

fires lit on living room carpet

finding a street alco in your bed - lured there by a bottle of cider

unable to use bath on top floor as one balax used it as a personal toilet. despite toilet bowl also present - working bath downstairs off limits as full of spag bol vomit

mice in the mattresses

coming home from hospital and hoors clodding spuds at your broken knee.

hallions throwing headboards down stairs puttin innocent girls in hospital

i could go on  - but ye get my drift - so hang onto that fella, ye might get worse!

[M.Schofield]

"You didnt live there too did you?"

Nah i didnt Puckoon but I know him quite well, Settled down quite a bit now, he is gettin on a bit. He was telling me about that house yez used to live in with another couple of fellas. Having to put clothes on goin to bed cause there were no doors or a letterbox in the house. Apparently all letter boxes are the same size!!!!!!

[Hurler on the Bitch]

come to think of it juice this might cheer you up - things might not seem so bad.

10 lads - 8 bedrooms

moving into a house that had just been burgled, with burglars shit smeared on the walls.

watching tv in a room knee deep in porn, chip papers, bottles, vomit patches and dead mice

having to sit on floor in said room as some balax had opened a hundred weight of spuds on the "couch" and no one could be arsed lifting them

catching 16 mice under the cooker and laying them out morgue style to tempt the landlord into lowering the rent - no chance

having your room door kicked off the hinges and having to sleep with a bucket of water at the ready for the hoors landing home late for 3 months

fellas blocking the toilet and then having to shovel the overflow out of the back yard - until dino-rod show up to save the day

hoors stashing mince left right and centre

bastids shadow boxing drunk at windows and not fixing them in the dead of winter after fist has gone through

furniture being stole/burnt for heat.

fires lit on living room carpet

finding a street alco in your bed - lured there by a bottle of cider

unable to use bath on top floor as one balax used it as a personal toilet. despite toilet bowl also present - working bath downstairs off limits as full of spag bol vomit

mice in the mattresses

coming home from hospital and hoors clodding spuds at your broken knee.

hallions throwing headboards down stairs puttin innocent girls in hospital

i could go on  - but ye get my drift - so hang onto that fella, ye might get worse!

I think that everyone in the Samaritians should have a copy of this beside them when they answer the phone.. I mean, no matter how bad your problem, it can't get any worse than this....

[thejuice]

Had a feckin earthquake as well last night, and you know what, the first thing that went through my head was, "whats he done now" thinkin he'd blown up the gas cooker or something, thankfully it was just an earthquake.