The Liverpool Joke thread.... let them commence!

[SlimShady]

Gab, it was on a documentary I watched twice a few years ago. But no, just because it sounds anti-scouser it must be untrue!!! 


The Pet
A man was walking down a street in the centre of Manchester and saw a Rotweiler attacking an old lady. He immediately ran over to the dog and started to struggle in which he sustained many bites, but he eventually he got his hands around the dog's neck and strangled it until it was dead. A passing reporter commented: that was f**king fantastic how you saved that old dears life!, I have to write a story about this, how about the headline - Manchester United fan saves granny's life?,
"I'm not a Utd fan" replied the bloke.
"well how about Man City fan saves granny's life"? said the reporter.
"I'm not a City fan either" said our hero,
" I'm from Liverpool".
"Never mind I know just the headline, you read the paper tomorrow" said the reporter.
The man picks up the paper the following day to read the headline - SCOUSE BASTARD KILLS FAMILY PET!!

[Aristotle Flynn]

Extrat:  Hillsborough - the real story.

"A lot of the Liverpool supporters were drunk at 2.55, a lot of them didn't have tickets, and a lot of them did bunk in the ground, But this believe it or not happens at every single game. The only difference is the police and stewards are competent enough to deal with it.

The obvious failings are easy enough to see, There were a lot of fans that turned up late, got through the gate and proceeded as fast as they could down the first (unmarked) tunnel to the lower enclosure. On entering this tunnel it would have become evident that the enclosure was full. Then because of the enormity of the crowd still waiting outside and the crush on those at the front the police decide to open the gates to let fans in. Quite possibly the worst decision in a series of bad decisions, as fans rushed through the open gates which are directly adjacent to the unmarked tunnel, fans inside the tunnel become tightly packed but as more people piled in behind them it becomes impossible to turn back. Add to the fact that stewards offered no directions or warnings about the overcrowding situation.

Meanwhile stewards pitchside can see the obvious confusion as the central pen is close to rupturing while the pens either side are virtually empty, Fans at the front of the enclosure use there last breath to plead with stewards to open the gates at the front, these pleads are ignored.

Finally the game is stopped as fans lucky enough to escape over the top of the barricade without being impaled on the spikes spill over onto the pitch and collapse, it is at this point that Liverpool fans start to pickpocket the fans who now lie lifeless on the Hillsborough turf, urinating on the dead and basking in the drunken chaos they have caused."

[Gabriel_Hurl]

what book did that come from?

[SlimShady]

The silence of the scousers is deafening! 

[Gabriel_Hurl]

You'll find I asked a question - which Aristotle hasn't answered

[SlimShady]

award winning writer Andrew Hussey wrote this in the Guardian regarding Hysel:

''One lad confessed that he had been part of the charge in 'Sector Z' but had broken down weeping when he saw what he had done. There was a cover story about the 'heroic Scouser who saved lives'. In stark contrast, K Martindale of Mossley Hill wrote to the Echo to say he had seen fans pick-pocketing and kicking the corpses. On the ferry from Zeebrugge, disgusted and traumatised, he reported that a grinning lout had boasted: 'We killed forty!' ''


Probably bullshit though, the best fans in the world wouldnt do that!! 

[An Fear Rua]

bare one thing in mind, Juve, and Italians are no innocents either.
They are however a bunch of yellow bastards when it comes to kicking off at football.
Knives everywhere and a favourite tactic is to drive up behing you at speed on the scooter and smash you over the head with an iron bar, if they didnt stab you first.

[SlimShady]

hmm, well though out post there. Me thinks AFR is one of these soccer hooligans!

''yellow bastards''

''knives everywhere''

buck eejit.

[An Fear Rua]

which part of the post are you having issues with.
Maybe your experiences of watching soccer in Italy(ie attending the games, and seeing if first hand) outweigh mine???

[SlimShady]

no, you just come across as a knuckle dragging imbecile!!

[An Fear Rua]

is that so, care to elaborate?

You come across as someone who reads the sun and swears its gospel.

[Mayo4Sam]

I find it highly unlikely that anybody iverpool supporter or not p!ssed on a corpse. Whoever wrote this tripe needs to look at themselves, obviously a tabloid journalist who decided to make money on the back of a tragedy by telling lies about it

[cavan4ever]

this thread is a joke!!

[Border Fox]

No humour on this joke thread - silly stuff

[Norf Tyrone]

You can't wipe out the history. We are the only fams who'd still be singing after two big defeats like that.

I am not going to get too deep into this arguement, but this sort of sanctimonious shite annoys the feck outta me. Liverpool fans bleeding on about their 'eestory'. They appear to perceive themselves in some higher echelon of supporter from other Clubs. Liverpool bleat on about their trophies, persecution etc, but gloss over the negative aspects of their Club. Too many football and especially Pool fans associate history with winning. That is the bastion of the glory hunter.

As stated elsewhere in this thread, all Clubs have elemants that are a disgrace.

You can't pick and choose which elemants you'd like to remember. Everything that has happened in the past is an ingredient that makes up what a Club is.