Hitting/Slapping Children

[AZOffaly]

They say hard cases make bad laws and I believe that the removal of corporal punishment from schools, largely due to the brutality meted out by a few amadáns, has led to a much bigger disciplinary problem in schools nowadays. There is a difference between physically disciplining someone and 'beating them up'. I believe the former has a place in schools, while the latter doesn't.

As for the whole argument about disciplining your child, it's a tough one. I wouldn't castigate a parent that hits a child a smack, especially for something that needs to be emphasised quickly like running away from you, running across the road, going at a fire etc etc. However, I hate to see kids getting a clip, and would only use it myself, I hope, in those extreme circumstances. My little fella is 13 months now, and I'm sure that over the next few years the situation will arise, and all I can do is try and use my best judgement, erring on the side of not smacking. I'm not looking forward to it, but I want to do my best to raise the lad right.

[Snowed Under]

Aren't you advocating punishment like taking away treats?

Yes but I would give my oldest a treat a day - should that be sweets; allowed to watch a DVD; allowed to stay up late; allowed his favourite tea, all very important things to a young child - if he is bold it is taken away that day - he knows the next day it will happen again if there is a repetition; I never once said about dragging it over days.

But that's the same thing and my earlier points still stands, you are prolonging the misery. 

I'm not physically abusing my child though; as I said a lazy mans and a bullys apprroach - hit them a slap - needs no explaining, no thinking no hard work, slap and walk away.

Well if you're happy saying "i'm not physically abusing my child" fair enough but you are prolonging his misery and taking away things from him that you should be enjoying with him. 

1. did any of ye get slapped as a child by your parents/guardians, and did it do you any harm?
2. do you have any resentment towards the person?

1. Yeah and deserved every one, not a bit of harm done.
2. No

Pathetic pathetic pathetic; on the occassions I have to punish I teach him that what he did was wrong by not slapping him - if your happy to slap your nephews you work away; but to me you are a bully.

[AZOffaly]

Snowed Under, I would have answered the same, yes I got slapped by my parents, and No, I don't resent them for it. I understand they were trying to teach me right from wrong.


1 thing I really disagree with is 'wait 'till your father gets home'. That is just wrong. First of all the father becomes the punisher, and secondly, the child is left sick with worry all day. If a smack is to be given out, give it immediately, and at the time of the offence.

[SammyG]

There is only one case when it os OK to hit a kid and that is if they are in serious danger and can't be stopped any other way (e.g. if they're about to walk into a road or go to close to a fire). Hitting in any other circumstances is just bullying, nothing more and nothing less.

[Puckoon]

Pints you've opened another can of worms I think your phrasing of the example and your language does you no favours; here's my two cents worth:

1. I was slapped as a child on the hands by both teachers and my parents. My mum says it killed my old man to slap me, but it sure didnt feel like it to me. 6 of the best with the wooden spoon. Did me no harm, infact, probably kept me out of alot of trouble.

2. While a child should never be scared of anyone, a little spank now and then does no harm - we are all sensible enough to know that there is a huge line between physically disciplining a kid, and child abuse. Unfortunately some parents have abused children in the past. Banning physical punishment for children will not eradicate this behaviour.

3. My nephews are the most ill mannered little bastards ever put on this earth. They've had a number of dad/father figures, none of whom have ever given a decent example to the kids. They have never been disciplined (except in the american, time out, loss of priviledges kind of way). They have zero respect for their teachers, fellow classmates, the rest of the family - because its never been instilled in them. These kids are going down a bad path real quick - and its largely due to the fact that they have never been disciplined. Fact is conventional discipline does not work for alot of kids. A couple of smacks for repeated bad behaviour would maybe have led them down a different path.

4. Im glad I got the discipline I did when I was younger, It instilled good manners in me, and I understood that bad behaviour didnt go un punished - something kids today will grow up not realising until its a broken law, and a punihsment much worse than 6 of the best.

5. On a more anecdotal note, my primary school teacher hit me with the following:

Black slipper
Duster
Ruler
Knuckles
an apple in her hand until it got bruised

I even got slapped by a teacher at the brothers!

Snowed Under, I would have answered the same, yes I got slapped by my parents, and No, I don't resent them for it. I understand they were trying to teach me right from wrong.


1 thing I really disagree with is 'wait 'till your father gets home'. That is just wrong. First of all the father becomes the punisher, and secondly, the child is left sick with worry all day. If a smack is to be given out, give it immediately, and at the time of the offence.

AZOffally, that was just the worst! Christ the anticpation and then your stomach sank as you heard the car pull into the driveway. When I got smacked at school I got smacked again at home for getting smacked at school!

[AZOffaly]

I don't know if I would like to be judge and jury on parents who smack their kids if they are bold Sammy, I am loathe to call it bullying certainly. I do however agree with you to the extent that I hope the only time I feel I have to slap my child would be to scare them from doing something that might get them hurt.

I do think terms like bullying, abuse etc etc are highly emotive though, and are not really applicable in the case of someone using a smack on the bottom or hand of a child. Obviously there are *other* cases where those terms are very apt.

[deiseach]

Im glad I got the discipline I did when I was younger, It instilled good manners in me

What happened since that you lost it?

Ah, this is shooting fish in a barrel.

[Gnevin]

3. My nephews are the most ill mannered little bastards ever put on this earth. They've had a number of dad/father figures, none of whom have ever given a decent example to the kids. They have never been disciplined (except in the american, time out, loss of priviledges kind of way). They have zero respect for their teachers, fellow classmates, the rest of the family - because its never been instilled in them. These kids are going down a bad path real quick - and its largely due to the fact that they have never been disciplined. Fact is conventional discipline does not work for alot of kids. A couple of smacks for repeated bad behaviour would maybe have led them down a different path.

No amount of smacking is going to change that they are following poor examples

[heganboy]

SammyG = Idealist

There is only one case when it os OK to hit a kid and that is if they are in serious danger and can't be stopped any other way (e.g. if they're about to walk into a road or go to close to a fire). Hitting in any other circumstances is just bullying, nothing more and nothing less.

[ludermor]

Also how old do you smack till 6 ,8,10 ,15? And what do you do then?

You try hiting a 15 year old, he'll punch back

Not if you wait for 6 years and there are 10 of you and you have iron bars.
Im finding it hard to see the difference in slapping a child for being bold and beating a young fella for being (very) bold. Now im not talking about the killing but the view shared by many here that a bit of a beating is a good thing for a young lad. What age does it stop being a slapping and becomes a beating?

[AZOffaly]

I would say if you are still 'smacking' a child after they are 7 or 8 or so, it's a lost battle anyway. And in fairness ludermor, surely you are not equating punishment beatings with someone hitting a child a smack on the bottom?

[pintsofguinness]

Pathetic pathetic pathetic; on the occassions I have to punish I teach him that what he did was wrong by not slapping him - if your happy to slap your nephews you work away; but to me you are a bully.

My nephew knows exactly why he got smacked and what exactly he was doing wrong and that if he had to stop when he was told he woudlnt' have got smacked.


sammy the difiniton from dictionary.com of bully is

A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.

I think that speaks for itself.  I'd describe neither of my parents as bullies. 

Puckoon

Pints you've opened another can of worms I think your phrasing of the example and your language does you no favours; here's my two cents worth:

what do you mean?

[AZOffaly]

He means you are like the Victor Meldrew of this board. You are the internet equivalent of running a 6 inch nail down a blackboard

[ludermor]

no im not but someone mentioned a 15yr old. A smack on the bottom wouldnt have the same effect, ( might guide him towards a carreer in hair dressing though)

[pintsofguinness]

He means you are like the Victor Meldrew of this board. You are the internet equivalent of running a 6 inch nail down a blackboard

At 15 the work should be done luder, at 15 if you've any respect for your parents, your parents being annoyed with you is punishment enough.