Wedding presents

[cavan4ever]

Why should i have to give a bigger present because couples want a fancy meal that they can tell everyone about

Good, you're getting the point at last.

Coming around to the english way of thinking 

[pintsofguinness]

Why should i have to give a bigger present because couples want a fancy meal that they can tell everyone about

Good, you're getting the point at last.

Coming around to the english way of thinking 

Dont see much wrong with the english way on thinking on weddings. 

[Lazer]

ok calm down everyone, £50 is fine. End of matter. I will accept that although it is not my opinion. I am starting to sound like I am on a six-figure salary now  people get so hot under the collar on a subject which should not be deemed as so touchy

take a look at ANY recognised hotel venue in any part of Ireland and see the average cost per meal, thats all I am saying, I feel the moral obligation to at least cover the cost of the feed, anything after that is up to the couple themselves... I just think pintsofguinness has a major gripe on "paying for someone else's wedding" simple as that and that the invitation is seen as a summons

cavan4ever is right, the english are notorious for giving crap wedding presents... I lived there

The average cost of a meal is probably about £35

example:
http://www.canalcourthotel.com/weddings.jsp?c=/Weddings/menus.jsp - the wedding menu starts from £28.90, plus £5 - £10 for the evening buffet

thats one, here are 4 more

http://www.loughernegolfresort.com/ENG/static_files/files/wedding_packages_22_04_09.pdf - £56-£80 per meal

http://www.manor-house-hotel.com/UpLoads/Documents/WEDDING%20PACKAGE%202009.pdf - can't be arsed reading it all but somewhere around £50-£60 per meal looks about right

http://www.ballymascanlon.com/html/weddingmenu.htm - €50+ for meal, not inc. the extras

http://www.galgorm.com/filestore/documents/Wedding_Menu%5C%27s_2010.pdf - £37-£100 for food only.

And I think most people will agree that most couples won't want to go for the "basic" package on their big day

Comments on the above:
Lougherne - yeah its expensive ok
Manorhouse hotel - the most meal inc buffet and drinks on arrival is £45
Ballymacscanlon - There is 6 menu selections - 4 are below €50 and only 2 above with the most expensive at €53
Galgorm - There is 6 of 12 options under £40

Basically my point is in most venues £50 will easily cover the cost of a meal!

Anyway I agree with what others have said - why should you have to pay for someone elses choice of wedding? People don't invite you to their wedding for the money (or at least they shouldn't).
£100 per couple is perfectly reasonable

[cavan4ever]

Why should i have to give a bigger present because couples want a fancy meal that they can tell everyone about

Good, you're getting the point at last.

Coming around to the english way of thinking 

Dont see much wrong with the english way on thinking on weddings.

Nothing wrong with it that is in their culture and is the way they do things.

[pintsofguinness]

Why should i have to give a bigger present because couples want a fancy meal that they can tell everyone about

Good, you're getting the point at last.

Coming around to the english way of thinking 

Dont see much wrong with the english way on thinking on weddings.

Nothing wrong with it that is in their culture and is the way they do things.

I dont think Irish culture was ever about spending ridiculous amounts of money for show and to keep up with the Jones.  Is it any wonder the 26 counties is in the state it is?

[cavan4ever]

Why should i have to give a bigger present because couples want a fancy meal that they can tell everyone about

Good, you're getting the point at last.

Coming around to the english way of thinking 

Dont see much wrong with the english way on thinking on weddings.

Nothing wrong with it that is in their culture and is the way they do things.

I dont think Irish culture was ever about spending ridiculous amounts of money for show and to keep up with the Jones.  Is it any wonder the 26 counties is in the state it is?

Are you saying everyone does that on weddings ?

[pintsofguinness]

Are you saying everyone does that on weddings ?

No, but I think it's common. 

I think, as AZ pointed out, a lot of couples just cave in to inviting everyone in the hope they dont offend anyone, it's wrong in my eyes and if your neighbour gets offended because you've only invited close friends and family and doesnt understand that then they arent really worth bothering about.  I've big family, on both sides and cousins are completely left out in a lot of the weddgins, no ones got offended because we understand why.

[sammymaguire]

Lazer, will you get much on here for £50? http://gifts.kudosnetwork.co.uk/56292 £50 won't get you that much these days will it? I think 12 red roses for the wife on Valentine's Day or her birthday or on the birth of your first child could be in excess of £50.

my straightforward point is the present (which is normally cash/cheque) is meant to be a GIFT, so apart from the gift of your attendance on that day, which will always be remembered and greatly appreciated, after the £50 (which helps the couple cover the cost of the meal, nothing else so it is not a money making exercise) the couple are left to pay for everything else (their choice as they are the ones getting married)

[cavan4ever]

Are you saying everyone does that on weddings ?

No, but I think it's common. 

I think, as AZ pointed out, a lot of couples just cave in to inviting everyone in the hope they dont offend anyone, it's wrong in my eyes and if your neighbour gets offended because you've only invited close friends and family and doesnt understand that then they arent really worth bothering about.  I've big family, on both sides and cousins are completely left out in a lot of the weddgins, no ones got offended because we understand why.

I know some people go way over the top and ask half the country which is madness.

[pintsofguinness]

PoG I dont know if you are taking the piss or are just a grumpy shite, but I feel sorry for your friends who actually do invite you to their weddings if your opinions on here are really your real true life opinions.

I dont understand why?

[Treasurer]

Rois & Treasurer - there may have been a few items considered 'extravagant' but as true to my calling in life I priced the life out of everything to make it as affordable as possible

Ach I don't care if the couple want to spend their life savings on releasing a diamond collared dove for every day they've known each other (might think it was daft, but it's their business), my objection is to the notion that the guests should be giving according the to expected cost - and in fairness I don't think that mentality is all that common.

[Lazer]

Lazer, will you get much on here for £50? http://gifts.kudosnetwork.co.uk/56292 £50 won't get you that much these days will it? I think 12 red roses for the wife on Valentine's Day or her birthday or on the birth of your first child could be in excess of £50.

my straightforward point is the present (which is normally cash/cheque) is meant to be a GIFT, so apart from the gift of your attendance on that day, which will always be remembered and greatly appreciated, after the £50 (which helps the couple cover the cost of the meal, nothing else so it is not a money making exercise) the couple are left to pay for everything else (their choice as they are the ones getting married)

Thats why i'm trying to get them for free!
£50  can still get you a lot these days.
If can't say i was ever (or at least very rarely) spend £50 on meal.

£50 could feed a family for a week and has to for a lot of low income families - so for these families giving £100 as a wedding present is a lot of money!

[pintsofguinness]

Id rather receive a summons than an invitation, especially when it takes me five minutes to think of who the invitation is from and how they know me and then it dawns on me I haven't seen them since school ffs.  But no, I'd say they're inviting me for my company!

...need I say more...

They're not friends who are inviting me and I dont go to those types of weddings so I still dont understand your comment. 

[Treasurer]

Id rather receive a summons than an invitation, especially when it takes me five minutes to think of who the invitation is from and how they know me and then it dawns on me I haven't seen them since school ffs.  But no, I'd say they're inviting me for my company!

...need I say more...

Some people hate weddings, ANY weddings, that's their entitlement.

Weddings can be great days, but I've been to a few where I'd rather have spent the day picking stones.  That doesn't make me a bad person.

[ziggysego]

I love weddings. A lot of begrudgary in here. A great days craic