Run ins with the law

[David McKeown]

Was in the Maxol garage on the Lisburn Road (gone now) one night about 2004, right next to a cop shop when these two spides walked in.  Neither of them noticed the in uniform cops in the shop and shouted to the other one lets get some munchies here and go smoke this joint.  He was promptly arrested for possesion

Ha, that Maxol was about 25 yards from one of the biggest cop shops in town!

Was involved in another incident that happened at the same place a couple of years later.  Not so much funny as scary this one though.  About 4 am one morning I decided to go to the same shop for a drink, being the lazy git that I am I jumped in the car at Chadwick street with a mate of mine and drove towards the garage.  As I came to the top of Chadwick street I looked to my left and saw a motorbike in the far inside lane, so I completed my manoeuvre and turned right into the outside lane of the Lisburn road.  Next thing I know the bike pulls up behind me and starts gesturing towards me.  I ignore this so he pulls in front of me and again I ignore him as I have no idea who he is and drive on to the garage.  The next thing I know the guy pulls up beside me and opens my passenger door and starts trying to pull my mate out of the car.  He then takes off his helmet and screams "I'll do you wait here to I get my uniform on I'll f**king do you"  The guy then heads towards the cop shop.  I follow him and report whats happened next day I phone the ombudsman and make a complaint.  He was a complete dick.  About two months later I get a letter from the ombudsman apologising and telling me he was disciplined

[Aerlik]

So on a number of occasions they stole, in a pre-meditated and planned manner, from hard-working men who provide a much-valued, poorly remunerated* service late at night etc

Good "mates" of yours, by any chance? 


* - When they get paid, that is
[/quote]

For a change we agree, EG!!

[Hardy]

They seem like decent lads - giving a tracksuit to a kn**ker who urinates on his own clothes like a buck goat. I'd let him walk home in his own saturated gear.

Me too. By the way, we don't use the phrase 'buck goat' enough

You're right. I'm going to try and work it into more of my posts.

[HiMucker]

I had to pick my sister up at the airport at about 3.30 in the morning a few years back.  So im tearing over the Glenshane, nothing mental, about 80-85mph to the good.  And i see the dreaded blue flashing lights (by the way some of them new cars with the fancy headlights can make you dung your nags from time to time).  So i Mirror, signal and pull over into the hard shoulder.  Cop comes up to the window and asks for my licence heres what follows.

Cop:  do you know what speed you were doing
Me:  Yes, was doing about 80mph
Cop: Speed limits 70, thats extremely dangerous
Me:  Officer, i know, im just picking my sister up at the airport.  Its the middle of the night and the glenshane is a big open road i dont think its that dangerous to be honest
Cop:  What happend if Mr Fog was out
Me: Well, Mr HiMucker, would have put Mr foot on Mr Break, and slowed Mr Car down
Cop:  Mist or Fog!!

True story   

[omagh_gael]

The only police record I have is their greatest hits album.

[David McKeown]

Remember hearing a story years ago when I was on work experience of a guy who was brought to Dungannon court for speeding. It was the time that a police officer did the prosecution in court. I'd doubt it's true but funny none the less.

After the guy was stopped by a Constable Smith he was asked if he had anything to say and he responded "the defendant had nothing to say, however I Constable Smith would like to proclaim my undying love for you your honour. For many years I have been deeply attracted to you and I feel only right that I now tell you this". The defendant said this in the hope Constable Smith would read it out, in the end though it was a different cop prosecuting And the defendant was also prosecuted for contempt of court.

[cornerback]

I had to pick my sister up at the airport at about 3.30 in the morning a few years back.  So im tearing over the Glenshane, nothing mental, about 80-85mph to the good.  And i see the dreaded blue flashing lights (by the way some of them new cars with the fancy headlights can make you dung your nags from time to time).  So i Mirror, signal and pull over into the hard shoulder.  Cop comes up to the window and asks for my licence heres what follows.

Cop:  do you know what speed you were doing
Me:  Yes, was doing about 80mph
Cop: Speed limits 70, thats extremely dangerous
Me:  Officer, i know, im just picking my sister up at the airport.  Its the middle of the night and the glenshane is a big open road i dont think its that dangerous to be honest
Cop:  What happend if Mr Fog was out
Me: Well, Mr HiMucker, would have put Mr foot on Mr Break, and slowed Mr Car down
Cop:  Mist or Fog!!

True story

Mr Cop doesn't know his speed limits then!!

[HiMucker]

Why let the truth get in the way of a good story.  Do I change that to 50 or 60 then?  Im Not much a stickler for the speed limits 

[quit yo jibbajabba]

down at a weddin in enniskillen yrs ago, in the early days of breathalysers;
i wasnt drivin, mate was; we was headin back past killyhelvin (?); pulled in by cops;
mate gonna get breathalysed; police officer starts explainin process to him...
"Now if it its green, thats good...if its red, thats bad", to which my mate replies "what if its orange, do you shoot me?"

cue silence from the policeman.
o how we loll'ed;
he got away with bein over the limit, think he was borderline;