GAA Posers

[mylestheslasher]

Robbed from Joe.ie. The top posers according to Joe (http://www.joe.ie/gaa/gaa-features/the-gaa-poser-0010544-1) are

Paul Galvin, Conor Mortimor, Ciaran McDonald, MJ Tierney, Colm Parkinson, Trevor Giles, Owen Mulligan, Zach Tuohy

The arch nemesis of the poser is Francie Bellew.

So I'd like to nominate Seanie Johnston from Cavan for his big fist up to his adoring fans after he scores. Any others?

My arch nemesis would have to be Bernard Morris!

You get the drift I'm sure so lets have them (


The GAA posers: Who are they and how do you identify them?

There's one on every team. If you don't know who it is, then chances are it's you!

By William Costello

Is Paul Galvin's influence in the fashion columns filtering out onto the fields? JOE looks at some of the ways to identify the modern day GAA poser.

You might say that this neo-expressionistic breed of metrosexual footballer is doing no harm. Sir Alex Ferguson argues the opposite, so much so in fact that he has barred his youth team players from wearing any colour football boots other than the classic black leather.

Senior players like Ryan Giggs and Wayne Rooney are allowed wear whatever they like, so as to not impede on anyone's sponsorship deals. Sir Alex did, however, put a ban on the snood for senior and youth team players alike, he also demanded that Portuguese newcomer, Bebe, get a haircut immediately after his arrival.

Now that's taking the hairdryer treatment to a whole new level Sir Alex.

Back in the GAA world though, we'll also provide you with the ultimate toolkit for becoming a football poser and an insight into the expense that our GAA posers go to look so stylish for us.

Why is he doing it and is it any harm? We also take a look at some of the most high profile football posers, who must be the influence for such an influx of fashion over function in the modern game.

How to identify a GAA poser

White ankle socks over the ordinary socks/ or else the socks will be pulled up above the knees
Jersey sleeves will be taped up to reveal the "guns" or lack thereof.
He will usually be the free taker on the team, employing some gimpy run up routine, designed to emulate Johnny Wilkinson, but in actual fact ends up resembling something from Swan Lake, or Justin TimberLAKE for that matter.
The typical GAA poser will have bleached blonde hair or long flowing locks. Designed to entice a tough corner back (see Francie Bellew) to, "grab a good hold of it".
Henry Ford said that the public "can have any colour car...as long as it's black". The modern day GAA poser has taken this timeless phrase/philosophy, flipped it on its head and adopted that approach to their football boots. It seems their ethos is that they can have any colour, as long as it's NOT black.
Somewhere in the stand will be the WAG, any score from the poser will be immediately followed by an over-elaborate gesture of love to said WAG.
In extreme cases, the player will de-robe in the immediate aftermath of a score, revealing a personal message written on a t-shirt underneath his jersey. This message will often contain embarrassing spelling errors. Conor "Michéal Jackson" Mortimer, anyone?
You could set the clock by them suffering a career threatening injury, only to make a miraculous recovery in time to kick the resulting free.
More Skin (under armour) on show than a page 3 model.
His mere presence will insight an all out brawl in the tunnel at half time....Well when I say all out brawl, I mean he will press his forehead against a couple of opponents foreheads before his captain comes in and pulls all of his team away. It's become something of a ritual really.
Can be seen in a zombie like state entering the dressing room, with oversized earphones, clearly visible, despite being sheltered under a mammoth hood.
He is prone to having spats with his manager, especially if he is substituted.
Any tattoos or body ink WILL be revealed throughout the course of the game, or the jersey will be discarded at the final whistle (despite Baltic conditions).
Will usually have a piercing that will have to be made a big deal out of by plastering over it.
Will have their boots personalised with their name and number.
The modern day GAA poser will have some special move, unique to himself. Anything that deviates from the regular punt kick will suffice, be it the outside of the boot swerve pass (see Ciaran McDonald) or the dreaded drop kick.
Physiotherapists and doctors alike are baffled at the problems with cramp that seems to be synonymous with posers.
Any form of cold weather will require a snood

[orchard 8195]

Excellant article, can anyone remember the article wrote i think by Paddy Heaney, outlining all the different characters involved with club teams ie the committed club/county player, the county player that doesnt give a s**t about the club, the young player, the ole hans the poser etc. If so could they post a link to it, was brilliant bitve writing.

[Don Johnson]

Aidan Carr

[Milltown Row2]

Plunket Donaghy

[put-it-up-again]

Good thread Myles, these boyos are becoming more and more common.

Just to add a few more criteria for the craic 

-Bollixes that celebrate every point as if they just won the All-Ireland
-The boys on a county panel that can bench 100kg but can't kick a fecking ball. Less gym, more pitch you vain twat!
-If you try to use your reputation as a footballer to chat up women in Copper's. Feck sake, come up with some real charm!
-Have one ear pierced
-Even worse, have both ears pierced
-They go down holding their face...If your hurt that much, hit him back
-Wear A+F hoodies to games even though they got given a free tracksuit
-Drink bottles instead of pints!
-Have hair-gel in their bag for after training...Gay!
-Shout, "Did you see that umpire",,obviously he didn't he's 80 and from the other team.Toughen up

[Milltown Row2]

I have heard that an Antrim player (Donal Armstrong's name mentioned) spent half time of the 1989 All Ireland final fixing his hair in a mirror.

Having asked people, they remember the story but not the player. The response usually ends with "It wasn't Sambo".

think he had a bit then, though Donal could have been that player, never Rogie

[Tony Baloney]

I have heard that an Antrim player (Donal Armstrong's name mentioned) spent half time of the 1989 All Ireland final fixing his hair in a mirror.

Having asked people, they remember the story but not the player. The response usually ends with "It wasn't Sambo".

Are you seriously suggesting it was anyone other than big Barr?

[Milltown Row2]

I have heard that an Antrim player (Donal Armstrong's name mentioned) spent half time of the 1989 All Ireland final fixing his hair in a mirror.

Having asked people, they remember the story but not the player. The response usually ends with "It wasn't Sambo".

Are you seriously suggesting it was anyone other than big Barr?

He always did have neat hair but I'm not sure if it was him this day.

Maybe big Nailly.

Big Nially would have used that Flow Glow stuff. I would doubt in the 80's those cultches would have showered never mind stand in front of a mirror

[Milltown Row2]

Are you saying they still aren't showering???

they will all be on now

[Winnie Peg]

Aaron Kernan

[Tony Baloney]

Are you saying they still aren't showering???

they will all be on now

Now we assume it had to have been some fancy dan McCooey but Dessie Donnelly also had Barr-esque hair back in the day. Unlikely to be any Glensmen unless Cloot was combing his moustache.

[ck]

Reading through this article Brendan Devenney from Donegal sprung to mind. Scored 10 points when they were up by 15 and went missing in a tight game... the hair was always well greased tough.

[anglocelt39]

Good Old Myles starts a thread to have another pop at Seanie Johnston, shock horror, time for a separate thread on predictable GAA Board posters. Off to work now, talk later Miley.

[Orior]

McGourty - all of them

[mylestheslasher]

Good Old Myles starts a thread to have another pop at Seanie Johnston, shock horror, time for a separate thread on predictable GAA Board posters. Off to work now, talk later Miley.

If thats what you think fair enough, I'm not going to waste my time to convince you otherwise!