Priest stuns congregation by resigning over affair.

[Donagh]

Annulment can't be obtained if someone is cheating or abusive can it?

In themselves they wouldn't be grounds for an annulment because it would be expected you could forgive and mend the relationship. However if one party never intended on being faithful from the start or if the abuse was prolonged and causing harm or danger to the life of the other party, then there are grounds for annulment.

[red hander]

Alternatively, if you've plenty of money you shouldn't have too much bother getting an annulment off the Catholic Church

[Puckoon]

But maybe she doesnt want direction or pastoral care donagh.  Most seperated or divorced people these days don't care what they church think of them and don't look to the church for anything. 
Maybe she's perfectly happy, was perfectly happy when she started going with him.  You're making awful big assumptions to condemn the man.

Maybe, but sometimes a sick person may not want healed. That would be the view of a Catholic and as such the duty of a Catholic priest would be to attempt to give her guidance.

I'm not condemning the man, simply pointing out that by expected standards, his actions were wrong.

A lot of Catholics think that would be nonsense.  I mean is there many out there who would expect someone to stay in a unhappy marriage? and I'd include priests in that.  It may be the official church policy but I don't see or hear of it in practice too often, not this century anyway.

pints, you know I am a practicing Catholic.  As such, I think the sacrament of marriage has to be respected, it's not simply between man and woman, they take oaths before God to promise various things, depending on the rite they choose.  Marriage is a life-long committment, not to be ended when one party gets tired of the hum-drum of ordinary-day life.

Do people get divorced when they get tired of everyday life together? The Church basically forced previous generations of women to stick by their man no matter what was thrown their way. Women who were abused and could take no more left their husbands in times gone by. What did they get from the Church and its medieval ways? Treated like a leper, that's what.

Tony, I think these days people do get divorced because they are tired of their partner - their ways or personality or whatever excuse they use

I know in previous times the Church was more regimental about this but it has softened its approach to annulments when the cases they are looking at are genuine ones

While you may be correct about people becoming less tolerant in a marriage, and not working at it enough - there are cases when you end up divorced with no choice at all in the matter.

Does that mean you automagically should get the shaft from the church?

[stew]

No woman should have to stay with an abuser, the first time a man lifts his hand to the wife or GF should be the last because she should be gone. If I did that to mine she would either A. Leave my arse or B. Hit me over the head with a baseball bat when I am sleeping, probably B.

As for the Priest, I agree with Donagh, all the backslapping for this man is unbelievable, he let a lot of people down no matter what way you cut it, that said I wish him well and all involved well.

[ardmhachaabu]

But maybe she doesnt want direction or pastoral care donagh.  Most seperated or divorced people these days don't care what they church think of them and don't look to the church for anything. 
Maybe she's perfectly happy, was perfectly happy when she started going with him.  You're making awful big assumptions to condemn the man.

Maybe, but sometimes a sick person may not want healed. That would be the view of a Catholic and as such the duty of a Catholic priest would be to attempt to give her guidance.

I'm not condemning the man, simply pointing out that by expected standards, his actions were wrong.

A lot of Catholics think that would be nonsense.  I mean is there many out there who would expect someone to stay in a unhappy marriage? and I'd include priests in that.  It may be the official church policy but I don't see or hear of it in practice too often, not this century anyway.

pints, you know I am a practicing Catholic.  As such, I think the sacrament of marriage has to be respected, it's not simply between man and woman, they take oaths before God to promise various things, depending on the rite they choose.  Marriage is a life-long committment, not to be ended when one party gets tired of the hum-drum of ordinary-day life.

Do people get divorced when they get tired of everyday life together? The Church basically forced previous generations of women to stick by their man no matter what was thrown their way. Women who were abused and could take no more left their husbands in times gone by. What did they get from the Church and its medieval ways? Treated like a leper, that's what.

Tony, I think these days people do get divorced because they are tired of their partner - their ways or personality or whatever excuse they use

I know in previous times the Church was more regimental about this but it has softened its approach to annulments when the cases they are looking at are genuine ones

While you may be correct about people becoming less tolerant in a marriage, and not working at it enough - there are cases when you end up divorced with no choice at all in the matter.

Does that mean you automagically should get the shaft from the church?

To be honest puckoon, I don't know enough about it to be able to answer that definitively without first knowing the individual circumstances - to give an off the cuff example, I don't think that a single instance of domestic violence would be enough to trigger an annulment

[Puckoon]

What Im asking is - what are your options - if your wife comes home some day (god forbid) and tells you that shes divorcing you? Youve been married in good faith, and most annulment criteria wont fit?

If you want to stay in swing with the church - what on earth can you do about it?


Also - can both, or only one party get granted the annulment?

[ardmhachaabu]

What Im asking is - what are your options - if your wife comes home some day (god forbid) and tells you that shes divorcing you? Youve been married in good faith, and most annulment criteria wont fit?

If you want to stay in swing with the church - what on earth can you do about it?


Also - can both, or only one party get granted the annulment?

What you could do in those extreme circumstances is to talk to your partner and try and resolve matters in another way. If she is asking you for a divorce because your farts smell bad and you don't use deodorant, chances are you wouldn't get an annulment for that

[Main Street]

One time years ago my wife told me that if I was going to have an affair with another woman, I should tell her before embarking on it.
As I didn't (dare) ask for clarification at the time, that request has stayed in the doesn't make sense zone.
Maybe she had some emergency plans, a secret course of action mapped out in her brain, sourced from some Soap she was watching at the time, exactly on how she should deal with that news.

[Zapatista]

The law of averages
The fact that I am getting none
Past history and form
The fact that preists are men - not super heroes with no sex drive

Its a bit like saying only the managers we know about are getting paid.

Its happened in the past, its happening right now, and its going to happen in the future.

If it's based on the law of averages then the fact that priests are men and priests would suggest they are getting less.

It's like saying that the managers we know that are getting paid are getting paid more than your average Joe while the majority of managers who probably don't get paid are probably paid more than the average guy too. It's doesn't make sense.

[Alco Pup]

I can see both sides of the arguement about priests getting married, but I do think that they should be allowed to.

The number of priests is dying out, and the vow of celibacy is one of the factors causing the decline in numbers.  I know of several friends who have all said that they had seriously considered the priesthood but didn't go that route because they did not want to be celibate!

On the other hand, we asked the nuns in school about it, why they felt it was still relevant in this day and age.  Their answer was simple - when a man chooses to devote his life to God, he needs to be able to put all his energies and focus into it.  It becomes his life.  If a priest was to marry, then this effectively becomes a "distraction".  He cannot have his entire life revolving around the church, he has to become a husband and potentially father as well.

In saying that, any woman who would marry someone in the church would have to be very understanding.  She would always take second place - not many women would be prepared to accept that!

[stew]

As things stand now the former Priest has broken his vows and was involved in a sexual relationship whist being a Catholic Priest, he has let down his congregation and further harmed the reputation of the Catholic Church if that is even possible nowadays. Then when discussed on here people give him pats on the back and say fair play to him and to me that is dead wrong.

All that aside, Priests should marry and will need to be able to marry in the future as the numbers of priests continues to decline due to the Churches issues on several fronts, one being the abuse cases worldwide and the other being the fact that they are asking too much of men nowadays in terms of the archaic rules surrounding celibacy.

[windyshepardhenderson]

As things stand now the former Priest has broken his vows and was involved in a sexual relationship whist being a Catholic Priest, he has let down his congregation and further harmed the reputation of the Catholic Church if that is even possible nowadays. Then when discussed on here people give him pats on the back and say fair play to him and to me that is dead wrong.

All that aside, Priests should marry and will need to be able to marry in the future as the numbers of priests continues to decline due to the Churches issues on several fronts, one being the abuse cases worldwide and the other being the fact that they are asking too much of men nowadays in terms of the archaic rules surrounding celibacy.

He's only human. priests maybe prominent figures in their communities but that doesnt mean they arent lonely as f**k. you're right about the catholic church needing to allow priests to marry. its not fair on them 

[ardmhachaabu]

Priests make a vow of celibacy.  They know exactly what they are getting into when they have Holy Orders conferred on them

In my opinion, that should remain.  To do anything else would mean diminishing the role of the priest.  That's not something practicing Catholics would want.  Not that I would worry too much about this ever becoming possible while Pope Benedict XVI is at the helm 

[pintsofguinness]

I can see both sides of the arguement about priests getting married, but I do think that they should be allowed to.

The number of priests is dying out, and the vow of celibacy is one of the factors causing the decline in numbers.  I know of several friends who have all said that they had seriously considered the priesthood but didn't go that route because they did not want to be celibate!

On the other hand, we asked the nuns in school about it, why they felt it was still relevant in this day and age.  Their answer was simple - when a man chooses to devote his life to God, he needs to be able to put all his energies and focus into it.  It becomes his life.  If a priest was to marry, then this effectively becomes a "distraction".  He cannot have his entire life revolving around the church, he has to become a husband and potentially father as well.

In saying that, any woman who would marry someone in the church would have to be very understanding.  She would always take second place - not many women would be prepared to accept that!

There's a number of jobs/careers with big demands and where family life come second. IN fact, what hours does a priest work exactly? f**k all I'd say.
If presidents and prime ministers can get married and have children then I think a priest could manage it too!

[The Iceman]

All these other jobs Pints get compensated for their hours.
You can't seriously compare presidents and priests......