Messages

[It's one thing being boyfriend and girlfriend but being married is a whole different kettle of fish.]

I'm 40 in November. Life can be very stressful at times but I wouldn't say I'm having a mid life crisis or anything yet. Marriage is good,work is good, don't have many regrets at all apart from wishing I had lived in a different country for 5 or 6 years, that would have been nice. Spent a year drinking and riding in Australia but that doesn't really count.
How do you know you're having a midlife crisis anyway?

On marriage,It is sad people break-up after a couple of years. The wife's brother and his (ex)wife only lasted 7 months.
I think alot of couples get caught up in the actual wedding itself. Sure some are planning it for a couple of years and it takes over their life. Then it's all over and reality hits home.
It's one thing being boyfriend and girlfriend but being married is a whole different kettle of fish.
I tell the wife everyday how lucky she is to have me, we're married 8 years so I like to think it's working.

What changes though?  Most couples are generally living together anyway and some already have kids.  I agree facebook and the like doesn't help, 'oh look, their life/marriage seems perfect and far better than ours, so there must be something wrong'.  Think it dawns on some people that they were never actually in love with the OH in the first place.

Facebook?? Ffs! People go through this who aren't on Facebook and went through it before Facebook! And anyone who looks at a friends Facebook page and envies it wants a good slap ! And probably shouldn't be married!

RE: the broken marriages I think people give up too easily. They hit upon a rough patch or an argument escalates and they think feck it this isn't worth the hassle. I know of men in Armagh walking away from 4 kids...another lad walked away from 2 young kids and one of them had Down Syndrome.

I don't believe I'm having a mid life crisis the way hollywood would describe it but I've definitely been thinking a lot about life and choices and time.  I think crisis is a negative word. I'm having more of a realization or awakening that life is short, I'm not invincible after all, that time is precious and the people I love deserve more of my time.....

Thankfully my woman is very easy going - though I never went for the high maintenance or daughter of satan type - why would anyone?
She isn't on any social media, she thinks it's the biggest waste of time.  I periodically turn FB off.  I definitely agree it could wreck marriages but more from the standpoint of exes being in touch or old school acquaintances getting a bit flirty and then taking it further.

I think it also worth stating that staying in a loveless/ negative marriage helps no-one, certainly not the kids, so I don't believe in the staying together for the kids sake. Sometimes people realise there is no fixing it and that people have changed and moved apart. Staying together for the sake of it is a recipe for disaster.

I've seen many relationships heal from "relationships that can't be fixed" but also recognize some marriages should never have happened.I would challenge the thinking that someone getting divorced after 7 months or 2 years didn't really try? Or a younger generation can't handle problems?

But this isn't all about marriage.... I agree more with MR2 on this and I'm not just pointing at men. I've had long conversations with my Mrs about this too and her role in life, what she wants, how she sometimes feels stuck or labelled as the "mummy" and sometimes needs to escape from that for 5 mins...
I would push back though that this happens when kids get older...I have 5 under 10 and I'm turning 40. A lot of people marry in their late 20s and early 30s now and don't get to the empty nest stage until their 50s and 60s...

[It's one thing being boyfriend and girlfriend but being married is a whole different kettle of fish.]

I'm 40 in November. Life can be very stressful at times but I wouldn't say I'm having a mid life crisis or anything yet. Marriage is good,work is good, don't have many regrets at all apart from wishing I had lived in a different country for 5 or 6 years, that would have been nice. Spent a year drinking and riding in Australia but that doesn't really count.
How do you know you're having a midlife crisis anyway?

On marriage,It is sad people break-up after a couple of years. The wife's brother and his (ex)wife only lasted 7 months.
I think alot of couples get caught up in the actual wedding itself. Sure some are planning it for a couple of years and it takes over their life. Then it's all over and reality hits home.
It's one thing being boyfriend and girlfriend but being married is a whole different kettle of fish.
I tell the wife everyday how lucky she is to have me, we're married 8 years so I like to think it's working.

What changes though?  Most couples are generally living together anyway and some already have kids.  I agree facebook and the like doesn't help, 'oh look, their life/marriage seems perfect and far better than ours, so there must be something wrong'.  Think it dawns on some people that they were never actually in love with the OH in the first place.

Facebook?? Ffs! People go through this who aren't on Facebook and went through it before Facebook! And anyone who looks at a friends Facebook page and envies it wants a good slap ! And probably shouldn't be married!

RE: the broken marriages I think people give up too easily. They hit upon a rough patch or an argument escalates and they think feck it this isn't worth the hassle. I know of men in Armagh walking away from 4 kids...another lad walked away from 2 young kids and one of them had Down Syndrome.

I don't believe I'm having a mid life crisis the way hollywood would describe it but I've definitely been thinking a lot about life and choices and time.  I think crisis is a negative word. I'm having more of a realization or awakening that life is short, I'm not invincible after all, that time is precious and the people I love deserve more of my time.....

Thankfully my woman is very easy going - though I never went for the high maintenance or daughter of satan type - why would anyone?
She isn't on any social media, she thinks it's the biggest waste of time.  I periodically turn FB off.  I definitely agree it could wreck marriages but more from the standpoint of exes being in touch or old school acquaintances getting a bit flirty and then taking it further.

Thankfully the marriage is in great shape, then again we're only married 11 years, but I'm hopeful we will stay the course.

I think my priorities have shifted as I approach 40.  Time is my most valuable asset.  I don't have many regrets because I see each mistake or wrong turn as part of the journey to today.  Like anyone I often wonder what if....

My observation in my own life and some lads I know in similar boats from the same year in school even, is we all want more time. Or better use of the time we have. And we all recognize there has to be more to life than running the hamster wheel, commuting to major cities for stressful jobs, keeping up appearances and worrying what others think/say about you...

The 40's will hopefully be a great decade for those of us facing or in them. Where we make decisions to give us more time to do the things that matter and worry less about the things that don't.....

I went home earlier in July to Armagh and was home the year before that too. Something I noticed and I suppose I'm experiencing a bit of it myself is the scary realization that life is moving very fast, time is precious and lots of men (and maybe women too) around the age of 40 are having a bit of a mid life crisis and wondering if they chose the right path. I've changed jobs recently in to a brand new industry.  Some friends at home have done the same. I also see the negative side of things with people ending their marriages in the hope for something better....

I find myself concerned more about time.  Missed opportunities to spend time with my aging parents or missed opportunities to spend time with my kids.  My job change hopefully will provide more work/life balance and afford me more time at home and less travelling for work. But I still wonder what else I can do.

Anyone in the same boat?
#GaaBoardTherapy

bought 4 kids kits on two occasions from shootjersey and very happy with them - you'll get a season or two out of them - name and number on the back is nice touch that the kids enjoy

Finished a book there called "Deep Nutrition" and she said oils were worse than sugars - the only oils to touch were Olive oil, butter/lard and coconut oil - she said everything else was worse than sugar for you.
That was my big takeaway from her book anyway.

Cutting out or back on sugar is definitely the way to go.
Fresh organic foods - cook yourself and keep away from processed crap.  If you can grow at home even better.
Lots of water.  Pre and Pro Biotics. Plenty of beans and seeds and good fats.

Small incremental changes make all the difference. Your body thanks you for it and once you're off something it won't accept going back.
I couldn't eat an ice cream now as much as I would love to I'd be sick.
Same with chinese food - had one 2nd night on holidays - sick as a dog hadn't ate one in years.
The body is amazing

Come on get a Macari's into you the next time you're back. Cherry and chocolate is hard to beat!

Got it 3 times for the kids there a couple of weeks ago when we were back - I stuck to the sorbet. Kids love it - say its the best ice cream they've ever had.  they prefer the plain stuff in the shop though to the wee ice ream parlour

Finished a book there called "Deep Nutrition" and she said oils were worse than sugars - the only oils to touch were Olive oil, butter/lard and coconut oil - she said everything else was worse than sugar for you.
That was my big takeaway from her book anyway.

Cutting out or back on sugar is definitely the way to go.
Fresh organic foods - cook yourself and keep away from processed crap.  If you can grow at home even better.
Lots of water.  Pre and Pro Biotics. Plenty of beans and seeds and good fats.

Small incremental changes make all the difference. Your body thanks you for it and once you're off something it won't accept going back.
I couldn't eat an ice cream now as much as I would love to I'd be sick.
Same with chinese food - had one 2nd night on holidays - sick as a dog hadn't ate one in years.
The body is amazing

lovely markings good strong looking pup - read up on the history of the breed  -from what I was told they were born to run  - I had a fella I knew back in Armagh who had one and he would have his boxer follow him everywhere on the bike - I remember him saying about lifting your arm up above shoulder height or something always triggered some defensive response in his dog - but sure they're all different.
Get him trained early. K9 Ireland have a course where you give them the dog for 2-3 weeks and they send him back trained. Good deal in my opinion...

I can definitely see it coming to Ireland and/or the UK in the next few years and being made legal.  NC is the largest hemp grower in the US but theres a lot of product coming from africa and south america too.  Would love to see the plant being embraced for everything it could provide - especially as a paper substitute.  I noticed even Armagh has a hemp shop!

Like alcohol all cannabis in Canada will be controlled by the provincial distribution board. I know some of the bosses in British Columbia and they believe theres real money to be made with the regulation of cannabis.  They don't think there is any money in growing it. There are too many growers and the market is saturated with raw product.  The money is in repackaging it - edibles, oils... I'd love to hear if anyone is working on anything ?

The sport of bodybuilding has always been about steroids...pushing the body that far, that hard needs supplements to speed up recovery in order to get the size and shape the sport demands today.  If you're not getting on a stage I see no point in taking them.  What they do to the body isn't worth it.
I definitely understand why some would take them.  I know a lot of lads in BJJ who are openly taking TRT and you can tell the difference. These lads are stronger and recover faster and at 40 I am a step behind where I used to be. Ask me at 50 and I could be joining them ha!

Certainly as you get older its harder to shift belly fat, your T is down and all it takes is a complaint or two about your libido to your doctor here in the US to be prescribed TRT.

I'm not sure how rampant steroid use is in all gyms. In the North any of the bodybuilding gyms like Warehouse in Portadown or Elite in Lisburn would be known for it but in a positive way. They're both bodybuilders gyms. Most are hoping to compete on a stage.  I don't know if I'd label it all vanity. pushing the body to the limits is what most athletes do in their respective sports...

Ben Greenfield
Tim Ferris
Model Health Show
Jocko Podcast

These are my four stables at the minute

Can I encourage you all to participate in a great event coming up in Armagh this weekend:
https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/re-ignite-your-ultimate-power-tickets-44439759517

It can equip many of you who struggle with depression or negativity, with the tools and techniques to take control of your thoughts.
I've personally went through similar training and talk to the host of the event regularly still.
Worth every penny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9KhvG2dpvI

Young girl takes her own life and makes 13 tapes to the 13 people who contributed to her death.

Kate Spade and now Anthony Bourdain....
There's a chapter in freakenomics about suicide spiking when high profile celebrities take their own lives. Tragic stuff