GAA Speech

[Mickey Linden]

I have a speech to say for my GAA dinner dance tomorrow night. Still havn't finished it - need it to be a bit more funny - anyone any jokes or funny phrases to put into a speech?? Bearing in mind that the priest will be there!

Help ASAP!!

[ziggysego]

http://gaaboard.com/board/index.php?topic=4696.0

We got Tony Scullion back for our Dinner Dance this year. The best you can get IMHO.

[ziggysego]

Oh, long day. Erm... give Tony a bell.

[stiffler]

I have a speech to say for my GAA dinner dance tomorrow night. Still havn't finished it - need it to be a bit more funny - anyone any jokes or funny phrases to put into a speech?? Bearing in mind that the priest will be there!

Help ASAP!!

You'l need more than help from here to make you sound anyway funny....

[The Real Laoislad]

You could always tell them you think Dublin will win Sam next year...Thats bound to get a few laughs 

[Carmen Stateside]

You could always tell them you think Dublin will win Sam next year...Thats bound to get a few laughs 

You just cant help yourself LL

[southdown]

Has anyone had Nicky brennan at their dinner?  He's at ours tomorrow night, looking foreward to hearing him talk. Benny Tierny is supposedly great.

[Son_of_Sam]

"people of Galway I love you" classic

[ONeill]

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

[Niall Quinn]

I liked this one (stolen from Kilclief's website):

An Irishman was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar
in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied
an old Indian sitting in the corner with his tribal gear on, long
white plaits, and an incredibly wrinkled face.

"Who's he?" said the Paddy.

"That's the Memory Man." said the bartender. "He knows everything. He
can remember any fact. Go on, try him out."

So the Irishman goes over, and thinking that he won't know anything
about hurling, asks "Who won the 1996 Munster Semi Final played in the
Gaelic Grounds?"

"Limerick," replies the Memory Man.
"Who did they beat?"
"Clare," was the reply.
"And the score?"
"15 points to 1-13."
"Who scored the winning point?"
"Ciarán Carey," was the old man's reply.

The Irishman was knocked out by this and, when he returned home, Told
all his friends and relatives about the amazing Memory Man.

Five years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the
Impressive Memory Man again. Eventually he found the bar and there,
sitting in the same seat, was the Indian, looking older and even more
wrinkled.

The Irishman was delighted to see him, and, deciding to greet the
Indian in his native tongue, approached him with the greeting "How".

"Solo-run out of the half back line." replied the Memory Man