'Twas the night before Christmas... in Kerry
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even the Gooch;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Sam Maguire would soon return there;
The Animals were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of 3-in-a-row danced in their heads;
Pat O'Shea in his nightgown, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Was it Morgan or Kernan that caused all the matter.
So away to the window I flew like a flash,
Yerra t'was only the GPA looking for cash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Or was it the cocaine caused the whiteness below,
Upon closer inspection what appeared to be Piller,
Was but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, via Laois and Wicklow,
I thought for a moment it must be Micko
As fast as a blink his charges they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now Darragh! now Tomas! now Marc and Aidan!
On Cooper! on Galvin! Young and Declan!
To the top of the Hogan! To the top of the hill!
Now dash away! dash away! Thy Kingdom shall thrill"
The Tyrone and Armagh boys had ran out of luck
Not for the first time they weren't worth a f**k
The Monaghan boys were Ulster's last chance
But O'Sullivan's goal put them in a trance.
The Jackeens and Whelo thought it was their year,
And their hordes on the Hill went out without fear.
The Blues had a swagger and got in your face
Their manager Caffery was lasting the pace.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know we had nothing to dread;
The boys from the hill had yet to be bet.
But Declan turned sharply and rattled their net
Roared on by the Piller they were a sight to behold
But when Clucko went awol, their story was told.
The Piller was crying, the country did cheer
There'd be no Sam in Dublin for at least one more year.
So up next the Rebels to try take our crown
Would they be the team to knock Kerry down
But The Langers were striking, no one was to play,
And Donal Óg Cusask just wanted some pay.
So up from the Pairc the Langers they flew,
With the bould Nicky Murphy and Graham Canty too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
Was it reindeers above who wandered around
Hark no, down the chimney Frank Murphy did bound.
He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot,
But his wig was all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of cheques he flung on the table,
But Sam still eludes them, will they ever be able.
With Donaghy scoring the easiest of goals.
Poor auld Frank and Billy gave up their lost souls,
Their eyes filled with tears! Frank's nose like a cherry
Says he, "Ah boy but I f**king hate Kerry"
But the Kerry boys too had their big day plan
It was winning the 2-in-a-row and taking home Sam
The last team to do it were the crowd from the Lee
But again led by Declan the Kingdom did glee.
There is talk of a treble, but that's for next year
Pat O'Shea and his animals dream on without fear
Then laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
Pat sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard them exclaim, ere they drove out the ball,
Yerra Ho Ho Ho boy, a Kerry Christmas to all...
Good man Mike, took a while to do that
'When Darragh with elbows all over the place,
caught poor wee Paul Meegan in the face'
Quote from: thebandit on December 21, 2007, 10:30:44 AM
'When Darragh with elbows all over the place,
caught poor wee Paul Meegan in the face'
:D
Any balls on thon Kerry tree, KM? Cos I've never seen any on your team when they play the men from the bushes...
Sorry but such self indulgent crap - don't give up the day job Mike
Jaysus but there have been a few humour bypass operations about here recently by the look of things. Tis usually meself who is a grumpy ould hoor.
Merry Christmas KM and keep her lit.
Fair play and f**k the begrudgers Mike....they have nothing to write poems about...(bit like ourselves :-\)
Good stuff!
Reminds me when auld ones went on the Late Late to read out their poem to uncle Gaybo.
Good man Mike, a yerra Happy Christmas. ;)
Sorry KM, had to edit and add a verse..
The Tyrone and Armagh boys had ran out of luck
cause without there style of play Kerry wouldn't be worth a f00k
The Monaghan boys were Ulster's last chance
But O'Shea's flying elbows put Meegan in a trance.
How the Kingdom lament about the North's style of game
But now they have copied it, they've no-one to blame
Nobody's doubting, they stats they don't lie
Kerry my ar*e, Monaghan till I die...
And I know you're better half is a Farney lass so my edit is facetious..
Good to see something original for change. Buala Bus!
Have you boys nothing better to do at this time of year?
very good by the way
Quote from: Kerry Mike on December 21, 2007, 01:03:58 AM
'Twas the night before Christmas... in Kerry
Yerra Ho Ho Ho boy, a Kerry Christmas to all...
Maith an fear. Good stuff.
Suckin Diesel KM. Great stuff.
Quote from: Kerry Mike on December 21, 2007, 01:03:58 AM
The Tyrone and Armagh boys had ran out of luck
Not for the first time they weren't worth a f**k
...
An echo of our own sentiments about Kerry in this decade in 2005 no less (thankfully)! ;)
Maith thú KM, lean ar aghaidh!
Look, instead of lambasting the talented bard that is km why dont you Tyrone bies did deep into your
rich vein of misery and come up with a counter-classic. May I suggest "I got those quarter final blues" or "Hey buddy,
got a spare quarter (final) "
Perhaps the Down lads can chime in with Doors inspired version of "We've been Down so goddamn long, it feels like crap to me"
Championships come handy when you don't have a serious game until August.
QuoteAny balls on thon Kerry tree, KM? Cos I've never seen any on your team when they play the men from the bushes...
Youse were running back to the bushes in 1986 for a good shite or were youse waiting for Armagh to invent yon/thon winning football for youse.
I hate reverting to history but show me the balls in 1986 when in Croke Park on that fine September day, when Kerry did whoop some Tyrone ass with a team of old and crippled men by the considerable score of Kerry 2-15 Tyrone 1-10 .
Besides 2007, t'was one of the easiest All Irelands we have ever won out of the 36 in total.
QuoteSorry but such self indulgent crap - don't give up the day job Mike
Thanks but f**k off and have a happy Christmas.
QuoteHave you boys nothing better to do at this time of year?
NO. There are only so many times you can count to 35... did you know the last Finuge man to captain Kerry led us to 4 in a row , Paul Galvin will only lead us to 3.
QuoteKerry my ar*e, Monaghan till I die...
Ye had a great chance to bate us this year and ye blew it..... just like 1985 . But no gain without the pain. I know there is at least an Ulster title in that team.
QuoteChampionships come handy when you don't have a serious game until August.
yerra, tis great boy, but what a load of bollixology, our toughest games have always been against Cork and we bate them twice this year, but since Football was re-invented in 2001with the quarter finals we have won 7 from 7 quarters and played in 5 All Ireland Finals winning 3. I dont know what miserable county you hail from but if you think Championships come easy to us may I suggest spending 1 year in the Kerry training camp.
Quoteour toughest games have always been against Cork
I'd hate to see ye're easiest games. ;D
Quote from: Kerry Mike on December 22, 2007, 01:43:14 AM
QuoteAny balls on thon Kerry tree, KM? Cos I've never seen any on your team when they play the men from the bushes...
Youse were running back to the bushes in 1986 for a good shite or were youse waiting for Armagh to invent yon/thon winning football for youse.
I hate reverting to history but show me the balls in 1986 when in Croke Park on that fine September day, when Kerry did whoop some Tyrone ass with a team of old and crippled men by the considerable score of Kerry 2-15 Tyrone 1-10 .
Besides 2007, t'was one of the easiest All Irelands we have ever won out of the 36 in total.
QuoteSorry but such self indulgent crap - don't give up the day job Mike
Thanks but f**k off and have a happy Christmas.
QuoteHave you boys nothing better to do at this time of year?
NO.
There are only so many times you can count to 35... did you know the last Finuge man to captain Kerry led us to 4 in a row , Paul Galvin will only lead us to 3.
QuoteKerry my ar*e, Monaghan till I die...
Ye had a great chance to bate us this year and ye blew it..... just like 1985 . But no gain without the pain. I know there is at least an Ulster title in that team.
QuoteChampionships come handy when you don't have a serious game until August.
yerra, tis great boy, but what a load of bollixology, our toughest games have always been against Cork and we bate them twice this year, but since Football was re-invented in 2001with the quarter finals we have won 7 from 7 quarters and played in 5 All Ireland Finals winning 3. I dont know what miserable county you hail from but if you think Championships come easy to us may I suggest spending 1 year in the Kerry training camp.
:D fair play Kerry mike its a pity the politicians didn't answer the questions like you anyway the pints must have been good last night ;)
thats a beautiful poem km, brings a tear to my eye ;)
Quote from: magickingdom on December 22, 2007, 12:11:29 PM
thats a beautiful poem km, brings a tear to my eye ;)
Brings a tear to my eye too, but not for the same reason!! :-\
Top stuff there Mike - it made me and my da guffaw!!! ;D
Winning 7 from 7 quarters is a good statistic, but the point is that's where Kerry's default starting point is each year now. Other provinces battle it out to avoid rounds of qualifiers - Kerry (and Cork) have no need to as they will be in the final 12 each year. Training can be specifically tailored to reach peak fitness in August. Cork also have a decent record in their quarter finals.
Kerry would still be top of the tree regardless what structure they have to face 8), but their number of All-Irelands would perhaps be closer to Dublin's 22. If Kerry were in a province with the likes of Roscommon, Derry or Kildare, then some year these teams would beat them. It wouldn't happen very often but it would happen sometime - like the way shocks happen in Connacht, Ulster and Leinster. Current set-up gives the default into the final 12/quarters regardless as Cork is the only serious game before August. And the last time you were in the 12, you got a handy one in Longford at home.
Aaron thinks your poem's shite, too KM :-*
Quote from: red hander on December 22, 2007, 04:39:36 PM
Aaron thinks your poem's shite, too KM :-*
Poem ain't bad. Good rundown of 2007.
To my slightly older twin brother - well done old stock.
Tee Hee come on the three ;D ;D ;D
QuoteWinning 7 from 7 quarters is a good statistic, but the point is that's where Kerry's default starting point is each year now. Other provinces battle it out to avoid rounds of qualifiers - Kerry (and Cork) have no need to as they will be in the final 12 each year. Training can be specifically tailored to reach peak fitness in August. Cork also have a decent record in their quarter finals.
Kerry would still be top of the tree regardless what structure they have to face , but their number of All-Irelands would perhaps be closer to Dublin's 22. If Kerry were in a province with the likes of Roscommon, Derry or Kildare, then some year these teams would beat them. It wouldn't happen very often but it would happen sometime - like the way shocks happen in Connacht, Ulster and Leinster. Current set-up gives the default into the final 12/quarters regardless as Cork is the only serious game before August. And the last time you were in the 12, you got a handy one in Longford at home.
of course,the fact that Cork alone (one county) has almost half the AI of Ulster combined doesn't factor into your calculations...ever heard of the expression that its quality (of good teams), not the quantity (of mediocore teams), that counts...
..but, sure, I have a turkey to tackle so there's no point quibbling over the relative merits of the provinces...merry xmas to all our friends in Ulster. Let the the battle for dominance begin again next year.
of course,the fact that Cork alone (one county) has almost half the AI of Ulster combined doesn't factor into your calculations...ever heard of the expression that its quality (of good teams), not the quantity (of mediocore teams), that counts...
think it's time you got some batteries for the calculator as an xmas pressie
Mike. Let me take those retired giants of Ulster football as a start, Cavan 5, Down 5, ok lets stop before we go Armagh, Tyrone, Donegal, Derry.
And the few oul yokes won by Cork carry the same taint as has been elequently hung on those hard won trophies of the kingdom, when you don't have to get out of bed before August to entertain the prospect of competing for Sam at any meaningful level, well of course you have some sort of chance of eventually annexing something.
So look, no arguments about two things. First-kerry=great football county, two=kerry competing in Leinster or Ulster historically=many less All Irelands. Happy Christmas.
Its a great mystery how your own county could only manage to turn 5 of those 39 Anglo celts into All-Irelands ?
....perhaps you'd care to explain that one Anglocelt39 instead of trying to take away from Kerrys achievements.
So look, no arguments about two things. First-kerry=great football county, two=kerry competing in Leinster or Ulster historically=many less All Irelands. Happy Christmas
Seasons greetings Mike. See above which hardly constitutes "trying to take away from Kerry's achievements"-I think this thread became a debate about the relative merits of Kerrys achievements which are substantial but devalued somewhat by the fact that they had a practically free ride at provincial level for countless years. So by way of myself and others trying to restate the obivous for the umpteenth time lets take a very simple analogy from the Garrison game-FA cup=ok Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal=you lot come in from the Third Round; United and Tottenham we'll give you lot a bye to Round Six, all other things being equal it doesn't take much to work out who is most likely to come out tops over a period of several years.
Watched 'The Green and the Gold' last night on TG4, about the history of Kerry football from the formation of Laune Rangers to the present day. Great stuff and some magnificent Kerry teams, but 2005 seems to have been completely banished from the history books in a bout of Stalinism from the Animals ... and who said youse boys were bad losers :D
If we were we could have mentioned how much we were down at half time in '86 and how much we won by ;D
Quote from: red hander on December 26, 2007, 11:25:55 AM
Watched 'The Green and the Gold' last night on TG4, about the history of Kerry football from the formation of Laune Rangers to the present day. Great stuff and some magnificent Kerry teams, but 2005 seems to have been completely banished from the history books in a bout of Stalinism from the Animals ... and who said youse boys were bad losers :D
I would suggest that you contact TG4 or RTE and suggest a program on Tyrones 2003 and 2005 campaign
Jaysus I had some skelp of porter on me last Friday evening, but ye got off lightly, I'm a happy drunk.
Quotebut 2005 seems to have been completely banished from the history books
Not at all we dont want to be seen as being too greedy, but only for that wee baldy fecker we'd be away chasing another 5-in-a-row in 08.
The last Finuge man to captain us, Jimmy Deenihan, and we won a 4-in-a-row way back in the year of our Lord and 1981, and we have another Finuge man in 08, the bould Paul Galvin to hopefully lead us to a new treble.
That was some lament from KM (on page 1 of the thread) .