Dear lawnseed..

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

What's that clown on...??

Even by LS standards this thread is bonkers.

plausible denial terry.. oops I mean mayo

Nice one LS

Lost on me, some kind of Ulster injoke!

[lawnseed]

this chat is great but here's a guy with a problem he wants us to share

dear lawnseed,

I find meself in a pecular position a job I took on- an important job hasn't worked out too well the fellas i'm in churge of simply don't listen to me. i'm trying to change the way they work and it's bin a disaster. some of them even feckd off before the job was over. this isn't the first time I've bin involved but the last time all I had to do was nod and agree with the manager. now i'm the manager and I forgert all the stuff yer man used to say. after disappointing everyone this year I had to apoligise and this smartarse told me to have a titter of wit. now this other fella has came in to help me but i'm worried that he'll get results and make me look like a cluts. what do you think I should do?

dear spelling difficulty,

don't worry about the new guy getting results from what I've seen so far he hasn't achieved anything too spectacular. but just incase that he does your little boob will soon be forgotten.. get back to nodding and agreeing. as for the guys fecking off that will all stop because he'll scare the shite out of them one wrong word or somebody not paying attention and they'll be nursing a fat lip or sore ribs ask any aussie. things are going get easier for you relax. management is not for every one ask roy keane. try to fade into the back ground gradually.

ps leave the statements to the pro.

[lawnseed]

dear lawnseed,

firstly its not me that has the problem its a friend of mine. he's had a very tough life; done some time in jail and stuff but now he's got a top job with big responsibilities. people look to him for leadership and want him to do well. the thing is there's these other fellas all they want to do is keep my mate from achieving his dream. every time my friend wants or needs to make a point or bring something to their attention they sneer at him and point to his time in jail and other things they say he did. this is very frustrating for my mate and his friends. you wouldn't believe the offers my mate gets from abroad to go and help them with their problems and the money they offer is fantastic. I keep telling him to think about letting someone else take over- someone these fellas cant sneer at. how can I get through to him without offending him.

dear friend of 'Wee' relic

what you need to do is remind your mate delicately that when Moses lead god's people out of oppression to the land of milk and honey, Moses himself was not allowed to stay there because of his past sins. the problem for your friend is that mud sticks even when a gimp is throwing it and like some of your friends problems he is also stuck in the mud of the past (somewhere). you need to get a few of your friends together and try to assure your mate that his dream will actually come quicker if he lets someone else do the leading. Maybe he can do better at this other work abroad. I worried that if this mud continues to stick to your mate that these job offers could be withdrawn. you should try to help your mate realise that he is still needed for guidance and advice. maybe this will make him feel better about what it is your saying. ignoring this problem will only prolong the problems your friend wants to see an end to and  makes it easier for those other fellas to sneer.
TIMING! its all about timing choose a time when your friend is not under attack other wise it will look like these other fellas have sneered him out of his job.


ps old golfers never die they just loose their balls