Great Phrases

[Hereiam]

As useful as a fart in a space suit

[C_Berg_316]

When stuck in slow traffic, queues, etc

"slow as a f**king wet week"

if your feeling very tired

"jeez i could sleep on a clothes line"

[Stall the Bailer]

Hard to beat with a big stick

As usefull as tits on a bull

No point putting a nail where a crowbar was

Stand on

[blewuporstuffed]

a few football related ones

the weather turns quicker

he couldnt get a ball in wellworths

he wouldnt know if it was blew up or stuffed 

he couldnt kick snow of a ditch

he's not even the cousin of a footballer

if they were shooting footballers he'd get off

and one they used to say about our goalkeeper at training:
the only difference between him jogging and sprinting is the expression on his face

[SidelineKick]

"Not in a month of Sundays"

[blewuporstuffed]

get up a that or i'll sell ye

[blewuporstuffed]

reply to when someones blowing about the amount they drank the night before

'I spilt more on my tie'

also,

'sure you couldnt drink pea soup'

[The Corporal]

When your feeling Hot and Sweaty:

"Im sweating like a priest in a Barney suit" or

"Sweating like a nun in a field of cucumbers"

[blewuporstuffed]

To someone who has got on the wrong side of you –

"May your next shite be a hedgehog"

May a thousand camels dung in your garden

[Bensars]

When your feeling Hot and Sweaty:

"Im sweating like a priest in a Barney suit" or

"Sweating like a nun in a field of cucumbers"

Sweatin like a paedophile on a bouncy castle

[the green man]

I'm sooooo hungry that  could eat 'the snotters of a corpse'

[D4S]

I'm sooooo hungry that  could eat 'the snotters of a corpse'

Disgusting but funny


When sweating

'Jesus I was sweatin like a fat prostitute'

[5 Sams]

"Ask the back of me bollix"

"Sweating like a black man at a Ku Klux Klan meeting."

"As dry as a nun's knickers".

[blewuporstuffed]

when some one asks you do you know where something is reply:

Is my face red?

no

Then is not stuck up my ass

[C_Berg_316]

To someone who's tight:

"your as tight as a camels hole in the dessert"

this classic was used when we first got ice baths at training - co-manager - in and around 40 pure farmer type explaining to the committee about getting money for ice baths - committee member asks what temperature does the water have to be in these ice baths - farmer type co-manager replies with the classic:

"they just have to be mad freezing cowl"