brilliant lies!

[Orior]

I worked with a guy that was a serial liar, he was pretty thick but must have thought everyone else was thicker. Amongst his classics
a) the tunnell being built between Ireland and America that you can drive through, and because its a vacuum you can do 10,000 mph even in a 1.1 ford fiesta.
b) his mate lost an eye in an accident at work, he had his eye removed and while it was in the surgeons tray the eye could still see all round the room.
c) His son has a ducati motorbike that when it goes through speed cameras the rear number plate revolves to reveal a middle finger.

you could write a book on the shite that man came out with.

Classic MD!

[AZOffaly]

We had a lad who was a small bit gullible at school, very intelligent, but as innocent as they come. Anyhow, they were building a new enterprise centre in Ferbane at the time, and as we were walking down to the pitch for training one Wednesday evening, he asked about 3 of us 'What are they building up there near Concannon's?'.

Straight away I said, 'Did you not hear about it, it's class'. 'There's a shortage of plain biscuits at the moment because McVities have made too many Chocolate Digestives, and they are going stale in the shops'. 'That factory is being built to employ people to lick the chocolate off the biscuits, so that they can be re-done into Plain Biscuits'.

The other lads played along, and yer man thought this was the business altogether.

2 days later he came along and asked me if I knew where he could send his CV because that 'would be a brilliant summer job'.

[el_cuervo_fc]

I used to work in sainsbury's part time when i was a student.  One xmas there was a big snow and I lived about 5 mile outside armagh at the time.  I had been drinkin the night before so i rang my line manager that i'd be a bit late because I was snowed in.  I got a lift to work and was about 4 hours late.  I told my line manager that I had walked to work in the snow.  Later on that day he produced a 24 pack of fosters as a reward for my exceptional effort.   

[nrico2006]

Theres this one fella from the north west I know, who seems to fit in with a few other people from Derry/Strabane that I know, in that they are complete liers.  It was when we were about 15, and not 10 or 8.  A few boys had got scramblers for xmas, and he was adamant that he got a quad - but nobody had seen the hooring thing weeks after Christmas.  We asked him where it was, and he would, as cool as you like, say that nobody could get the quad down from the wee hole in that leads to the attic!?!

The same boy, who believe it or not is not nuts, used to tell us that he had pet dinosaurs in his back yard.

As for the boy saying he scored 5 points and wasn't even there, I know a similar boy who will constantly make up scores for matches he wasn't even involved in.  On one occasion he was caught well though.  I had to do a report for the county final 2 years ago and I though he had scored a point, and so I asked him what he scored - he said 0-3.  It added up anyway, but I wasn't sure.  He was so convincing, so I put him down for that.  3 Months later the DVD came out, needless to say he was well caught!

[ziggysego]

dundalk 07 isn't a plant.

[Croí na hÉireann]

I was 15 and decided i knew how to drive,So i took my fathers car down town and as i was backing out of a car space i hit the wall and put a dent the whole way along the back passenger door.
I drove on as if nothing happened and parked the car back in the garage.The auld lad comes home from work the next day fuming because some c*** crashed into his car in the car park at work at left without telling...Little did he know it was his loving son who had crashed the previous day.I was lucky as the damage was on the passenger side and he wouldn't have seen it when he went to his car in the morning!!

I actually told him about it lately..Im 29 now!! But he only laughed at it and said he never suspected it was me

Maybe GNevin was right about u driving a green van... 

[bingobus]

We recently told a die-hard GPA member/supporter than the Monaghan Hurlers where back at training and had 65 players the first night, all looking about this grant payment.

He swallowed the whole lot and said he'd contact Dessie about it.

[maddog]

I worked with a guy that was a serial liar, he was pretty thick but must have thought everyone else was thicker. Amongst his classics
a) the tunnell being built between Ireland and America that you can drive through, and because its a vacuum you can do 10,000 mph even in a 1.1 ford fiesta.
b) his mate lost an eye in an accident at work, he had his eye removed and while it was in the surgeons tray the eye could still see all round the room.
c) His son has a ducati motorbike that when it goes through speed cameras the rear number plate revolves to reveal a middle finger.

you could write a book on the shite that man came out with.

Classic MD!

The same bucko when collared by his manager about his abysmal performance, blurted out that his mind wasnt on the job because he was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Nothing of it. Couple months later he said the doctors had made a mistake.
Bad Karma that.

[Hollow Man]

I used to work with a lad who was unreal at bullshitting, his thing was that no matter what you told him - NO MATTER HOW OUTRAGEOUS - he could beat it

He was well in his 30s now, myself and the brother would have been 15/16...

Anyway, we copped what a tool this boy was so we would have it planned that one of us would walk into the canteen and say something like "Jaysus there was a lad playing four our juniors and he scored 4-15 from play last night" and the other fella would then back him up

You could be guaranteed than that yer man would go "I scored 5-19 once" or something - the hilarious thing was that he ws always the hero of the story!

Anyway, the best one was one day when I walked in and said out loud "I was watching a wildlife programme last night and they taught a hippo to walk on two legs!"

Yer man goes, "sure that's nothing. I was driving a rigid to Belfast and there were trees haning on both sides of the road. There was a lorry in front of me and a squirrel jumped from one tree on to the lorry, on to the roof of a van coming the other way and then on to another tree on the other side of the road!"

Unreal!

[Mickey Linden]

A fella from Aghagallon used to be all into his BMX bikes. He was also a renowned liar. He told us that he was jumping the canal on his bmx one time when his ma called him for his dinner. he turned halfway and came back again.
Another oul boy said that the hills were that steep in scotland when he walked up them change fell out of his pockets

[take_yer_points]

I was out in Jordanstown last week and seen a girl I haven't seen in about 5 years - would've ran about with her and a few of her mates back then but we just seemed to lose touch. She looked very shocked to see me - I thought I must've had 2 heads or something!!

It turns out a friend of mine told her about 3 years ago in the Bot that I'd died in a car accident and the accident was so bad I had to have a closed coffin!! She'd told all her mates about it and everything!!

The shock was probably a bit understandable!!

[ziggysego]

That sounds very familar. Who's the girl?

[bingobus]

A fella from Aghagallon used to be all into his BMX bikes. He was also a renowned liar. He told us that he was jumping the canal on his bmx one time when his ma called him for his dinner. he turned halfway and came back again.
Another oul boy said that the hills were that steep in scotland when he walked up them change fell out of his pockets

Tea on screen moment there. Quality lie   

[take_yer_points]

That sounds very familar. Who's the girl?

A girl from Enniskillen - living and working in Belfast now though

[ziggysego]

Probably don't know her then.